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View Poll Results: What do you think of my work?
Loved most or all of it - Very good work! 1 100.00%
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Old 03-18-2005, 03:34 PM   #81 (permalink)
Illusionary
 
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Damn....that hurt even to read....One can only hope it comes from a wonderful imagination, rather than a life lesson.

Extremely well metered and clear in message...well done.
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Old 03-19-2005, 04:50 AM   #82 (permalink)
Forget me not...
 
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
Nice to hear a word of encouragement, Tecoyah. Thank you. Can't help but post what's on my mind at 5 or 6 am, after I wake up from a bad dream...somehow, though, none of my poems lately seem to be as good as they could be...
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 03-19-2005, 06:10 AM   #83 (permalink)
Illusionary
 
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No poem ever written is as good as it could be.
That IMO is what makes art what it is.....imperfection creates something Unique.

We fight within
For perfect Muse
We never win
Instead confuse
The line I thought
But never Use
Is soon Forgot
And wasted.....My muse Abused
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Old 03-24-2005, 05:47 PM   #84 (permalink)
Forget me not...
 
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
From writing challenge #10

Rest your eyes upon my fragile, delicate frame,
I'm alone in the land that I've seen since I was born,
men with guns for my mothers death they blame,
they as in those that fly,
the birds that watched the moments of her death,
those that witnessed her final breath,
they saw her die...

How hard is a life that doesn't know how hard a hard life is?
What was that?
Dangers lurk just beyond the stream, behind a tree,
had I sensed this, I would've been quick to flee,
What was that?
Again!
I freeze, so still,
my hearing, so shrill...
BOOM!!
I hear the sound, I do not wait,
I do not think to hesitate,
my fate,
sealed not this time,
so sublime,
so far, so fast, through the forest I run,
a predator, my killer, just one,
for now, this battle I've won.

I have heard from those with wings,
they that skate the sky,
tales of the world beyond the trees only they can spy,
from their point of view so far, so high
explaining the desire to kill a doe, to redeem what I'm worth,
in danger of all predators since my birth,
to be wary of all until I return to the earth,
below me,
will show me,
no pain, no hurt,
once I'm a part of the dirt,
after these times I must be alert,
to stay alive,
I continue to strive,
peace will be known instead,
once my body is a shell, the earth accepts it's friend,
a deer,
wolf,
even a bird,
any life force, once begun now recycled, comes to live again.
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 03-24-2005, 06:24 PM   #85 (permalink)
Forget me not...
 
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
Time
as my watch ticks
my mind's tricks are played
tossed like a spade,
in a game
a game like "Go Fish"
the main course in last night's dinner
fish, ugh, what a winner
in the great race
this marathon we all call existance
we are all a part of a single consciousness
a land where we speak our mind, where we speak so freely
talking like we can do this or that
while on our asses we've only sat
all you're doing is talking the talk
too lazy to walk the walk
around the corner
we're not motivated to go
to the store
we trample across the floor
after the cashier's mopping job just done
we tread with little care
with muddy shoes the proof stays within
the work that the cashier has put into
all that he has done and will strive for
he will continue to strive
because he knows he's alive
are we?
will we ever be?
who are you and who am I?
Is there a reason to live or to die?
You see who I am
how I'm dressed
you make a face in your corduroy vest
the best
money can buy?
Why?

Fuck you
fuck you for making me think about you
your snotty look upon your ugly face
erase
make it disappear before it's my turn
then you'll learn
that a sneer like that is shit
you should've quit
while you were ahead
I don't remember
never to care about what I had to say
no way
were you ever there
so how is it fair?
That you are able
to never lay your cards upon the table
and still succeed
where I have failed in my years
my tears
the tears that ran down my cheeks for weeks
speaks
words you can never say
fuck you
for making me explain it this way.
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 03-24-2005, 06:45 PM   #86 (permalink)
Forget me not...
 
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
Upon my lips you lay your kiss,
but a kiss such as this,
is not upon the lips above,
but upon the lips below,
you know,
what kind of kiss,
is this,
such bliss,
I feel,
as I squeal,
with you laying between my knees,
as two young lovers,
explore a piece of humanity,
what makes us free,
is our want and our need,
our internal greed,
that which heals us also makes us bleed...

I giggle and wiggle,
as your tongue moves about,
no doubt,
our desire is strong,
in our song,
they way our bodies move,
as your hardness finds my groove,
parting ways,
my body obeys,
then it tightly clenches,
wrenches,
in waves I cannot say were less than ecstacy,
I expect to be,
you and me this way,
to stay,
ok, well rather, maybe I pray...

I've given you something now exchanging turns,
my hearts afire as it passionately burns,
out of me you slip, spent,
juices lent,
with dread my stomach churns.

But with sudden surprise,
you take me as your prize, your gift,
this, my spirits, does lift,
no drift, not miffed,
I connect with you like none,
a beautiful story has begun...
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 03-24-2005, 07:55 PM   #87 (permalink)
Forget me not...
 
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
You see that girl over there
she thinks she's nothing, no one
all her life she's stupid, retarded or dumb
she doesn't care any longer
shes stronger
than she knows
and so it goes
so the story goes...

All the questions in her mind
no answer could she find
time must rewind
make them see
the beauty within me
please stop being so blind.

But yet they chose to persist,
finding faults on their list
enforced with fists,
upon her face,
the bruises trace,
where she tried to resist.

An unaware eye at first glance,
where they choose to dance,
taking their chance
where she lost
at what cost
her pride's confident stance.
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620

Last edited by Amnesia620; 03-25-2005 at 02:38 AM..
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Old 03-25-2005, 09:03 AM   #88 (permalink)
Forget me not...
 
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
So, you want to pretend...

*This one's title is actually displayed - chosen inexplicably*

You want to act like you know something?
silence gives others reason to think you're wise,
by opening up your mouth you remove all doubt,
words worth nothing but shit
come out, they just fall out
what do you want now?
I couldn't give less of shit about your sex life,
with details about you "getting some",
please, stop your humming,
and your fingers from drumming,
on my desk and it's table top,
please stop, just stop...

Cause the subject to drop,
make your voice stop,
rattling off in my ear,
is all that you've allowed me to hear,
the outside world noise would surround,
if you weren't around,
around me,
so please let it die,
don't even wonder and ask why,
this subject should die,
you see, that is for me to know,
not for me to spell-out,
scream, shout,
though I've begun to doubt,
my chances to win this debate,
am I too late?
Fate...
Wait...what now?
oh, that's...just great,
can't you hush?
Quiet! Shut Up! Shush!

Hey now, look, I'm sorry,
don't turn away,
don't be so upset,
don't fret,
I've hurt your feelings I bet,
the way I've handled this matter, these things,
I really didn't mean everything I said,
I lost my head,
and in the end,
I know I will regret what I'm now saying,
once again I'll be praying,
oh, how I should've listened to my gut,
and let you go away while...
I kept my mouth shut.
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 03-25-2005, 09:12 AM   #89 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: Utah
Nice work... I like to read your stuff
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And as she plays,
her sweet song of laughter
floats through the air
and warms my heart
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Old 03-25-2005, 09:59 PM   #90 (permalink)
Forget me not...
 
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
Thank you, JRVA, I'm glad to hear that. Feel free to enjoy it as much and as often as you like.
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Old 03-26-2005, 09:45 PM   #91 (permalink)
Forget me not...
 
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
tecoyah - thank you. Thank you for all of your kind words, your support, your friendship, thank you for being you. You've made me realize how much I should appreciate my friends...even more, the ones I have a unique, direct, uninterrupted connection with. You're a great person, friend, and moderator. I'm not the only one that appreciates you, however, I am unique in what I appreciate you for. You've made me smile with your poetry and your honesty about my work...you've answered questions that I had no answers for, you've helped me to think about things I hadn't yet.
Thank you. You've helped me to grow. You will always, regardless of the past, present or future, be considered an ally and friend. And in that, you are great.
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 03-27-2005, 05:29 AM   #92 (permalink)
Illusionary
 
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Bide the Wiccan Law ye must,
In Perfect Love, in Perfect Trust
Eight Words the Wiccan Rede Fulfill:
And Ye Harm None, Do As Ye Will
And Ever Mind the Rule of Three
What Ye Send Out , Comes Back to Thee
Follow This with Mind an Heart
And Merry Ye Meet, And Merry Ye Part
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Old 03-27-2005, 10:13 PM   #93 (permalink)
Forget me not...
 
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
Thank you for displaying that, Tecoyah. That works perfectly here. I wish everyone would live by this. Maybe someday the world will be naturally utopian...it's a hope, I suppose...
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 03-30-2005, 07:19 PM   #94 (permalink)
Illusionary
 
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And a hope worth having.....if ever there was one
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Old 03-31-2005, 02:37 PM   #95 (permalink)
Forget me not...
 
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
To push the thought out
or let the thought die
she's never the one willing
to let sleeping dogs lie.

To not think of tecoyah
she doesn't dare have the nerve
to push these thoughts away
causing them to lose their verve.

To encourage them and to be
to welcome them all into her mind
ensures a good thought to stay there
and a short break from the mental grind

When drinking in vision
of one close to home
accepting of mission
no longer alone
No tears in the offing
or fear in this heart
for though it is daunting
we cant be apart

A connection of importance
friendship made from chance
from this, anyone will ever get
the most memories ever set
in time's hands now they are
only the wind knows how far
as far as the wind ever blows
secrets of one the other knows

And so in this cradle
of safety and care
no reason to worry
no danger is there
I offer no labels
or reasons to cry
I tell you no fables
is pointless to try
If only in wording
A feeling I send
of someone who knows you
a mind loving friend

Any harm to a friend is harm I bind
reflecting smiles so brightly shined
blessed with two minds lovely views
a win win world where no one can lose.

Thank you, Tecoyah. This poem would have been nothing without you.
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 04-04-2005, 09:01 AM   #96 (permalink)
Forget me not...
 
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
Fighting with my heart
suffering in my mind
the world around me
everyone is so blind

I'm the one with sight
only I can see
all the things around
all thats before me
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 04-04-2005, 03:37 PM   #97 (permalink)
Illusionary
 
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Tortured.....yet strong....well done Amnesia
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Old 04-07-2005, 09:42 AM   #98 (permalink)
Forget me not...
 
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
Thank you, tec...once again, thank you.
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 04-07-2005, 10:45 AM   #99 (permalink)
Forget me not...
 
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
I've been awake all night, again,
the darkness has slipped away,
enchanted by the light of my computer,
now dimmed by the light of a new day...

The knowledge within my machine,
held within pages of the internet,
has me compelled to learn more,
it has become a life-long asset...

Each day off and also after work,
this habit of mine has remained so,
I spend hours of time just absorbing,
forever curious is my need to know...

First I search for an explanation,
the reason to it remains undefined,
the purpose to which it exists,
becomes a challenge to find...

Then I suddenly give up on it,
and I decide to take a break,
in just reading my cousin's page,
increases my concern for her sake...

For anyone who cares to hear,
this news now turns my gut,
to know that my cousin's arms,
are what she's chosen to cut...

Then Andy comes home early,
with gossip of someone's life,
our friend's secret is discovered,
an intimate act not with his wife...

One second of time and I deny,
speaking all the reasons for doubt,
giving all the reasons of rationale,
trying to understand and figure it out...

His wife is about to have a baby,
she is equally my dear friend also,
the rumor is bound to be revealed,
this secret is one I'm ashamed to know...
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 04-07-2005, 11:11 AM   #100 (permalink)
Forget me not...
 
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
Fade To Black

No no let me explain...
wait, now, that's not rain,
each drop is a moment of pain,
it's beginning to flood,
though I am thankful it's not blood,
my conciousness would fade,
before I laid,
in the bed I just made,
my life was once celebrated,
and my face was elated,
now I am no more,
the one thing I abhorr,
right to my own core,
I look upon my empty face,
a placeless person with a place,
now a part of a new space.
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620

Last edited by Amnesia620; 11-23-2005 at 09:26 PM..
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Old 04-08-2005, 11:13 PM   #101 (permalink)
Oh dear God he breeded
 
Seer666's Avatar
 
Location: Arizona
Well, you have been busy girl. SOrry it's been so long sense I stopped in here and took a read. Good stuff. I need to start cranking out some new words myself. It's always nice to get a peek into that that mind of yours. It's an intresting place to be.
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Bad spellers of the world untie!!!

I am the one you warned me of

I seem to have misplaced the bullet with your name on it, but I have a whole box addressed to occupant.
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Old 04-09-2005, 02:19 AM   #102 (permalink)
Forget me not...
 
Amnesia620's Avatar
 
Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seer666
Well, you have been busy girl. Sorry it's been so long sense I stopped in here and took a read. Good stuff. I need to start cranking out some new words myself. It's always nice to get a peek into that that mind of yours. It's an intresting place to be.
Seer!! I've missed you! Yeah...well... You know how it is...idle hands is the poets playground...wait...that's not how it goes...

I'm sorry I missed you this evening...work has been exhausting, there's been drama here and there , something's are just...well...unorganized right now...I look forward to reading more of your work, Seer, as always...your poems blow any of my shit out of the water.
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 04-16-2005, 04:12 PM   #103 (permalink)
It's All About The Ass!!
 
K-Wise's Avatar
 
Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amnesia620
It's scary to think there is someone,
out there who knows you intimately,
someone who is there to catch you,
long before you know you will fall.
Like I said. WOW. I agree with Ironmaiden here. I think you should look into publishing your works. I've read all of them now and so many of them are just deeply moving in ways one has trouble explaining. I love how all of them are so well structured as well. I know nothing of structure myself, my pieces show this but yours are not only structured well in a way that is easy to follow but they lose no value in this either. I'm glad I decided to finally catch up on your writings.

My only regret is I waited too long to provide more quotes .

Asta!!
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Old 04-23-2005, 04:29 AM   #104 (permalink)
Forget me not...
 
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
Please, please stop, just let me go,
Your memory has just plagued me so,
Now the happiness my life does lack,
Is all because I just want you back.

I didn't see how I would be a mess,
As in each day of my life I progress,
Each memory is cloaked within sorrow,
As I fight to forget you again tomorrow.
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 04-24-2005, 03:35 AM   #105 (permalink)
Illusionary
 
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As always, a well written piece. Clear image sent to the reader and meaning hidden between the lines.

I would remove "just" from the second line.

But that is just my call.

Always a pleasure to read you Amnesia
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Old 04-24-2005, 03:55 AM   #106 (permalink)
Forget me not...
 
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
I agree with you, tecoyah.

I'm glad to be a part of that which brings a stream of sunlight into your, and others, lives. If that makes any sense...
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 06-10-2005, 08:58 PM   #107 (permalink)
Forget me not...
 
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
The tiniest ember
burning inside
outlasting the others
has finally died
Those that didn't last
are kept alive
by the last little ember's
thoughts which thrive
Until it blinks out
and is no longer there
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 07-03-2005, 08:11 PM   #108 (permalink)
Forget me not...
 
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
Is today the day
in which I stay
no longer shall I drift away
what to say
some may pray
no f****** way
or "she's a nice lay"
Hey Hey Hey
I just may...
only if it's okay...
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 07-03-2005, 11:24 PM   #109 (permalink)
It's All About The Ass!!
 
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Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!
Still coming out with good stuff. Glad we talked today and glad I checked back in here. Short but sweet are all 3 I hadn't read yet. The first is my favorite. Keep writing

Asta!!
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Old 07-28-2005, 04:55 AM   #110 (permalink)
Forget me not...
 
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
In the corner
of the living room
she sits quietly, alone,
and just by looking at her
one might dare assume
that she isn't worth a shit.

By chance, to someone she's a hottie
though she looks kinda naughty
but hey, now, she could be nice
I'm not sure if that will suffice
usually only for some loser
the kind with no balls
to even talk to her...

Enter, "Stage Right", the Typical Asshole
You know the type
The Wham-Bam-Don't-Give-A-Damn
That's right, you know the type
The Jerk, The Real Loser
The one who will charm her
then harm her in some way...

Wish I had a girl like her...

If only I could get her to go for a guy like me...

What'd I give to be an Asshole.
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 07-28-2005, 07:18 PM   #111 (permalink)
Illusionary
 
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Inside herself she sees someone I dont know
who is this frail soul of lost passion
knowing herself as she does
kidding herself
each passing day lets some held emotion go
part of my love with it in a fashion
her only answer......because
Killing herself
and Me
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Old 08-02-2005, 03:45 AM   #112 (permalink)
Forget me not...
 
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Well done once again, Tecoyah. I like it - touching on a deeper level...
Something destroyed so that something else could be created...I suppose...cycle of life...
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Old 08-06-2005, 09:39 PM   #113 (permalink)
Forget me not...
 
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
In any single instant,
a moment in time was frozen,
like the smallest cube of ice,
then dropped upon Reality's own plane,
anticipation is what will entice,
as if already we've been chosen,
to never drop, forever to remain,
in any single instant.
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 08-25-2005, 07:18 PM   #114 (permalink)
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Alright, everyone, I have continued my work in Shadows of my Soul Poetry - Chapter Two. Hope you all enjoy it and I'll be looking forward to your critiques.
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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