Should I be annoyed? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

calvin88 · 09-08-2005, 09:52 AM

So my gf went back to Japan and Taiwan a couple days ago. Last night she calls me at 1 am and says she can't really talk but will call me again at 6:30 am. I figure since I'll probably be awake until about 4:30am anyways I will just wait up for her. I'm sitting at my computer and watching tv until 7:30. Still no call. I fall asleep until 8:30 now sorta worried because she isn't usually late as she gets mad at me if I am late. So I kinda lounge around and at 9:30 she calls me and says that she called late because she and some people on the tour went to the club and bars in Tokyo. So at this point Im really annoyed because I slept like an hour the whole night waiting for her call and then she calls to tell me that she was late because she went clubbing. I wouldn't care if she just told me she was going to call me tmw or if she just called before going clubbing and told me so but for me to wait then that be the reason just really bugs me. Am I overreacting or what? Thanks.

JustJess · 09-08-2005, 09:52 AM

Are you annoyed? If so, yep.
If not, nope.

It's a personal thing. I would be, but I wouldn't have stayed awake, either. I wouldn't make a huge issue out of it, since she is in a brand new place with brand new "rules" and all that.

Redlemon · 09-08-2005, 09:52 AM

Well, she didn't tell you to wait up for the call, so that's one point against you.

What is your usual sleep schedule, and is she aware of it? Did her saying she would call back later sound urgent, or was it just a "catch you later"?

Glory's Sun · 09-08-2005, 09:57 AM

It wouldn't really bother me.. but then I wouldn't have waited up either.

Poppinjay · 09-08-2005, 10:38 AM

When I was first dating, yes, it would have annoyed me. I learned that the more I treated these things as no big deal, the better our relationship got.

I recommend not being annoyed. It would make you look clingy.

SirLance · 09-08-2005, 10:55 AM

Well, you clearly are annoyed. In a relationship, things will happen that piss you off. You have to ask yourself "Is this the hill I want to die on?"

What I mean by that, is do you really want to make an issue of this to the possible detriment of the relationship? Based on the information you give, it looks like waiting for the call was your choice.

Why not just tell her that you waited up because you didn't want to miss the call and it kind of upset you that it wasn't on time?

calvin88 · 09-08-2005, 12:34 PM

hmm. I guess you guys are right. I was just kinda upset that I decided to wait and she ended up being late because she went clubbing and didnt tell me. I guess she didn't really have a reason to believe i was going to stay up an extra couple hours. Thanks for the insight guys and gals.

Glory's Sun · 09-08-2005, 12:45 PM

you need to figure out if you're annoyed at the missed phone call.. or her clubbing.

Mr Honest · 09-08-2005, 01:19 PM

I'd be pissed. Here's how much my girlfriend cares. She always rings when she says she will. Even if it is to apoligise that she is busy and can't chat properly, just to let me know she's OK and what's happening.
Since she's 10,000 miles away I think that's sweet and decent.
If someone says they will call and don't then do the same to them or tell them that you waited up for them. See if they care, if they don't then why bother with them?

vanblah · 09-08-2005, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr Honest

If someone says they will call and don't then do the same to them or tell them that you waited up for them. See if they care, if they don't then why bother with them?

Those kinds of games are typical in doomed relationships. Rather than play games with people why not just talk about it?

Calvin: you only have yourself to be annoyed with. You chose to wait up. I'm glad that you are able to see that.

Sugarmouse · 09-08-2005, 01:37 PM

id let her knw you were worried.i think maybe you should have told her not to call if you minded waitng up that late though...iagree to ask is she aware you wouldnt have normally been awake at that tme?she probably felt obligated to call you but knw she wouldnt really get chance.i would dismiss it..but make sure she is aware she doesnt have to call and not to say she is going to if she isnt for definite!
did yu really want to speak to her?or werent u all that bothered?maybe she feels she has to call u a certain number of times.

Mr Honest · 09-08-2005, 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vanblah

Those kinds of games are typical in doomed relationships. Rather than play games with people why not just talk about it?

Calvin: you only have yourself to be annoyed with. You chose to wait up. I'm glad that you are able to see that.

errr

I said ' OR tell them that you waited up for them. See if they care, if they don't then why bother with them?'

that's not playing a game it is talking about it!

Schwan · 09-16-2005, 10:52 AM

The signal that my relationship was about to end was something similar. Was soppoused to call, didn't, came back from a trip nad broke up. I don't generalize, though. It could be nothing.

calvin88 · 09-16-2005, 09:39 PM

Hmm well I hope that doesnt happen, as we currently live together. So the living and financial situation would get kind of ugly if that were to happen. But we've agreed to put the conversation aside until she gets back from the trip, and we have been talking fine these past few days. So it was probably just one of those little fights again.

09-08-2005, 09:52 AM	#1 (permalink)
calvin88 Tilted Location: socal	Should I be annoyed? So my gf went back to Japan and Taiwan a couple days ago. Last night she calls me at 1 am and says she can't really talk but will call me again at 6:30 am. I figure since I'll probably be awake until about 4:30am anyways I will just wait up for her. I'm sitting at my computer and watching tv until 7:30. Still no call. I fall asleep until 8:30 now sorta worried because she isn't usually late as she gets mad at me if I am late. So I kinda lounge around and at 9:30 she calls me and says that she called late because she and some people on the tour went to the club and bars in Tokyo. So at this point Im really annoyed because I slept like an hour the whole night waiting for her call and then she calls to tell me that she was late because she went clubbing. I wouldn't care if she just told me she was going to call me tmw or if she just called before going clubbing and told me so but for me to wait then that be the reason just really bugs me. Am I overreacting or what? Thanks.

09-08-2005, 09:52 AM	#2 (permalink)
JustJess Unencapsulated Location: Kittyville	Are you annoyed? If so, yep. If not, nope. It's a personal thing. I would be, but I wouldn't have stayed awake, either. I wouldn't make a huge issue out of it, since she is in a brand new place with brand new "rules" and all that. __________________ My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

09-08-2005, 09:52 AM	#3 (permalink)
Redlemon Devoted Donor Location: New England	Well, she didn't tell you to wait up for the call, so that's one point against you. What is your usual sleep schedule, and is she aware of it? Did her saying she would call back later sound urgent, or was it just a "catch you later"? __________________ I can't read your signature. Sorry.

09-08-2005, 10:55 AM	#6 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	Well, you clearly are annoyed. In a relationship, things will happen that piss you off. You have to ask yourself "Is this the hill I want to die on?" What I mean by that, is do you really want to make an issue of this to the possible detriment of the relationship? Based on the information you give, it looks like waiting for the call was your choice. Why not just tell her that you waited up because you didn't want to miss the call and it kind of upset you that it wasn't on time? __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

09-08-2005, 01:19 PM	#9 (permalink)
Mr Honest Crazy	I'd be pissed. Here's how much my girlfriend cares. She always rings when she says she will. Even if it is to apoligise that she is busy and can't chat properly, just to let me know she's OK and what's happening. Since she's 10,000 miles away I think that's sweet and decent. If someone says they will call and don't then do the same to them or tell them that you waited up for them. See if they care, if they don't then why bother with them? __________________ Human beings : who could ever claim to like them all?

09-08-2005, 09:57 AM	#4 (permalink)
Glory's Sun Registered User	It wouldn't really bother me.. but then I wouldn't have waited up either.

09-08-2005, 10:38 AM	#5 (permalink)
Poppinjay You had me at hello Location: DC/Coastal VA	When I was first dating, yes, it would have annoyed me. I learned that the more I treated these things as no big deal, the better our relationship got. I recommend not being annoyed. It would make you look clingy.

09-08-2005, 12:34 PM	#7 (permalink)
calvin88 Tilted Location: socal	hmm. I guess you guys are right. I was just kinda upset that I decided to wait and she ended up being late because she went clubbing and didnt tell me. I guess she didn't really have a reason to believe i was going to stay up an extra couple hours. Thanks for the insight guys and gals.

09-08-2005, 12:45 PM	#8 (permalink)
Glory's Sun Registered User	you need to figure out if you're annoyed at the missed phone call.. or her clubbing.

09-08-2005, 01:37 PM	#11 (permalink)
Sugarmouse Insane Location: Preston lancs(i know i know)	id let her knw you were worried.i think maybe you should have told her not to call if you minded waitng up that late though...iagree to ask is she aware you wouldnt have normally been awake at that tme?she probably felt obligated to call you but knw she wouldnt really get chance.i would dismiss it..but make sure she is aware she doesnt have to call and not to say she is going to if she isnt for definite! did yu really want to speak to her?or werent u all that bothered?maybe she feels she has to call u a certain number of times. __________________ Sugarmouse=Festered

09-16-2005, 10:52 AM	#13 (permalink)
Schwan A boy and his dog Location: EU!	The signal that my relationship was about to end was something similar. Was soppoused to call, didn't, came back from a trip nad broke up. I don't generalize, though. It could be nothing.

09-16-2005, 09:39 PM	#14 (permalink)
calvin88 Tilted Location: socal	Hmm well I hope that doesnt happen, as we currently live together. So the living and financial situation would get kind of ugly if that were to happen. But we've agreed to put the conversation aside until she gets back from the trip, and we have been talking fine these past few days. So it was probably just one of those little fights again.