Tainted- Poem - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Angellus · 07-07-2003, 06:31 AM

Tainted

I have been tainted.
Noone will want me now.
Noone will want what comes with
Being tainted.

My blood carrys it,
My body quivers with it,
My brain knows it,
My heart recirculates it.

The taintedness.
Each breath with a memeory of you
Retaints it.

Until it becomes thicker,
Darker, murkier.
Then it grabs hold and chokes.
Killing from the inside out…..
This murderous taint.

J.R.V.A. · 07-08-2003, 06:13 AM

I know how you feel....
Like a song I heard once, It's always dark before the dawn
Thanks

Esen · 09-03-2003, 02:04 PM

That Is a really good Poem.
Real feeling!

More please

Eowyn_Vala · 09-03-2003, 05:16 PM

I like a lot!

fallen_angel · 09-03-2003, 05:20 PM

The flash backs that that created for me are horrific, because of my own experiences. I am very moved. thankyou.

dylanmarsh · 09-07-2003, 05:30 PM

I'm sorry to say that I found nothing intriguing about your poem. The piece needs more concrete details and less abstraction. Who is this about, etc. Mix up the langauge more and give it something that would lend to a more universal meaning. Right now I dont know who this about and dont care. Give me a reason to care.

Esen · 09-08-2003, 02:37 AM

DylanMarsh
I got more of the impression that the poem is aout themselves and that the other person they are referring to is secondary, its the aftermath that they are talkingabout. the poison lasts a long time.
I see it as beiong a part of the first person and how now they are damaged goods .

We all get different things out of peoples writigs.
got me it was a great piece,
Maybe you just cant relate to this particular writing

07-07-2003, 06:31 AM	#1 (permalink)
Angellus Upright Location: bathurst	Tainted- Poem Tainted I have been tainted. Noone will want me now. Noone will want what comes with Being tainted. My blood carrys it, My body quivers with it, My brain knows it, My heart recirculates it. The taintedness. Each breath with a memeory of you Retaints it. Until it becomes thicker, Darker, murkier. Then it grabs hold and chokes. Killing from the inside out….. This murderous taint. __________________ Angels are like diamonds, Rare to find and not always pure. But if you look hard enough there will be a perfect one.

07-08-2003, 06:13 AM	#2 (permalink)
J.R.V.A. Junkie Location: Utah	I know how you feel.... Like a song I heard once, It's always dark before the dawn Thanks __________________ And as she plays, her sweet song of laughter floats through the air and warms my heart

09-03-2003, 02:04 PM	#3 (permalink)
Esen TFPer formaly known as Chauncey Location: North East	That Is a really good Poem. Real feeling! More please __________________ ~Esen What is everyone doing in my room?

09-03-2003, 05:16 PM	#4 (permalink)
Eowyn_Vala Insane Location: There's no place like home..	I like a lot! __________________ Cain: I know what you're doing. I've lead troops into battle before. DG: And, how am I doing? Cain: Well, there's less hugging when I do it

09-03-2003, 05:20 PM	#5 (permalink)
fallen_angel Psycho Location: Somewhere between the Havens and the Earth	The flash backs that that created for me are horrific, because of my own experiences. I am very moved. thankyou. __________________ from the Havens I have fallen. . . to the earth as a mangled form. . . writhing in pain, my wings torn and bloodied. . . I have one purpose, only one goal. . . to find you and love you, for I am your. . . fallen angel

09-07-2003, 05:30 PM	#6 (permalink)
dylanmarsh Sleepy Head	I'm sorry to say that I found nothing intriguing about your poem. The piece needs more concrete details and less abstraction. Who is this about, etc. Mix up the langauge more and give it something that would lend to a more universal meaning. Right now I dont know who this about and dont care. Give me a reason to care.

09-08-2003, 02:37 AM	#7 (permalink)
Esen TFPer formaly known as Chauncey Location: North East	DylanMarsh I got more of the impression that the poem is aout themselves and that the other person they are referring to is secondary, its the aftermath that they are talkingabout. the poison lasts a long time. I see it as beiong a part of the first person and how now they are damaged goods . We all get different things out of peoples writigs. got me it was a great piece, Maybe you just cant relate to this particular writing __________________ ~Esen What is everyone doing in my room?