If You Could Play Racquetball With God, Would You? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

CSflim · 10-24-2005, 10:45 AM

And more to the point, do you think he would let you win? You know, just because he is such a nice guy and wouldn't want to hurt your feelings.

BigBen · 10-24-2005, 11:45 AM

That's a great question...

Since I don't play racketball, I would have to make it something more personal.

Would I go hunting with God? Hell yes! (pun intended)

Me: Uh, hey God, we haven't seen any trophy bucks all day. Are you hiding them or communicating with them so that they stay away? Cause that's cheating, you know.

God: Yeah, I know. I chose this spot for a reason. Be patient, my child. And remember that 185 grains drop 12cm at 400m.

Me: I remember. Why do you keep bringing that up? I missed that one shot in '97 and you have to bug me about it forever? When will you let it go man? Don't you have more important things to worry about? Pass me that beer that you brought. That shit is tasty. What do you call it?

God: I haven't named it. I brewed it myself. I travel all over the world for the finest ingredients, and then spend my free time brewing.

Me: Free time? Sheesh, I thought you would be too busy. What did you bring for a rifle? I don't see yours lying around here.

God: No, I don't hunt. I put creatures on this world for a reason, and taking their life would be kind of paradoxical. I just like hanging out and enjoying nature. I like chatting with hunters, because they appreciate the hard work I have done. You should see those stuffy folks in the big cities; they don't understand what it is like to be out here.

Me: I hear you. This is fucking boring though. You said this was a good spot, and all I have seen is a nice landscape and my breath for the past four hours. Lets go over the ridge and see if there is a herd to the south...

God: No, my child. Wait a moment longer.

(Suddenly, the most perfect and majestic 12 point buck crashes out of the bushes at 400m, and presents a beautiful side view)

Me: HOLY SHIT! (taking aim) (Four gunshots in rapid succession)

(God laughing): I think you missed. You should have aimed lower.

Me: That's it, I am never hunting with you again.

God: What if I bring the beer?

Me: Oh, yeah... I forgot about that. Can you just make it so that the shots are at 100m?

God: That's not really hunting then, is it?

politicophile · 10-24-2005, 12:11 PM

I'm not sure what it would mean to play a sport with an omnipotent entity. If he attempts to hit the ball just out of your reach, it will happen. If he attempts to hit the ball so fast that you can't even see it, it will happen. If he attempts to win, it will happen.

Thus, the game would basically be one where God would decide how long it took him to win (or lose, conceivably). That doesn't sound like a sport to me.

StanT · 10-24-2005, 01:26 PM

Skiing with god might be fun. Guaranteed great conditions and no lift lines. Heck, he can show me up all day long as long as he provided chest deep powder.

martinguerre · 10-24-2005, 01:39 PM

bigben...that was damn hilarious. "that wouldn't really be hunting, then..."

rsl12 · 10-25-2005, 06:30 AM

Well, the bigger question is, why would God want to play raquetball in the 1st place? Here are the reasons most people engage in sports, and why they would not be relevant to God.

1. To keep in shape. Clearly it's not a problem for God.

2. To improve ones ability at the sport. Also not a problem for God.

3. For the drama and excitement. This sounds good, but it's not very dramatic or exciting for an omnipotent/omniscient God, who can not only determine whether He wins or throws the game, but also knows beforehand who will win and who will lose due to his omniscience.

4. As a social pastime. Well, here's one that sort of makes sense. God wants to just shoot the breeze with me, and we're playing raquetball as sort of an excuse to get together. But I feel sorry for God, since clearly raquetball has no appeal to Him other than my company, so I would suggest we go to a house party instead, so he can catch up with a lot more people than just myself.

WillyPete · 10-26-2005, 10:47 AM

I'd rather play raquetball with him than have him turn into a swan to seduce my wife.

(See: Zeus)

ganon · 10-26-2005, 02:21 PM

I hang with God all the time. But yeah, I'd hit it. (the raquetball, anyhow)

Jinn · 10-26-2005, 04:08 PM

Of course. You always learn playing against someone better than you, but as your relative skill difference decreases, your learning decreases. Playing against the God of the sport would mean my learning would be increible.. I could beat <insert pro raquetaball player here> in like two hours of playing with God. Not to mention he'd be an incredible teacher, knowing every word in the english language and having the best communication skills in the world.

ganon · 10-27-2005, 07:45 AM

that whole swan trick wouldn't work on my wife. I don't think she'd want to get nailed by a swan.

Jakes · 10-27-2005, 11:49 AM

if god had a blog would he?

xepherys · 11-09-2005, 09:25 AM

No, I'd get my ass handed to me by a mere mortal... Why subject myself to such a whoopin'?

frogza · 11-09-2005, 01:05 PM

I'd love to, but I think I'd spend more time asking questions than playing.

Furlicker · 11-14-2005, 02:33 PM

Hey guys... God wants me to play raquetball with him tonight, we have a court booked for 6pm - but I don't have a raquet! Can anyone lend me one please?

Willravel · 11-14-2005, 02:55 PM

I'd play him at raquetball if he chose the sport or activity. I'm not a superb player, but I'd give it my all. I'd probably ask God if he could turn the raquetball into wine and he'd shut me out for it.

I'd love to play God at the Game of Life. Somehow that seems appropriate.

guthmund · 12-01-2005, 07:54 AM

I dont' think I'd want to play 'God' at anything competitive... maybe it's just me, but he seems like quite the sore loser.

10-24-2005, 10:45 AM	#1 (permalink)
CSflim Sky Piercer Location: Ireland	If You Could Play Racquetball With God, Would You? And more to the point, do you think he would let you win? You know, just because he is such a nice guy and wouldn't want to hurt your feelings. __________________

10-24-2005, 11:45 AM	#2 (permalink)
BigBen Comedian Location: Use the search button	That's a great question... Since I don't play racketball, I would have to make it something more personal. Would I go hunting with God? Hell yes! (pun intended) Me: Uh, hey God, we haven't seen any trophy bucks all day. Are you hiding them or communicating with them so that they stay away? Cause that's cheating, you know. God: Yeah, I know. I chose this spot for a reason. Be patient, my child. And remember that 185 grains drop 12cm at 400m. Me: I remember. Why do you keep bringing that up? I missed that one shot in '97 and you have to bug me about it forever? When will you let it go man? Don't you have more important things to worry about? Pass me that beer that you brought. That shit is tasty. What do you call it? God: I haven't named it. I brewed it myself. I travel all over the world for the finest ingredients, and then spend my free time brewing. Me: Free time? Sheesh, I thought you would be too busy. What did you bring for a rifle? I don't see yours lying around here. God: No, I don't hunt. I put creatures on this world for a reason, and taking their life would be kind of paradoxical. I just like hanging out and enjoying nature. I like chatting with hunters, because they appreciate the hard work I have done. You should see those stuffy folks in the big cities; they don't understand what it is like to be out here. Me: I hear you. This is fucking boring though. You said this was a good spot, and all I have seen is a nice landscape and my breath for the past four hours. Lets go over the ridge and see if there is a herd to the south... God: No, my child. Wait a moment longer. (Suddenly, the most perfect and majestic 12 point buck crashes out of the bushes at 400m, and presents a beautiful side view) Me: HOLY SHIT! (taking aim) (Four gunshots in rapid succession) (God laughing): I think you missed. You should have aimed lower. Me: That's it, I am never hunting with you again. God: What if I bring the beer? Me: Oh, yeah... I forgot about that. Can you just make it so that the shots are at 100m? God: That's not really hunting then, is it? __________________ 3.141592654 Hey, if you are impressed with my memorizing pi to 10 digits, you should see the size of my penis.

10-24-2005, 12:11 PM	#3 (permalink)
politicophile Addict	I'm not sure what it would mean to play a sport with an omnipotent entity. If he attempts to hit the ball just out of your reach, it will happen. If he attempts to hit the ball so fast that you can't even see it, it will happen. If he attempts to win, it will happen. Thus, the game would basically be one where God would decide how long it took him to win (or lose, conceivably). That doesn't sound like a sport to me. __________________ The peculiar evil of silencing the expression of an opinion is, that it is robbing the human race; posterity as well as the existing generation; those who dissent from the opinion, still more than those who hold it. If the opinion is right, they are deprived of the opportunity of exchanging error for truth: if wrong, they lose, what is almost as great a benefit, the clearer perception and livelier impression of truth, produced by its collision with error. ~John Stuart Mill, On Liberty

10-24-2005, 01:26 PM	#4 (permalink)
StanT © Location: Colorado	Skiing with god might be fun. Guaranteed great conditions and no lift lines. Heck, he can show me up all day long as long as he provided chest deep powder. Last edited by StanT; 10-24-2005 at 01:45 PM..

10-24-2005, 01:39 PM	#5 (permalink)
martinguerre whosoever Location: New England	bigben...that was damn hilarious. "that wouldn't really be hunting, then..." __________________ For God so loved creation, that God sent God's only Son that whosoever believed should not perish, but have everlasting life. -John 3:16

10-25-2005, 06:30 AM	#6 (permalink)
rsl12 On the lam Location: northern va	Well, the bigger question is, why would God want to play raquetball in the 1st place? Here are the reasons most people engage in sports, and why they would not be relevant to God. 1. To keep in shape. Clearly it's not a problem for God. 2. To improve ones ability at the sport. Also not a problem for God. 3. For the drama and excitement. This sounds good, but it's not very dramatic or exciting for an omnipotent/omniscient God, who can not only determine whether He wins or throws the game, but also knows beforehand who will win and who will lose due to his omniscience. 4. As a social pastime. Well, here's one that sort of makes sense. God wants to just shoot the breeze with me, and we're playing raquetball as sort of an excuse to get together. But I feel sorry for God, since clearly raquetball has no appeal to Him other than my company, so I would suggest we go to a house party instead, so he can catch up with a lot more people than just myself. __________________ oh baby oh baby, i like gravy.

10-26-2005, 10:47 AM	#7 (permalink)
WillyPete Addict	I'd rather play raquetball with him than have him turn into a swan to seduce my wife. (See: Zeus)

10-26-2005, 02:21 PM	#8 (permalink)
ganon Insane Location: in my head	I hang with God all the time. But yeah, I'd hit it. (the raquetball, anyhow) __________________ "My give up, my give up." - Jar Jar Binks

10-26-2005, 04:08 PM	#9 (permalink)
Jinn Lover - Protector - Teacher Location: Seattle, WA	Of course. You always learn playing against someone better than you, but as your relative skill difference decreases, your learning decreases. Playing against the God of the sport would mean my learning would be increible.. I could beat <insert pro raquetaball player here> in like two hours of playing with God. Not to mention he'd be an incredible teacher, knowing every word in the english language and having the best communication skills in the world. __________________ "I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel

10-27-2005, 07:45 AM	#10 (permalink)
ganon Insane Location: in my head	that whole swan trick wouldn't work on my wife. I don't think she'd want to get nailed by a swan. __________________ "My give up, my give up." - Jar Jar Binks

10-27-2005, 11:49 AM	#11 (permalink)
Jakes Tilted	if god had a blog would he? __________________ I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day. Dean Martin I like my jeep to be like my girl, topless and dirty. me i guess

11-09-2005, 09:25 AM	#12 (permalink)
xepherys <3 TFP Location: 17TLH2445607250	No, I'd get my ass handed to me by a mere mortal... Why subject myself to such a whoopin'?

11-09-2005, 01:05 PM	#13 (permalink)
frogza Registered User Location: Right Here	I'd love to, but I think I'd spend more time asking questions than playing.

11-14-2005, 02:33 PM	#14 (permalink)
Furlicker Upright Location: Phoenix, AZ	Hey guys... God wants me to play raquetball with him tonight, we have a court booked for 6pm - but I don't have a raquet! Can anyone lend me one please?

11-14-2005, 02:55 PM	#15 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	I'd play him at raquetball if he chose the sport or activity. I'm not a superb player, but I'd give it my all. I'd probably ask God if he could turn the raquetball into wine and he'd shut me out for it. I'd love to play God at the Game of Life. Somehow that seems appropriate.

12-01-2005, 07:54 AM	#16 (permalink)
guthmund big damn hero	I dont' think I'd want to play 'God' at anything competitive... maybe it's just me, but he seems like quite the sore loser. __________________ No signature. None. Seriously.