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Old 07-02-2004, 07:07 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Hypothetical question

Your on your honeymoon and your wife wants to go scuba diving. Sounds nice, but you get sea sick easily, she doesn't want to go without you but you tell her to anyway. You leave after a few hours you come back and the boats there but you don't see her. You go on the ship and you find your new wife having sex with the scuba instructor. They still haven't noticed you standing there. So your options are open, if you so choose there is a harpoon device near the bed which could easily pierce through the both of them, but that choice I leave up to you.

(on a side note this was inspired/stolen from the movie Along Came Polly)


What do you do?
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Old 07-02-2004, 07:10 PM   #2 (permalink)
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You slowly back away from the boat, buy a nice box of Cuban cigars, get some tropical tail for the remainder of your "vacation", head home, call a lawyer, and rent your favorite Ben Stiller movie.
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Old 07-02-2004, 08:03 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by choskins
You slowly back away from the boat, buy a nice box of Cuban cigars, get some tropical tail for the remainder of your "vacation", head home, call a lawyer, and rent your favorite Ben Stiller movie.
Rock on.
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Old 07-02-2004, 08:57 PM   #4 (permalink)
Comment or else!!
 
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Take pictures, videos even, just document the damn thing. Use it as blackmail or an excuse everytime I screw up or want her to do something.
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Old 07-02-2004, 10:52 PM   #5 (permalink)
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If I managed to screw up badly enough that I married someone who was goign to cheat on me, the flaming remains of her luggage would land at her feet as she walked under the hotel room window.
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Old 07-03-2004, 12:25 AM   #6 (permalink)
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If I managed to screw up badly enough that I married someone who was going to cheat on me, the flaming remains of her feet would land on her luggage as she fell out of the hotel room window.
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Old 07-03-2004, 01:07 AM   #7 (permalink)
Eh?
 
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I'd hope i had a camera, take a picture, sue the bitch for all she was worth, and then cry myself to sleep.
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Old 07-03-2004, 03:56 AM   #8 (permalink)
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considering im into really crazy women i would join em
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Old 07-03-2004, 03:14 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Stare At The Sun
I'd hope i had a camera, take a picture, sue the bitch for all she was worth, and then cry myself to sleep.
Can you sue people for cheating?

I'd probably do what choskins suggested.
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Old 07-03-2004, 11:23 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by MrSelfDestruct
If I managed to screw up badly enough that I married someone who was goign to cheat on me, the flaming remains of her luggage would land at her feet as she walked under the hotel room window.
I believe I will go with my fellow pyro's answer.
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Old 07-03-2004, 11:32 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I like a combination of the pyros and the take a picture or movie, and basically make her rember for the rest of her life.... muahhahahah
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Old 07-04-2004, 07:36 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by oktjabr
Can you sue people for cheating?
Not anymore. Most states used to have a cause of action for "alienation of affection", where you could sue the third party who was cheating with your spouse. However, those causes no longer exist.
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Old 07-05-2004, 12:44 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by choskins
You slowly back away from the boat, buy a nice box of Cuban cigars, get some tropical tail for the remainder of your "vacation", head home, call a lawyer, and rent your favorite Ben Stiller movie.
but then when you divorce her, she could say she did it after you slept with another woman there. you'd need to be able to document prove that the real timeline is how it was, rather than hers.
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Old 07-05-2004, 03:28 AM   #14 (permalink)
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1) pick up harpoon device
2) make em walk the plank
3) take boat to south america
4) sell boat
5) get very, very drunk
6) find another woman
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Old 07-05-2004, 04:20 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by hannukah harry
but then when you divorce her, she could say she did it after you slept with another woman there. you'd need to be able to document prove that the real timeline is how it was, rather than hers.
Document like this - Get a polaroid of her screwing around. Have the new girl hold the polaroid and take a pic of her. Easy as pie. THEN sleep with the girl.

Seriously - take the pic and get the hell home. Have the papers ready to serve her the moment she arrives home. Gives you time to start moving her out of the house. Get a storage unit to put all her stuff and just forget her.
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Old 07-07-2004, 09:38 AM   #16 (permalink)
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revenge is sweet

Quote:
Originally posted by KellyC
Take pictures, videos even, just document the damn thing. Use it as blackmail or an excuse everytime I screw up or want her to do something.

Then post it on the internet.
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Old 07-07-2004, 11:37 AM   #17 (permalink)
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I'd take the harpoon, spear them both right through the hearts a la Friday the 13th, Part II, and sink them with the boat to the bottom of the sea.

Not really, but like anyone's going to admit to wanting to kill their spouse in an open forum.
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Old 07-08-2004, 05:31 AM   #18 (permalink)
change is hard.
 
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Location: the green room.
Honestly, I'd either freak out on Claude (who is teaching the scuba... because we are new to zee island) or just leave and be sad. But if I could choose what to do?

The tropical tail sounds good choskins No cigars but maybe a nice coffee with the "tail". Then back to the hotel.... To talk obviously
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Old 07-08-2004, 06:35 AM   #19 (permalink)
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I would probably smack the guy around the head then leave straight after
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Old 07-08-2004, 09:48 PM   #20 (permalink)
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I'm with getting some tropical ass. Ther serving the "wife" with papers as soon as she gets home. I also like taking a pic of the girl holding the evidence.
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Old 07-09-2004, 12:43 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Harpoon up the ass for scuba boy, then I'd show that bitch what a real man is like hehe.
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Old 07-11-2004, 02:48 PM   #22 (permalink)
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I like everyone's answers, well at least most of them. My favorite is buring the luggage. I wish I could think I'd do something cool like that but I know that I'd probably just end up crying or something equally pathetic. I'd probably be really passive aggressive for the rest of my life though if that makes me sound any cooler. nope.. it doesn't
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Old 07-11-2004, 07:08 PM   #23 (permalink)
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So you shoot them both and are arrested the next day because the case is so obvious to the police. I am all for revenge but there is no human right to take the life of another person, and this is an exceptionally bad idea, because you are going to get caught.

For example, imagine the most cold-blooded criminal you can (I'll abstain because I don't want to reveal how sick my mind can be). Would that person, who obviously has no respect for life, be better off, in his terms, being killed by the government and dying believing that this is "justice" so he can die with a clear conscience,? Or do you think that it would be better to send him to jail for sixty years of the same routine day in and day out, without even the opportunity to express his evil side? I think the latter would affect him more.

So, what would I do? I'd find the skankiest whore on the island that I could, I'd pay her to, uhh, spread her STDs all over my exwife's underwear, then I'd get some island lovin'.

Incidentally, did you ever stop to think about the fact that some people on this planet who are so irritating/evil/worthless/etc. that they are alive only because there is a law that says they should not be killed? And maybe you are one of them?
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Old 07-12-2004, 09:28 PM   #24 (permalink)
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I think I would just walk up to them and say,
"I don't ever want to see you agian"

I would then proceed to go home, clean house of her things and file for divorce.
 
Old 07-13-2004, 10:27 AM   #25 (permalink)
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Be careful about the divorce option...

You could still end up paying spousal or child support even after she cheated on you! Just another in a long line of reasons not to get married in the first place.
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Old 07-13-2004, 10:48 AM   #26 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by analog
I believe I will go with my fellow pyro's answer.
Fire solves everything, and in this case, forunetly not much fire is needed. A very localized, one man, Pyropalooza would be in order.
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Old 07-13-2004, 11:22 AM   #27 (permalink)
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Join in, have fun -- then divorce her (him) as trust is completely broken. (Unless, of course, we agreed on an open relationship prior to marriage.)
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Old 07-14-2004, 06:21 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Get a camera, film her ass,then threaten her with it if she ever mouths off to you.
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Old 07-14-2004, 06:41 PM   #29 (permalink)
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quietly remove the spark plugs from the engine, and set the boat adrift, then go home pack her stuff and file for divorce.
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Old 07-17-2004, 09:59 AM   #30 (permalink)
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I would pry them apart, slice open the guy's stomach and strangle her with his intestines, then brutally club him with my shoe until he died.
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Old 07-23-2004, 06:18 AM   #31 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by TawG
considering im into really crazy women i would join em
Right On!!!
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Old 07-28-2004, 12:19 AM   #32 (permalink)
Something like that..
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by ManWithAPlan
I would pry them apart, slice open the guy's stomach and strangle her with his intestines, then brutally club him with my shoe until he died.
I was going to say something along those lines just for fun. You are a sick, sick man...
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