Freaking Myself Out
 

Months have become a constant source of ulcers at my house. I recently, for some god forsaken reason, looked up signs of pregnancy... from there it all went downhill.

This month my girlfriend mentioned that her breasts were bigger and at first they were tender but after that they were good. There were a day or two where she said she had to pee all the time. She has been crying more then usual. She mentioned feeling ill brushing her teeth one morning.


AHHHHH! I know she's not pregnant. It is so very unlikely. She is on birthcontrol and when we make love with out a condom I pull out more then a couple of seconds before I cum. She has her period on sunday but she is always a couple of days late.... oh god I'm going to die in the next four or five days.

Comfort me please.

Birth control is not 100%.

Pulling out is stupid and doesn't work.

If you're so broken up about this, don't have sex.

That just about sums it up.

Has your girlfriend tried a pregnancy test or are you waiting to see if she has her period?

join the club of the worried pal, Had sex with my girlfriend who's on BC once without a condom, and cummed inside her full shot. Needless to say, now I'm paranoid as hell, usually I'm a very debout rubber user. I'll be glad when she gets on the rag, tell ya that much.

Smooth - How long has your girlfriend been on BC?

PunkMusic - She's not pregnant. Don't worry about it.

Ok, you do know that pulling out only means she gets less of a wet spot to sleep on, right? It has nothing to do with preventing pregnancy.
*gets out large box marked 'SOAP' and steps up:

There have been numerous threads about 'I'm scared I/gf/SO might be pregnant', so I have to ask: If the thought of the remotest possibility of pregnancy is so frightening that imagination runs wild, why on earth are you having intercourse? Yea, ok, you couldn't help youselves, etc., but if you don't know what to do to totally protect yourself from this possibility you simply shouldn't be doing it.
Some remedial review: BC pills are not foolproof, especially for the first complete cycle. They do not protect against disease either, so if you're not sure, wear the rubber, always. Pulling out means nothing, nada, zip. The highest potency (concentration of sperm) is in that first spurt. Once you feel yourself coming, you're too late. You might not get all 20million swimmers in there, but the strongest ones are already on their way. This goes for touching genitals to genitals-your chances are remote, but even that primary dribble has sperm.
You can't get pregnant with fingering. Period. (Don't laugh, it's been asked) Dried cum on your hand is just that, not some potent lotion bound for procreation.
Women, girls under 20, are irregular. It's a fact of life and it's highlighted with stresses of college, boyfriends, life and if they're athletic, they can be further irregular.
You can create a pregnancy at any time. Don't depend on the '15 day rule'. It's an average based on the 'perfect' cycle. Females can and do ovulate anywhere from the 7th day after a period to the 21st day after. It's called a 'luteal phase' and it's not always perfect and can vary from woman to woman, month to month.
Educate yourself. Remember 'sex ed'? That class you either skipped or fell asleep in? It probably had some decent information that you missed. Read, discuss. Having sex with someone is THE most personal thing you can do, yet actually discussing it somehow gets pushed back way too often.
*steps down, grabs the box and walks off.....

One of birth control's many side effects is making a woman's body think it is already pregnant. This can cause all of the symptoms you listed.

As previous posters said, grow up.

There is also semen in preseminal fluid, so pulling out is useless. just wear a rubber, they're getting thinner and better all the time.
Either you accept the possibility of being a dad, or you accept the measures to NOT be a dad.

yeah... what she said!

I don't want to change my lifestyle for a child, but have to accept that having sex makes that possibility greater than zero. If something that I do not want to happen isn't something that I want then I will not be doing it.

I'm also going to have to go along with the following line: "If you're adult enough to have sex, you're also adult enough to live with the concequences of that action".

To offer you some help, even though you're being unresponsible about this sitiation, it's possible for her to skip her period for a long time. My ex was late for over a month and showed all sorts of symptoms of being pregnant, but she wasn't. A million things can cause a woman to be late. Chill out. If she's pregnant then you NEED to accept it; responsibility is evident in everything.

A-- Fucking -- Men...

I would like to reply to all of those who have commented with thank you; it's always appriciated. I'm not sure if I was looking for a grow up but it is nice to learn that pulling out is useless. I am at a point in my life where pregnancy would simply put a large halt to both of our futures. And it is scary, we both have very bright paths ahead of us, and to see them being changed freaks us out. Yes, she has had her breasts feel larger and tender before and has felt ill before also; so thank you to Buk who posted about the effects of birthcontrol, that really eases my mind.

This is not about not accepting or foreseeing any problems, such as becoming a father. I will be a good father I'm sure, and Ash will be an amazing mother, she was born to be.

I began this thread simply looking for flaws in my paranoia, not in my approach to making love to my fiancee. If a child is a result of it then it will be accepted and loved. I am, unashamedly so, quite niave and unexperienced when it comes to intercourse. I know how to make a girl come but beyond the teenaged frolics I encountered I am uninformed. I don't trust the medical journals or pages dedicated to the subject on the internet obviously, I thought I would come to a place where I could put my trust in the more then experienced perople around me.

NG: My fiancee and I are both young and inexperienced, we are both willing to learn and communication is never, and has never, been a problem; ESPECIALLY sexually. But asking each other what we enjoy is far from this subject. Otherwise we would. I ask here instead; I thought that was clear?

thank you for your posts and please continue; i love feedback.

Ok well punk I'll address this with you again with a few options.

The only way to avoid becoming a father is to not have sex. I can see that you would like to have a sexual relationship with her so we'll ignore that one. There is always potential for safe sex to fail. Birth control is never 100%, Pulling out is useless, precum holds enough sperm to fertilize an egg. Condoms can break. So this is honestly something you just have to think about.

On a better note, like I said it's possible that something else in her life has made her cycle skip; it happens and doesn't always mean you're going to have a child. Wait a few weeks and if she doesn't have her period, buy a home pregnancy kit. Work from there. Best of luck.

more or less what ng said...


yah I remember that class... I payed attention to every single word the teacher said... I wanted to learn as much as I could about sex so I could be awesome at it:D

Asking what you enjoy goes a very long way in avoiding pregnancy. Knowing now that pulling out, for instance, does nothing to prevent can go either way-you can either now injoy the sensation of coming inside her or avoid the pulling out scenario entirely by engaging in some other act. It's ALL related.
Birth Control pills are designed to mimic pregnancy which is why so many girls think they might be pregnant soon after they go on it. This should have been explained to her when she got them. Breasts will enlarge, feel sore(caffeine, chocolate and red wine will further that feeling as well) and can even leak milk when stimulated. Mood swings are possible, as are libido swings and there may be some vaginal dryness.
The main point here is twofold; one, educate. Sex isn't just stickin it in and pumping, you know that. And when you know what's what, the paranoia will subside. Two, slow down. Not just in what you do, but in the thought process. Let logic take hold and think a little. But, I will reiterate; if all this panic and paranoia is taking over, you need to cool it until you can handle whatever the situation presents.
You do need to trust medical journals, etc. We're laypeople. We're going by the combo of what we have learned with what we have experienced, but we're not you. By reading up and seeking out real medical information, you're in a better position to compare and relate.

I'm gonna have to disagree with some of you - early withdrawal, although it isn't birth control per say, does lower the chance of pregnancy.

I practice this (in conjunction with hormonal birth control) with my fiance.

Granted, nothing is foolproof, but it certainly does lower the chances.

Taken from http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/birthcontrol/

This goes without saying, but I would obviously never recommend using withdrawal as the sole source of "birth control" - well, unless you're comfortable being a parent :D

Gatorade Frost - My girlfriend has been on BC for about 2 years, she started as at 16 to help with her massive cramps.

Update- today is monday, a day after the expected date of arrival and she commented to me this morning over the phone, after going to dance class, that she had good news for me. It hasn't come yet but she says she can tell her period is on it's way. Let's just hope it doesn't take it's time. Of course, it is always possible that she is still baring my future child. Either way I will survive.

But please, continue to liberate me. I am in dire need of education. Thanks for all the comments so far folks

You're banking on a 4% success rate???http://www.debatepolitics.com/images/smilies/5eek.gif
Do you also buy 10 lottery tickets a week because you have a better shot of winning?
The link you posted states thusly:

Because this method requires great self-control and experience, this is not a recommended birth control method for teens.
Pre-ejaculate can contain enough sperm to cause pregnancy. Also, if semen or pre-ejaculate spill on the vulva, pregnancy is possible.
The only thing you are doing by pulling out is depriving yourself of some cool joy and making a mess on her stomach (or back). Stay. Come. Enjoy.

hahahahahahaha I'll share that with my fiancee; she'd love that

Actually the site linked to says chance of getting pregnant by withdrawal is 27% with typical use. That means it has a 73% success rate. I'm actually pretty surprised.

Considering that at any given month, a woman has a 30-40% chance of getting pregnant without any use of contraception, that's not great odds vs. natural at all. And if one of your little buggers meets up with one of her little buggers, you have 100% chance. If you want to play the odds, have at it. ;)

Enough sperm to cause pregnancy... like one!

Are the chances high? Nope. Do you want to change diapers at 1:30 in the morning for a screaming child who came forth from your loins? Probably not if you're pulling out as a "safety measure."

Use real birth control methods: pills, patches, condoms, and abstinence. All the kids who don't want to be parents are doing it.

As I said in my OP she is using birth control pills and we use condoms more often then not, but occationally it strikes without a rubber on hand.

I couldn't resist...
That's when you USE the hand!:D

Ba dum cshhhhh... clever lol. I know that sounds silly and immature and short sighted but it had really never occured to me that I could still have a big chance of impregnanting her. It's 7:00 am right now, and I'm wait for her to wake up to let me know whats going on.

Hope it's well?

exactly. greater than zero percent.

chances of her getting pregnant with you not sticking your dick or getting any jizz in or on her? zero percent

chances of her getting pregnant with sticking your dick or getting any jizz in or on her? greater than zero percent.

it was one of the contributing factors to me being celibate during my heavy drinking days. I don't have to worry that some chippy is going to walk up to me with some kid and claim she is mine.

Update: today she called me around ten in the morning to inform me that she had started her period... But I'm still learning... so keep posting :)

congratulations on your...non-fatherhood? (I never know how to say these things)
I guess you needed a good scare to look at things in a better perspective. Best of luck to both of you in your years together to come.

For what it's worth, I was on the pill for mmm, 15 years or so as our only means of BC, and hey presto! No babies! I know it's not fool proof, but gees, the chances are pretty slim.

But yeah, seen too many "Haven't actually had sex, but I'm afraid we're preggers" posts lately, roflol! At least our punkmusicfan here has had sex, and isn't afraid to say so. :))

Mr. Punk--you're fine. You guys'll be great. Use scares like this to motivate a no-condom, no nookie rule so you don't have to go through it again.

Although as the devil's own advocate...a good friend of mine had her period all through her pregnancies...just fyi.
(insert evil laugh here).

But I wish you and the future missus much happiness and luck and joy and baby-free life right up until the moment you guys decide it's time to go for it.

I had a roommate in college who got her period and wicked PMS every single month, even after we suggested that perhaps she stop drinking and take a test because she was getting a rather large tummy... She insisted she wasn't pregnant right up until we took her to the hospital when she was in labor :D

My mom did for the first month of her pregnancy with both my brother and I, which threw our due dates off. At any rate, I'm incredibly cautious, and am deliberately on birth control that has an incredibly low failure rate (and no major side effects for me), Depo-Provera. Since I don't want kids any time soon, the idea that it basically makes me infertile is quite appealing!

There's only a 4% chance of gettting pregnant with perfect use, typical use is a 27% percent chance of getting pregnant.

Like I said, I would not recommend relying solely on withdrawal, but used in conjunction with hormonal birth control, it further lowers the chances of pregnancy.



And, I hate to be a stick in the mud, but technically speaking it requires more than one sperm to get someone pregnant - it takes many to break down the egg's membrane to allow that one lucky sperm in :D

you learned that at the beginning of Looks Who's Talking :) Bruce Willis was the lucky spermie :D

All of those things she experienced are probably just symptoms of PMS. I have been late on my period several times but it doesn't necessarily mean I'm pregnant.

I am still quite fearful of a child and how that may effect us... she is complaining that her stomach is sticking out, that she may have a gut (she is very small; a ballet dancer) but her stomach is hard yet tender and sore. Her period wasn't the same as usuall but she said the flow was very heavy for two days which makes me think perhaps i have nothing to worry abot. But of course, I am probably wrong. She is still elated and joyful all the time (she usually is but very much so lately; less then last week though) and still gets upset easily. Also, she is easily sore vaginally (word?) Her period ended a couple of days ago? help me.

As far as I know, Heavy Flow=Pushing out the inside of her bajingo area along with any sort of attached egg.

Noone will be able to tell you for sure punk, I'd suggest that you get a home pregnancy kit to put your mind at ease.

However, perhaps you should reconsider whether or not you are ready for sex. Granted, I don't really know you - so take what I say with a grain of salt, but it seems to me that you get extraordinarily worried about pregnancy, even when you have taken relatively reliable precautions. I suppose the only way for you to know is to decide if sex is worth the feelings that you have right now. Perhaps you could limit yourself to oral sex or something. If I were sweating each month like you were, I would seriously take a step back and try and determine if I was ready or not - because regardless of how cautious you are, you certainly could become a parent.

Either way, good luck - and I feel for you bud :D

Gatorade, can you clarify.

I also want to turn this into something else that will get me guff from moderators... Are then any women or men in here that have been involved in young pregnancy. What was your situation and how did things turn out?

Punk, my cold cold heart goes out to you... you are making yourself crazy.. you both have to relax... you're gonna get old before your time...

Your girlfriend is young.. anything can cause a menstrual cycle to go screwy...

Go to a local Planned Parenthood and request that a test be done, while your there, maybe some birth control education would be in order. (and that wasn't said to be insulting, but you guys seriously need some education about the female body and reproduction.

Sex is a wonderful thing, when you are ready for it - this angst that you go thru maybe is just a sign that you guys just arent' ready... and that's not a bad thing...