A poem -- The Darkness in me - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Mavric98 · 07-18-2004, 12:56 PM

Of all things

Of all the things, I love the most
Could never be described in a toast
When I look into your eyes, let it be known
That you see what no one else is shown.

I love you for things, no words can explain
On such a simple earthly plain
I love you beyond your heart and mind
I love you beyond all of time.

I love you with all of me
I only hope you can see
That my love for you is truer than life
I only wish you were my wife

The Darkness in me

The world be a moonless night
Filled with darkness surrounding tiny specs of light
Satellites shine brighter than the brightest star
Making us forget what they are

Darkness encumbers all of hope
As clouds lather the sky like soap
Soon there be no light to see
And soon all faith will drop to a knee

Darkness now covers all of light
What was once reached for is now out of sight
Hope be gone like the dreams
For now nothing is what it seems

Darkness dissipates before my eyes
Now only one star illuminates the skys
The clouds be no match for thee
Finally I found the star for me

Darkness had lost or so I thought
The light from my star would be for naught
For darkness still had one trick up its sleeve
My star left and left the darkness in me

SixEdxMia · 07-18-2004, 02:12 PM

Very nice Mavric,Sad but sweet, Did you write it?

tecoyah · 07-18-2004, 02:17 PM

Nicely done....would love to see what you could do without the constraints of Rhyme.

amonkie · 07-18-2004, 10:09 PM

I really like your last stanza, after all the imagery in the previous ones, those last two lines just paint a perfect mental picture for me.

ender0333 · 07-19-2004, 12:51 PM

I like it. Could relate to lots of things in life.

Mavric98 · 07-19-2004, 11:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SixEdxMia
Very nice Mavric,Sad but sweet, Did you write it?

Yes.

Thanks everybody for all your nice comments.

Dawson70 · 08-03-2004, 08:05 PM

Excellent....bravo!
Pure and from the heart. Good stuff

riptide4070 · 08-24-2004, 04:57 AM

Very good work! I like to rhyme a lot as well when I write.

Mavric98 · 06-21-2005, 05:59 PM

Added another poem

K-Wise · 07-03-2005, 11:28 PM

Well I enjoyed both. I too like to rhyme..I think I may be confined to it lol. But yes good pieces definitely genuine.

Asta!!

07-18-2004, 12:56 PM	#1 (permalink)
Mavric98 Tilted Location: I am not living.	Poems -- Of all things,The Darkness in me Of all things Of all the things, I love the most Could never be described in a toast When I look into your eyes, let it be known That you see what no one else is shown. I love you for things, no words can explain On such a simple earthly plain I love you beyond your heart and mind I love you beyond all of time. I love you with all of me I only hope you can see That my love for you is truer than life I only wish you were my wife The Darkness in me The world be a moonless night Filled with darkness surrounding tiny specs of light Satellites shine brighter than the brightest star Making us forget what they are Darkness encumbers all of hope As clouds lather the sky like soap Soon there be no light to see And soon all faith will drop to a knee Darkness now covers all of light What was once reached for is now out of sight Hope be gone like the dreams For now nothing is what it seems Darkness dissipates before my eyes Now only one star illuminates the skys The clouds be no match for thee Finally I found the star for me Darkness had lost or so I thought The light from my star would be for naught For darkness still had one trick up its sleeve My star left and left the darkness in me __________________ "Hope is for people that don't stand a chance." Last edited by Mavric98; 06-21-2005 at 05:59 PM.. Reason: Added Poem

07-18-2004, 02:12 PM	#2 (permalink)
SixEdxMia <3 Peetster Location: Peetster's house.	Very nice Mavric,Sad but sweet, Did you write it? __________________ Honey,We're home.

07-18-2004, 02:17 PM	#3 (permalink)
tecoyah Illusionary	Nicely done....would love to see what you could do without the constraints of Rhyme. __________________ Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

07-18-2004, 10:09 PM	#4 (permalink)
amonkie Drifting Administrator Location: Windy City	I really like your last stanza, after all the imagery in the previous ones, those last two lines just paint a perfect mental picture for me. __________________ Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

08-03-2004, 08:05 PM	#7 (permalink)
Dawson70 Here to Help My Fellow TFP'er Location: All over the Net....(ok Wisconsin)	Excellent....bravo! Pure and from the heart. Good stuff __________________ "I Finally Finished My Goal....You Can Too! Yippie Ki Ya...

07-19-2004, 12:51 PM	#5 (permalink)
ender0333 Upright	I like it. Could relate to lots of things in life.

08-24-2004, 04:57 AM	#8 (permalink)
riptide4070 Addict Location: Boone, NC	Very good work! I like to rhyme a lot as well when I write. __________________ "the greatest trick the devil ever pulled, was making the world believe he didn't exist" -Kevin Spacey 'The Usual Suspects'

06-21-2005, 05:59 PM	#9 (permalink)
Mavric98 Tilted Location: I am not living.	Added another poem __________________ "Hope is for people that don't stand a chance."

07-03-2005, 11:28 PM	#10 (permalink)
K-Wise It's All About The Ass!! Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!	Well I enjoyed both. I too like to rhyme..I think I may be confined to it lol. But yes good pieces definitely genuine. Asta!! __________________ "I love music and it's my parents fault (closing statement)." - Me..quoting myself...from when I said that...On TFP..thats here...Tilted Forum Project *It ain't goodbye, it's see ya later! I'll miss you guys!* - Asta!!