lindalove

A couple nights ago, my boyfriend (who was not only the longest relationship I had ever had, but also the first person I ever truly loved) cheated on me. ...with my roommate of all people. And right under my nose! I was drunk, though. After they heard me puking in the bathroom, they came out and got me some water and helped me feel better. Then my roommate took me into her room and, sobbing, confessed what she had done. I sobered up so quick but couldn't speak. I wanted to throw her out of the window, though. She told me she was falling for Curt (the bf). Told me he was the first man to ever make her feel beautiful physically and mentally. Well...I'm not suprised. This girl falls in love with anyone who gives her the time of day. She's the biggest flake I know. But to fall for the man of my dreams after I went through hell just to be with him...she's a backstabbing whore. I can't stand the thought of her. She was my best friend and she ruined my life! I sacrificed so much to move 200 miles away from my family to live with her and she screws my boyfriend!

And Curt told me that if he wasn't with me, he'd be with Amanda. Great, but that doesn't answer where his heart is. I don't know who he wants to be with first. And I don't think I'll ever know. Last night while I was sleeping he started massaging my legs. It just made me think of when we first got together. How he told me that I as good as had him. How he was falling for me so quickly. But I don't know why he was doing it last night. I don't know what the message was. "You're the one I love" or "We can still screw around even though I love Amanda first".

I do know...that I may not be sticking around this place for long. But I don't have the funds to move even as far as across the street. 'sides, I don't know anyone here besides Amanda. There's no one I could move in with. I'm completely alone in this state. I want to find a real home.

I feel like I'll never find a place I'll fit into.

And now I definately know for sure that LOVE SUCKS!

maleficent

It takes two to tango, while you are raging at your girlfriend, remember that your boyfriend is not an innocent bystander. Your choice sounds like it has been made. You deserve to be with someone who loves you completely and totally for you... and is not settling for you and not trying to decide.

You'll find a place to fit in, it just takes time... this was an adventure, it got you out on you own, you did something you probably wouldn't have done, and you will recover from your broken heart stronger than you were before...

Love doesnt suck, (it's people that suck - not all but some people are just weak and you are deserving of more...

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SpikeQX99

Cheating is absolutely a 2 way street. There's no other way to get around that.

Stuff like this is what makes us stronger as people.

And like Mal said. Love doesn't suck. People do. And unfortunately you found 2 new people in your life that suck right now.

I''m sorry to hear about the events here, and I hope that you leave the situation and carry on with your life and find someone who will appreciate you for who you are, and won't give in to the temptation of another.

Best of luck.

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kramus

A thought - don't burn your bridges with these people right off. Give yourself a chance to reflect on what drew you to them in the first place. Who knows, maybe you can see a possibility - see down the road a still-valid friendship with one or both of them. It is your heart and your closest two people right now, but also they are both really in a tumultous place too, and if you give each other some dialogue and room, you still can share some of the good you have had.

Or you can totally slam them both, of course. But if eventually you don't forgive, it will drag around with you for a loonngg time.

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lindalove

Thanks everyone.

abaya

Both parties are at fault here. Is there any way you can get out of that situation? Move back with parents temporarily or at least ask for a loan to move out of that house? That's a living hell if you ask me. I'd need to get out of there right away. Maybe take a motel room nearby, at least, or ask Amanda to do that while you all decide what to do.

It does sound like the guy is an asshole. He should know what he wants, or at least who he prefers to be fucking. Jesus.

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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

soundmotor

Not only did they fuck each other, they fucked you over pretty good too. Dump both of the losers. They deserve each other and believe me, they did you a favor in the long run. It hurts right now. Don't dwell on the hurt, get angry & move out & on. You do not need either of those jerks.

tiltedbc

Not that I agree with what he did, I have to say most young guys are liable to make mistakes like this given an opportunity. It's sort of build into our biology and it wouldn't take much effort on your roommates part to seduce him.

I'd suggest you sit down with your boyfriend and ask him to decide if he's still loyal to you. If he is, this will be his first and only "mistake" regarding other women. If he can't commit, then find someone new.

Ustwo

Young males make stupid mistakes at times, but character is innate.

His character is weak, and he should be dumped.

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Leviathan[NCV]

I'll say I'm sorry to hear that this happened... But, it just wasn't meant to be... dump his ass.

bad jane

are you outta your head? it is not hardwired into guys to cheat. and guys who choose to cheat are not necessarily "seduced" by other women. as a female, i promise you--i've had many opportunities to be the other woman and it was not me doing the seducing.

it can be argued he made a mistake, had a weak moment, whatever--but that doesn't change the fact that he also made a choice.

if i were in this position, i'd move out asap. and i wouldn't have anything to do with either of them. i wouldn't go off on them, just let them know that i don't need people like that in my life. if they felt a connection between them and had told me before acting on it, the friendships would be worth salvaging. if they have so little respect for me that they place that low a value on our relationship(s), i don't need or want them in my life. i know i deserve better and prefer to go without than to settle for relationships like that.

Daniel_

for me, cheating = gone.

It didn't used to be that way - but experience has taught me that if it hapens once, you can't be sure it won't happen again.

Why do that to yourself?

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tiltedbc

Maybe! but that's another story.

Just imagine for a minute that you wanted to entice a young guy into sex. Would it be hard to do as a woman? This guy has been faithful for years or whatever and suddenly cheats with his girlfriends roommate while they're drunk. It just sounds a bit suspicious to me, sort of like someone taking advantage to steal a boyfriend sort of thing.

I just don't see the logic in ending a long-term relationship overnight because some skanky roommate decided to fuck with your life (and boyfriend). She's obviously looking for a reaction when she confronts and admits it knowing how big a deal this is.

Vincentt

/agree ustwo

HE is a cheater, that is his charactor.

The roommate is a homewrecker, that is her charactor.

While they will change some as they grow, they didn't see anything wrong with what they did now, and they aren't likely to in the future.

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