death of a girl - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Dixie · 11-30-2003, 09:00 AM

it begins with the worm of jealousy
writhing in agonizing contortions
in the pulp of the heart
devouring truths and memories
until the fabric of once-love
is nothing more than a riddled rag
that slips through the fingers
of forgiveness
and forever reeks of betrayel
the heart, in mortal spasms calls
out to the mind and body
it's life flashing before
dying eyes
remembering in lover's fashion
the adoration
and the passion
thus it beats much faster now
pouring forth blood-washed scenes
recited once in love
now gasping in the flood
pleading to be reborn
only to suffocate slowly amidst
the filth and the wreckage
of the dying heart
poison blackens what remains
hate turns the heart to ash
curdles the blood
still in the veins
one last feeble beat
this, too, shall pass?

Esen · 11-30-2003, 09:23 AM

who knows it could pass

I enjoyed your poem

J.R.V.A. · 12-02-2003, 07:51 AM

I liked it too... Thanks for sharing

riptide4070 · 12-05-2003, 05:53 PM

I'm sad right now, but reading your work and doing some of my own writing is helping. Thanks

fallen_angel · 12-23-2003, 09:03 PM

that was absolutly beautiful. your words flow so easily off the tongue, without straining to understand what you are saying, because your words are so simple and honest. thankyou

ForgottenKnight · 12-23-2003, 10:26 PM

Beautiful work. Thanks for sharing!

Jadey · 12-24-2003, 09:10 PM

I thought that was fantastic. Though I think it could be a little easier to read if you used some punctuation or capitalization.

I look forward to reading more of your work.

11-30-2003, 09:00 AM	#1 (permalink)
Dixie Psycho Location: the land of cotton	death of a girl it begins with the worm of jealousy writhing in agonizing contortions in the pulp of the heart devouring truths and memories until the fabric of once-love is nothing more than a riddled rag that slips through the fingers of forgiveness and forever reeks of betrayel the heart, in mortal spasms calls out to the mind and body it's life flashing before dying eyes remembering in lover's fashion the adoration and the passion thus it beats much faster now pouring forth blood-washed scenes recited once in love now gasping in the flood pleading to be reborn only to suffocate slowly amidst the filth and the wreckage of the dying heart poison blackens what remains hate turns the heart to ash curdles the blood still in the veins one last feeble beat this, too, shall pass? __________________ talk is cheap, so i buy every word you said. scared me half to death, now i'm half dead.

11-30-2003, 09:23 AM	#2 (permalink)
Esen TFPer formaly known as Chauncey Location: North East	who knows it could pass I enjoyed your poem __________________ ~Esen What is everyone doing in my room?

12-02-2003, 07:51 AM	#3 (permalink)
J.R.V.A. Junkie Location: Utah	I liked it too... Thanks for sharing __________________ And as she plays, her sweet song of laughter floats through the air and warms my heart

12-05-2003, 05:53 PM	#4 (permalink)
riptide4070 Addict Location: Boone, NC	I'm sad right now, but reading your work and doing some of my own writing is helping. Thanks __________________ "the greatest trick the devil ever pulled, was making the world believe he didn't exist" -Kevin Spacey 'The Usual Suspects'

12-23-2003, 09:03 PM	#5 (permalink)
fallen_angel Psycho Location: Somewhere between the Havens and the Earth	that was absolutly beautiful. your words flow so easily off the tongue, without straining to understand what you are saying, because your words are so simple and honest. thankyou __________________ from the Havens I have fallen. . . to the earth as a mangled form. . . writhing in pain, my wings torn and bloodied. . . I have one purpose, only one goal. . . to find you and love you, for I am your. . . fallen angel

12-23-2003, 10:26 PM	#6 (permalink)
ForgottenKnight Jesus Freak Location: Following the light...	Beautiful work. Thanks for sharing! __________________ "People say I'm strange, does that make me a stranger?"

12-24-2003, 09:10 PM	#7 (permalink)
Jadey This Space For Rent Location: Davenport, Iowa	I thought that was fantastic. Though I think it could be a little easier to read if you used some punctuation or capitalization. I look forward to reading more of your work.