jusolson00

Hello everybody, I am in need of some serious female, and male advice about a particular subject... V-day...Okay, before i get to the question I'll give ya a bit of back story about my situation and what i've got planned so far. My GF and I have been together 2 months now and things couldn't be better.. she is a wonderful, beautiful woman who I care for very much. We are already past the "i love you" stage and by all accounts would be pretty serious. Oh and our ages are Me 24, she 21. Anyways I've been thinking about the ever famous V-day and what I could do for her as she is a very romantic kind of girl who likes surprises and such. I realize that I am probally ahead of the game so to speak as i'm planning this out weeks in advance.. hell even I have to give myself props for getting this done so early . It is on all accounts a very well thought out and planned strategic campagin. I have nicknamed this "operation sunshine".
The following events will take place starting on 2/13/06 in order, & under my command.----"T"-1day---Place order to flower shop for delivery of 3 red roses (1 or each month) to be delivered at her place of work the following mourning. -- "V-Day"--- GF recieves flowers at work and is happy... later I may call her or go to see her that night (we live an hour apart, and V-day is a weekday, can't burn the midnight oil that night)
Okay, now due to other commitments I have the rest of the "gift" planned for feb 25 ( I would do it the following weekend the 18th but its my buddies wedding) Anyway after some recon work and survellience I have a hotel room reserved for that night. Not just any hotel room. A hot tub suite. I've already visted the hotel and toured the room. A large 4 post, king sized bed, a fireplace, 2 person hot tub and lots of space, also large shower and bathroom. I know in a campaign such as this you cannot pick and choose your locations, but I believe with my advance training me and my men are up for the chanallge . Anyways my plan will be for me to check into the room that afternoon, and stock it with food, drinks of her liking, as we will no doubt work up an appitite. Now I figured that we will spend the evening at this place, but I needed something for the afternoon....So after a bit more thinking... I have decieded on treating her to a day spa that afternoon. keep in mind she will be on a need-to-know basis and I will reveal this an hour or so before she needs to be there.. thus upping the "surprise factor"
I figured that I cannot go wrong with this.. as it would make her feel relaxed, comfortable, sexy, and on top of the world.. then hit her with the room! So.. are there any holes in my plan??? Also... the other part of my plan that I need help with. I have just thought of the spa plan, and I would like the ladies reply with what they enjoy at the spa.. This is enemy territory and I have no intelligence with what goes on beyond those walls.. so..what do you LIKE at a spa?? and keep in mind price too... I'm thinking a tan,, massage,...ect...??? Thanks for any ideas or opinions!!!

ShaniFaye

The only hole I see is waiting until the day before to order the flowers to be delivered, vday is a VERY busy day so I would suggest doing that a few more days before that, unless of course you know the florist and they can guarantee that if you call the day before they can deliver on "the" day

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

maleficent

if you are going to do anything with a spa - do a couples massage...

or just go exploring in the town that you are in... if you are trying to be romantic-- the object is to spend time together - not spend an exhorbitant amount of money...

not to be a crabby ass - but i am today. so... I'll be honest...

Your plan sounds nice, and at one point in my life i was a very romantic person, but it just seems way too over the top and it would make me very uncomfortable... especially because you've been together for such a short time... (the flowers would be enough for me) I would honestly be expecting a marriage proposal a tthe end of this... and that would totally wig me out...

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ShaniFaye

oh mal!!! A night in a romantic hotel sounds terrific...I absolutely love when dave plans things like this for me, and like wise for him....he loves coming home from work on a friday to find out I've got our bags packed and ready to go and I kidnap him to take him somewhere for the nite!! (and yes we did that at the 2 month stage too)

I agree with the spa thing though, if you want to do something like that for her, I would get her a gift cert for a place near her that she can use maybe on a weekend where you arent able to see her....spend the whole day together...when dave and I do stuff like this our favorite thing to do is to find all the antique or junk shops in the area and spend loads of time in them finding something small and insignificant to buy to remind us of that particular trip.

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

maleficent

well fuck it then..

/me puts on her curmudgeon hat and goes off to skulk in the corner..

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Charlatan

I tend to agree with Mal on this. Take it easy on the poor woman. Don't over do it. Small and tasteful will always win out over grand and extravigant.

Also watch out for plans that are too time critical (i.e. massage appointments). She may be making plans that will spoil yours.

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ShaniFaye

WOMAN!!!! go ahead ignore that I agreed with the other part of what you said its ok

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

BigBen

I thought we were talking about "Vagina Day" for a second.


Seriously, Valentine's Day is a way for greeting card companies, florists and Choclatiers to get in on the payday of the Christmas rush.

Tell me this: Why Valentine's Day? Why not Robbie Burn's Day? Why not the 12th day of every month? Why do you feel the need for society to tell you to be romantic, and surprise your significant other?

Economics: The price of roses goes through the roof the week before Valentine's Day. Growers purposefully plant, fertilize and harvest to ensure that maximum supply occurs mid-February.

Why are you getting sucked into this? Restaurant reservations, Hotel accomodations, Spa appointments, anything romantic takes a stupid spike in mid-february.

Men compete with each other to prove their love to different women. Think about that for a second. Does that make intrinsic sense?

Women are brain-washed into believing that the only way you can tell your partner loves you is to count the number of traditionally romantic things on February 14.

Fuck that shit. I don't need anyone to tell me when to be romantic; when to spoil my love; when to do something spontaneous.

Might I suggest that you arrange for a romantic getaway for February 1 and March 1?

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3.141592654
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maleficent

Slow down there, big fella, not all of us are... some of us think it's a silly holiday and real love and affection should expressed every day... not just the day that hallmark tells us to

as you were...

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ShaniFaye

I 2nd mal.....I seriously question the intelligence of a man that will pay a 100% markup on things JUST cause its vday...I'd rather take that much money and have a really really good and fun trip a few weeks later.

but...not everyone thinks like us....I think its sweet he WANTS to do something for his girl when lots of guys dont. Who says he doesnt do things like that on the random day of the month anyway? He just seems to want to make this extra special for her.

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Charlatan

Don't question the guy... question the woman who expects it.

I'vd had friends lose relationships because they took a stand on valentine's day...

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Willravel

For last V Day (Veterans Day), I went and put the stars and stripes over my grandfathers grave and observed a moment of silence.

For Valentines Day: You should always be espically romantic. Screw Halmark. If you really want to observe Valentines Day, then celebrate it by getting your vows renewed. St. Valentine was supposedly put to death for marrying couples despite the Ceasars order. For those who aren't married, a day spa couldn't hurt.

Daniel_

how about you tell her she's dumped - that'll surprise her.

You can tell her it's a joke later - I'm sure she'll understand and learn to see the funny side - shouldn't take more than a few years.

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abaya

I think it's a great idea, personally... and hey, it's not really ON V-Day, is it guys?... he's planning the big event for February 25th. So go for it. Damn, I've never heard of any guy spending so much energy planning for romantic events this early in the game... are you sure you are doing this for her, or is it for you to get attention for doing romantic things?

My only worry is that she'll start expecting things like this from you on EVERY holiday... e.g. her birthday, Christmas, etc. Are you prepared to live up to your own high standard? Two months together is really just the beginning, and this event you are planning is huge... unless, of course, you plan to propose very soon.

I will say, though, that when I came back from Africa and Iceland after 2.5 months away from my bf (we had been together for over a year at that point), he surprised me with a hotel room, flowers, gifts, candles, wine... it was SOOOO cool, I was just awash in amazement at his planning. If we did that three times a year, though, I dunno... I think it's better when saved for very special occasions. Not to mention it costs a LOT for you to do all that!

P.S. Are you in the military?

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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
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Sultana

I pretty much agree with ya, BigBen. But I don't quite get this sentence...could you clarify?

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At night, the ice weasels come." -

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My goal? To fulfill my potential.

jusolson00

Thanks Abaya for the engourament and To answer a few questions and address some of the other reply's.. first off I'm not in the military, and I am not going to propose soon.. But we have talked about it... about the future and we both see ourselves with each other down the road.. but we both agree we want to give it a year or so then seriously look at marriage. I just really care about here and would like to do this for her. I do realize that I have to be carefull not to out do myself so early in the game.. This has crossed my mind so after some thinking.. I may tone it down a bit... just a bit. maybe just a massage for an hour at the spa place?... I could go all out with facials, manicures, ect... but maybe i'll save all that for another time down that long long road .
and as far as promoting the commericlization of V-day... Hell.. 3 roses on the 14th isnt going to break the budget and is pretty mild... and my whole surprise is on the 25.. a week and half after the fact.. so she'll never see it coming.. she'll just thank me for the flowers and think things are hunky dorey.

So how bout more on topic... what do you ladies like at the spa?... what do you think of just the massage at the spa??? I'll keep you update when i can and thanks for the opinions!!!

SirLance

Back to the original question....

Your plans are fine, but you should do something unique and personal. Write her a letter and tell her how you feel. Tell her why she's the greatest thing since bagged salad (I would have said sliced bread but I'm watching my carb intake). Write her a poem. My point is, do something that requires effort and a personal touch. Any asshole can book a hotel room.


Edit: Oh, PS. As ShaniFaye said, book the flowers now. Don't wait until the 13th.

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abaya

Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say "any asshole can book a hotel room," because I think it does take planning and foresight. It is a very nice thing to do for someone.

However, and I was just thinking about this today on my way home from work... I would take a handwritten love letter or poem over a material gift or fancy to-do, any day. There are so many opportunities to give actual gifts (birthday, Christmas, anniversary) but very rarely do people just sit down and write out how and why they love the other person.

I think that if anything, V-day is a great chance to limit the materialism and play up on the original idea of giving a "valentine" (a love letter, of sorts).

Just a thought. Of course, this doesn't apply if your gf thinks diamonds and manicures are a girl's best friend...

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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
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--Khalil Gibran

Siege

True. Somehow, loving them throughout the year is meaningless if the poor guy's wallet still has cash in it at the end of Valentine's day.

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cellophanedeity

If my love spent that much money on me for Valentine's Day, I would be quite angry with him, even if I did enjoy it immensely and was very thankful.

But, we're broke.

If you have the money and will to do something like this, by all means go for it, especially if you don't think she'll be creeped out by it. A good friend of mine did something similar for his lady love, (except it was in the fall) and apparently it was perfect.

jusolson00

Good advice... I have never had flowers delivered before so I will probally call a few days in advance to set that up. thanks for the tip!

guthmund

Hey! This corner's occupato, signora.


Yikes. Two months, eh? Well, I think it's a fine idea if you guys are both on the same page. That is to say if you're sure it won't freak her out, then, what the hell? Sounds fabulous.

As to the flower...are you sure you want to send roses? Does she have a favorite flower? At least, that way, it shows that you're listening (and more importantly, remembering) the quasi-important stuff.

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BigBen

What I am saying is that we are competing against each other, trying to compare our love with different women.

I look at it like kids on the playground that are saying "My dad can beat up your dad..." --- "I love my girlfriend/wife more than you love yours..."


How can you compare emotions? Society has set us up to consume more things, and I take offence when I am judged by my consumption habits.

My love != (insert consumable here)

People look at me funny when they ask the question "What did you get her for Valentine's Day?" and my response "Nothing, but I am going to get her something for March 8th."

Here is what I want you to do, jusolson00:

Take a paper bag. Brown paper.

Take some construction paper (different colours) and cut out little (or big) heart shapes. Write down something you like/love/get aroused by about your girlfriend.

Whenever you think about her, put a little heart in the bag. Make it a tinfoil heart. When she makes you smile, put a little pink heart in. When she does something nice for you, put a blue heart in.

You get where I am going with this, don't you? MAKE IT A SURPRISE. Don't let her find out. Keep it a secret. Give her the bag on the 14th of February. Tell her what you have been doing for the past three weeks. Let her see that you are not just buying a card off the rack.

How much does it cost? It costs time, energy, and thoughtfullness. Everything that makes a relationship work.


Wow, am I ever feeling sappy today.

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3.141592654
Hey, if you are impressed with my memorizing pi to 10 digits, you should see the size of my penis.

maleficent

not sappy at all -- that is one of the sweetest, thoughtful, most romantic things a person could do - and if a person who's receiving it, doesn't apprecaite it - well then they aren't worth the time that you spent... that is the gift that keeps on giving...

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Charlatan

Ben: When my wife and I were first dating, I found this heart shaped box in an antique store. I cut out the letters "L", "o", "V" and "E" from a stack of magazines I had lying around and made a big pile of slips of paper with the word LOVE on them.

I filled the box with the slips of paper and inserted a note into my "box of love". It sounds cheesy but it went over very well (extremely well). She still has the box.

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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
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maleficent

Ok - time for the american boys to start stepping up to the plate - the canuckistani boys are makin' y'all look bad...

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zkara

Agreed. It is a silly holiday, and I don't think it is so much the woman who expects to be presented with gifts, it is the pressure inflicted upon us by society. I hate it when I go back to work after my birthday/christmas/valentine and the first question I get asked is usually 'Sooo, what did your boyfriend give you?'

First of all, does that matter? Second of all, are we supposed to brag if it's an overtly nice gift, and what are we supposed to say if we didn't get a gift? There could be millions of reasons, but excuse me, I don't have the time to explain our situation. However, if the woman in question 'knew' she's gonna be asked silly, materialistic questions like this, she probably feels the pressure to 'expect' a gift, and quite possibly emanating such pressure onto the given special days within their relationship.

Pip

I'd be a little freaked out as well by the extravagant plan after only two months' relationship, but you know the lady better than any of us, so...
Anyways, my suggestion is a poem. Not some freeform schmuck, but one with rhymes and rythm. A sonnet. Because I've tried to write sonnets, and it's hard work. It's like digging trenches. And because if you give her a poem, it is hers to keep forever. Roses wither, chocolate gets eaten, but poetry lasts.

BigBen

You want a good one?

MEMORIZE a Shakespeare sonnet, and recite it to her by candlelight.
Probably the most famous of all Shakespeare's Sonnets (please, lets not get into a debate which one is best, I am just giving the poor guy some advice here), and you can impress your friends with your vast poetic range.

Do they make kids memorize poems in school anymore?

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3.141592654
Hey, if you are impressed with my memorizing pi to 10 digits, you should see the size of my penis.

maleficent

I honestly don't like poetry... but that one is beautiful... I'll take your billy and raise you Bobby Browning... (this poem my father recited to my mother on the occassion of their 30th anniversary - I swear it was the first time i ever saw my mother cry that I wasn't the cause

There are a few more stanzas but I can't do those from memory...

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Sultana

BigBen, that reminds me of the time when a friend of mine (who was working as a car mechanic at the time), at the garage recited to me what has become my favorite Shakespearean sonnet (#147). He wasn't even trying to woo me or anything, but it caught me so by surprise my knees actually grew weak, and my jaw dropped. Such beauty, in a greasy oil pit! I'll never forget that moment.

Mal - that is beautiful! And thanks to you, I actually have tears in my eyes here at work.
I hate it when that happens.

__________________
"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.

abaya

Ah, poetry... I was an English major as an undergrad, so I used to spend hours awash in sonnets and other poems. Very good stuff.

As I said on the parallel thread in the Ladies' Lounge, I wrote a sonnet once for a crush (best friend at the time, unfortunately male and also in love with another girl) and it took a TON of effort. I think I spent weeks on the damn thing. He really liked it, but it didn't help detract from his attention to that other girl! So much for romance.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Martian

I don't get all the malice towards Valentine's day. I like to compare it to Christmas or Easter; a Christian should show their faith throughout the year, but will take specific days to celebrate it or celebrate specific aspects of it. Relationships and Valentine's day or anniversaries work the same way, I reckon.

I tend to leave the expensive gifts and to-do's for Christmas or birthdays, however. For one girl, I once took a wicker basket and filled it with everything I could think of that represented us; there was a cd I made with music on it we enjoyed together, various ticket stubs to sporting events and shows we'd seen together, a pair of Tim Horton's cups (we met at a Tim's) and various other cheesy/romantic items. I topped it all of with a letter that expressed to the best of my ability what she meant to me. I made it a point to spend as little money on that as possible and it was probably the most well-received valentine's day gift I've ever given.

More recently, I went a more traditional route; I gave the last ex a very elegant necklace for Valentine's day; this was selected mostly because we hadn't been together for very long at that point and I didn't want to overdo it; that and I had just bought a car at the time, so didn't have a lot of money to spend (I think it cost me $40). Even here there was a method to my madness, though; I picked it out as something Audrey Hepburn would wear, knowing that she was one of this girl's idols.

Y'all don't even want to know what I had planned for this February. It's too cheesy for words.

On the specific plan in question here... well, it works. You're sort of asking the wrong people though. It doesn't matter what we think of it; the only important opinion is hers.

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SirLance

That's what I'm talking about! The personal touch. Something that takes real thought and effort shows you care way more than anything else you can do. I bet she has it to this day!

By the by, Mal, us American boys aren't without hope. This is the poem I wrote for my wife on our wedding day. I read it at the reception. Wasn't a dry eye in the house:

Suffice it to say, my first name rhymes with "Concur".

And let me tell ya, she loved it. She has a small book of the poems I've written for her, and she threatens to publish...

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Lead543

I think that if you decide to do a spa just do a massage or like one thing, I'm not sure what spas offer. The facials, manicures, etc are more fun when you're with your girlfriends whereas massages are more relaxing.

I think with the roses or with some part of the gift, pass along a love letter or poem. I think that it might be a nice, personal touch to your gift. I think your idea is good, esp. if she's romantic and likes surprises.

I wouldn't worry about doing too much this early on. Streak and I went to the Beach and the Stampede for our 6 month celebration but for our one year we went out for dinner with his family and went to a movie. There's no expectations for special days we're just happy to spend the time together.

Good luck with your "Operation Sunshine"

ShaniFaye

oh yes we do!!!

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

ruggerp11

Here is what I'm doing.

Julie is flying in on Friday during the day. I'm hoping to have half the day off so I can meet her at the airport and go directly up north. We are then going to my cabin. When we're at the cabin I'm going to cook and make her dinner. Then because shes a server I'm going to sit her down with a drink and serve HER. Totally cater to her because she does it for everyone else all th time.

I am also buying her some pretty underwear and donating money to a charity in her name.

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maleficent

Very thoughtful idea -cooking her dinner and such - ain't nuthin' sexier than a man who knows his way around a kitchen - even if he burns everything in site -- it's cute and endearing... but don't even try to fool us that the undies are for anyone but you

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dkocolin

I'm going the whole sentimental not functional route this year (our first vday together, been seeing each other since august)

im in target, trying to find something sweet that wont destroy her diet (right...) and wind up finding this hot cocoa/heart marshmallow/mug set which is neat... but im like hmm i need more

so i go over to the photo section and find this really cool 4 level frame (4 panes of glass about 1/2 an inch apart front to back... i guess like a shadow box?)

i also stop and grab some postit notes (she uses them like crazy, more on this in a moment) and ransom-note-looking letter stickers, and head for the checkout

stop by barnes and noble to get a copy of the latest 2600 magazine (unrelated to this plan), and see a book of world war I poems (she's fascinated by war) so I get that on impulse

so i make the background of the photo frame this awesome photo that i took a few months ago (http://www.flickr.com/photos/dkocoli...n/set-1349888/) since we live at the shore and had a lot of time on that beach during the summer. then i put in a couple scenic pics from when we went to Philly last month, some shots from our New Year's in NY, and some generic "hold the camera in front of us with one arm and smile" photos

then I used the ransom note letters to write our names down the sides and "love" across the top

for the post it pads, one is a "how do i love thee let me count the ways" pad, and its got something i love about her at the bottom of each page

im also going to do the standard coupon book (dinner on me, a backrub,etc) and a "things to try" (and i dont mean recipes) one. the rest im going to write random quotes, drawings, cute sayings, etc so she finds them randomly as she uses the post its

im bringing it all w/ me on Saturday to her place in NY when i go to stay the night (shes in vagina monologues on Sunday (which I'm going to) and I go to school at the opposite end of Jersey from NY) in a box that says "Do not open til feb 14" in the ransom stickers, plus a boquet of Shop Rite's finest happy-valentines-day/good-luck-talking-about-your-vagina-on-stage flowers (she said no ones ever given her flowers romantically before)

dlish

all this v-day bullsit does ticks me off

my cousin owns a florist, and i used to help her out a few days prior and on the day. mind you neither her nor her husband get any sleep two days leading up to v-day.

anyways..the way i see it, women like to be duped on v-day. the number of times guys went in ordered for 3, 4, 5 girls all at once is incredible. sorry to break it to you gals, but in reality..you shouldnt feel special, cos it may well be the case that your sharing your 'special day' with a few other women

if i didnt see it with my own eyes, i wouldnt believe it myself.. i just would like to see how these guys manage to see all the girls that night....scratches head...

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