Xiangsu

Your on your honeymoon and your wife wants to go scuba diving. Sounds nice, but you get sea sick easily, she doesn't want to go without you but you tell her to anyway. You leave after a few hours you come back and the boats there but you don't see her. You go on the ship and you find your new wife having sex with the scuba instructor. They still haven't noticed you standing there. So your options are open, if you so choose there is a harpoon device near the bed which could easily pierce through the both of them, but that choice I leave up to you.

(on a side note this was inspired/stolen from the movie Along Came Polly)


What do you do?

choskins

You slowly back away from the boat, buy a nice box of Cuban cigars, get some tropical tail for the remainder of your "vacation", head home, call a lawyer, and rent your favorite Ben Stiller movie.

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- Sigmund Freud

Moobie

Rock on.

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Obscenity is the crutch of inarticulate motherfuckers.

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KellyC

Take pictures, videos even, just document the damn thing. Use it as blackmail or an excuse everytime I screw up or want her to do something.

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Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe?
Me: Shit happens.

MSD

If I managed to screw up badly enough that I married someone who was goign to cheat on me, the flaming remains of her luggage would land at her feet as she walked under the hotel room window.

John Henry

If I managed to screw up badly enough that I married someone who was going to cheat on me, the flaming remains of her feet would land on her luggage as she fell out of the hotel room window.

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"No one was behaving from very Buddhist motives. Then, thought Pigsy, he was hardly a Buddha, nor was he a monkey. Presently, he was a pig spirit changed into a little girl pretending to be a little boy to be offered to a water monster. It was all very simple to a pig spirit."

Stare At The Sun

I'd hope i had a camera, take a picture, sue the bitch for all she was worth, and then cry myself to sleep.

TawG

considering im into really crazy women i would join em

oktjabr

Can you sue people for cheating?

I'd probably do what choskins suggested.

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-G.O.

analog

I believe I will go with my fellow pyro's answer.

roadkill

I like a combination of the pyros and the take a picture or movie, and basically make her rember for the rest of her life.... muahhahahah

choskins

Not anymore. Most states used to have a cause of action for "alienation of affection", where you could sue the third party who was cheating with your spouse. However, those causes no longer exist.

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"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."
- Sigmund Freud

hannukah harry

but then when you divorce her, she could say she did it after you slept with another woman there. you'd need to be able to document prove that the real timeline is how it was, rather than hers.

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shabbat shalom, mother fucker! - the hebrew hammer

apeman

1) pick up harpoon device
2) make em walk the plank
3) take boat to south america
4) sell boat
5) get very, very drunk
6) find another woman

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pain is inevitable but misery is optional - stick a geranium in your hat and be happy

raeanna74

Document like this - Get a polaroid of her screwing around. Have the new girl hold the polaroid and take a pic of her. Easy as pie. THEN sleep with the girl.

Seriously - take the pic and get the hell home. Have the papers ready to serve her the moment she arrives home. Gives you time to start moving her out of the house. Get a storage unit to put all her stuff and just forget her.

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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

Bentley Little

Then post it on the internet.

Quadraton

I'd take the harpoon, spear them both right through the hearts a la Friday the 13th, Part II, and sink them with the boat to the bottom of the sea.

Not really, but like anyone's going to admit to wanting to kill their spouse in an open forum.

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"A witty saying proves nothing"
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thespian86

Honestly, I'd either freak out on Claude (who is teaching the scuba... because we are new to zee island) or just leave and be sad. But if I could choose what to do?

The tropical tail sounds good choskins No cigars but maybe a nice coffee with the "tail". Then back to the hotel.... To talk obviously

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EX: Whats new?
ME: I officially love coffee more then you now.
EX: uh...
ME: So, not much.

Scheme

I would probably smack the guy around the head then leave straight after

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Sitting at home, what am I doing?
Boy waitng by the phone
Alone, jealous and stoned

Flyguy

I'm with getting some tropical ass. Ther serving the "wife" with papers as soon as she gets home. I also like taking a pic of the girl holding the evidence.

whocarz

Harpoon up the ass for scuba boy, then I'd show that bitch what a real man is like hehe.

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If there exists anything mightier than destiny, then it is the courage to face destiny unflinchingly. -Geibel

Despise not death, but welcome it, for nature wills it like all else. -Marcus Aurelius

Come on, you sons of bitches! Do you want to live forever? -GySgt. Daniel J. "Dan" Daly

repeater

I like everyone's answers, well at least most of them. My favorite is buring the luggage. I wish I could think I'd do something cool like that but I know that I'd probably just end up crying or something equally pathetic. I'd probably be really passive aggressive for the rest of my life though if that makes me sound any cooler. nope.. it doesn't

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When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
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skullfunk

So you shoot them both and are arrested the next day because the case is so obvious to the police. I am all for revenge but there is no human right to take the life of another person, and this is an exceptionally bad idea, because you are going to get caught.

For example, imagine the most cold-blooded criminal you can (I'll abstain because I don't want to reveal how sick my mind can be). Would that person, who obviously has no respect for life, be better off, in his terms, being killed by the government and dying believing that this is "justice" so he can die with a clear conscience,? Or do you think that it would be better to send him to jail for sixty years of the same routine day in and day out, without even the opportunity to express his evil side? I think the latter would affect him more.

So, what would I do? I'd find the skankiest whore on the island that I could, I'd pay her to, uhh, spread her STDs all over my exwife's underwear, then I'd get some island lovin'.

Incidentally, did you ever stop to think about the fact that some people on this planet who are so irritating/evil/worthless/etc. that they are alive only because there is a law that says they should not be killed? And maybe you are one of them?

NotMinus

I think I would just walk up to them and say,
"I don't ever want to see you agian"

I would then proceed to go home, clean house of her things and file for divorce.

Master_Shake

You could still end up paying spousal or child support even after she cheated on you! Just another in a long line of reasons not to get married in the first place.

Xell101

Fire solves everything, and in this case, forunetly not much fire is needed. A very localized, one man, Pyropalooza would be in order.

sexymama

Join in, have fun -- then divorce her (him) as trust is completely broken. (Unless, of course, we agreed on an open relationship prior to marriage.)

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If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god

It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

JohnnyRoyale

Get a camera, film her ass,then threaten her with it if she ever mouths off to you.

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I'm gonna be rich and famous, as soon I invent a device that lets you stab people in the face over the internet.

cj2112

quietly remove the spark plugs from the engine, and set the boat adrift, then go home pack her stuff and file for divorce.

ManWithAPlan

I would pry them apart, slice open the guy's stomach and strangle her with his intestines, then brutally club him with my shoe until he died.

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In the end we are but wisps

tiberry

Right On!!!

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Chingal0

I was going to say something along those lines just for fun. You are a sick, sick man...

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"Eventually I became too sexy for my gym membership fee."