Mikado

I assume this is in the right forum, wasn't sure where to put it.

For the past week I've been having several dreams about my ex-girlfriend. A little back history, we were together for three years, lived together for two. We broke up about 6-8 months ago. Mainly a mutual break-up, but both of us cared for each other deeply so it was still difficult.

But now, over 6 months later, I'm having these strange dreams of my ex almost every night. The dreams aren't always the same either. Some times it's the two of us meeting up somewhere talking and having a good time. Others are with me speaking to someone about her or anticipating something we're doing later. None of them are ever sexual in nature (which is why I left this out of the Sexuality forum) but they are very vivid and often leave me with a sense of longing.

I only have that feeling in my dreams though. Normally I don't think of her much, besides the occassional "how's she doing?" thoughts. I've moved on with my life and have dated people here an there, but for some reason these dreams keep occuring.

Should I be concerned? Am I more troubled by our breakup than I lead on to be? Are these just old thoughts and memories resurfacing in my sleep? What's the deal? It's starting to become an annoyance.

stevie667

With a relationship that long and involved, it isn't suprising that these types of dreams are happening.
It's most likely that your mind hasn't fully gotten over her, and is manifesting itself through your dreams in a way that allows you to be with her in some way.

Thoughts that you probably repressed are resurfacing, and lets face it, 6 months isn't that much time after a major break up. Try thinking about your dreams after you wake up, how they make you feel, and address anything that you may feel prudent in them.
It's often said that dreaming is a window to the sub-consious, and in a situation like this, i'd say thats a good analagy.

You probably just have a few loose ends in your brain that have yet to tie themselves up, and dreaming about them is just a way to help things along.

Cycler

Yup I've had and I can say it is just your minds way of letting go. They still pop up occasionally concerning my ex wife. Exact same sense of loss as during the divorce when I woke up but they have lessened after about a year and half hardly ever happens anymore.

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HugAPug

I just want to let you know that I'm going through the same thing. So don't feel concerned, it must be very common.

dirtyrascal7

edit: (removed crappy advice)

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Alyssa

Similar situation for me...I posted the "How to fall of love with the ex' thread recently.

For the first year after being apart I had several dreams of us together doing everyday things, like taking walks or shopping etc. I loved having those dreams until I would wake up and he would be gone. Waking back into reality always hurt because you feel like you are losing him all over again in a way. Sometimes I would wake up and then close my eyes quickly, so I could go back into the dream...but that never really worked...I would dream about something else that had nothing to do with him.

I once had a very vivid dream that he came into my room and woke me up, he said may name and I looked up at him and smiled. I then really woke up and was looking in the same direction as where he was standing in my room. It was eery. I don't often hear noises or voices in my dreams, but I did hear him call out to me. As time goes by, the dreams for me became less and less. I only have them after I have been thinking about him a lot.

kempster

I just went through kinda the same. I was with my ex for 4 years and lived with her for three and a half of them. I'm was 23 when we met and she was 18. She was the first gorl that I actually have ever loved. Everything was great for the first three years then it went down hill in a hand basket. I don't know what went wrong but she 'fell' out of love with me I guess. Hell she had it made. Didn't work but went to school, I paid for EVERYTHING, never cheated on her, took her all kinds of places and I mean this girl had it made in the shade. I didn't find out till we broke it off for the third time but she had cheated on me with 7 of my friends. Well no longer friends now. But I had bad dreams and good dreams about her for almost a year. I'm finally over it all and have moved on. So I guess all I'm trying to tell you is that it takes time man. It sucks but I guess it's just part of life.

Mikado

Thanks for the responses guys. The dreams have pretty much stopped in the last four or five days. I guess it's in part to me getting over the whole ordeal, and to the fact I was on vacation keeping my mind on other things. I guess it's just part of the process some of us go through after a break-up. Maybe the cute blonde I met in San Antonio will be the inhabitant of my next dream.