Krycheck

Hello parts how can I help you?
I need to order a part.
*silence* (This is the part where im suppose to read thier mind)
Ok. For?
For a (insert car make here).
What kind?
You know, a ******.
They make more than one mamam.
Well I don't know.
Look at the back of the vehicle, it say's there.
It's a ******
Ok, what do you need?
A sensor.
*sigh*
What kind of sensor?
I don't know, they just told me I needed a sensor. My check engine lite is on
Well there's about 10-20 sensors on a car. I need to know excactly which one you need
Well don't you work on the cars!?
No mamam, I sell the parts. You tell me excactly what you need and I sell it to you.
Fine! I'll call you back!

You think tech support has it hard

Also what's bad is when a man will have his wife call for him and she's clueless! When you ask her questions you can hear her ask him in the background. And it goes back and forth through out the conversation.

__________________

His pants are tight...but his morals are loose!!

Dougie

O2 sensor is what shes lookin for :P

Paper

Sounds like my work.

<b>Domino's Pizza</b>
I'd like to order a pizza [Ya think?]
<b>What would you like to order?</b>
Well what kind of specials do you have?
<b>We have this, this, and this.</b>
Oh, well. I'll just order a large pizza then. [I hate you]

Never fails, happens every time. Yeah, I work at Domino's...

DEI37

Yeah, I work as a Parts Consultant (gotta make myself sound important), and get that kind of stuff. I hate it.

__________________
Generally speaking, if you were to get what you really deserve, you might be unpleasantly surprised.

Krycheck

/rant_1
What I hate most is that when someone doesn't know what they're talking about but they think they do and they want to talk to someone else cause they think you don't know what your talking about!@#!@#!!!@#
/rant_0

__________________

His pants are tight...but his morals are loose!!

ltdaywalker

Much like my old work.

customer: That item rang up at 3.98 and it was marked at 3.75
me: Alright, let me give grocery a call and check it out for you.
customer: Is this gonna take long cause I dont have all day!?
me: Ill make it as quick as possible ma'am
c: just ring the item up at 3.75 and forget about it.
me: I cant do that ma'am i have to check it out so we can fix it if its wrong
(10 secs later)
c: (huffing and puffing) This isnt very quick, I have things to do and you are being very uncooperative.
me: sorry ma'am im doing the best I can (ya bitch)
c: thats it im leaving i cant believe it would take so long.

all that to save .25 and the bitch leaves a $100 order on my damn belt that takes 30 min to clear up. People suck!

that was my cashier job at jewel. NEVER WORK THERE!!

merkerguitars

Sorta like my computer tech job:
Customers sends email...my router doesn't work I'm gonna take it back to best buy to get returned.
Customer says in next email: couldn't return it need receipt.
I go to his house to check whats up...complains he has a virus....it's from running his computer directly into his cable modem..hence no firewall.
Then he tells me he dropped his laptop pcmcia wireless card and doesn't use the eject button on the laptop and just reams on it to get it out...hence why his wireless works like shit...
I tell you i love people blaming their stupidity on me

__________________
Donate now! Ask me How!

Please use the search function it is your friend.

Look at my mustang please feel free to comment!

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=26985

KeyserSoze

Try spending 4 fucking hours test driving a couple of cars with a client, sitting down to negotiate the price and hearing them say "well my friend is only paying $350.00 a month on his car and he only put $1000.00 down" Excuse me but this is a $45,000.00 vehicle and your friend is not telling you the truth, "but thats what he pays"....Do you make the payments for him??

"no but thats what he said he pays"

Ok.....dipshit.....lets calculate a lease without interest and sales tax.

$45,000.00 depriciates lets say at best since it's a Benz 1% a month, so when you lease you pay the depreciation per month so without INTEREST or tax as of right now you have a $450.00 a month nut, and now you want to tell me your friend is only paying $350.00 with only $1000.00 down...........your friend is not being truthful because he doesn't want you to know what he's really paying.

So, after another hour of schooling on how to calculate a lease payment, and negotiating the price after they say "I have excellent credit...I don't want you to run it until we agree on price"

Have you had a previous auto loan?? "yes"

Did you make all your payments on time?? "yes"

Ok........we agree on the price now, run their credit and the MOTHERFUCKERS DON'T pay ANYONE ON TIME..............32 times 30 days late..............43 time 60 days late, and the best is their car HAS BEEN REPOSSESED and these fuckers are shopping for a Mercedes Benz.

Then out comes what if I get a co-signer??

This is where I tell them (and this happens ALOT) you need to go to FORD..they will finance anyone.

Now I know there are thousands of scumbag salesman who rip off their own family members if given the chance, and they pray on people that can't do the MATH. I take pride in being fair, non-judgemental, and morally honest(I know one day I have to answer to God) but somtimes........well, alot of the time........I really want to slap the shit out of some customers and tell them to go back to school learn math, and most of all learn how to be responsible and PAY YOUR FUCKING BILLS

Thanks for wasting 4 hours of my time during the busiest time of the sales day so now I can close the day without making a FUCKING DIME!

TIP: If you lease a car remember you pay the depreciation + interest+ sales tax(if any) this is what makes up your payment, and if you finance just figure on $21.00 per thousand financed on a 60 month loan(give or take a few dollars depending on what tier credit)

And remember if you ask to see the invoice THEY HAVE TO SHOW IT TO YOU, and they are not made up invoices...they just don't tell you about the holdback

__________________
THERE IS NO KEYSER SOZE!!

Krycheck

KeyserSoze: That's excactly the customers we deal with here at my place. We specialize in bad credit here and it sucks. I know excactly what your talking about.

__________________

His pants are tight...but his morals are loose!!

idontknow

yea, i worked in the parts dept. at a honda dealership for about 8 months and the questions brought to me were ridiculous...one kid came in once and actually asked me how much it would cost for him to buy a brand new prelude motor for his civic and have it installed...and at least 10 people would come in a day and ask if we were hiring

Atomic Pinkie

Tech Support has it hard...we HAVE to help them fix their problem...you take a lady and ask her what version of windows she has...I have AOL 8.0

That is rough....

When they take online courses and don't even know how to navigate through the OS


Tech Support is the hardest thing to do!

__________________
Where dem bitches at?

0001

[Randal is on the phone when a woman and little girl come to the counter.]
'Happy-Scrappy' Mom: Excuse me, do you sell videos?
Randal Graves: Yeah, what're you looking for?
'Happy-Scrappy' Kid: Happy Scrappy Hero Pup.
Randal Graves: Okay, hang on, I'm on the phone with the distribution house now, lemme make sure we got it. What was it called again?
'Happy-Scrappy' Mom: Happy Scrappy Hero Pup.
'Happy-Scrappy' Kid: Happy Scrappy...
'Happy-Scrappy' Mom: She loves it.
Randal Graves: Obviously. Yeah, hello, this is RST Video, customer number 4352, I need to place an order. Okay, I need one each of the following tapes: "Whispers in the Wind", "To Each His Own", "Put It Where It Doesn't Belong", "My Pipes Need Cleaning", "All Tit-Fucking Volume 8", "I Need Your Cock", "Ass-Worshipping Rim-Jobbers", "My Cunt Needs Shafts", "Cum Clean", "Cum-Gargling Naked Sluts", "Cum Buns III", "Cumming in Socks", "Cum On Eileen", "Huge Black Cocks and Pearly White Cum", "Men Alone II: the KY Connection", "Pink Pussy Lips", and, uh, oh yeah, "All Holes Filled with Hard Cock". Uh-huh...yeah...Oh, wait, and, what was that called again?

0001

Customer: Cute cat. What's his name?
Randal Graves: Annoying customer.
Customer: [grabs pack of cigarettes] Fuckin' dickhead.

Spyder_Venom

I worked the parts counter for three years part time... I understand the pain....


I feel the best thing we ever did was on April fools a long time customer sent his wife to the store to pick up muffler bearnigns for a 1983 Corvette (this is a classic).. Well, after she came in we informed her that this was a april fools joke, her response, "I knew somthing was up becuase I don't *think* we have a corvette." So to get back at her husban we printed her a recipt for 8XX.00 dollars and gave her a wheel bearings box with a defetive wheel bearing.. We told her to give him the box and recipt and see what he says. It wan't but 10 minutes before he called us yelling and bitching how we scamed his wife... My manager didn't get two words in before he handed me the phone and started cussing me out, then his wife told him...

He felt like such a dick, he bought us a case of beer for being such an ass later that week... Ever since then he seems, for some reason, really nice.

__________________
The local track whore

myMHz

The Parts Guy

I work behind the counter

in an auto parts store.

Sometimes I'm called a genius,

Sometimes I'm called MUCH more!



I claim I'm not a genius,

but when the job goes sick

my customers ask me

"What makes this thing tick?"



I'm an engineer and machinist

and rarely, if bored.

I'm supposed to be an Einstein

combined with Henry Ford.



Folks think I know the numbers

of starters,belts and gears,

for every kind of automobile made

for more than forty years.



But life would be a pleasure

and I'd grin from ear to ear

If the customer would only know

the model, make, and year.

__________________
"The radio business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs.

There's also a negative side."

thadon

she was lookin for an id10t sensor

Krycheck

Today I got:

Parts can I help you?

Is my panel in?

Where does it say im a mindreader?!?!

Also:

"I need the round thingy lights on my bumper"

"I need a bracket for my car."

"I need a bolt, you got one?"

"I need a bearing" Which one? "I dunno. They just told me I needed a bearing"

*me runs screaming*

__________________

His pants are tight...but his morals are loose!!

nitrorclover

LOL, very funny thread, reminds me of my days working retail. Why do the bitchiest people always want their $0.25 back? Come to think of it, I'm don't really like people anymore.

zcwrx

Fellow parts counterperson here as well. Crochity ol' Lincoln customers are the worst too!

zcwrx

Nice one!

grumpyolddude

The more expensive the cars, the cheaper the owner. They almost seem offended that they should have to pay for a repair.

Flip side: poor fools who POUR money into cheap rust-buckets.

__________________
"Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

izzzzy

my service engine soon light came on so i took my truck to the dealer parts guy had me wait 45 minutes came back and told me i had a defectixe gas cap cost of diagnosis 50 bucks then the prick tells me its not in stock when part came in he called and said to come in and have it installed iknow this asshole from school and he couldnt find a job any where else so its a 2 way street

KeyserSoze

Izzzzy,

If your car is still under factory warranty they CAN NOT charge a diagnostic fee. Also 90% of the time if your check engine light goes on it does usually mean you forgot to tighten the gas cap all the way and air got in the tank, but again if it's under warranty they should plug it into the computer and flip a switch@ no cost to you.

__________________
THERE IS NO KEYSER SOZE!!

Sion

"Also 90% of the time if your check engine light goes on it does usually mean you forgot to tighten the gas cap all the way and air got in the tank"


air in the gas tank (there is SUPPOSED to be air in there) can NOT cause the check engine light to come on. if it could, the light would always be on because there is always air in the tank. what do you suppose takes up the rest of the space in the tank that is not occupied by gas?

simply put, the check engine light means that the computer is getting readings from one (or more) of the sensors that are out of the expected range. for example, if the reading from a given sensor is supposed to be 0.1v to 0.5v and the sensor is giving a reading of 0.9v, then the check engine light will come on.

__________________
He's the best, of course, of all the worst.
Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz

I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...

tman17m

its like, everyone who has to deal with morons!!
MORONIC PEOPLE...the general public
i used to work at radioshack...all the stories i have are very similar to the ones posted...
it pretty much sucks if you are in any type of customer service job where you have to deal with the general public (morons!)

Scorps

I think they just need to hook the computer up and make the light go away

myMHz

A lady goes into an auto parts store and asks for a seven ten cap.
All the service guys look at each other and ask, "What's a seven ten cap?"
She said "You know, it's right on the engine? Mine got lost somehow and I need a new one."
"What kind of a car is it on," they asked? Thinking maybe it's off an old Datsun Seven Ten, but no, she said it's an AMC.
"OK lady, how big is it?"
She makes a circle with her hands about 3 inches in diameter.
"What does it do?," they asked.
She said, "I don't know, but its always been there."
One of them gave her a note pad and asked her if she could draw a picture of it. So she makes a circle about 3 inches in diameter and in the center she writes 710.
The guys behind the counter are looking at it upside down as she writes it...and they fall down behind the counter laughing hysterically.
------------------------------------------------------
Don't get it? Draw a circle, write 710 in the middle of it, and turn it upside down to read it.

__________________
"The radio business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs.

There's also a negative side."

Scorps

LOL I heard that one before

MSD

I remember being 8, with my dad in Main Auto waiting in line, and the old guy in front of us was arguing that his car had a carburetor problem. After ten minutes, he still refused to believe that his car had a fuel-injected engine, and stomped off. Even I was laughing at him.

I worked at Radio Shack and I got the funniest return reasons.

"It has too many buttons" [we had spent an hour showing the man and his wife where the "on" button was]

"I bought this three years ago and I never got around to opening it, then for Christmas, my mother got me a new answering machine, and I found this one the other day. Can I still return it?"

Me: You unplug your phone's cord, plug it into the side of the recorder, then plug this cord into the other side, and into the phone where you unplugged the first cord.
Her: I don't see any wire on the recorder. How can I unplug it?
Me .oO(You are the stupidest customer I have ever seen)

One guy wanted to switch to DirecTV because it had a religious channel 24/7: "I don't care how many channels it gets, I just want EWTN all day. CAblevision only has it for 16 hours a day."
Me:

Sion

all you parts men/women will appreciate this one:

(actual conversation from my days behind the counter at a Western Auto/Parts America/Advance Auto)

me: good afternoon sir, how can I help you today?

grumpy old guy: I need a timing chain for a chevy small block

me: no problem sir, however, our timing chains come as a set which includes both of the gears. is that okay with you?

him: (grumble grumble) yeah, okay but that is ALL that I need. dont go trying to sell me anything else.

me: of course sir. now, what is the year, make and model of the vehicle?

him: i already told you, its a chevy small block. you know, a 350. you dont need any of that other information.

me: well sir, unfortunately, my parts lookup works by inputing the year, make and model.

him: god damnit! I just need a fucking timing chain for a chevy small block.

me: ok sir. do you know if it was a car or truck that it came out of? or the approximate year?

him: dammit, they're all the same! {I wish I had a dollar for every time I've heard that bit of horseshit.} aww fuck it. I'm going somewhere else where they know what they are doing. (he stomps out)


so, just out of morbid curiosity, I looked up the part numbers for three different vehicles (2 cars and a truck) from three different years (one in the 70s, one in the 80s and one in the 90s) that all came with chevy small block (350cc) engines. and guess what?

yep, THREE different part numbers.

fuck that old asshole.

they are NOT all the same.

__________________
He's the best, of course, of all the worst.
Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz

I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...

cair0

yeah some people have no idea =/

Moonduck

The "air in the gastank" may have been an innaccurate way to explain the problem, but the fix is correct for the problem. If the gascap isn't on tight enough, pressure problems result in the tank. This can cause your auto to change various settings in the emissions control systems. End result: your car runs like crap because your cap is bad or you didn't screw it on tight enough.

In terms more clear to Joe-owner: air in the gastank.

OROIT

air in the gas tank!!!
BAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAHA

tfin

Try working in a casino. I work at a smaller mid-west casino and our target market is old people, but it really should be idiots, that's what we get. I had a lady bitching at me becasue a slot machine ate her $1 bill. We did all the checks and there was not even a $1 bill in the cash box. Then I look at the machine next to her and there is $1 worh of credits on it. I do a quick check, and yup, a $1 bill had just been inserted. I asked the lady if she put the money in that machine. She assured me that she was not playing that one. Then it just got worse from there.

On the other had I hate it when you call the parts counter and yo ugive htem every possible detail on a part. They say the have it and give you a price. So you trek all the fucking way across town to their parts counter. You say hi to the guy and explane that you just talked to him on the phone and you came to get that exactly specified part that he said he had. So he gets this deer in the head light look. You give him all hte info again. Then he says, "Oh yeah, here it is. That will be (3x the original price)." You are so desperate for the part you would pay whatever that guy wants so you agree. Then he says, "Ok, well we will order this for you and it wil be here in a week or two."

I know all parts guys arn't like this and that is why I give every one a fair shake. But there are some out there that are even worse than the stupid people we bitch about.

__________________
Did I mention that I can't spell or type?
Oh yeah, check out my car
www.cardomain.com/member_pages/view_page.pl?page_id=275916

grumpyolddude

LOL

My favorite occurance of this mindset happened several years ago. The guys INSISTED that all SBC used the same fuel pump, FOREVER! I pulled three different fuel pumps, placed 'em on the counter and let HIM pick. An hour later, he came back and picked one of the others. Two hours after that, he came back with his old pump in hand. I ran the numbers and got the right pump for him. He just answers my questions ever since.

BTW, Sion, how is it that your store didn't have any PAPER catalogs? We're hooked up with e-catalogging, but we always keep the paper as a back-up. What happens if the 'puter crashes? Power fails? My experiences are that e-cats are keyed by steno's with no automotive background and proofreading is very shoddy.

The large chains (PepBoys, Autozone, etc.) in my area refuse to keep catalogs, and we get 5 to 10 calls a day from THEM asking for help finding a part. If they were serious auto parts stores, you'd think they'd try to do the job properly. Stay away from those "fast food" parts stores. A good independent will treat you better. (We beat them on most prices, too!)

__________________
"Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

poof

I am an ASE certified Master Truck Technician (I work on trucks and heavy junk).

The theory us professional mechanics have about partsmen is as follows.

If your daughter comes home with a man she has declared as "the one", and he is a partsman, you can feel safe.

A partsman doesn't know what he is looking for, and doesn't know what to do with it when he finds it.

Oh yeah, they like to put a little screwdriver in their pocket protector and try and convince do it yourselfers that they are a mechanic.

0001

Strong words comin' from a man who calls himself "poof"


jk hehe

grumpyolddude

Good one, poof! I'm ASE certified, too, since 1993. Just recertified this spring. I used to help my brother, the ASE certified Master Technician study for HIS tests. I've driven tow trucks for AAA, worked at a service station, helped manage a production engine rebuilder/ installer plant, and managed two independent auto parts stores. I do not pass myself off as a mechanic, by a lot of very good "technicians" call me for advice every day.

We auto parts professionals recognize each other: we're the ones who learned how to read AND clean our fingernails!

__________________
"Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

Sion

"BTW, Sion, how is it that your store didn't have any PAPER catalogs?"

oh we did have paper catalogs, a whole huge rack of them, all jammed in tight, which made it a bit of a pain in the ass to find the one you want and keep the page open long enough and wide enough to read it. it was faster and easier to use the comp.

"My experiences are that e-cats are keyed by steno's with no automotive background and proofreading is very shoddy."

copy that. some of the shit I read was unbelievably wrong. but ours was pretty decent and gave you the right part # 98% of the time.

"We auto parts professionals recognize each other: we're the ones who learned how to read AND clean our fingernails!"

lmfao

__________________
He's the best, of course, of all the worst.
Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz

I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...

mastertakana

great thread.

I worked at a parts place for 5 years while in college and I wil never forget the idiots I had to deal with sometimes.

People would always want a bottle of liquid that they could pour in their engine,tank trranny, etc that would fix busted seals, bad sensors or injectors or other major failures, used to crack me up.

__________________
All I know the time it is gettin dread
Need alot of trees up in my head