Some things I just wrote - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Strange Famous · 09-18-2004, 05:34 AM

None of these I would call serious or anything, they are all things I just wrote down, about how I felt at the time:

Today, the sky was grey and threatened
Rain which did not come

Today I went through the motions
of life and you werent there

Today I drank too much and felt sorry
For myself, somewhat ashamed

Today threatened lightening
That did not come

Today I didnt kiss you, didn't
Wake up in your arms

Today I cried, while reading a tacky
love story on the internet

And no one was there to see
It didnt mean anything.

2

This evening tastes like the city
On a hot summer day
This wine is the color of blood
That lives inside of me
I closed my eyes and wished that I could be
Invisible, but
You held onto me

Oh, the world could end on a night like this
Come and stand in my arms
Close to me
Oh, the world could end on a night such as this
Rest your face on my chest
Let me kiss your hair

The air tonight is humming with distant static
Like an untuned radio
The old factory tonight, it is haunted
At the back of our street
By Yesterday
I closed my eyes and wished I could be infinite
Spread out, and you touched
My arm, lightly with your
Hand, and held me together,
All bound up.

And the world could end on a night like this
Let me hold you under the stars
And let us listen
To the city and the night
And let me kiss your hair
Because the stars are still there.

3

posted 04 September 2004 10:11 AM
We talk less and less these days
I dont remember how it started
I dont remember the exact point
Which we started to move away
From one another.

The distance now is not so great
With an effort we could close it
Hold on tighter to each other
But every day brings greater
difficulty.

And you, who I lived like an only
friend, will go whichever way you
always wanted, I'm sure. I guess I'll
Be ok, It isnt your fault, Im sure
Ive always been this way.

One day, we might walk past each other
In the street, and I wouldnt speak, I
might nod a little, or just pretend not to
See. It might hurt for a second, but not
Enough to change anything.

4

Mother
Another sunny day, another long sunny day.
I'll never forgive you for the words you never spoke to me.
When I think of you, its always linked to geography
Here is the greenhouse, here the hall closet, here the sandpit
Where I cut my knee, you gave me iodine, I smelled booze on you
Even now I cant hate you, it hurts my heart still to think
Of you small and unprotected, but what does it mean
What good can it do, you are of no value to me now.
You still meen something, but it diminishes each day.
I'll write you a poem, because there's nothing left to say

5

Sky Blood Red
Raining Fire
The sun has gone out.
An atrocity of light
Purges the earth

Tears that rupture,
your heart implodes
The world was supposed
To End in a Whimper
Not a bang.

Ashes, ashes, grey vision
Unseen, a pile of
Junk that was once a home
Is now blasted ruin, shapes
That mean nothing anymore.

6

Imaginery scars run all directions over my skin
Like a roadmap of all the places that I've been
Here is my father, here is a broken down car
Here is my mother, here an out of tune guitar.

My eyes are damp with all the tears I've never cried
When I lost love, hope, when my baby sister died
If I could cry one last time, I would cry for you all
If you ever cried for me, if you ever cried at all

My heart feels heavy with the doubt and mistrust
One day everything will be dust.
I never wanted to be the way I am, Never wanted to be unhappy
I should have smiled more, I should have been a different me.

My neck is aching, angular, waiting for a rope
Waiting for a parting, waiting for a note
Here is my father, here is a broken down car
Here is my mother, here is an out of tune guitar
Here is my sister, here is an unused pack of cards
Here is my gravestone, here is a mirror reduced to shards
Here is my love, here is a empty burnt out hard drive
Here is my world, here is a beautiful meadow filled with summer flowers and a warm pacifice blue sky, the distant sound of children's laughter, a late afternoon sky, and a grass stained boy running happily, a butterfly, the big old tree's that line the left of here, and the boy is running happily, and now is gone.

7

My Love, here, inside, everywhere
My love, dressed in a little black dress
And tennis shoes, with hair
That is different colours

My love, came to me like an Angel
Which is Greek for messanger
Appeared to me like an Angel
The message was always inside of me

My love, who doesnt understand
Why helicopters fly, who
Doesnt understand why homeless people
Have nowhere to go and no one to love

I was homeless too, some of the time
I was living here, my heart
Is just a muscles that pushes the blood
Round and round my body.

My love, you are the heart of my life
I want to kiss your finger tips
I want to sit with you, and drink diet soda
And watch crappy TV shows and
you will laugh when I make fun of them

My love, how can I explain, how can
I record in words, the feeling of being
together, the syncronisity (sic) of movement
The way it feels when you rest your arm
against mine, without thinking of it.

8

So, just be... and be

The windows in my home
All look outwards
The desk and the telephone
Always just sit there
Sometimes I feel I'll always be alone
When you're not here

The sky in my town is always grey
Except the sun
Occasionally lights the way
Long enough to get an idea
Of a childhood unused, memories, they
Suffocate sometimes

I keep remembering you, I cant forget
The way your hair felt, when I ran
My hands across it, unthinking, The
Shape of shoulder, the exact shade
of pacific of your eyes, all these
Things mean nothing because I
am dead.

9

Gasping, shuddering, crying
Inside, clinging to something
That falls apart in your
Hands. Gravity will be
Stronger.

Screaming, quaking, dying
Silently, a blanket
replaces your soul, to
Sleep forever and never
Dream.

Silence, a grey stone
Unseen, broken apart
People come to remember
But they really come here
To forget.

10

My love is like electric
My love is like he media
It's eveywhere

Babies are born
Thousands of times a
Day, in every land

For each baby, a light
Fot each baby, her media
his media, their
Electric

For each baby
Strange media
For each baby
Electric lights

11

wrapped in three layers of coat
I shiver down the garden path
Armed with a cricket stump
And the first become the last

Dead water, waiting to be reborn
Devoid of memory, knowledge.
The grass whitened by frost
The wind shouldered by the hedge

That runs by the left of me
Dead water, numb hands, heavy swing
there's something alive under here
I dont know, I dont know anything.

12

Days bleed into weeks
Years, I am dying
Why arent they screaming
Like me?

The sky burns with
Temporary power
So transient
So unsure

The school field
God, was it really
Twenty years ago?
Listen to the cries

Of yoy and children's games
It's always summer
The grass is hot and green
And the world was bigger

Now, as it contracts
I cannot believe the
Time has gone
I cannot tell where
The time has gone

God, was it really
Twenty Years ago? Such
Dread, excites, no words
Can tell how the sky
Looked back then
Sat in my back yard
The Trees beyond the
Neighbours fence
The Apple Tree
What does it mean
I know that it has
Gone, and it will
Never be again
And to think of it
Makes me cry, and
This is all that I
Can say

13

Dying, Life
Scraped Away
To Bones
And Decay

The Sky Darkens
A Storm Is
Coming, Terror
Gravity, A Kiss

A Great Velocity
Tearing From Night
Sky, The Stars Are
Bleeding, My Sight

Implodes, My Mouth
Is Full Of Worms
Cannot See, Cannot Feel
That The World Still Turns.

Cannot See, Cannot Think
Cannot Cry, Cannot Sink

14

The sky is spinning and tumbling
The ground is shaking and rumbling
My heart is cold and suddenly cold
My universe, my house, my world
Contract, the sea's are rising higher
The plants are all dying, the fire
has gutted everything, left only
Junk, and ashes, and nobody to see.

15
Grey summer, a clammering
Of noise and white against
A green background.

I can still remember
The exact texture and
Feel of your stocking

And my hand, a movie theater
Half empty, its never
Half full

My dreams I lay out before me
My castle is broken
My home is my castle
My castle is broken

I remember discoteqthes
In nylon flurescence
Sweating cheap booze

And the shape of a girl
In the eclectic night,
False dawn.

I remember the play park
Behind the shopping arcade
And 20 Silk Cut

Ultra. Still in her uniform
Jesus, would you look,
Would you look at this now?

I lay out my dreams before me
I swallow them
Drenched in sex and fear
I swallow them

Im starving for you.

maleficent · 09-18-2004, 06:15 AM

These are great -- the 1st and the 7th are my favorites.... Really well done --

Something else to include in your personal ad, you are definitely a poet.

J.R.V.A. · 09-18-2004, 07:09 AM

Yes, I agree. I enjoyed reding these. Thanks

amonkie · 09-19-2004, 07:12 AM

I really liked 6 and 11. Your sense of style works well in every poem. Thanks for sharing these with us

09-18-2004, 05:34 AM	#1 (permalink)
Strange Famous follower of the child's crusade?	Some things I just wrote None of these I would call serious or anything, they are all things I just wrote down, about how I felt at the time: Today, the sky was grey and threatened Rain which did not come Today I went through the motions of life and you werent there Today I drank too much and felt sorry For myself, somewhat ashamed Today threatened lightening That did not come Today I didnt kiss you, didn't Wake up in your arms Today I cried, while reading a tacky love story on the internet And no one was there to see It didnt mean anything. 2 This evening tastes like the city On a hot summer day This wine is the color of blood That lives inside of me I closed my eyes and wished that I could be Invisible, but You held onto me Oh, the world could end on a night like this Come and stand in my arms Close to me Oh, the world could end on a night such as this Rest your face on my chest Let me kiss your hair The air tonight is humming with distant static Like an untuned radio The old factory tonight, it is haunted At the back of our street By Yesterday I closed my eyes and wished I could be infinite Spread out, and you touched My arm, lightly with your Hand, and held me together, All bound up. And the world could end on a night like this Let me hold you under the stars And let us listen To the city and the night And let me kiss your hair Because the stars are still there. 3 posted 04 September 2004 10:11 AM We talk less and less these days I dont remember how it started I dont remember the exact point Which we started to move away From one another. The distance now is not so great With an effort we could close it Hold on tighter to each other But every day brings greater difficulty. And you, who I lived like an only friend, will go whichever way you always wanted, I'm sure. I guess I'll Be ok, It isnt your fault, Im sure Ive always been this way. One day, we might walk past each other In the street, and I wouldnt speak, I might nod a little, or just pretend not to See. It might hurt for a second, but not Enough to change anything. 4 Mother Another sunny day, another long sunny day. I'll never forgive you for the words you never spoke to me. When I think of you, its always linked to geography Here is the greenhouse, here the hall closet, here the sandpit Where I cut my knee, you gave me iodine, I smelled booze on you Even now I cant hate you, it hurts my heart still to think Of you small and unprotected, but what does it mean What good can it do, you are of no value to me now. You still meen something, but it diminishes each day. I'll write you a poem, because there's nothing left to say 5 Sky Blood Red Raining Fire The sun has gone out. An atrocity of light Purges the earth Tears that rupture, your heart implodes The world was supposed To End in a Whimper Not a bang. Ashes, ashes, grey vision Unseen, a pile of Junk that was once a home Is now blasted ruin, shapes That mean nothing anymore. 6 Imaginery scars run all directions over my skin Like a roadmap of all the places that I've been Here is my father, here is a broken down car Here is my mother, here an out of tune guitar. My eyes are damp with all the tears I've never cried When I lost love, hope, when my baby sister died If I could cry one last time, I would cry for you all If you ever cried for me, if you ever cried at all My heart feels heavy with the doubt and mistrust One day everything will be dust. I never wanted to be the way I am, Never wanted to be unhappy I should have smiled more, I should have been a different me. My neck is aching, angular, waiting for a rope Waiting for a parting, waiting for a note Here is my father, here is a broken down car Here is my mother, here is an out of tune guitar Here is my sister, here is an unused pack of cards Here is my gravestone, here is a mirror reduced to shards Here is my love, here is a empty burnt out hard drive Here is my world, here is a beautiful meadow filled with summer flowers and a warm pacifice blue sky, the distant sound of children's laughter, a late afternoon sky, and a grass stained boy running happily, a butterfly, the big old tree's that line the left of here, and the boy is running happily, and now is gone. 7 My Love, here, inside, everywhere My love, dressed in a little black dress And tennis shoes, with hair That is different colours My love, came to me like an Angel Which is Greek for messanger Appeared to me like an Angel The message was always inside of me My love, who doesnt understand Why helicopters fly, who Doesnt understand why homeless people Have nowhere to go and no one to love I was homeless too, some of the time I was living here, my heart Is just a muscles that pushes the blood Round and round my body. My love, you are the heart of my life I want to kiss your finger tips I want to sit with you, and drink diet soda And watch crappy TV shows and you will laugh when I make fun of them My love, how can I explain, how can I record in words, the feeling of being together, the syncronisity (sic) of movement The way it feels when you rest your arm against mine, without thinking of it. 8 So, just be... and be The windows in my home All look outwards The desk and the telephone Always just sit there Sometimes I feel I'll always be alone When you're not here The sky in my town is always grey Except the sun Occasionally lights the way Long enough to get an idea Of a childhood unused, memories, they Suffocate sometimes I keep remembering you, I cant forget The way your hair felt, when I ran My hands across it, unthinking, The Shape of shoulder, the exact shade of pacific of your eyes, all these Things mean nothing because I am dead. 9 Gasping, shuddering, crying Inside, clinging to something That falls apart in your Hands. Gravity will be Stronger. Screaming, quaking, dying Silently, a blanket replaces your soul, to Sleep forever and never Dream. Silence, a grey stone Unseen, broken apart People come to remember But they really come here To forget. 10 My love is like electric My love is like he media It's eveywhere Babies are born Thousands of times a Day, in every land For each baby, a light Fot each baby, her media his media, their Electric For each baby Strange media For each baby Electric lights 11 wrapped in three layers of coat I shiver down the garden path Armed with a cricket stump And the first become the last Dead water, waiting to be reborn Devoid of memory, knowledge. The grass whitened by frost The wind shouldered by the hedge That runs by the left of me Dead water, numb hands, heavy swing there's something alive under here I dont know, I dont know anything. 12 Days bleed into weeks Years, I am dying Why arent they screaming Like me? The sky burns with Temporary power So transient So unsure The school field God, was it really Twenty years ago? Listen to the cries Of yoy and children's games It's always summer The grass is hot and green And the world was bigger Now, as it contracts I cannot believe the Time has gone I cannot tell where The time has gone God, was it really Twenty Years ago? Such Dread, excites, no words Can tell how the sky Looked back then Sat in my back yard The Trees beyond the Neighbours fence The Apple Tree What does it mean I know that it has Gone, and it will Never be again And to think of it Makes me cry, and This is all that I Can say 13 Dying, Life Scraped Away To Bones And Decay The Sky Darkens A Storm Is Coming, Terror Gravity, A Kiss A Great Velocity Tearing From Night Sky, The Stars Are Bleeding, My Sight Implodes, My Mouth Is Full Of Worms Cannot See, Cannot Feel That The World Still Turns. Cannot See, Cannot Think Cannot Cry, Cannot Sink 14 The sky is spinning and tumbling The ground is shaking and rumbling My heart is cold and suddenly cold My universe, my house, my world Contract, the sea's are rising higher The plants are all dying, the fire has gutted everything, left only Junk, and ashes, and nobody to see. 15 Grey summer, a clammering Of noise and white against A green background. I can still remember The exact texture and Feel of your stocking And my hand, a movie theater Half empty, its never Half full My dreams I lay out before me My castle is broken My home is my castle My castle is broken I remember discoteqthes In nylon flurescence Sweating cheap booze And the shape of a girl In the eclectic night, False dawn. I remember the play park Behind the shopping arcade And 20 Silk Cut Ultra. Still in her uniform Jesus, would you look, Would you look at this now? I lay out my dreams before me I swallow them Drenched in sex and fear I swallow them Im starving for you. __________________ "Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate, for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain without being uncovered." The Gospel of Thomas

09-18-2004, 06:15 AM	#2 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	These are great -- the 1st and the 7th are my favorites.... Really well done -- Something else to include in your personal ad, you are definitely a poet. __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

09-18-2004, 07:09 AM	#3 (permalink)
J.R.V.A. Junkie Location: Utah	Yes, I agree. I enjoyed reding these. Thanks __________________ And as she plays, her sweet song of laughter floats through the air and warms my heart

09-19-2004, 07:12 AM	#4 (permalink)
amonkie Drifting Administrator Location: Windy City	I really liked 6 and 11. Your sense of style works well in every poem. Thanks for sharing these with us __________________ Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna