People who try and finish your sentences - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Ella · 07-13-2004, 03:38 AM

I'm sure we all know someone like this.....you're speaking to them, and they think they know what you're about to say, so they try and say the rest of your sentence with you. I find it a bit annoying.

This chick at work does it a lot, and I like to try and catch her out by changing what I was going to say, so the end of the sentence is different to how she thought it would be. She kind of looks a little puzzled, but then stumbles along anyway. It's quite amusing.

Am I the only one who finds this habit annoying and more than a little distracting?

Polyphobic · 07-13-2004, 05:04 AM

Good lord! I hate people that do this. Learn to listen you freaking fool. It goes to show you that listening is not a skill everyone of us have.
That being said, I occasionally do the very same thing when I want the other person to finish talking. Yes, I know I am a hypocrite.

maleficent · 07-13-2004, 05:21 AM

I talk very fast, my mind often goes faster. Some people are about as hard to read as the TV GUide, so, and they ramble and ramble before they make their point. Drives me nuts, just state your point. So I will help them along sometimes.

Until, that is, I worked with someone who stuttered.

I no longer finish his sentences, because we did have a talk and he said it did hurt his feelings when I did, that I didn't think he could do it himself, then he realized that I did it to everyone.

I working on my patience and really don't do it so much anymore, though I can't stop my hands from doing the "move along" motion....

Rlyss · 07-13-2004, 05:37 AM

Over the past year or two I've become really intolerant of that sort of thing. I'm an asshole sometimes when people either finish my sentences, interrupt, or listen to what I say and deliberately respond as if what I said had another meaning.

And I say I've become an asshole about it since I let them know it annoys me. If someone interrupts me I immediately stop, let them speak, and then dismiss what they said, and say "What I was saying was..." and then start from just before I left off.

If someone tries to finish my sentence I'll let them finish, and then dismiss what they said and either repeat it myself, or just not finish it and not give them any indication of whether they were right or wrong.

I know it gets on their nerves, but it's one of the most frustrating things I can think of, when someone interrupts me. I say 'What I was saying, was...' far too often for my own good, I think.

Cynthetiq · 07-13-2004, 06:20 AM

Quote:

What To Avoid In Conversation

( Originally Published Early 1900's )

Because there are so many things that can spoil a conversation, we shall consider first some of the faults that should be avoided.

Don't Be a Monologist

It has been said that good conversation is like tennis rather than like golf. In tennis we receive and serve, returning ball for ball; in golf, each person keeps his own little ball rolling. True conversation is like tennis, with one exception. In tennis you serve as difficult a ball as possible, whereas in conversation you must make it easy for anyone to reply.

Be a good listener—that is, wait for the other person to serve the ball to you. In the game of tennis it would be absurd for both sides to be serving at the same time. It is absurd in the game of conversation also.

Give and receive. If the other person serves you a good ball, return it with all the precision and intelligence that you can summon and keep alert for the next ball. It is poor sportsmanship to lose your temper in a game; likewise, it is poor sportsman-ship to lose your temper in conversation.

A Monologue Isn't Conversation

We all know the bore who seldom asks a question, and if he does ask one, doesn't wait for an answer but hurries on with his own ideas. If you venture a remark, he either interrupts you or pays no attention to what you say. Such a person is interested in himself only and he lacks both common sense and courtesy.

You recall the old saying, "A man has two ears and but one mouth, to teach him that he should hear twice as much as he should talk." If you have any inclination to monopolize conversation, paste this maxim on your mirror and memorize it so that it automatically confronts you every time you find yourself talking too much.

It is a good plan to say to yourself during a conversation, "Should I be interested if someone else were telling about himself what I am telling about myself?" If your common sense answers, "No," then you should immediately draw others into the conversation and let them do the talking for a while. Don't assume that because people seem to be listening to you, they are interested. They may be only polite or they may be thinking of something else. Don't wait for yawns or bored looks before you relinquish the conversation to someone else. As one wise father said to his son, "Give others as well as yourself credit for knowing something, and remember that even if you talk well you mustn't monopolize a conversation, as very few persons care to be eclipsed by a brilliant conversationalist."

Don't Be a Passive Listener

When a celebrated person or a guest of honor is in your group, it is courteous and often profitable to remain silent, but ordinarily complete silence is as poor a contribution to conversation as talking incessantly. The active listener, how-ever, often contributes much to a conversation through the stimulus he gives the speaker.

The person who is not talking, obviously must be either listening or not paying attention. Failing to attend to what another is saying is, of course, the rankest rudeness. Only a degree less discourteous is listening in a listless, half-hearted manner and permitting your glance to wander from the speaker. Listening, to be worthy of the name, must be active. It consists of genuine interest in the speaker and his subject, manifested in an alert manner and concentrated attention on the speaker and what he is saying.

Some persons listen with ill-concealed impatience for an opportunity to tell their ideas. Others pretend to listen, but in reality are absorbed in what they are going to say next.

Then there is the person who interrupts, either to change the subject or to finish the speaker's remark for him. All are discourteous. The person who jumps into the middle of your sentence and completes it for you may feel that his agility of thought is to be commended, but in reality he is implying, "You certainly are slow. I can finish your sentences better and more quickly than you can."

All these types are unpopular because they do not know how to listen. What shall you do if the subject under discussion is of no interest to you? Listen courteously until the speaker has finished. Then, if it appears that others in the group are not particularly interested, you may, through an adroit question or observation, direct attention to something of more general interest.

http://www.oldandsold.com/articles10/voice-19.shtml

Rodney · 07-13-2004, 06:44 AM

There are times when you have to -- when the other person is just stuck, looking for a word that they can't quite remember. In private life or social conversation, I them a few seconds and then supply the word or phrase as a question.

And, let's be frank -- there are times, especially at work, when the conversation is wandering, the person you're talking to couldn't frame a sentence clearly if they hung it on the wall, and you need one piece of info from them that they somehow can't manage to disgorge from their thick skulls, and you're in a hurry. In that case, business is business and if they can't say what's on their minds, I say it for them and get the hell out of there. Usually, I'm spot on.

pig · 07-13-2004, 08:17 AM

I'm with Rodney on this one. I generally consider myself a decent listener, but sometimes you've got to help move the conversation along. A lot of it depends on your approach and body language.

And yeah, stuttering sucks.

la petite moi · 07-13-2004, 08:40 AM

Unfortunately I'm like that occasionally. It's because I'm a little know-it-all, and on top of that, I'm very impatient.

gondath · 07-13-2004, 05:18 PM

I hate people who finish my sentences. It never happens if I forget a word or anything like that. It's always because the other person is too damned selfish and impatient to pay attention to what I have to say. A friend of mine does it all the time. I am not the only one who knows him that wants to strangle him. Listening is a much neglected skill.

Manic_Skafe · 07-13-2004, 08:56 PM

I've developed the bad habit of rephrasing what people say when their thoughts are jumbled or the words they use are used in an improper manner. This girl at my job hates me because I embarassed her in front of people while she was going off on annoying customers who want "Charming" toilet tissue - but me being the asshole that I am, stopped her mid-rant and let her know that it's pronounced Charmin.

I've developed the rude habit of rephrasing what people say. When their thoughts are jumbled and their words come out the same or when they mispronounce something I almost always correct them. A girl at my job hates me because I felt the need to stop her mid-rant and inform her that it's 'Charmin' toilet tissue not "Charming". I don't think I've ever seen her that embarassed.

Yeah - I'm an asshole.

Nisses · 07-14-2004, 02:06 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Manic_Skafe
I've developed the bad habit of rephrasing what people say when their thoughts are jumbled or the words they use are used in an improper manner. This girl at my job hates me because I embarassed her in front of people while she was going off on annoying customers who want "Charming" toilet tissue - but me being the asshole that I am, stopped her mid-rant and let her know that it's pronounced Charmin.

I've developed the rude habit of rephrasing what people say. When their thoughts are jumbled and their words come out the same or when they mispronounce something I almost always correct them. A girl at my job hates me because I felt the need to stop her mid-rant and inform her that it's 'Charmin' toilet tissue not "Charming". I don't think I've ever seen her that embarassed.

Yeah - I'm an asshole.

You even go as far as to rephrase your own words?

At any rate, it *is* annoying, because of that very fact. But sometimes it helps too. I tend to think too fast for my mouth to keep up, and I either go too quickly, where people lose track of the sentence I am uttering, which forces me to repeat it, losing more time... or I stumble on my own words, starting another word midway into the original word that should have been there... So sometimes it's good when other people rephrase what I just said, so I'm sure they at least understand it.

I'd say rephrasing it isn't as bad as completing sentences though. Even so, I can imagine she was embaressed.

Cynthetiq · 07-14-2004, 06:23 AM

rephrasing something to make sure that someone understands that YOU understand is effective communication.

using it to point out someone's flaws is being a dick.

Manic_Skafe · 07-14-2004, 10:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Nisses
You even go as far as to rephrase your own words?

Sexactly

Quote:

rephrasing something to make sure that someone understands that YOU understand is effective communication.

using it to point out someone's flaws is being a dick.

I don't think I do it with the intention of proving myself as the master of the english language but It'd be impossible for me to communicate how annoying it is to hear people use double negatives or all the over used slang terms.

"I ain't never doing that"
"Yo, what's really good homie"

It's tolerable to a certain extent but if they're used every 10 minutes it's excessive and annoying.

Manic_Skafe · 07-14-2004, 10:12 PM

Almost as annoying as double posting and being incapable of erasing the last post.

denton · 07-15-2004, 01:10 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by maleficent
I talk very fast, my mind often goes faster. Some people are about as hard to read as the TV GUide, so, and they ramble and ramble before they make their point. Drives me nuts, just state your point. So I will help them along sometimes.

I can't stand waiting for people to get to the point, I don't need a 5 minute story on what would take me 30 seconds to explain. Too many people at work prefer the long version, so I help them alot.

There are a couple of guys who will literally talk for that long without allowing any interaction from me. Ending their sentence is how I participate in the conversation. I don't think they even notice, don't care if they do.

People that talk like that get on my nerves!

Ella · 07-15-2004, 02:28 AM

Paraphrasing can be effective to ensure your own understanding of someone has said, and I often do it myself. But when you are an articulate, intelligent person who can form coherent sentences, yet others try and complete those same sentences for you, well, I get just a little pissed off.

I consider myself a good listener who maintains eye contact and positive body language with the person I am speaking to, and fully believe it is common courtesy to allow someone to say their piece, rather than your conversation partner thinking they're assisting you by completing your sentences.

It's all about effective, respectful and positive communication.

animosity · 07-15-2004, 06:15 AM

I think that i am a bad conversationalist... I know that no one ever finishes my sentences, so I bet that I am the jackass who does that. I know that I always interrupt people--- I have been trying to do better, if & when I catch myself interrupting someone, I now say, "sorry go ahead with what you were saying."

07-13-2004, 03:38 AM	#1 (permalink)
Ella Ella Bo Bella Location: Australia	People who try and finish your sentences I'm sure we all know someone like this.....you're speaking to them, and they think they know what you're about to say, so they try and say the rest of your sentence with you. I find it a bit annoying. This chick at work does it a lot, and I like to try and catch her out by changing what I was going to say, so the end of the sentence is different to how she thought it would be. She kind of looks a little puzzled, but then stumbles along anyway. It's quite amusing. Am I the only one who finds this habit annoying and more than a little distracting? __________________ "Afterwards, the universe will explode for your pleasure."

07-13-2004, 05:04 AM	#2 (permalink)
Polyphobic Runt Location: Denver	Good lord! I hate people that do this. Learn to listen you freaking fool. It goes to show you that listening is not a skill everyone of us have. That being said, I occasionally do the very same thing when I want the other person to finish talking. Yes, I know I am a hypocrite. __________________ <--The great infidel-->

07-13-2004, 05:21 AM	#3 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	I talk very fast, my mind often goes faster. Some people are about as hard to read as the TV GUide, so, and they ramble and ramble before they make their point. Drives me nuts, just state your point. So I will help them along sometimes. Until, that is, I worked with someone who stuttered. I no longer finish his sentences, because we did have a talk and he said it did hurt his feelings when I did, that I didn't think he could do it himself, then he realized that I did it to everyone. I working on my patience and really don't do it so much anymore, though I can't stop my hands from doing the "move along" motion.... __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

07-13-2004, 08:17 AM	#7 (permalink)
pig pigglet pigglet Location: Locash	I'm with Rodney on this one. I generally consider myself a decent listener, but sometimes you've got to help move the conversation along. A lot of it depends on your approach and body language. And yeah, stuttering sucks. __________________ You don't love me, you just love my piggy style

07-13-2004, 08:56 PM	#10 (permalink)
Manic_Skafe More Than You Expect Location: Queens	I've developed the bad habit of rephrasing what people say when their thoughts are jumbled or the words they use are used in an improper manner. This girl at my job hates me because I embarassed her in front of people while she was going off on annoying customers who want "Charming" toilet tissue - but me being the asshole that I am, stopped her mid-rant and let her know that it's pronounced Charmin. I've developed the rude habit of rephrasing what people say. When their thoughts are jumbled and their words come out the same or when they mispronounce something I almost always correct them. A girl at my job hates me because I felt the need to stop her mid-rant and inform her that it's 'Charmin' toilet tissue not "Charming". I don't think I've ever seen her that embarassed. Yeah - I'm an asshole. __________________ "Porn is a zoo of exotic animals that becomes boring upon ownership." -Nersesian

07-13-2004, 05:37 AM	#4 (permalink)
Rlyss The Pusher Location: Edinburgh	Over the past year or two I've become really intolerant of that sort of thing. I'm an asshole sometimes when people either finish my sentences, interrupt, or listen to what I say and deliberately respond as if what I said had another meaning. And I say I've become an asshole about it since I let them know it annoys me. If someone interrupts me I immediately stop, let them speak, and then dismiss what they said, and say "What I was saying was..." and then start from just before I left off. If someone tries to finish my sentence I'll let them finish, and then dismiss what they said and either repeat it myself, or just not finish it and not give them any indication of whether they were right or wrong. I know it gets on their nerves, but it's one of the most frustrating things I can think of, when someone interrupts me. I say 'What I was saying, was...' far too often for my own good, I think.

07-13-2004, 06:44 AM	#6 (permalink)
Rodney Observant Ruminant Location: Rich Wannabe Hippie Town	There are times when you have to -- when the other person is just stuck, looking for a word that they can't quite remember. In private life or social conversation, I them a few seconds and then supply the word or phrase as a question. And, let's be frank -- there are times, especially at work, when the conversation is wandering, the person you're talking to couldn't frame a sentence clearly if they hung it on the wall, and you need one piece of info from them that they somehow can't manage to disgorge from their thick skulls, and you're in a hurry. In that case, business is business and if they can't say what's on their minds, I say it for them and get the hell out of there. Usually, I'm spot on.

07-13-2004, 08:40 AM	#8 (permalink)
la petite moi Filling the Void. Location: California	Unfortunately I'm like that occasionally. It's because I'm a little know-it-all, and on top of that, I'm very impatient.

07-13-2004, 05:18 PM	#9 (permalink)
gondath Insane Location: Alton, IL	I hate people who finish my sentences. It never happens if I forget a word or anything like that. It's always because the other person is too damned selfish and impatient to pay attention to what I have to say. A friend of mine does it all the time. I am not the only one who knows him that wants to strangle him. Listening is a much neglected skill.

07-14-2004, 06:23 AM	#12 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	rephrasing something to make sure that someone understands that YOU understand is effective communication. using it to point out someone's flaws is being a dick.

07-14-2004, 10:12 PM	#14 (permalink)
Manic_Skafe More Than You Expect Location: Queens	Almost as annoying as double posting and being incapable of erasing the last post. __________________ "Porn is a zoo of exotic animals that becomes boring upon ownership." -Nersesian Last edited by Manic_Skafe; 07-14-2004 at 10:14 PM..

07-15-2004, 02:28 AM	#16 (permalink)
Ella Ella Bo Bella Location: Australia	Paraphrasing can be effective to ensure your own understanding of someone has said, and I often do it myself. But when you are an articulate, intelligent person who can form coherent sentences, yet others try and complete those same sentences for you, well, I get just a little pissed off. I consider myself a good listener who maintains eye contact and positive body language with the person I am speaking to, and fully believe it is common courtesy to allow someone to say their piece, rather than your conversation partner thinking they're assisting you by completing your sentences. It's all about effective, respectful and positive communication. __________________ "Afterwards, the universe will explode for your pleasure."

07-15-2004, 06:15 AM	#17 (permalink)
animosity on fire Location: Atlanta, GA	I think that i am a bad conversationalist... I know that no one ever finishes my sentences, so I bet that I am the jackass who does that. I know that I always interrupt people--- I have been trying to do better, if & when I catch myself interrupting someone, I now say, "sorry go ahead with what you were saying."