Absolute Beauty {Comments = Adored} - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

ccxcone · 01-20-2005, 07:10 PM

This is the first draft of a little poem I wrote. Tell me what you think.

Belle Absolue

A luscious smile from Buxom lips
Filled with liquid, the tissue betwixt.
Smile upends and graces sunken cheeks
With bone protruding the femme mystique.

Who could not, this Aphrodite adore
Whose hips circle thirty inches no more;
A doll afixed upon white fragile poles
And bearing twin milk sacks purchased at Kohl's?

Nymph of beauty, this Diana of fame
In whose admiration they whisper her name!
Down the runway she canters on stilts
To lightning and thunder clamorously built.

vonstalhein · 01-30-2005, 04:51 AM

I'm not totaly sure i get it (Is Kohls an American store..?), but the psuedo-Romantic style works pretty well for you. The last two lines especially conjur a powerful image...especially since the style you use is archaic, and thus contrasting with images of runways. I liked it quite a bit. Tell me what Kohls is!

mojodragon · 01-30-2005, 05:48 AM

Kohls is an American department store. I think he means a padded bra? To me, it seems this poem is about how beauty today is purchased and fake, not natural. Bravo!

01-20-2005, 07:10 PM	#1 (permalink)
ccxcone Crazy Location: Indiana University of Pennsylvania	Absolute Beauty (A Poem) {Comments = Adored} This is the first draft of a little poem I wrote. Tell me what you think. Belle Absolue A luscious smile from Buxom lips Filled with liquid, the tissue betwixt. Smile upends and graces sunken cheeks With bone protruding the femme mystique. Who could not, this Aphrodite adore Whose hips circle thirty inches no more; A doll afixed upon white fragile poles And bearing twin milk sacks purchased at Kohl's? Nymph of beauty, this Diana of fame In whose admiration they whisper her name! Down the runway she canters on stilts To lightning and thunder clamorously built. Last edited by ccxcone; 01-26-2005 at 11:02 AM.. Reason: Gave a more descriptive title

01-30-2005, 04:51 AM	#2 (permalink)
vonstalhein Insane Location: Where You Live.	I'm not totaly sure i get it (Is Kohls an American store..?), but the psuedo-Romantic style works pretty well for you. The last two lines especially conjur a powerful image...especially since the style you use is archaic, and thus contrasting with images of runways. I liked it quite a bit. Tell me what Kohls is! __________________ No Win No Fee

01-30-2005, 05:48 AM	#3 (permalink)
mojodragon Darth Mojo Location: Right behind you...	Kohls is an American department store. I think he means a padded bra? To me, it seems this poem is about how beauty today is purchased and fake, not natural. Bravo!