Sultana

Well, I'm taking it as a guy and a gal are dancing together, close enough that he gets excited and she can tell, via sight and/or touch. In that instance, for me, as long as the guy isn't coming AT me with it, or blocking me from leaving, then I'd consider it a natural event, and hell, why not--a bit of a compliment. And I can see it happening during Salsa dancing, I don't see why that would be different. But I should note that I've never, EVER "dirty danced" with a guy not my hubby in a club. I don't like it and don't care to watch it either, really.

However, if some guy comes up to me and starts pole-vaulting AT me, without my consent, nuh uh. But I have to say that's not at all how I read the OP.

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analog

Ok here's what's what. Apparently you're not the type to roll up to a guy and dance with him by sticking your ass in his crotch, and that's fine. You must have friends of similar dispositions.

The pure fact of the matter is, a large percentage of the rest of the club-going females DO. I don't know why you're unaware of this, but they do. A lot. Overwhelmingly the majority, in fact. I don't care how many females come out in this thread and say they don't and have never seen it, you're either not catching it or you're lying to yourself. Because it's VERY common.

To be honest, I've heard of plenty of girls who will grind up on a guy's crotch out of nowhere, unprovoked- but no one's going to call a girl grinding her ass into your crotch creepy, even if she's horridly unattractive.

And yes, there are those guys that initiate it, but that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about a mutually-enjoyed dancing experience between two people already in progress, pre-boner, and THEN the man develops an erection. That's what's being discussed here.

And yes, it's ok to allow the natural process of sexual arousal when someone is intentionally rubbing their ass on your crotch. If they freak out, they must not know what the penis is there for.

Demonism

thanks to everyone for all your input. this has grown to a pretty funny thread. most of you are right about my intentions. i dont go around with my wang out, poking girls with it. i'll usually just dance next to a girl and i wont even touch her until get a sense that she wants to go further. usually they'll either let you know by putting their ass in your crotch, or they'll go hind behind their friends. so a few minutes of ass in crotch action and i'm ready to salute with my hands behind my back. it's not even that much up, just a little, but enough so she can feel it. i used to hide it, but now i'll see what happens when i let em feel it.

abaya

Duuude. Why is this thread sounding like an argument? I think pretty much every woman here has said that if they were attracted to some guy, and he was into them, and showed his appreciation with a little salute... fine with us. I don't think anyone's debating that (including me). I don't think I said I was unaware of that fact, my friend. I simply said that I did not do it, and that it was *usually* the case that men initiated these things. Also, I said in my first post that I have friends who would certainly do lots of things that I would not do, including sticking their ass in some man's crotch and going home with said man later on. Not my thing, but whatever they want to do is their choice. I'm not saying I'm unaware of the behavior, but that yes, I'm not really into it. Is there a need to argue about such preferences?

Well no shit. Did I disagree? If so, it was certainly not intended. I doubt anyone would disagree with that.

It seems most of the reaction in this thread is split down gender lines, about totally different issues: a) anger at men who have boned women or grabbed ass in a club without getting at least implicit permission first, or b) frustration with women who have rejected men in clubs for one reason or another.

Meh, who knows. Hope it's all settled now.

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Paq

it's already close to enough to "stick it up the bum"

totally just kidding


Anyway, just to add a bit of personal experience, on one of my few times dancing with a girl (friends/not quite dating at the time), she would brush her butt against the crotch and if i happened to become aroused, she'd stand a little taller and keep doing it and occassionally reach her hand around for my 'thigh'

and yeah, she LOVED it when she could get someone aroused from dancing.

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match000

you can TELL if a girl gets wet on the dancefloor? How?? heh

Impetuous1

Ewwww.....If you can tell that then it's probably not what you think it is.

Toaster126

Hahahaha.

Wow, Impetuous1.

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Seaver

My girlfriend whispered it in my ear while dancing once (god was that hot).

And I've had other female-friends admit it when we had this same conversation.

Paq

honestly, i just look for the puddle under her feet.

makes it easier


either that, or she didn't realize she had to pee

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Mantus

Sultana...always thought you were the naughty girl...I am heartbroken...

Sultana

Hmmm, didn't say I didn't dance with the ladies ...However for the record I *am* naughty, but just in other, less pedestrian ways.

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match000

Yesterday I was at a house party (grad school) and I met this cute girl and we chatted it up. I got her #, and then later when I saw her I said "wanna dance?"

We headed over, danced a bit, I did my thang, pointed over at the couple beside us who were grinding and feeling each other out and I said: "wanna do that?"

Then we started grinding and as we were grinding I got a hard-on. The girl stopped just a lil after that and we went back to regular dancing. But I just acted like nothing happened and kept dancing, and after a while we did about 30 more mins of grindin' and I didn't get any more hard-ons (lol I got used to it...)

kangaeru

There are two main vibes you get as a guy when dancing with a girl at a club.

Vibe A, Go Away:

This is when you randomly walk up on some girl or ask her straight out if she wants to dance, and rather than be mean by just shutting you down, she says okay. When you're dancing with her, if she is keeping her distance, not really getting close to you, and most of all not really looking at you, she's not feeling it, and rubbing your hard-on against her is going to send her running.

Vibe B, Stick It:

Things will usually start the same, where you have to initiate something out of the blue to make things happen. However, once you're on the dance floor, if you guys are grooving and she is getting more and more comfortable with you, maybe putting her arms up over your shoulders and locking her hands around your next or grabbing you in any sort of way, she's turned on and she's ready to go. Furthermore, if a girl is dancing with you for 2+ songs and you guys have kind of been floating back and forth between the bar and the dance floor, she digs you or she would've cut you like ballast by now anyways. If that's the situation, rubbing your boner up against her is going to send her into overdrive and is a good way to make her start thinking, "I love the way that dick feels, I kinda want to bring this guy home tonight..."

You may or may not go home with her, but the vibe with the girl you're dancing with is going to fall mainly into one of those two categories...you usually won't find a girl who will dance around with you for a long time and be physical with you if she's not interested in you, so based on how you judge that chemistry should decide whether or not to bring out the power tools.

The most important thing to do if you want to have good results is a) get a clue on how to dance, all you need to do is find the bass line and bob to it if you're not very coordinated. Even if the girl is busting out the crazy hip moves she's going to be in the same meter as you so your movements will compliment her, even if they're simple.

And while we're on the subject, don't be a flamboyant dancer. If the girl thinks you dance better than she does she'll think you've done this a lot before and you've probably brought back a lot of girls and you're a gross male slut-bag. Really good dancing on the guy's part may turn some girls on, but most of them want to keep it conservative in this regard and do most of the improv while the guy just sits back and enjoys her leading.

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insidious_machinae

My senior year of high school, this girl I knew asked me (admittedly as a last resort) to go to winter formal with her. The night was overall terrible, because she hung out with a lot of the jocks and other punkasses who gave me trouble all through high school. Anyway, things got worse when we got to the dance.

It pissed me off, because she was just a confused bitch. I was continuously trying to back away from her so 1) I wouldn't get an erection, and 2) when I did, it wouldn't hit her. But she was dumb and she kept getting closer. Yet, she still ended up bitching to one of her friends (who then told me) that she didn't feel comfortable dancing with me after she felt it. Ended up embarrassing me even further that night, and pretty much ruined my senior formal.

I've had other girls (including LPM) tell me they love it. Obviously, they were into me, and she wasn't.


Edit: I've also had girls tell me I'd made them wet when I was dancing with them.

james t kirk

To all the women / young girls who find it creepy.

Wait till you get older and it never happens.

Then you will be sad that no man gets a hard on over you anymore.

Enjoy it while it lasts.

Lady Sage

Just think of George Bush in a speedo next to Janet Reno in pasties and a g-string. That should be enough to kill any kind of desire.

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Temporary_User

haha, I'm always super embarrassed when this happens. I always make sure to wear boxer briefs when i go out. (I feel that will hold it down a bit more than boxers would)
Reading this thread I think the next time I get a woody on the dancefloor, I'm just going to turn around and walk away from the girl.

Jozrael

Why? It's a natural reaction, and it seems to me that the general tone here is that if you're not butt ugly (seems to be the most important criterion, here) AND you're not shoving it into her unprovoked, most people are either A: totally okay with it, or B: will let you know nicely by just shying away from it.

Leto

Aye, that's the rub.

This is where guys and girls differ.

Paq

for guys, it's not dancing with girls you don't know...it's dancing with girls you don't 'know' *yet*

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xepherys

I think some of you gals don't quite understand how a man's penis works after reading this thread.

a) Bump'n'Grind: Yeah, if you are involved in some butt grinding dancing, and then you STILL get "grossed out" by a guy getting hard, it shows you are immature and unreasonable. That kind of dancing is meant for the sole purpose of getting attention. Girls who say, "Oh, but I just like dancing" and dance like that... well... too bad! That's like taking your shirt and bra off and then being "grossed out" or pissed that a guy looking at you gets hard becuase you "just like being topless". Seriously?!

b) Other dancing. This is still not terribly reasonable area to get upset. Take the Tango for instance. There is no genital grinding. But the dances purpose is to be provocative. If I were doing the tango with an attractive woman, I could easily see myself getting a bit stiff. That's the POINT of the dance, sexual tension, longing, romance.

c) Frankly, it's not terribly difficult for a guy to sport wood just checking a chick out if she's really "his type". Sure this isn't a 100%. But still...

In the end, being "creeped out" buy a guys dick is just lame. If he was coming on to you, or being overbearing, or whipping it out... THAT would be creepy. A guy who has a boner for you? It's a physical compliment. Even guys who don't know how to compliment women can get that one right.

*sigh*


And even this isn't 100% the case. I can just have a good time, it doesn't mean I won't possibly get aroused. Getting aroused doesn't mean I expect to get laid. It just means I'm aroused. The difference is a girl can bump n grind and feel sexy and get a little wet and nobody is the wiser. A guy gets a chub and girls freak out. WTF double standard much?

Isn't that the truth?!

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waltert

for the ladies, what else should you expect when you're grinding your butt against some guys tool?

Im assuming that the original poster was reffering to "freak dancing"

if you get a woody while slow-dancing...man, I dont know

Halx

I once had a dance-off with a girl in a club. It didn't cause any boners, but it did get a lot of attention from a lot of girls there. It was kinda funny 'cause I really wasn't there to pick up anybody... I was just sorta bored, looking for a way to pass the time.

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SugahBritches

HA! I guess I need to go to clubs and start dancing!!! Seems as though I've missed out alot!!! Take me dancing PLEASE! I'm laughing though....sounds like this "dance" is more provocative than what I am thinking. If so, then .......well, you girls should know WHAT it consists of BEFORE dancing. And if it is your butt kissin' his wanger.....then...well...HELLO!!!!

To me...........it ain't that big of a deal. So what if he gets a boner while dancing with you? Jeeze. I have no idea why it's all the sudden so complicated. Must be my age!!!

surferlove007

When at the club with my friends I tend to dance only with my girlfriends or our mutual guy-friends but I've never been into "booty" dancing, I dunno it makes me feel like a prostitute or something of that nature, and to think of doing that with a stranger weirds me out. I guess it also has to do with currently dating someone also, I just have never had the urge to get up and dance with some random guy, and god forbid he has a boner. Everyone is different, some people don't care while others do. My preference is with my girlfriends, although that tends to have guys coming over to get imbetween us and its like no... you go back to your corner, we're having a blast with ourselves.

thed00t

Happens all the time mate. My suggestion is back off a bit when it occurs, but if she notices, the next action is up to her. If she gets creeped out that's her problem. If she doesn't mind, she can keep going.

Facts:

1. She is the one grindin'. And if you're the one who started it, and it kept going to the point of excitement, well she didn't exactly pull away.
2. You can't really help it. It's an involuntary action and involuntary means, I didn't do it on purpose. Human hormones at work people, nothing to get creeped out over.
3. If she finds it creepy, she can stop, slow down, or flat out walk away without it escalating based on #1 and #2. The onus is on the lady in this case to put a stop to it or keep it going.

Men do not read minds, but we do read body langauge. And body language at this point would be close proximity dancing, and sexy butt to crotch contact. That language spells hot with a capital sexy. So if that's the langauge, and we go to far, our bads, forgive us... sometimes we let your beauty distract us from being perfectly fluent.

Ladies, if you are creeped out by this, sorry, but remember you are the ones who caused it. In our minds, it's not a negative, a spontaneus wood is like saying "hi, I can't help but find you sexy".

I'm a man, and I'm not going to apologize for a girl getting creeped out if she turns me on. There are too many chemical reactions that you can't control at play here.

If you strike a match, expect it to burn.

match000

Hey if a girl grinds with u for a while, is it an invitation to ask her to join u for some more private fun? (provided that she's a good girl and not a slut/ditz/bitch/ugly)

mariux123

...

analog

Indeed- and funny enough, it's in the rub that we differ.

But seriously... girls will grind their ass into my crotch with no sexual intention? I find that hard to believe. They know what that does, and they do that to elicit a possible response. I still think some are confusing "dancing with", in general, with "grinding on the crotch".

MSD

I can opnly imagine the hilarity of you getting hard behind a girl who doesn't expect it and doesn't know what she's getting into (more like what's getting into her.) I can't imagine you could get ut to stay down without the kind of restraints they use to attach palettes of stuff to flatbed trailers.
No, but you'll probably be more successful asking her than someone who's too nice to decline a dance and is keeping you at arm's length.