KirStang

Ahh...i wrote this last night. The first two lines are from a song, but it served as inspiration for the rest of the poem. I was going for a more melodic and imagery appealing approach.

Pure Bliss

Dreaming Of sunrise
Drifting out to sea
White sands greet the morning
while you lay in bed

Palm trees sway in the breeze
while blue skies put you to ease
The warm sun on your back
taking you way back

To times that were better
to times that were sweeter
to the time where you met her
to the time when you knew her
to a time where she would smile
and everything felt worthwhile

There is a smile on my face
while my mind is at another place
Dreaming of her sweet kiss
such feelings i do miss
It is the feeling of

Pure bliss


Tell me what you think!

amonkie

that gave me goosebumps... and it's hot here! the "Smile on my face while my mind is at another place" really set the mood of the poem for me Creative way to say starry eyed

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Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

Stillborn

That was great, man!

Though I'd get rid of the : on the next-to-last line. It's unnecessary.

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Waiting... to be born again

Wanting... the saddest kind of pain
Waiting for the day when I will crawl away

KirStang

Thanks for the feedback!

Yea i was thinking if i should put that there too...i ended up keeping it, but it's gone now

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Dawson70

Another great poem in the forum.
It took me to a white sand beaches off the coast of Flordia.
Very romantic. Good Job.

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Yippie Ki Ya...