my first try at real "poetry" attemp

[tokaok]

here is my feeble attempt
any comments both positive or negative are welcome, dont worry about hurting me by saying its sucks but i'd appreciate any help as to making it better.


Needs a title by Me

I once was lost but now im found
my hope my faith to be world renowned

i dabbled here there in this and that
never holding enough to last

in my hubris i never saw myself falling
merely the walls slowly enclosing

a familiar hand outstreched to help
myself too proud, the arrogant whelp

and so all things around me came crashing down
with them my weights and chains unbound

I once was lost but now im found
i walk now at last on firmer ground



ps the lack of real punctuationis just lazyness not any real deep meaning.

[Seer666]

I myself almost never use punctuation in poetry. If the words themself ring true, it really isn't needed. I like this one. The meaning is pretty clear cut, and it flows nicely. If this was your first, keep at it!

[ForgottenKnight]

I like it. It flows and the meaning is clear. Thanks for sharing.