Dear Me:
 

Use this thread as a place to vent to yourself, about yourself.

Dear Me:

Get off your ass and stop complaining that you haven't found a job yet! You can easily go down the street to the cute little corner market and get a damn part time job, since you claim you need money SOOOO bad. GET GOIN ALREADY WOMAN! Sheesh!

Love,

Self

Dear self,

Please stop forgetting your toothpaste from home. Your teeth are feeling yucky. You also need to shower and stop eating so much cottage cheese.

Dear self,

Stop talking to yourself. You're making me feel nervous.

(I jest, I jest)

Now for reals:
Get to work, you lazy bum!

Dear me: Get off your lazy ass, and go to the gym so you can have nice abs and chest to show off at the beach this summer.. Oh yeah. and stop being a dick to people...

Dear Self.

There are two of you now. So be nice to each other.
I know he can be a bit of a jerk but thats just him!

oh and try not to worry so much about your computers power supply. I am sure you can fix it.

Dear Self,

Stop pulling things out of your ass. This will not work one day and you will be fucked. Go to Grad school because you need to live up to your full potential. Stop being a bitch and remeber you are no better than the fat kid who loves cake. Remeber, mommy loves you she just has no money for you.

Dear Self,

win the lottery.

Dear self

Make a move on that one chick at work who seems to be flirting with you on and off.

Also, make sure to get all cash in advance whenever possible in future business dealings (this last one is completely unrelated to the first, of course).

Dear self,

One, get off your ass and get the body you deserve....you have a freakin' gym membership! Two, get your ass to your class. I'm sick of you not going. Life ain't that hard for ya.

Angrily yours,
Me.

Dear self,
Stop being such a bitch when he is really trying. Give him a chance to breathe when you are around him, he is really a good man and all you do it take him for granted.

:-)

dear self,

stop being so selfish. i know you would jump in front of a bullet or a car to save those you love, but you're forgetting about the little things. there are hundreds of little decisions you make each day that effect those you care about and you should really take more time to consider their feelings as well as your own. it won't be easy, but you know things have to change... so get to it already.

signed,

me

Dear Self,

Stop spending so much time reading and posting messages here. You should be grading papers or planning lessons, or reading comic books, or watching horror movies, or just taking a walk in the sun, or waking up that woman in your bed and letting her ravish you. Really, you spend way too much time here.

Self

Dear Self,

You've been great lately, not procrastinating about things and actually getting them done. I've noticed you've started becoming a bit more of an asshole to the wrong people. Control your temper and focus it in the right directions. Don't take advantage of your friends' patience and compassion. Take out your frustrations on the people that deserve them: other assholes.

Dear Self:

Tell your boss to go fuck himself. You know you want to, need to, and owe it to yourself.

Dear Me,

just shut the fuck up and do what you need to do.

Dear me:

quit procrastinating. You are at work to work, not to write stuff in forums.

signed,

Self

PS taxes are due too.

Dear self,

Stop feeling sorry for yourself, moping around or relying on others isn't going to fix anything, its about time you got up off your arse and did something positive with your life.