Limerick challenge

[TexanAvenger]

Alright, I've seen how well people around here can write, so I hope we can get some good ones out here. Dictionary.com defines "limerick" as:

A light humorous, nonsensical, or bawdy verse of five anapestic lines usually with the rhyme scheme aabba.

I used to be pretty into limericks, writing them and putting them on buttons, posters, etc. for high school elections, I'll see if I can pull some old ones out. But here's the last one I wrote, to poke fun at an old english teacher who stuck stringently to rules of composition.

There once was a boy, couldn't rhyme
Tried a limerick, ran out of time
Said his teacher to he,
"Now how can that be
when you write so damn well?"

[tecoyah]

There once was a place for the Jilted
For spanking the Monkey that Wilted
Then thoughts got involved
And so it evolved
To a place that is home to the Tilted

[TexanAvenger]

That's what I'm talking about tec. Great job.

Kinda weak, but here’s one off the top of my head:

There once was a dirty ol’ gent,
Ne’er paid back what he’d been lent.
Started at noon looking for he,
The collectors found him by three,
Doing nothing but tracking his scent.

Not wholly mine, but I helped:

On a merry-go-round in the night,
Coriolis was shaken with fright.
Despite how he walked,
'Twas like he was stalked,
By some fiend always pushing him right.

[Rainyshoes]

A challenge to offer a rhyme,
In limerick rhythm and time.
Three cigarettes later,
My muse still a traitor,
The pressure is starting to climb.

I shout to my muse "What the hell?!..."
Indignant, she answered my yell:
"You idiot schlock,
"I'm off of the clock!
"And relaxing, in case you can't tell!"

So I give you this rather lame verse
'Cause pissing her off would be worse.
My muse, I conclude,
Is in a bad mood,
And I'm scared of her writer's block curse

(sigh)

[ngdawg]

applause, applause, Rainyshoes!!

[tecoyah]

Originally Posted by Rainyshoes

A challenge to offer a rhyme,
In limerick rhythm and time.
Three cigarettes later,
My muse still a traitor,
The pressure is starting to climb.

I shout to my muse "What the hell?!..."
Indignant, she answered my yell:
"You idiot schlock,
"I'm off of the clock!
"And relaxing, in case you can't tell!"

So I give you this rather lame verse
'Cause pissing her off would be worse.
My muse, I conclude,
Is in a bad mood,
And I'm scared of her writer's block curse

(sigh)

Freakin' Brilliant.....Me thinks you have a Muse in your pocket

[muttonglutton]

Bawdy, eh?

Those librarians up in St. Kitts,
They say they never lose their wits.
But I do like their looks
when they put down those books
And lift up their knees to their armpits.

[0energy0]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

lol i love that muttonglutton!
omg that was so good. ahahah i want to use that on girls.

[nofnway]

a thirst it does build while it swelters.
We seek out the shade helter skelter
spending some time
with corona and lime
the box makes a collapsible shelter

[nofnway]

the kiss on the wrist continental
the huge diamond ring ornamental
a soulmate for life
he made her his wife
the love that they shared, transcendental

[cierah]

There once was a boy from Nantucket
who swallowed a pail and a bucket
this limerick is lame
it's quite a shame
and I have no ending, so fuck it.

* my special friend wrote this. I think it's funny.*