tres

Recently we gained new tenants in the apartment above us. My SO and I live in a 2 family house. We live on the base floor and they live above us. We have sole use of the Washer/dryer because its in our apartment. My dumb landlord threw us under the bus and said "If your interested in using the washing maching talk with Tres and Ceci" So.. now.. I'm in a bit of a pickle. They are two girls both our age, and since they have been there we have hung out, and gone out drinking.. my fiance and her have a lot of things in common and are developing a nice friendship, and our dogs keep eachother company when we are all at work...Last night they brought up using the washer/dryer.. and my SO and I could not decide what to do...

We want to just say."sure no problem" However.. I'm concerned about a few things...
#1 I don't want somone in my apt when we arent home.
#2 During the week, we get home, eat dinner, shower and go to sleep, that leaves just enough time to do our own laundry and relax a little. We are usually in bed by 930 everynight. That doesent leave them time to do their laundry during the week.
#3 If they somehow figure out how to do it during the week, we have to be considerate of how we are dressed, who's in the shower, how clean the apt is.. quite honestly... I'm paying rent and no place is there an agreement of a communal washer/dryer. I want to be able to relax in my own apt and not worry about other people.
#4- On the weekends we are always sleeping late, and/or doing Misc things... so we can't promise to be home.. even during the week we have things to do.. I don't want to promise that they can do laundry on a certain day, and then have to cancel.. I know if I was in their shoes I'd be pissed if I'm expecting to do laundry tonight and now I can't.

I want to be a nice person, but don't want to comprimise my lifestyle.. How do I either work this out.. or nicely tell them that them doing laundry at the house just won't work out and salvage the friendship what we already have?

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vanblah

Do you know if they pay the same amount of rent as you?

Is there anyway to secure the rest of your apartment from the laundry room?

Squishor

I wouldn't tolerate the proposed arrangement, for much of the same reasons you spelled out. I think your position is completely reasonable. My house is my sanctuary, it's where I keep my peace of mind. I'd have a hard time addressing this too, since telling people "no" is not my strong point. But I think you're well within your rights. I can think of only one neighbor I'd let do such a thing if I were in your position, and he has had the keys to our apartment many times because he has taken care of our animals when we went on trips. He has also done us many personal favors and been very generous. Maybe I'd consider it if your friendship with these neighbors evolved to that point, but up until that point, the answer would be no. How to best put that is beyond me at the moment. The only thing I can think of is what I've told people in the past, that I'm very private about where I live and it's not personal, it's just one of my principles. I would explain that the knowledge that someone else had access and that my house was potentially unsecure would cause too much underlying anxiety - but that still doesn't address the issue of their possibly using it while you're home.

*Nikki*

Wow that sounds like a pain in the ass. I am like you and I don't want other people around during my down time or private time with my SO.

If I were you I would talk to the landlord and get HIM to tell them No. It was him who put you in this situation in the first place and you shouldn't have to be the bad guy.

Charlatan

Nikki is bang on... Get the landlord to explain it to them. You shouldn't have to have people (even those that are friends) tramping through your home.

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tres

There is no way to get access to the laundry room without going through our entire apt and then our bathroom. I'm not oppossed to helping them out in a pinch.. like if they stained something or they need somthing washed for an appointment or something like that...

They pay $800 More than us.. plus utilities.. our rent is inclusive of all utilities and the washer/dryer.. needless to say, we have a sweet deal...

__________________
"Its better to be hated for who you are, then loved for what your not" --Van Zant

"Tell me and I forget. Show me and I remember. Involve me and I learn."

Cynthetiq

then don't.

sometimes assertive means that the other person will think you are an asshole.

bring up the reasons you did directly to them. you've kept up the side of the conversation that was tossed to you by the landlord. (if you were given fair warning you should have already discussed it prior so that you could flat out answer them when asked)

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guthmund

There is no way you're going to come out of this without looking like the bad guys unless the neighbors are just incredibly understanding folks. The landlord is going to push the blame off on you anyway all things considered.

To be honest, I'd just sit down and talk with them. Tell them what the hesitation is all about. Tell them you don't want to have to worry about the place being clean or what you're wearing or worry about someone else having unrestricted access to your home. How they react to that is their problem not yours.

It all really depends on where you want the relationship to go. If they're just neighbors and they get upset, so what? If you want to develop a friendship with them. Well, like I said, unless they're just incredibly understanding people, I don't see anyway for the situation to be mended without somebody getting bent over or pissed off.

I don't know. If you want to make it work, you'll make it work. If you don't, you won't.

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MEAD

If you are developing a friendship with them, I'd say they should be understanding, all of your reason are extremely reasonable and if you tell them that and how you don't want to have this issue be a problem in your friendship I think they should eventually understand.

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portereight

just say the landlord must have forgotten that thereis no washing machine in a public area. Explain that the only washing machine is in your bathroom. You might want to add "But I know a great launderette on xxx street"
If these girls have half a clue between them they would "get it" without you having to say "I don't want you in my apartment"

Daknjak

I agree with all, you should feel comfortable in your house with your things. The only other option I could see if you want to make sure they stay your friends is to move the washer and dryer to maybe a basement if you have one, and share it that way. Maybe even make them pay you $25 or so a month to use it. Especially if you bought it and own it. But that is a sacrifice for you as well, especially if they hog it so much you can't get your laundry done. Just trying to get at this from all angles. Best of luck to you.

tres

"getting it" is not their strong point. They are both airline "hosts" and when they bring it up, they should be able to tell by the look on my face and the first couple of words that come out of my mouth before my SO cuts me off and changes the subject...

__________________
"Its better to be hated for who you are, then loved for what your not" --Van Zant

"Tell me and I forget. Show me and I remember. Involve me and I learn."

Pip

I wouldn't want anyone going into my apartment like that either! It was very rude of the landlord to put the pressure on you like that. How did the previous tenants wash their stuff?

A little white lie perhaps could help? Make up some story about how you let some friends use the machines and they always left a mess, "borrowed" your detergents, never cleaned the filter and so on and it ruined your friendship. Not that you think they would do something like that, but it's a risk you'd rather not take. You know, washing room dramas have lead to murder.

tres

The previous tenant was the landlord, and he mommy still did his laundry for him.

__________________
"Its better to be hated for who you are, then loved for what your not" --Van Zant

"Tell me and I forget. Show me and I remember. Involve me and I learn."

Pip

Okay, that is beyond pathetic. Maybe his mother should do their laundry too?