Maynard James Keenan "finds Jesus"
 

If you are familiar with the band Tool, you know they are notorious for leaking out information about themselves that is pretty ludicrous, like Maynard keeping corpses in his basement or members of the band being cannibals.

Keep that in mind when you read this taken from http://www.toolband.com/index_frames.html :

You know the old saying, “no news is good news”, well… that was the case as far as the recording process was going for the new Tool CD, but now things may have changed a bit. Yesterday, when I went to the studio to give Maynard a bottle of wine (a 1992 Maya) for winning the bet that I had with him involving his new film “Sleeping Dogs Lie” (I lost by default, not being able to attend the Sedona screening), not only wasn’t Maynard there, but, in what seems to be a case of enantiodromia (something becoming its opposite) if ever there was one (!), I was told the reason why he wasn’t there. I wish this post was dated April 1, but, unfortunately, it isn’t. Like a doctor giving a patient a straight, honest answer to a medical diagnosis, without sugar-coating the truth, here’s exactly what I was told: “Maynard has found Jesus.” This will come as a complete shock to most (but not all) of you, as it did to me. In fact, it just seemed like another MJK prank until I talked to the one person who I believe would know if all this was legit or not. After nearly an hour on the phone with this person, the answer I received was that Maynard has indeed “found Jesus” and that, for this reason, he’s abandoned the project for the time being, if not entirely. I don’t know what the f**k is in the water these days, but hopefully a black jelly belly will turn up in that golden bowl… that’s all I can think to say at this point. Before leaving the studio, I watched as Danny made arrangements to go play some golf, while Adam and Justin kept working on a particular song. So, in case you missed it (those who don’t read the whole post), here’s today's news: Maynard has found Jesus…

This was posted a day before April Fool's Day. I have a feeling this is another one of those stories.

I'm calling shenanigans. Break out your brooms . . .

Sounds like he might be mocking that crazy guy from Creed.

Creed or Korn? Either way, I find it hilarious (whether he found jesus or it's just a joke).

I can only hope this is a joke. IF by some chance it isn't.. it's fucking pitiful

MJK found jesus? That is about as likely as that the next pope will be black, lesbian and woman... :hmm:

My thoughts exactly.

/me dittoes the ditto.

Yeah, I meant Korn. My bad.

This has got to be a joke. Read his lyrics! This goes against pretty much everything he has ever written! I call bullshit. Please, PLEASE tell me this is bullshit...

It's a spoof of the Korn guy. Move along people, nothing to see here...

Uhhh...wow. Looks like we won't know for sure until we start hearing more about the new CD....my gut tells me this is bullshit.

I have so been waiting for the next album. Started reading this on another web page and I thought to myself "What the hell?". Was reading it on toolband.com. Well after the next day they posted this.

http://www.toolband.com/index_frames.html

The last sentence talks about tooltabs.net having their hands full when the new stuff is released so thats something saying that it was a joke sort of.

What a sick joke.

I hate this latest trend of people "finding Jesus".

It was like that Kabbalah garbage fad that hit Hollywood not too long ago. Oooh Madonna is one, now Ashton Kutcher is (amongst many others), as if it's the "in" thing to do.

What a bunch of tools.

I believe MJK is fucking around, but still... it's a sick joke to play on people, hahaha. That'd be equivalent to saying, "Tool will be a country music group from here on out."

of course it's a joke, you retards. :p

Looks like some of you aren't very familiar with Tool. Before the release of Lateralus, they circulated rumors of fake album titles, one of which included Bethleham Abortion Clinic.

Moral of the story: Don't take any announcement from Tool seriously, ever.

Especially if it is posted on April 1st of any year, as this was.

Sounds like a April Fools joke if you ask me...

Genius. Genius. Genius.

Hah! Thats great, Maynard is such a cool guy.

That's funny as hell.

Finding The Messiah and believing in the Messiah 2 different things. Either way to me, its all good if its real, dont really matter to me tho.

Ha! Yeah I feel like a retard all right.

Hahaha, I knew it was going to be something like that, actually finding Jesus on the side of the road somewhere. Ahhh, Maynard never fails to entertain.

Maynard is fucking brilliant. Nuff said

HA!!! He got ya all. I like listening to Tool. Great band. :thumbsup:

You're just upset that he didn't really find you.