I need some advice - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

newlyable · 03-29-2006, 02:43 PM

OK, I'm 18 and in a month i will be graduating high-school, moving away from home and into my boyfriends(of 2years) place. I love him with all my heart, but sometimes I just feel like im more of a case study to him. I Can't talk to him about it because its like talking to a brick wall, i can't loose him because i wouldnt know how to function. I admit im an overly jealous girlfriend but its only because i have never dated anyone that makes me feel the way he does.. Last night we got into our worst fight so far, i haven't ever cried so much in my life.. Please help me before I push away the only person in my life that i couldnt live without.

Toaster126 · 03-29-2006, 02:49 PM

Being so dependent on someone usually pushes them away. The idea is not to find another person to complete you, but to be happy with your life and then find someone to share it with.

If you can't communicate with your partner, the relationship is going to end, and end terribly. If there really is as much love as you say there is, you should be able to talk about things with each other.

Cynthetiq · 03-29-2006, 02:51 PM

from the Language of Letting Go:

Quote:

Letting Go of Worry

What if we knew for certain that everything we're worried about today will work out fine?

What if . . . we had a guarantee that the problem bothering us would be worked out in the most perfect way, and at the best possible time? Furthermore, what if we knew that three years from now we'd be grateful for that problem, and its solution?

What if . . . we knew that even our worst fear would work out for the best?

What if . . . we had a guarantee that everything that's happening, and has happened, in our life was meant to be, planned just for us, and in our best interest?

What if . . . we had a guarantee that the people we love are experiencing exactly what they need in order to become who they're intended to become? Further, what if we had a guarantee that others can be responsible for themselves, and we don't have to control or take responsibility for them?

What if . . . we knew the future was going to be good, and we would have an abundance of resources and guidance to handle whatever comes our way?

What if . . . we knew everything was okay, and we didn't have to worry about a thing? What would we do then?

We'd be free to let go and enjoy life.

Today, I will know that I don't have to worry about anything. If I do worry, I will do it with the understanding that I am choosing to worry, and it is not necessary.

newlyable · 03-29-2006, 03:05 PM

We talk about things and communicate, but sometimes things just seem so hard to fix, im stubborn he's stubborn. OK here's my story, my whole life I have never really been able to be a kid, i have been put through hell not only on my home front but from my peers, i'm a very angry person because of the way my life has been, i have been through and faced with things that noone my age should have been faced with, i dont know how to be a kid, and it drives me up the wall that my boyfriend is such a kid. I know it is wrong to get upset with him, when he wants to party, play video games, etc. but I can't help it I don't know how to let go like he does, I want to have fun and experience life but I'm afraid that if i do i will mess up, or simply just not know how. how do i fix this?

Sultana · 03-29-2006, 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newlyable

We talk about things and communicate, but sometimes things just seem so hard to fix, im stubborn he's stubborn. OK here's my story, my whole life I have never really been able to be a kid, i have been put through hell not only on my home front but from my peers, i'm a very angry person because of the way my life has been, i have been through and faced with things that noone my age should have been faced with, i dont know how to be a kid, and it drives me up the wall that my boyfriend is such a kid. I know it is wrong to get upset with him, when he wants to party, play video games, etc. but I can't help it I don't know how to let go like he does, I want to have fun and experience life but I'm afraid that if i do i will mess up, or simply just not know how. how do i fix this?

Through professional counseling.
I completely, *completely* understand your point of view, I was forced to grow up waaaay too fast as well. I'm making up for it now in my 30's!

But I've been to counseling more than once in my life, and it's benefited me greatly in this area.
Take care of your problems now, otherwise they'll only get bigger, and perhaps make you miss out on opportunities you'd otherwise get to enjoy and make use of.

03-29-2006, 02:43 PM	#1 (permalink)
newlyable Upright	I need some advice OK, I'm 18 and in a month i will be graduating high-school, moving away from home and into my boyfriends(of 2years) place. I love him with all my heart, but sometimes I just feel like im more of a case study to him. I Can't talk to him about it because its like talking to a brick wall, i can't loose him because i wouldnt know how to function. I admit im an overly jealous girlfriend but its only because i have never dated anyone that makes me feel the way he does.. Last night we got into our worst fight so far, i haven't ever cried so much in my life.. Please help me before I push away the only person in my life that i couldnt live without.

03-29-2006, 02:49 PM	#2 (permalink)
Toaster126 Extreme moderation Location: Kansas City, yo.	Being so dependent on someone usually pushes them away. The idea is not to find another person to complete you, but to be happy with your life and then find someone to share it with. If you can't communicate with your partner, the relationship is going to end, and end terribly. If there really is as much love as you say there is, you should be able to talk about things with each other. __________________ "The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand) "The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

03-29-2006, 03:05 PM	#4 (permalink)
newlyable Upright	We talk about things and communicate, but sometimes things just seem so hard to fix, im stubborn he's stubborn. OK here's my story, my whole life I have never really been able to be a kid, i have been put through hell not only on my home front but from my peers, i'm a very angry person because of the way my life has been, i have been through and faced with things that noone my age should have been faced with, i dont know how to be a kid, and it drives me up the wall that my boyfriend is such a kid. I know it is wrong to get upset with him, when he wants to party, play video games, etc. but I can't help it I don't know how to let go like he does, I want to have fun and experience life but I'm afraid that if i do i will mess up, or simply just not know how. how do i fix this?