You
 

You

She opens her curtains
and lets the sun-shine through
The sun rays warm her body
While she thinks of you
The crystal near the window
forms rainbows on her wall
The overwhelming feeling
Does she know you at all?

The sun is setting
and the day is dieing
Where were you
when she was crying?

It begins to rain
The sky turns dark
She tries to hide
Her broken heart
Her room is dark
The light down low
She wonders if
You even know

The sun is setting
and the day is dieing
Where were you
when she was crying?

wow, thats really touching. it made me cry. great stuff man.

Very good

I liked that a lot......you have a way of writing a lot like my own. Great work:)

I like how the room reflects her emotions

"The crystal near the window forms rainbows on her wall"

I love this line! It grabs me and pulls me through.

Nice work. :)

I wish I had something better to say than amazing... but I don't. Your stuff is really good, your meter is beautiful and your presence is undeniable, keep writing.

The way you repeat the refrain really pulls the reader into it... it makes me feel almost anxious. Excellent stuff.

Those first six lines pulled me in...very hopeful.
then...
the regret.

keep on

Thank you all for your kind comments.

*Nikki*
I've noticed the same thing

Great poem, I like the rhyme, it doesn't seem forced.

Cheers,
JD

I love this one. This poem is one of my favorites probably because I've been there. It is so insightful and I feel like you have found a way to tell others in such beautiful words. Whenever I try to express feeling like that I turn bitter and I just can't.