soma

Ok, so here is the deal. I'm a pretty keep to myself sort of person. My room mate on the other hand likes to have the door open and has his girl friend and this other guy come in ... fairly often (this is my second day in a dorm). I don't know if I'm over reacting and my infurior complex is getting the best of me or if I'm right in my reaction. Should I just go with the flow and accept that this is dorm life? Or should I talk to my room mate about possible ground rules regarding guests and that sort of thing.

If so, what sorts of things should be considered when negotiating these rules? I'm pretty clueless and would really appreciate some help. Thanks!

shakran

more details. Is the girlfriend just coming in, or are they having sex? I had a roommate that would start having sex with his girlfriend-of-the-month while i was writing papers. We had a discussion which informed him what would happen to him if the behavior continued, and he stopped.

If they're just coming in to talk, there's nothing wrong with that - to a point -. It's your room too and you two need to compromise on the dorm rules. Your RA should be able to help you sit down and figure out what the ground rules are. You can't expect him to sit alone all the time and he can't expect you to never be alone.

If, on the other hand, they're having sex or even just making out, that's unacceptable and you have every right to insist that it stop.

ratbastid

Living conditions need to work for everyone who lives there, and there's ALWAYS room for compromise. Look, in my freshman dorm we had all kinds of goofball pairings, and they all worked out, in no small part because our RA was a master diplomat. It turns out that there's usually a compromise that allows both parties to get things 90% their way.

Carno

All I can say is, dorm life is not suited for studying. That's what libraries are for.

Hope you work it out though.

Vincentt

I will say, try to change a little. Keeping to your self just isn't as fun as getting out and about in college.

I kept to myself when I first moved into dorms, once I was able to start talking to more people I really enjoyed it.

I also had a girlfriend almost my entire time i was in dorms so.. missed out on the convinence of tons of girls a short walk away

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soma

As always, thank you all. I'm not too terribly good at life in general.

Redjake

I'm glad I have a twin brother. I've heard of this situation happening to a lot of people. They seem to get over it in about a month, or they never do get over it.


Sharing a bedroom with another guy for 21 years prepared me for the worst of roomates. And a lot of other life situations.

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paddyjoe

Sounds like you may be in a good spot to start learning about it.

pinoychink790

yeah just let it flow. If you need to study and stuff, just go to some quiet place somewhere to get work done

SiNai

Yeah, with dorms, you've gotta basically realize that either you're gonna be a hermit, or you're gonna get next to nil privacy. It's not a bad thing, just a context change. I wouldn't worry about it. Keep your door open and invite people in; when other's doors are open, stroll in and chat for a few minutes. Just don't be a douchebag like the guy that's on my futon right now

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thesupermikey

1) talk to your roommate....set ground rules
2) go looking for a place to study that you can call your own. Find a loby somewhere, or a desk at the libary. It helps
3) if its only day two im sure as the year gets rolling things will get better. you and your roommate wil get into a routeen with each other.
4) if problems continue talk to your RA/AD or what ever you have about switching rooms (do this only if problems get REALLY bad.)
5) everything everybody else has said....do it too

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