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Old 12-05-2004, 12:02 AM   #1 (permalink)
Psycho
 
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Location: on my spinning computer chair
Love Puppet

She left me for some other guy, she played me like a puppet, I had given her the strings, it was my fault, and now, when the play is over, and the crowd is laughing, I am left to rot among the other trash. I feel like a love puppet.



Love Puppet

Dub me a toy that a player plays
Dub me a loser that’s never been loved,
All the stings I lined in array,
For the puppeteer on the stage above,
Feel good now that you’ve the crowds acclaim,
Of the play of the puppet you loved so claim.

Last edited by itch vaccine; 12-05-2004 at 06:38 AM..
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Old 12-05-2004, 07:40 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I really like how your anger is very subtle - you put the lines in array and the acclaim together - and it sends the picture, to me at least, of how she did whatever she could for approval of others. I'm glad this made me think a little harder about it. Thanks!
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Old 12-05-2004, 12:19 PM   #3 (permalink)
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thanks for appreciating, it helps the wound a bit.
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Old 12-05-2004, 08:34 PM   #4 (permalink)
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definitely a good piece. I'm a pretty tough critic of poetry too, I never really like it. I love the mental image you project, it's good. Thanks for that.
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Old 12-06-2004, 03:22 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sandinista
definitely a good piece. I'm a pretty tough critic of poetry too, I never really like it. I love the mental image you project, it's good. Thanks for that.
thank you
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Old 12-11-2004, 05:42 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I love puppets. Your poem reminds me of a King Crimson song! Anyway, it's very like and i good it.
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Old 12-11-2004, 06:24 AM   #7 (permalink)
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huh? Hahaha I take that as a compliment. thanks
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Old 12-11-2004, 11:35 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Location: Utah
Nice... funny how some words flow when there is pain behind them
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And as she plays,
her sweet song of laughter
floats through the air
and warms my heart
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Old 12-12-2004, 05:08 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Location: Where You Live.
It was a compliment. King Crimson Rock. The song was about a medieaval court i think...and the twist was everyone in it was puppets controlled by the jester....typical!
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Old 12-13-2004, 03:25 AM   #10 (permalink)
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mmmm, I didn't .. pass by that song.

I couldn't agree more J.R.V.A, .. words only come by when the heart is torn
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