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-   -   My first and last attempt at a story. (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-literature/32629-my-first-last-attempt-story.html)

Angel 10-21-2003 07:14 PM

My first and last attempt at a story.
 
*

J.R.V.A. 10-21-2003 07:22 PM

And you realize that is'nt your fingers.......

WOOWWWEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

Hmmmmmmmmmm.....

I really hope this is'nt your last story....And you said you could'nt write

ARTelevision 10-22-2003 12:50 AM

the close personal emphasis and attention to detail are what makes writing such a deep psychological experience. this is a real cool example of very focused work.
thanks!

losthellhound 10-23-2003 11:25 AM

very well done. I love it.. You really should write more..

mb99usa 10-23-2003 11:33 AM

That was a great read. Enough build-up to the action without drawing the story out too long. Very intense.

Angel 10-23-2003 03:31 PM

Thank you all for your feed back. I still keep coming back and tinkering with pulling it off the board but something keeps me keeping it here. heh

xim 02-21-2004 09:09 AM

................damn and my girlfriend's at school!!!

absorbentishe 02-21-2004 06:04 PM

Very nice, I could put myself right there with you.

bacon_masta 02-22-2004 02:22 PM

well written, excellent sensory detail, and very provocative. just reading it made me wish.......well, nevermind, but don't stop writing with this one

flamingdog 03-16-2004 09:50 AM

Don't pull it down, it's probably the best written thing on here. It would be a tragedy if you didn't write more. Trust me, I'm a professional :)

Disco Stu 04-12-2004 01:27 PM

the story was excellent! something about the style of writing that really keeps you interested. I hope you keep up the great work, I only wish i could write that well. Thanks!

matteo101 04-12-2004 03:53 PM

That was an excelent piece of writing. Amazing use of words, that almost made me feel as if I was there watching you. Keep on writing, that was great, thanks.


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