PDOUBLEOP

Long story...I have custody of one son. My ex-wife has custody of our other son. We both live in Ohio. She's a complete nutjob and has a new man every 6 months. The flavor of the month lives about 60-70 miles away in Kentucky. My son told me that they were planning on moving in with him. She also has two other children with another guy from Ohio that she hooked up with after me. I think they share custody of them. I definitely don't want her to take my son further away. I have been trying to get custody of both for several years and last year they gave me one of them. Does anyone know what my position is legally? Either way, I need some advice. Thanks

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Hard8s

Check your divorce papers and your custody papers. There might be a clause where she can not move with out your permission. It also works the other way around.

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If ignorance is bliss, then wipe this smile off my face!

:::OshnSoul:::

It's so difficult to give advice, because it really ought to be up to the children where they want to be. It's hard enough on them as it is having their parents split up, but to be miles and miles away from each other can cause more heartache, confusion, etc. If the parents could put the children's opinions/feelings first, that's what matters- to have your children be as happy as possible.

PDOUBLEOP

The children are 7 and 9. I don't think they need the responsibility of choosing yet.

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Averett

Talk to your ex-wife about it. Chances are your son might have mis-heard what is going on.

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Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

PDOUBLEOP

I thought that he might be mistaken at first but he went into detail about the neighborhood, the realtor and other specific info. I'll be calling her tonight but she never answers my calls.

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Bill O'Rights

Definately check out your papers. There are frequently clauses regarding moving children out of state. Once she's gone, though, it's gonna be hell to get them back. States frequently get pretty pissy with one another regarding jurisdiction and whatnot. I'd check those papers...then check with the attorney that drew them.

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"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

:::OshnSoul:::

ya, but if their feelings aren't ignored and taken first priority, then they will be more happy- choices (for anyone) aren't easy, but not letting them share their feelings, ideas, and needs can lead to more pain.

sexymama

Don't just check your divorce papers, look into local law. I know that I had to have my ex's permission to move the children more than 60 miles away.

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If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god

It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

PDOUBLEOP

I asked her about it the other day, she denied it. She said that her boyfriend was getting a new house but she wasn't moving there. I don't really believe her because my son that lives with her still thinks they're moving and other things point to it. I just hate to spend all the money retaining an attorney if I don't need to. Last time it cost me $2500 up front.

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onetime2

Consultation is free however. Set up an appointment, bring your papers and see what the lawyer says the options are.

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Strive to be more curious than ignorant.

meembo

get the attorney!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what would the regret cost?

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cas305

Do whatever you need, to be able to sleep at night. But I have a uncle who decide it was not the right time to take the battle on and let them move. BIG MISTAKE! He has not been able to see the kids for a long time now and still is forking out money because the some BS laws where she moved. I don't know the whole story but I don't think I wouldn't take a chance.

meembo

Some are free -- many are certainly not. I paid $250 for mine, but I quickly forgot the charge when I saw the results

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Captain Nemo

More than likely, she would need your consent to move out of state (at least that is the law in my parts)

wpoohbear

what is the age of the child you have?
I think that a family law judge would ask the children in private which parent the child whishes to go. But I beleive it is ultimitly up to the judge.

skier

it's been some time since this thread was started. Do we have a followup? I'd like to hear how this turned out.

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"Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim

PDOUBLEOP

So far, nothing has happened. She hasn't moved or made any changes that I know of. I'm waiting to see what's going to happen.

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Peetster

Inaction is the worst choice available. Talk to a lawyer to see what your options are. If you wait for her to act, it may then be too late.

PDOUBLEOP

I've already spoken with an attorney. He said that she needs the courts permission to relocate my son. If she moves out of state, she can be charged with kidnapping and lose custody.

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Glava

Maybe the kid didn't know and was just relaying something that he heard and misunderstood.

ronan

"If the parents could put the children's opinions/feelings first, that's what matters- to have your children be as happy as possible."

i don't really agree... the children can make the wrong decision.. they can be influenced easily... they may even choose a worse life because she offers them bright and shiny new things...

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jdubz

That really sux man, wish you luck

PDOUBLEOP

To wrap this up...I think she realized what she was getting herself into. She backed off the move thing and actually broke up with the boyfriend that she was moving in with. I don't know if it's better or worse but she moved back in with her ex husband (not me). That'll last for at least a few weeks.

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PDOUBLEOP

revive the old thread....The psychopath re-broke-up with her ex-husband and out of nowhere moved out of state with the ex-boyfriend and took my son with her. I just found out a couple of days ago and I'm trying to get together with an attorney. My regular attorney can't get me in for a month so I'm looking for another. I'll go through my paperwork again to make sure I'm up to date. I'm so pissed...he has changed schools 6 times and he's in the 4th grade.

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maleficent

Since she's up and left the state, without your permission, that's kidnapping. Do you even need to have a lawyer involved at this point? Can't you just go to the police?

it's a sucky situation for the children involved... I hope it works out for the best.

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dksuddeth

since she had custody of the boy, the police will not get involved immediately. This will have to go through the courts, unfortunately, and the judge has to determine that she violated the decree and/or custody order. She'll then be summoned to the court at her previous address and when they can't find her a bench warrant to appear will be sworn out. In the meantime you'll most likely have to hire a lawyer just to locate her at her new address. I wish you the best of luck.

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"no amount of force can control a free man, a man whose mind is free. No, not the rack, not fission bombs, not anything. You cannot conquer a free man; the most you can do is kill him."

f6twister

This is a common misconception. Unless there are signed legal papers which state that the father has full custody of the child taken, the police can't act. This turns into a child custody dispute to be handled through the courts. On the bright side, now that she has pulled this crap, there are more grounds for granting custody of the other child to the father.

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A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day. Calvin

PDOUBLEOP

I'm still waiting for one of the attorneys that I've called to call me back. No news yet.

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ergdork

Wow.. this is really terrible. I wish you luck. I hope you make progress. I wish there was something I could do! I know I'll be watching this thread, so please keep us as up to date as you can (and feel comfortable doing).

ironmaiden7o7

I am sorry that you have to go through this. My best advice would be for you to contact an attorney, there are many free places that you can go to for a consultation. Or, if not, speak to a professional, someone who are give you positive pointers on how to prevent her from taking your child farther away from you. Good luck with this situation.

PDOUBLEOP

I met with an attorney. He's working on paperwork to give me temporary custody. I also just found out that she signed over custody of her other 2 kids to her other ex-husband. I can't believe I married that piece of shit.

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f6twister

I hope this is a sign that your attempt to get custody will be easier. The certainly could use a stable environment. I hoping for quick and painless resolution for you and your kids (at least no more painfull than it already has been). Keep us updated.

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A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day. Calvin

Demeter

Even the best of us have placed our faith & hearts in the wrong hands. I feel for you.

PDOUBLEOP

I have a hearing scheduled in a few weeks for my request for temporary custody. My attorney tried to get it sooner but thats the earliest the court could schedule. I hoped to get him out of there before he made all new friends and settled in.

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Demeter

My thoughts are with you, Pdoubleop, hang in there!

little_tippler

Good luck with that, poor kid. Your ex sounds nuts. Let us know what happens.

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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

PDOUBLEOP

Update...went to court for temporary custody. She brought recent report cards that showed he was doing good in school. Temporary custody request was dropped and now I have to wait until May for mediation. This is getting old.

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dksuddeth

what court did this? your state or her new state?

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"no amount of force can control a free man, a man whose mind is free. No, not the rack, not fission bombs, not anything. You cannot conquer a free man; the most you can do is kill him."

PDOUBLEOP

My state. In the county where the original custody was determined.

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