An Invitation - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Jadey · 04-19-2003, 12:45 AM

This was a little rushed, but in an effort to get something back onto the Lit Forum, here we go.

Let me know if I should even give this another look, or not even bother.

Standing.
Nearly swept away
By a host of unswaying feeling,
Nay emotion.
Embodied by the empowerment of egotistical enigmas
Inexplicable because of a mere wink
And a smile.
A glitter in her eye
Invoking a sudden gust of…
Desire?

I watch her across the room,
Alone
In a strange place
Unfamiliar with the mocking pedestrian
Along the road to affection
Waiting at the wayside for a sign
An act,
A gesture.

Indefinately indifferent
Oblivious to the ocular omnipotence of
My over-ogling.
Cultivated by the cacophony of a cavalcade of cretins
One after another tossed aside as nonchalantly as a used tissue
Telling me to try this tepid treasure emanating an aura of sincerity and chastity.
Trembling

Here I stand.
Looking for a glance.
A word.
A gesture.

Hopeless hope.
Intimidated by the thought.
A contradiction of senses,
Of scenes.
Scenic censorship solid in salute,
Nary swayed by the solace of a solution,
Often forsaken
By the absoluteness
Of the enormity of her smile,
Her invitation.

redravin40 · 04-19-2003, 05:28 AM

some great word combinations and images Jadey. Wondering though at what tone you want to set? Some parts are touching but others seem more humorous. Thanks for sharing. Great to have the lit. board back.

Angel · 04-19-2003, 07:40 AM

I read a whole flood of moods with this. Which is precisely what one feels when waiting the "invitation."
I, as Red did, caught heart and humor.

Thanks for helping to get the lit board back to life.

little limey · 04-21-2003, 08:48 AM

There is definatley an upbeat tone to this, even if the words are not completely upbeat.

J.R.V.A. · 04-21-2003, 02:07 PM

Dont even bother.....Lol,just kidding, I THINK ITS GREAT THE WAY IT IS!!! Great writing, more more!!!

Jadey · 04-22-2003, 09:36 PM

Thanks for the encouragement. i guess it is kind of jumbled emotionally. I just started writing and tried to go with what I was thinking, but I guess I had too many conflicting ideas going on in my head.

Oh well, it gives me something to work on.

QuasiMojo · 04-25-2003, 04:27 PM

reminds me of Speed poetry...
"jus' gotta get it out"
Is this a case of unrequited lustfulness
or....

Love to see more!

04-19-2003, 12:45 AM	#1 (permalink)
Jadey This Space For Rent Location: Davenport, Iowa	An Invitation This was a little rushed, but in an effort to get something back onto the Lit Forum, here we go. Let me know if I should even give this another look, or not even bother. Standing. Nearly swept away By a host of unswaying feeling, Nay emotion. Embodied by the empowerment of egotistical enigmas Inexplicable because of a mere wink And a smile. A glitter in her eye Invoking a sudden gust of… Desire? I watch her across the room, Alone In a strange place Unfamiliar with the mocking pedestrian Along the road to affection Waiting at the wayside for a sign An act, A gesture. Indefinately indifferent Oblivious to the ocular omnipotence of My over-ogling. Cultivated by the cacophony of a cavalcade of cretins One after another tossed aside as nonchalantly as a used tissue Telling me to try this tepid treasure emanating an aura of sincerity and chastity. Trembling Here I stand. Looking for a glance. A word. A gesture. Hopeless hope. Intimidated by the thought. A contradiction of senses, Of scenes. Scenic censorship solid in salute, Nary swayed by the solace of a solution, Often forsaken By the absoluteness Of the enormity of her smile, Her invitation.

04-19-2003, 07:40 AM	#3 (permalink)
Angel Naughty Just Right Location: Euphoria	I read a whole flood of moods with this. Which is precisely what one feels when waiting the "invitation." I, as Red did, caught heart and humor. Thanks for helping to get the lit board back to life. __________________ In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer. ~Albert Camus

04-21-2003, 02:07 PM	#5 (permalink)
J.R.V.A. Junkie Location: Utah	Dont even bother.....Lol,just kidding, I THINK ITS GREAT THE WAY IT IS!!! Great writing, more more!!! __________________ And as she plays, her sweet song of laughter floats through the air and warms my heart

04-25-2003, 04:27 PM	#7 (permalink)
QuasiMojo King Knave Location: Lancaster	reminds me of Speed poetry... "jus' gotta get it out" Is this a case of unrequited lustfulness or.... Love to see more! __________________ AzAbOv ZoBeLoE

04-19-2003, 05:28 AM	#2 (permalink)
redravin40 Loser Location: With Jadzia	some great word combinations and images Jadey. Wondering though at what tone you want to set? Some parts are touching but others seem more humorous. Thanks for sharing. Great to have the lit. board back.

04-21-2003, 08:48 AM	#4 (permalink)
little limey Psycho Location: Room Nineteen	There is definatley an upbeat tone to this, even if the words are not completely upbeat.

04-22-2003, 09:36 PM	#6 (permalink)
Jadey This Space For Rent Location: Davenport, Iowa	Thanks for the encouragement. i guess it is kind of jumbled emotionally. I just started writing and tried to go with what I was thinking, but I guess I had too many conflicting ideas going on in my head. Oh well, it gives me something to work on.