How do you compliment someone on their mood? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

vautrain · 08-29-2005, 01:31 PM

I realize the subject line makes no sense. Let me explain.

There is a woman who works for a customer of mine. I've never met her in person, but I talk to her on the phone once a month or so. I've heard some stories about her. A year or two ago, I heard, she lost her daughter at a young age. I don't know any specifics, other than that.

For as long as I've been talking to this woman on the phone, she has been crabby. Very crabby. Understandably. Sometimes (I felt) she took it out on me. No problem, I try to be as understanding as possible. After all, I deal with customers regularly, and they're not always pleasant.

In the past couple of months, I've spoken to this woman several times. I can hardly believe it's the same person. Her personality is quite near bubbly. She is much happier than she has been since I've known her. I am happy that she is happy, even though I've never met her in person.

I would like to tell her that I've noticed a change- for the better. Should I, or should I just let it go? Would this be offensive? Would she misconstrue this as "coming on" to her? I would rather say nothing than offend her, or send the wrong signals.

WWYD?

ngdawg · 08-29-2005, 02:06 PM

I might say something along the lines of, 'Wow! Someone's been in a wonderful mood lately!' without digging. That way, she can respond however she wants. Anything else might bring attention to her former crabbiness ('nice to hear a happy voice from you', etc). No one wants that....

tecoyah · 08-29-2005, 02:35 PM

" If only I could smile thru the phone like you do"

Suave · 08-29-2005, 10:44 PM

Sounds like tecoyah is growing some corn. :P

lurkette · 08-30-2005, 06:30 AM

You might try just mentioning it, something like "I notice lately that you seem to be in a really positive mood - I'm glad you're doing well!"

Rlyss · 08-30-2005, 09:34 AM

I'd say something like 'It's great to talk to a happy person on the phone at last! Sounds like you're having a great day too.' Doesn't sound like you're hitting on her, doesn't sound sarcastic and doesn't bring any attention to her past crabbiness.

Just saying 'Wow, someone's having a great day' sounds a little sarcastic to me, and if she's aware that she's sounding more positive these days she might take it a bit backhandedly.

Rodney · 08-30-2005, 12:30 PM

Give her a compliment based on how her behavior affects you, especially at the end of the conversation, "Thanks, and it's been a pleasure talking to you." or "Thanks for being so helpful, it makes my day easier." It'll be appreciated; and since you're bringing the conversation to a close, it'll be difficult for her to misconstrue your compliments as a come-on.

08-29-2005, 01:31 PM	#1 (permalink)
vautrain Crazy	How do you compliment someone on their mood? I realize the subject line makes no sense. Let me explain. There is a woman who works for a customer of mine. I've never met her in person, but I talk to her on the phone once a month or so. I've heard some stories about her. A year or two ago, I heard, she lost her daughter at a young age. I don't know any specifics, other than that. For as long as I've been talking to this woman on the phone, she has been crabby. Very crabby. Understandably. Sometimes (I felt) she took it out on me. No problem, I try to be as understanding as possible. After all, I deal with customers regularly, and they're not always pleasant. In the past couple of months, I've spoken to this woman several times. I can hardly believe it's the same person. Her personality is quite near bubbly. She is much happier than she has been since I've known her. I am happy that she is happy, even though I've never met her in person. I would like to tell her that I've noticed a change- for the better. Should I, or should I just let it go? Would this be offensive? Would she misconstrue this as "coming on" to her? I would rather say nothing than offend her, or send the wrong signals. WWYD?

08-29-2005, 02:06 PM	#2 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	I might say something along the lines of, 'Wow! Someone's been in a wonderful mood lately!' without digging. That way, she can respond however she wants. Anything else might bring attention to her former crabbiness ('nice to hear a happy voice from you', etc). No one wants that.... __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

08-29-2005, 02:35 PM	#3 (permalink)
tecoyah Illusionary	" If only I could smile thru the phone like you do" __________________ Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

08-29-2005, 10:44 PM	#4 (permalink)
Suave Twitterpated Location: My own little world (also Canada)	Sounds like tecoyah is growing some corn. :P __________________ "Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions." - Albert Einstein "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." - Plato

08-30-2005, 06:30 AM	#5 (permalink)
lurkette My future is coming on Moderator Emeritus Location: east of the sun and west of the moon	You might try just mentioning it, something like "I notice lately that you seem to be in a really positive mood - I'm glad you're doing well!" __________________ "If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France

08-30-2005, 09:34 AM	#6 (permalink)
Rlyss The Pusher Location: Edinburgh	I'd say something like 'It's great to talk to a happy person on the phone at last! Sounds like you're having a great day too.' Doesn't sound like you're hitting on her, doesn't sound sarcastic and doesn't bring any attention to her past crabbiness. Just saying 'Wow, someone's having a great day' sounds a little sarcastic to me, and if she's aware that she's sounding more positive these days she might take it a bit backhandedly.

08-30-2005, 12:30 PM	#7 (permalink)
Rodney Observant Ruminant Location: Rich Wannabe Hippie Town	Give her a compliment based on how her behavior affects you, especially at the end of the conversation, "Thanks, and it's been a pleasure talking to you." or "Thanks for being so helpful, it makes my day easier." It'll be appreciated; and since you're bringing the conversation to a close, it'll be difficult for her to misconstrue your compliments as a come-on.