cierah

So, my summer was interesting in that I ended up with a long distance relationship. He is in Ontario and I am in Sask. We were good friends - we talked all the time - since we met in the begining of summer and only recently hooked up. We are now in our respective parts of the country and have been communicating via phone calls. We both knew that this would be hard but neither one expected it to be this hard. I was merely wondering if any of you great gods of the internet had any advice for a long distance relationship. Thanks.

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Xazy

Be willing to accept how hard it is.. Trust. And have a lot to chat about. Thankfully long distance charges do not cost much these days.

I had aa long distance relationship with my better half, for 3 years, now we have been happily married for 20 months now.

abaya

Xazy, you rock... way to inspire me and my SO.

Cierah, have you done a search on this topic? I have a feeling there's 1-2 other threads on the topic. I couldn't give much better (or more succinct) advice than Xazy has done... my SO and I are bound to be long-distance for another year or two at least, after already having been apart for 6 months (half of that was a stretch of me being overseas and not seeing him the whole time), and there's so much to learn.

IT SUCKS, no doubt. But it's not insurmountable. Work hard on making things feasible (see each other as often as you can), and definitely develop phone/MSN conversation skills! LDR's are a really good opportunity to work on communication skills, believe me. If both people are totally committed and believe 100% in the viability of the relationship, it does work. Anything less and I think it would crumble.

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Cynthetiq

I had a 3 year LD relationship... spent lots of money on phone communications and airmail. With the advent of internet...it'd be alot cheaper today but this was in the late 80's.

We did get to the point where we lived together but eventually it didn't work out... We both tried hard to make it work but it didn't.

just another point of view...

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bayd

I feel your pain cierah

Just started a relationship at the beginning of summer too, now about 4 hrs from my girlfiend, which wouldn't be to bad if either of had a car at the moment.. Its only been 3 days and already rdy to hop on a train up there to visit her.. ugh.

My suggestion is to invest in a phone plan that includes cheap/free long distance, thats something I really need to look into.

Martian

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=88394

I know exactly what you mean. The distance isn't as great for my girlfriend and me but it might as well be, when we're apart. Read that thread, there's a lot of good tips there. Also, phone cards are a lifesaver, as they let you call pretty much anywhere in Canada or the US for a fraction of what the phone companies charge and you pay up front, so there's no huge bill at the end of the month.

Note that the thread is in Sexuality and while there's nothing really explicit there it is a PG13 thread for discussions of phone and cyber sex.

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shesus

Cierah,
While some long-distance relationships work, that wasn't my experience. It could have been the distance or our age. Although we talked at least 3-4 times a week and wrote constantly, we grew apart. He was stationed in Germany and we only saw each other 2-3 times a year. I think it was hard because we were creating a life apart from each other.
Some pointers to try to make it successful is to have trust and communicate how you are feeling. We never discussed how we were feeling the growing apart because we didn't want to hurt each other. Also, if you believe that the other person is unfaithful, it is going to kill the relationship.
I wish you good luck!

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