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View Poll Results: What do you think of my work?
Loved most or all of it - Very good work! 1 100.00%
Liked most or some of it - I have a few favorites. 0 0%
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Old 01-31-2005, 02:21 PM   #41 (permalink)
Drifting
 
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Location: Windy City
That's so true about amazing grace - makes me wonder if there's irony in having a funeral march played as a wedding processional/recession. As always, love your stuff
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Old 01-31-2005, 09:31 PM   #42 (permalink)
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Thank you, Amonkie. It's nice to know people enjoy my work...I've often wondered if I'm any good.
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Old 02-03-2005, 08:28 AM   #43 (permalink)
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Disgusting

Foul, Gross, Vile,
This isn't worth the while,
Why did I read that story,
It's Reality is really gory.

Actions are so wrong,
not thought about long,
sanity is questioned here,
truth of the post is unclear.

And now we all stand queasy,
discussing this isn't very easy,
how is concern to be shown,
when the truth of it is unknown?

Please don't ever post it again,
not the who, what, why or when,
the post topic needs to be changed,
illness will spread by the deranged.

With this poem I write, I walk away,
hoping to God you see another day,
in your presence I feel I want to flee,
I want nothing that is you around me.
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620

Last edited by Amnesia620; 11-23-2005 at 08:35 PM..
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Old 02-04-2005, 10:35 PM   #44 (permalink)
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Without Mommy

Mommy! Mommy!
I'm scared! I need you!
Why does my daddy answer?
Why only him and not you?

My mommy's gone away,
I think she's forgotten me,
Maybe she'll come back,
Everyday I wait to see.

Daddy has tried to explain to me,
he says that my mommy's very sick,
I pretend to know what he means,
but I don't know words like "alcoholic".

I am too little to get it,
that's what Daddy said,
as I stare at him blankly,
he tucks me in bed.

Each day I look out our window,
imagining her in our portico,
Mommy walks up to our front door,
any minute now Mommy will show.

I miss you much more each day,
memories are trapped in the past,
Daddy is taking good care of me,
all of our time goes by very fast.

Mommy, why are you an alcoholic?
Why does it keep you far away?
Don't you love me anymore, Mommy?
When will you be home to stay?

So each night Daddy tucks me in,
we say a prayer before goodnight,
Daddy always shows me lots of love,
and he knows to leave on the hall light.

My daddy tries to explain,
that Mommy is not well,
I don't say anything to him,
I won't come out of my shell.

All I think about is Mommy,
think about her all day long,
she'll be home tomorrow,
I know I can remain strong.

I still don't get what Daddy says,
I don't know why Mommy's sick,
and I won't ever understand,
a word as big as "alcoholic".
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620

Last edited by Amnesia620; 11-23-2005 at 08:37 PM..
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Old 02-05-2005, 12:44 PM   #45 (permalink)
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The one above, you can also find on the Writing Challenge #3 thread. I just posted it here so it's added to my collection. Hope every enjoys...any requests? lol
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 02-05-2005, 04:27 PM   #46 (permalink)
Illusionary
 
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I am saddened by the above poem...........it is heartwrenching.
Fantastic work...as expected
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Old 02-05-2005, 10:41 PM   #47 (permalink)
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The poem from the eyes of a 5 year old is totally what I remember at that age...I am glad that it touched you so deeply though, Tecoyah. I have a renewed pride in my work because of you and a few other TFP members who seem to love my poetry...

Once again, you know how to brighten someones day.
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 02-10-2005, 08:50 PM   #48 (permalink)
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
You,
have the audacity,
to obsess,
yet I'm neurotic?

You,
have the gall,
to be audacious,
yet I'm impudent?

You,
dare to deceive,
to say I'm false,
yet you lie to me?

You,
have the nerve,
to say I'm too clingy,
yet you can't live without me?
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 02-10-2005, 11:38 PM   #49 (permalink)
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
One dark summer night,
way back in the year 1983,
looking at the sky as best friends,
here I chill with Tom beside me.

In the morning my life will change,
my daughter will come to stay,
I've been granted full custody,
my life will start a whole new day.

Now in view is a shooting star,
unique in size and it's very bright,
how lucky are we to see this,
on this very dark and quiet night.

Suddenly it breaks apart in two,
never guessing this was our sign,
each half going in it's own direction,
Tom watched his and I watched mine.

Fast-forward time about 3 or 4 years,
we live far apart, don't speak everyday,
I work a lot and care for my daughter,
touch is lost, yet still a lot to say.

One night I fall asleep in my bedroom,
I begin to dream of Tom, so vividly,
so happy to be driving with him in his car,
rockin' out to the music of AC/DC.

My best friend slips from wake to sleep,
helpless as his passenger I can only sit there,
Tom eventually falls completely asleep as he drives,
an unfortunate event I was chosen to share.


The road ahead shows an altered path of safety,
I can't change our course as we're about to crash,
a large oak is the end of our true and certain path,
I have no time to think as it all happens in a flash.

Suddenly upright in bed, extremely unnerved,
realizing it's a dream, but I'm not reassured,
can't believe it was only a dream and not reality,
so clear was what I saw as were the sounds I heard.

A few days pass and then I'm given the news,
I need to contact Tom's family immediately,
and when I call up to his sister the worst is said,
my dream the few nights before showed a true reality.

Here I sit alone next to your headstone,
amazed at the fact about AC/DC that played,
Hells Bells playing on the tape in the car,
and was the same song that my dream portrayed.

Now I marvel at the memories of the night in 1983,
the purpose in that star we saw a message was hid,
who knew your death was foretold in that moment,
when your part of the star burned out before mine did.
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 02-11-2005, 01:23 AM   #50 (permalink)
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And now for something completely different....

I've got an excellent idea! Let's change the subject!
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 02-11-2005, 01:38 AM   #51 (permalink)
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Beep.bop.ding.bang.
Techno music my speakers sang.
Clink.jingle.ring.ding.
This is the song they sing.

Whizz.Vroom.Doink.Pop.
Infected Mushroom just won't stop.
Zoop.bleep.bong.boom.
Awesome music fills the room.

Coil.Boing.Whirl.Whee.
Electronic music stirs inside of me.
Grind.Zap.Clip.Purr.
My thoughts are such a blur.

Zot.Zip.Bat.Ditt.Ditt.
I just can't get enough of this sh*t.
Whip.Pang.Grizz.Tink.Grend.
Too bad this is the end.
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 02-11-2005, 01:40 AM   #52 (permalink)
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Ok, the one above this is bizarre, I'll admit...some are old, like I said...some are new...again, everyone, try to see the beauty in each one. Thanks.
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 02-11-2005, 02:43 AM   #53 (permalink)
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Out Of Reach

Hello again Mr. Operator,
Can you please connect my line,
I hope you are doing well,
yes, today I'm doing just fine.

Please don't ignore me today, sir,
I really must get through,
tomorrow is worse than yesterday,
I just don't what to do.

No, today is fine, Mr. Operator,
I said tomorrow is worse, not today,
connect me as quick as you can,
please listen to what I have to say.

Sir, I need to get through right now,
to prevent tomorrow from its start,
you see, if I don't I'll lose someone,
a person very close to my heart.

Will you be quick now and do it in a rush,
Yes, I'm impatient in my hasty demand,
hurry, I can't explain right this very second,
even though I'm sure you'd never understand.

C'mon now, just put them on,
I don't need to explain to you why,
As soon as they're on the phone,
I can warn them that they're about to die.

Finally, thank you for your help,
no, no, no, it can't be too late,
I've attempted to alter the inevitable,
but there's no persuading Fate.

I only wonder could I have saved your life,
if I reached you just five minutes before,
can I prevent your death from happening,
or would I just prolong it for five minutes more?

Hey, Mr. Operator, try to connect me now,
rewind Time and lets change the end,
I'm sorry, I know we can get it right this time,
I'm just not ready to lose another friend.
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620

Last edited by Amnesia620; 11-23-2005 at 08:42 PM..
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Old 02-11-2005, 04:01 AM   #54 (permalink)
Illusionary
 
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I developed a song in my head about halfway through that last one......definately lends itself to rythm.

Quite nice....thank you
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Old 02-11-2005, 04:13 AM   #55 (permalink)
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Those were just thrown out there. I'm about to get into my storage and dig through all of my old folders...the classic stuff is soon to come.
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 02-11-2005, 04:16 AM   #56 (permalink)
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LOL. Mr. Operator makes me think of Hey, Mr. DJ now that I re-read it...lol...oh my...
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 02-11-2005, 06:25 AM   #57 (permalink)
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Your poems are great, I enjoyed reading them. I couldn't help but to notice the originality. Have you ever been published? You should try publishing a book, you definitely have talent.
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Old 02-11-2005, 10:30 AM   #58 (permalink)
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Thank you, Ironmaiden (awesome name, by the way).

You really think I have talent? I'm very flattered, honestly. I've often thought of becoming a writer - not only in poetry but stories as well. Over the years, I've just felt I've lost my gift...perhaps I'm wrong. I never thought I would get such a positive response on my work but I'm very happy that I have. Thank you.
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 02-11-2005, 07:52 PM   #59 (permalink)
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
Surreal Realm

Tarnished waters softly lap and sway,
liquid silver drifting under candy skies,
where tomorrow meets yesterday,
everything remains ignorant but wise.

Somewhere here leading nowhere there,
truthful deceit waits beyond those steps,
common secrets bottled in modest flair,
floating in stillness upon its watery depths.
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620

Last edited by Amnesia620; 11-23-2005 at 08:46 PM..
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Old 02-14-2005, 01:36 AM   #60 (permalink)
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The poem above is posted on one of the writing challenges (#4 maybe?). A door, open, surrounded by water...
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 02-18-2005, 10:06 PM   #61 (permalink)
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I found this next one written on a napkin (now copied and filed with the other ones) from 2-5 years ago...I remember I wrote it at Denny's Restaurant one night...Enjoy.
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Old 02-18-2005, 11:01 PM   #62 (permalink)
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A Mind's Eye

A simple tear in the time continuum,
A secret glance at the future near,
trying to understand what will occur,
just moments before time will catch up.

What if this is really how it's supposed to be,
maybe we've all blocked out our abilities and gifts,
although unique, the one's like mine,
may once have a chance to alter the unknown.

Could we and should we interfere in that realm,
has a higher power given us this to use,
is it an intentional gift to strengthen our will,
or a method to test our resistance to insanity?

Some don't believe me when I speak,
others choose to not listen to me,
a few laugh and others pretend to care,
occasionally I'm tested, to see if I'm a liar.

How can you say to a person the words of "I love you",
when they have never met you before,
but you know them in ways unimaginable,
as you've spent long hours with them in many dreams.

It's scary to think there is someone,
out there who knows you intimately,
someone who is there to catch you,
long before you know you will fall.

Am I supposed to catch as many as I can,
or just let them fall into the darkness,
is there a reason for my secret sight,
or is it a gift without explanation?

When in love, how should I forewarn,
think only with my head, never my heart,
for too many mistakes made, I now regret,
while interlocked in moments of passionate love.

Insecure eyes stay blind by a heart questioned,
visions now eternally silenced by still lips,
too unique for a common thing like love,
should I dare a chance once more in time?

To attempt a chance always able to kill,
striving to love and be loved the same,
true sight explained, life lived once before,
perhaps silence is a present virtue.
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620

Last edited by Amnesia620; 11-23-2005 at 08:48 PM..
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Old 02-24-2005, 03:39 AM   #63 (permalink)
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
Unfortunately, I have not been able to get to my storage recently. All of my old work is trapped there so lately I've been trying to write new stuff. However, this is easier said that done but I'm working on it. I appreciate patience, none-the-less.
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620

Last edited by Amnesia620; 02-24-2005 at 09:13 AM.. Reason: It's 4:30am, errors are gonna happen!
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Old 02-24-2005, 05:27 AM   #64 (permalink)
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In the above work.....(I had to read it twice) the theme is amazing. You have managed to express the turmoil of a wandering soul in such a way to make the reader wonder if they are indeed, a part of your path. I found the underlying question intriguing.

It is rare to get to "Work at" reading poetic verse, and I enjoyed it very much.

Thank You
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Old 02-24-2005, 09:17 AM   #65 (permalink)
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Awesome, tecoyah. You're very welcome. Another poem is soon to be posted. This one is a bit of a pain but it has impressed one of my best friends (who happens to have a genius-level I.Q. and is being considered for MENSA). Hopefully, when finished in a few hours, it will still live up to his standards...believe me, they're pretty high.
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Old 02-24-2005, 11:03 PM   #66 (permalink)
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Alright, I'm about ready to post this next poem...it took me forever. I'm talking over 12 hours...I've been working on it all day. What I'm posting is the rough draft so it may change over the next week +

Hey, everyone, don't let this poem intimidate you or make you feel stupid...It's totally NOT meant to make anyone feel inferior. These are just the ideas I get and I run with them.
If anyone feels it is a good idea i will post the definitions to the words I used in it so you can have a better understanding, don't hesitate to PM me or post on here to ask me or speak your mind.

In the poem you will read about a stilted sentence: It's a sentence made of large/complex words where smaller/easy words could have been used to express the same meaning. This happens to be my Stilted Poem.

Again, a poems beauty is shown by the words used...this one is complex.
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620

Last edited by Amnesia620; 02-24-2005 at 11:06 PM..
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Old 02-24-2005, 11:32 PM   #67 (permalink)
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Stilted In Tilted

I'm unable to imagine methods to your madness,
by evaluating actions and assessing their cost,
valuable moments in life you've eschewed and wasted,
many of those memories forever forgotten and lost.

I have not ascertained one single rhyme to your reason,
paronomastic languages are copiously punned,
all stilted sentences without subjects prove worthless,
any attempting linguist stays comprehensively stunned.

Cannot properly identify a spade as a spade,
objurgated opinions can create resentment,
becoming perplexed when you're abused and berated ,
avoid cavillous thoughts in fear of exacerbation.

Who am I to judge you as in a book by it's cover,
such duplicitous behaviour deserves revision,
every attempt to communicate is impious,
yet you're impervious to any threat of castigation.

Those ingrained with the perdurable mind over matter,
have blind faith in celestrial equivocations,
believing in what remains unrevealed and unseen ,
eternally resounding with vocal vindication.

Permanently reflecting that their old habits die hard,
some obscure and others in their own stage's limelight,
both lifestyles proportionate to their comfort level,
their soul's sins kept in secret will forever remain contrite.
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620

Last edited by Amnesia620; 11-23-2005 at 08:50 PM.. Reason: posted without editing/revision
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Old 02-25-2005, 01:30 AM   #68 (permalink)
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
  • Eschewed- to shun or avoid; as something distasteful.
  • ascertained - acquired, received, obtained.
  • paronomastic - punned, word play.
  • stilted - a sentence or paragraph consisting of large or complex words whereas a sentence with small/easier words with the same meanings could have been used.
  • linguist - person who speaks languages fluently.
  • comprehension - to understand, pondering; knowledge concepts understood
  • perception - interpretation, recognition based on memory.
  • objurgated - to express strong disapproval of (See also: Cavillous, Exacerbate, Castigate)
  • perplex - to confuse, befuddle, stump.
  • cavillous - to disapprove, show or voice disapproval.
  • berated - censure severely or censure angrily.
  • stifled - to suppress (as in a laugh, cough or yawn) or cover; to hide or temporarily smother.
  • exacerbate - to make worse, to egg on, negatively increase
  • duplicitous - to be hypocritical; two-faced; deceitful, dishonest.
  • impious - lacking due respect, dutifulness.
  • reparation - to repair, fix or correct
  • impervious - incapable of being penetrated or affected.
  • oblivious - completely unaware of, to ignore
  • castigate - to inflict severe punishment or to critize severely.
  • purdurable - very durable, withstanding, long lasting
  • equivocation - a statement not literally false but that clearly avoids unpleasant truth, intentionally vague or ambiguous; false by means of vague/ambiguous language. "to beat around the bush"
  • vindication - the defense to justify a claim or deed, such as in evidence or argument.
  • proportionate - agreeable in amount, magnitude or degree; corresponding.
  • contrite - feeling or expressing pain or sorrow for sins or offenses.
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620

Last edited by Amnesia620; 02-27-2005 at 09:43 AM..
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Old 02-25-2005, 06:13 AM   #69 (permalink)
Illusionary
 
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I think I have seen this form before....interesting, and complex, but I dont see the pattern in this one. Enlighten me please.
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Old 02-25-2005, 11:01 AM   #70 (permalink)
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Finally finished with it.

Alright...sorry about that, everyone who read that poem when it was first posted. I posted it and I hadn't even edited/revised it. Should be better now. Let me know what you think of it.
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620

Last edited by Amnesia620; 02-27-2005 at 09:10 AM.. Reason: Finished above poem.
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Old 03-04-2005, 01:46 PM   #71 (permalink)
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
In dedication to the ferret: Mischeif RIP Apr.04

So docile were you,
on that first day I held,
in my arms you rested,
as if somehow compelled.

Thoughts back in time,
to another world's view,
none of us, it seemed,
could get enough of you.

Tiny secret windows,
once displayed your memoir,
each shown as priceless,
when pain seared your core.

Branded in sorrow,
pain fades in time,
bitter hearts still express,
value life lost in its prime.

Enlightened by memories,
and excitement in your breath,
dark silence changes quickly,
to avoid the sad face of death.

Then the time came,
to which you were sure to comply,
in sorrowful hope we cringed,
from our torment of "good-bye".
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620

Last edited by Amnesia620; 03-04-2005 at 03:11 PM.. Reason: Title, dedication.
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Old 03-04-2005, 02:03 PM   #72 (permalink)
Illusionary
 
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That was extremely well done.
Compelling message and wonderful use of Rhyme....which is rare.
In my experience most Rhyming poems seem contrived, and lose a part of the message to conform. That is not the case here....fantastic.
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Old 03-04-2005, 02:08 PM   #73 (permalink)
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Thank you, tecoyah. Some of my best work is on this thread now...I hope that it continues to get better.
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 03-04-2005, 05:40 PM   #74 (permalink)
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
Baby Ashton

Kissing tiny fingers,
counting tiny toes,
this is the story,
this is how it goes.

New eyes see,
this new place,
peering upon,
a blurry face.

Time goes fast,
sure does fly,
See two there,
not sure why.

Give me love,
I need this,
Hold me close,
One more kiss.

One's my mom,
other lady - unsure,
lady has denied,
anyone but her.

I'm so little,
few months old,
mommy is warm,
lady is cold.

Oh mom why,
what'd I do,
lady is mean,
I want you.

Now I'm sad,
sob, cry, fuss,
lady hits mom,
she hurts us.

Mom's so lost,
an empty shell,
lady spanks me,
we're in Hell.

Mom's not home,
life almost lost,
late one night,
at my cost.

Mom's worried so,
Doc's only say,
all these rules,
mom's to obey.

I see Mom,
lady is upset,
calm down Mom,
please don't fret.

Few days later,
Grandpa has me,
I'm happy here,
he likes me.

Mom and lady,
discuss the drive,
I'm with Grandpa,
later I'll arrive.

Uh oh Mom,
lady just glared,
did Grandpa see,
Mom is scared.

Oh Grandpa insists,
let me stay,
lady says no,
it's all okay.

Evil lady's anger,
once it's begun,
damage so bad,
can't be undone.

Where am I,
there Mom stands,
she touches me,
I feel her hands.

The future's lost,
a struggle ahead,
where Mom goes,
I'm happily led.

This medical center,
helped me heal,
Mom is numb,
unable to feel.

People are here,
what Mommy why,
a new home
said as a sigh.

I saw Mom,
but not enough,
Mom missed me,
away was rough.

Grandpa and Mom,
love them so,
mine isn't home,
off I go.

Then one day,
Grandpa is here,
I'm looking around,
Mom's absence unclear.

They're both gone,
don't know why,
why'd they leave,
with no goodbye?
__________________
For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620

Last edited by Amnesia620; 11-23-2005 at 08:54 PM..
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Old 03-05-2005, 01:17 PM   #75 (permalink)
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
Please read my Journal. My post was about the 5 ferrets that my best-friend, Sean, and I have raised - as well as the ferret I got for my ex-roommate, Jennifer. If you are interested in reading about something I hold very near and dear to my heart, please feel free to view my Journal. Otherwise, I hope you continue to read my poetry, other threads of mine, my posts, etc. with enjoyment.
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620

Last edited by Amnesia620; 03-10-2005 at 08:00 PM.. Reason: To edit the reason.
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Old 03-10-2005, 07:53 PM   #76 (permalink)
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
Pieces & Parts

This is the work I did for Writing Challenge #7:

*inspired* by the very respectable poem "Oh, Captain! My Captain!"
(I mean no disrespect)

Oh Feet! My feet! Our tiresome trip was fun;
the shoes have weathered every rock, the journey we sought is done;
The seat is near, the dogs I hear, the people all exhausted,
While hollow thighs the steady heel, the laces slim and tearing:
But O hurt! hurt! hurt!
O the bleeding dye of red,
Where on the step my Foot lies,
Fallen cold and dead.
________________________________________________

My two bright, precious eyes,
their ability is one I hold dear,
the best two little simple spies,
every truth I see remains clear.

My sight stays sharp and stern,
both continuously work long hours,
visual lessons are theirs to learn,
all richness shown never sours.

Two portals to another time,
glossy until my one last breath,
forever regarded as sublime,
just moments before my death.
__________________
For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620

Last edited by Amnesia620; 11-23-2005 at 08:55 PM..
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Old 03-10-2005, 07:56 PM   #77 (permalink)
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
My work I did for Writing Challenge #8:

- The picture is black/white photo of an elderly couple, sittin' on the front porch. -


"What's that Ma? Hmm?
Huh? Who? What d'ja say?"
An old couple many years young,
and this funny game they play.

"Howdy there, friendly stranger,
kindly visiting to hear stories of old,
on this porch where our time's spent,"
the place these tales were first told.

"In my day, when I was youngin',"
the man said, forgetting the rest,
beware of lifetime's true tempo,
as it often erases memory's best.

Always walkin' uphill barefoot,
to a schoolhouse in the snow,
later generations roll their eyes,
to the fantastic stories of long ago.

"Now we ain't as young,
as we once use'ta be,"
the old man's hearing's gone,
his aging wife can barely see.

"Now, Jonathan, hush up,
'cause yer mumblin' again,
as my Pa woulda once said,
a quiet man is worth ten."

"Eh, Sarah? What's that now?"
Sarah looks over his way,
his deafness gets annoying,
her expression seemed to say.

"Sometimes, one of our sons,
visits with family in tow,
but youngin's and their energy,
for them, we move too slow."

"Both of our boys' are businessmen,
and they buy lots of nice things,
givin' us new watches or socks,
soft fingers display shiny gold rings."

"Our girls' all have forgotten,
the hardships endured of yore,
avoidin' us 'cause we embarrass,
makin' the truth easier to ignore."

A great time was had that day,
many stories they eagerly shared,
two elderly people were befriended,
by one kind stranger who cared.

In the moment the snapshot was taken,
during that unique and special day,
possessing a story all it's own,
precious words forever frozen this way.

Today, the stranger heard Sarah's news,
the picture the stranger endearly kept,
Johnathan's funeral was held last year,
last night Sarah died while she slept.

The stranger had become a loyal friend,
a vision that life's tempo is unable to erase,
strength empowered by the purity of love,
reflectively held in a kind strangers face.

And as we age and grey with time,
once a kind stranger, now I'm a friend,
friendship helps our old hearts to thrive,
so that their lessons live on without end.
__________________
For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 03-11-2005, 04:05 AM   #78 (permalink)
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
And now back to our regularly scheduled programing...
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For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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Old 03-18-2005, 03:56 AM   #79 (permalink)
Forget me not...
 
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
Eternal Yearning

It was the final day and final visit
we knew
playing the role of mother and son
me and you
on this day I saw all of myself
my son
in another person whose life
just begun
I couldn't tell the future on that day
truly unjust
for my only child or even myself
lost trust
to know the first true love of my life
my boy
the single shining star in my dark sky
of joy
would stay safe and be truly loved
without me.

I didn't know myself before this moment
could be
a woman standing with her strengths displayed
showing pride
living with the most painful choice left in life
to decide
good or bad or yes or no or right or wrong
too many
decisions of how and where to go from here
if any
roses were ever to bloom in the middle of winter
they were
meant to represent my new hopes and dreams
that reassure
a heart uncertain and doubt intruding upon me
a pattern
interrupting a life in which I'd grown accustomed to
never return.

On this day the words I never thought of saying
good-bye
are the only words at all that I can think of to say
but why
I'm forced saying them to the one person in my life
I'm told
to wait out each day to see how the unseen future
will unfold.
__________________
For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620

Last edited by Amnesia620; 11-23-2005 at 08:59 PM..
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Old 03-18-2005, 05:24 AM   #80 (permalink)
Forget me not...
 
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Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.
If I knew then what I know now,
I should've said,
what's in my head,
all that our time would allow.

A branch in wind must bend,
if not it'll break
for it's own sake,
certain damage unable to mend.

It's better to give than to receive,
gave my heart,
you tore it apart,
when you suddenly decided to leave.

If you had given me one little clue,
to what you meant,
in our time spent,
I'd still be the one without you.
__________________
For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620
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