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Old 07-12-2004, 09:18 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Location: Connecticut
baby on the doorstep

My brother found a newborn on his doorstep Saturday morning at 3 AM. He's a dad of 3 and a lawyer who helps anybody who walks through his doors. He was working late, and found the child on the steps outside (55 degrees) wrapped in a blanket, with a hat and footies, as he came home and was turning off the lights.

Can you imagine? Either leaving a baby, or finding one like that? He and his wife called the authorities, of course, and the little girl was a little chilled and a little blue, but otherwise all right. She was 4 pounds 9 ounces. The police have looked for 2 days for the mom, but they think the kid was born in a car between midnight and 3 AM Saturday AM, and that's all they know.

My brother is grateful, scared, confused, angry, and all the other emotions one can only imagine. He and his wife would love to raise the child, but that is unlikely the way this state handles cases like this. he and his wife believe (as I do) that the mother intended Andy and Erica to raise the baby.

I keep thinking of the first day or two of the lives of both of my sons. I really do shake, thinking of either of them being left somewhere like that.

(Next day)

Now I call his office, and the secretaries tell me that Inside Edition and the like have been calling for two days to get him on TV. All kinds of people stop at his office to talk about it, and he's worried that someone might show up at his house as well
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Last edited by meembo; 07-13-2004 at 07:54 AM..
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Old 07-13-2004, 12:56 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Wow!

I really wonder what is going through the mothers head when she abandons a child. There are so many other options...its comfortings to hear that the little one ended up with someone who obviously cares.
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Old 07-13-2004, 01:27 PM   #3 (permalink)
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There would be serious concerns for the physical and emotional welfare of the mother, I would imagine. She would be needing post natal care, and if she has given birth in car and abandoned her baby, she would not be seeking the assistance she needs.

I cannot fathom how one could do that, but there is obviously more to this story, and my sympathy is with the mother of the child. But it sounds like your brother and family are being put through the emotional wringer as well.
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Old 07-13-2004, 02:40 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Yeah, I don't get the abandonment thing either. Give the baby up properly via adoption agencies - the baby will go to a home where it will be loved, and the risk is non-existant. This child could easily have died in the situatio described. If they find the parents, charge them with child endangerment and send 'em to jail.
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Old 07-13-2004, 02:49 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Timing is everything...

Your brother was certainly in the right place at the right time.

Had he gotten in an hour earlier, or she left the baby an hour later, it'd be a completely different story.
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Old 07-13-2004, 03:17 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by highthief
If they find the parents
Parent. The "biological father" has likely been long gone since conception.

This is actually a *Happy Ending* for the baby, who wasn't raised by a single mother clearly not equipped for the job, or worse yet, died from exposure that night.
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Old 07-13-2004, 04:23 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Peetster
Parent. The "biological father" has likely been long gone since conception.

This is actually a *Happy Ending* for the baby, who wasn't raised by a single mother clearly not equipped for the job, or worse yet, died from exposure that night.
We don't know that, hence the use of the word parents. While I agree it tends to be more likely that it is a single mom, that's not neccesarily the case.
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Old 07-14-2004, 12:03 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I can only imagine the emotions but I think I would feel the same. The overwhelming empathy for a child left in that position, I would want to be the caregiver at that point as well, to guarantee that the child met a greater upbringing than at it had begun with.

No matter what the outcome, the child has been left in a better position, but your brother has been scarred. I'm not sure what to say other than that. Your brother can sleep knowing that himself, or whoever ends up the caregiver, can ensure that this child will see a better life than the one he or she was born into.

But God knows, were I in your brother's shoes, I would kill to become the caregiver. I can only imagine the struggle he is going through.
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Old 07-15-2004, 05:45 PM   #9 (permalink)
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The baby is adopted now. The state (DCF in Connecticut) made the adoption official with another, pre-approved family yesterday (Wednesday). It's over for my brother -- at least the legal part. He has been treated poorly, and people on the radio started taking cheap shots at his family and his intentions. No Good Deed Goes Unpunished.
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Old 07-15-2004, 05:47 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Location: Ontario, Canada
Quote:
Originally posted by meembo
The baby is adopted now. The state (DCF in Connecticut) made the adoption official with another, pre-approved family yesterday (Wednesday). It's over for my brother -- at least the legal part. He has been treated poorly, and people on the radio started taking cheap shots at his family and his intentions. No Good Deed Goes Unpunished.

Why are people treating him so bad? Sounds like he did the right thing and all...
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Old 07-15-2004, 06:20 PM   #11 (permalink)
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They treat him badly because somebody always questions somebody's motivations without understanding the person. Most people I talk to think it's natural that he and his wife would have a shot at becoming the child's parents, but it's the one dipshit on the radio or TV that wounds innocent peoiple trying to do the right thing. It's important to understand that the state has never had any plan at all for dealing with decent people like my brother -- they generally take kids from assholes and try to put them in a better place. This time they took a kid from the safest, best place she will likely ever be in her life. Sad
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Old 07-15-2004, 07:43 PM   #12 (permalink)
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That's sad. I'm sorry for your brother, meembo. Bless he and his wife.
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Old 08-03-2004, 09:36 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by flamingpeach
Wow!

I really wonder what is going through the mothers head when she abandons a child. There are so many other options...its comfortings to hear that the little one ended up with someone who obviously cares.
At least they tried to give the child to people who they know would be good parents.
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