My first and last attempt at a story.
 

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And you realize that is'nt your fingers.......

WOOWWWEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

Hmmmmmmmmmm.....

I really hope this is'nt your last story....And you said you could'nt write

the close personal emphasis and attention to detail are what makes writing such a deep psychological experience. this is a real cool example of very focused work.
thanks!

very well done. I love it.. You really should write more..

That was a great read. Enough build-up to the action without drawing the story out too long. Very intense.

Thank you all for your feed back. I still keep coming back and tinkering with pulling it off the board but something keeps me keeping it here. heh

................damn and my girlfriend's at school!!!

Very nice, I could put myself right there with you.

well written, excellent sensory detail, and very provocative. just reading it made me wish.......well, nevermind, but don't stop writing with this one

Don't pull it down, it's probably the best written thing on here. It would be a tragedy if you didn't write more. Trust me, I'm a professional :)

the story was excellent! something about the style of writing that really keeps you interested. I hope you keep up the great work, I only wish i could write that well. Thanks!

That was an excelent piece of writing. Amazing use of words, that almost made me feel as if I was there watching you. Keep on writing, that was great, thanks.