Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > The Academy > Tilted Life


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 05-11-2004, 05:51 AM   #1 (permalink)
Filling the Void.
 
la petite moi's Avatar
 
Location: California
Overwhelmed.

I need to vent.

Okay, I know I've got life good. My dad is semi-sucessful and earns a lot of money (about 90000$ a year); my mother doesn't work. I have a boyfriend (Nwlinkvxd), and my grades are very high (3.8 GPA). However, I find myself continually stressed and upset.

One: Instead of going away for college, I'm stuck in the same room I've lived with my sister in since I was three, because I'm going to a junior college here. It makes me feel like I'm taking the lot of classes in high school for nothing. I get excellent grades....sigh.

Two: Nwlinkvxd lives three and a half hours away, and I usually only see him every other weekend. This summer, he will be working from like nine in the morning until five at night (?), and then on some days he'll be taking Judo. I don't really have any friends that would want me hanging around all the time (all the friends I have are in couples and want to do stuff with their SO), and I am not sure what to do when Nwlinkvxd is working/at Judo. All I know is that from 10h15- noon I am taking an English summer school class and that's it.

Three: My dad is pressing for me to get a job. I have tried SO many places. Just yesterday I got turned down from a job because this summer I have class. Every place is just packed with applications, and no one wants to hire.

Four: Lately I've been having horrible depression spells. Nwlinkvxd is away at his dorm, right? Well, obviously he can't talk to me all the time, but I really wish he could. I always want to talk to him about SOMETHING, despite the fact I don't know what that something is. Anyway, we usually end up getting into huge fights about nothing because I get sad and depressed. I would say that I need something to do, but really, I don't because I should be working on homework and stuff.

Five: I have no idea what I am going to do in the future. My parents told me to get a business degree. So that's what I'm doing and I have no clue how I will get a job I like with that major.

Someone give me advice, or something to just make life seem like a better place....please?
la petite moi is offline  
Old 05-11-2004, 07:07 AM   #2 (permalink)
Tilted Cat Head
 
Cynthetiq's Avatar
 
Administrator
Location: Manhattan, NY
If you can't get a regular job, then take a volunteer one.

It will keep you out of the house and busy, not to mention it will put you out there in the world. you'll be able to meet other people and maybe the networking will net you a job.

Try the usual suspects, Salvation Army, Goodwill, American Cancer Society, the local hospital, etc.
__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.
Cynthetiq is offline  
Old 05-11-2004, 08:16 AM   #3 (permalink)
Shade
 
Nisses's Avatar
 
Location: Belgium
5: don't sweat that so much, get minors in what DOES interest you and you'll be glad you have a thorough business degree to back up any venture you might take afterwards that goes deeper into one of your minors?

2: get other friends
seriously, it sounds odd, but if all they can think about is doing stuff with their SO, and you need to be able to do other stuff too, then find some people, or even just 1 or 2 people that you can do that other stuff with too. You say you don't know what to do? Go out and do something else, anything that interests you, and get acquainted with other people there?

1: I was stuck in the same situation. Unless you are thinking of dropping out and starting again next year at a different place, I suggest you accept it. It's dreadfully boring, I know, but you can't exactly change it. Just try and get out in the evening or during weekends to other places than your local area, might help a bit if the location you spend your time in varies a bit... then again, might not

4: probably the same as 3. You don't spend enough time doing something mentally captivating and challenging for you, a part-time job in something that you care about might help, not just during the summer, but also during one or maybe even 2 nights a week. Listen to Cyn's advice, take a volunteer job in anything that you think might help you later on (if only as a reference on a resume...)



hmm, why can't I ever respond to these things in the right order

oh well, I hope you find at least a little bit of useful info or advice in this post
__________________
Moderation should be moderately moderated.
Nisses is offline  
Old 05-11-2004, 03:30 PM   #4 (permalink)
Filling the Void.
 
la petite moi's Avatar
 
Location: California
Thanks a lot for the advice.
la petite moi is offline  
Old 05-11-2004, 03:46 PM   #5 (permalink)
* * *
 
It sounds like you don't have any intrinsic happiness... what do you have for yourself that makes you happy? If you can't find that you're going to be struggling with that for the rest of your life. It sounds like a lot of decisions are being made for you... that will make anyone feel down. Try to take charge of something and make it yours.
__________________
Innominate.
wilbjammin is offline  
Old 05-11-2004, 03:59 PM   #6 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
Quote:
Five: I have no idea what I am going to do in the future. My parents told me to get a business degree. So that's what I'm doing and I have no clue how I will get a job I like with that major.
What kind of job would you like for now, and for the future, if you could imagine ANY kind of job, even if it doesn't exist, what would you want to do, and would you want to do it for the next 20 years.?
What subjects hold your interest?
What kinds of things do you enjoy doing?
(Working with your hands, creative arts, writing, math, music, history, architecture, languages What makes The Little You in the Almost grown up you happy? Where do you see yourself in 10 years? (that's a scary question)

Depending on the kind of relationship you have with your parents, I'd suggest sitting them down at the dining room table and having a talk with them. As adults, not you as their little girl. One of the jobs of the parent is to guide their offspring, thats you, to a bright future. Just saying ok to them , when they tell you to get a business major, is not going to lead to your eventual happiness, but unless you know what that happiness is, it's going to be a tough conversation.

Suggest going to junior college for a year, then suggest transferring to school XX because school XX offers a really strong program in -- BLAH and BLAH is what you want to do.

Is there a counseling office in your school where you can take some tests to see where your strenghts are, and what might interest you in the future, the results might surprise you.

Volunteer work is a great opportunity, Habitat for Humanity is always looking for volunteers - also check out http://www.volunteermatch.org/ -- this matches volunteers up with thier interests - -most of the projects are short term things, so it might be a good way to audition different types of opportunities, and doing good in the process.

Give yourself a break, you're doing fine. You are in school, trying to make a future for yourself. Don't forget to have a little fun in the process.
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
maleficent is offline  
Old 05-11-2004, 04:03 PM   #7 (permalink)
Filling the Void.
 
la petite moi's Avatar
 
Location: California
Yeah, I have tried talking to my parents though. When I told them that I need their help in order to do what I dream to do, my mother said: What ever gave you the idea that I will just let you do whatever you want?

As though I'm some drug-addicted, wild girl who has parties every weekend.

In response to the post above the last one...I have nothing that truly brings me happiness besides getting good grades, my boyfriend, and French.
la petite moi is offline  
Old 05-11-2004, 04:16 PM   #8 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
::
Quote:
Originally posted by la petite moi

In response to the post above the last one...I have nothing that truly brings me happiness besides getting good grades, my boyfriend, and French.
Gawd, that breaks my heart, seriously...

Does your current school have a languages department? Being bi-lingual and a business major would really open doors for you. My brother majored in French and Philosophy, and has managed to be gainfully employed since he graduated from college.

What is your dream? and is your dream something that gives you happiness. What would it take for you to achieve your dream without your parents help (got news for ya, you are 18, you don't need their permission) if it's something you really want, make a plan.

Back to what makes la petite moi happy -- (I'm a busy body -- so here goes) FIND Something that's just for you, that gives you a smile, that brings joy to you, but it's all about you, you aren't doing it for anyone but you. (Selfishness is definitely allowed) You don't have to turn cartwheels down the hallway, but it should be something, when you are involved in it - -nothing else matters, and it's gotta come from inside you.
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
maleficent is offline  
Old 05-11-2004, 04:29 PM   #9 (permalink)
Tilted Cat Head
 
Cynthetiq's Avatar
 
Administrator
Location: Manhattan, NY
I recommend this book:

I Don't Know What I Want, but I Know It's Not This: A Step-By-Step Guide to Finding Gratifying Work
__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.
Cynthetiq is offline  
Old 05-11-2004, 04:47 PM   #10 (permalink)
Filling the Void.
 
la petite moi's Avatar
 
Location: California
Maleficent, I have tried to get back into doing things I like. The truth is, I like travelling and eating and sitting at my computer. Travelling costs a lot, eating too much will make me fat, and sitting at my computer....is what I do now.

However, I do love languages, like you mentioned. I am going to major in Business, and unfortunately the junior college I'm going to will not have a French course...at all. So I'm going to take the CLP exam to get the units (10) and then perhaps I will minor in French in my junior and senior years.

And no, I know I'm 18, but I still need their permission, since I have no money of my own. I don't have a car, shelter, anything of my own...but I do still have a bedtime and a bed that's in a room I've shared with my sister all my life.

Anyway, you guys encouraged me. I went and looked at that volunteer website. Unfortunately, there is nothing really near by to where I live. However, I did apply to another place I found called Dress for Success. Sounds neat.

What are some other things I can do this summer??

Last edited by la petite moi; 05-11-2004 at 04:50 PM..
la petite moi is offline  
Old 05-11-2004, 04:56 PM   #11 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
Dress for Success is an awesome program Well Done finding it...

...any of the presidential candidates irk you? Or beleive in what their message is? Volunteer to work on their campaign.

Check your local library? they'll rarely turn down free help. Work with kids, ESL, work with seniors - or even just shelving books - if french interests you -- volunteer to give introductory french lessons to kids.




You like languages, you like to travel what about training for a flight attendant
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
maleficent is offline  
Old 05-11-2004, 05:03 PM   #12 (permalink)
Filling the Void.
 
la petite moi's Avatar
 
Location: California
Training to be a flight attendant was actually one thing I kinda wanted to do. I've shoved it aside many times because it's not a high-enough paying job, according to my parents most likely, and I'm not sure I would want to be away from Nwlinkvxd that much. Then again.......I want to be happy.
la petite moi is offline  
Old 05-11-2004, 05:20 PM   #13 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
Experienced flight attendents can earn about 45K -- more if you are a purser -- more for international flights.

I fly pretty much every week, so i get to know some of the flight attendents -- their schedule isn't THAT bad - there are some 14 hour days, but they may be working for 5 days -- then off for 5 days the five days you are working you could end up anywhere. One of the FA's I am really friendly with, takes his boyfriend on him when he's working the exotic locations, and they'll spend a long weekend somewhere fun.

Or be a pilot -- there's lots of money in that.
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
maleficent is offline  
Old 05-11-2004, 05:23 PM   #14 (permalink)
Filling the Void.
 
la petite moi's Avatar
 
Location: California
Do you know any sites I could go to to learn about becoming a flight attendent? Like where do you go to get training?

I wouldn't wanna be a pilot because I don't even like driving! Heheheh.
la petite moi is offline  
Old 05-11-2004, 05:49 PM   #15 (permalink)
The Northern Ward
 
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Get a degree in worrying, you'll make millions . Just relax girly, sit down and figure it out. I was pretty anxious myself before I planned out my future.

My dad recommended business/accounting too. Accounting I see worthwhile (but I'm not taking it anyways), but there's no way in hell I'm getting a business degree. I took him out to dinner and told him what I was going to do. He was cool with it and I'm currently putting myself through school.
__________________
"I went shopping last night at like 1am. The place was empty and this old woman just making polite conversation said to me, 'where is everyone??' I replied, 'In bed, same place you and I should be!' Took me ten minutes to figure out why she gave me a dirty look." --Some guy
Phaenx is offline  
Old 05-11-2004, 05:51 PM   #16 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
Googling found this place
How to Become a Flight Attendent

I'm sure there are a ton of legitimate and scam places about - -when I head home Friday night, I can ask the flight attendents where they got their training for you....
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
maleficent is offline  
Old 05-11-2004, 06:05 PM   #17 (permalink)
Filling the Void.
 
la petite moi's Avatar
 
Location: California
Thanks, that would be awesome.
la petite moi is offline  
Old 05-11-2004, 06:22 PM   #18 (permalink)
Tilted Cat Head
 
Cynthetiq's Avatar
 
Administrator
Location: Manhattan, NY
a friend of mine is an attendant for United. From the stories she told me it's a rigorous training period that is UNPAID. It lasted about 6 months and it required her to move from LA to Texas.

She's now an attendant but low man on the totem pole she doesn't get all the requested routes she wants and usually gets the 6th to 10th choice. It's only after 5 years can you finally get up to a point where you can pick where you want to go.
__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.
Cynthetiq is offline  
Old 05-11-2004, 06:29 PM   #19 (permalink)
Filling the Void.
 
la petite moi's Avatar
 
Location: California
That sounds sucky...yikes.
la petite moi is offline  
Old 05-11-2004, 06:38 PM   #20 (permalink)
Tilted Cat Head
 
Cynthetiq's Avatar
 
Administrator
Location: Manhattan, NY
I almost forgot, she's close to her 5 year mark, her husband is also a flight attendant and they live in London who is over 5 years and does have a stead route. She sometimes comes to NYC but I have yet to still see her when she's in town.

IMHO you should take an inventory of your strengths and weaknesses and then try to figure out what jobs you can do. I'm thinking you can at least type and have computer skills, which means you can work in an office part time.

If you are able to read, I'm going to assume you can file to some degree.

Look in the paper for a local temp agency. I've worked for them in the past and they pay well and continue to send you out for jobs if you work well and are professional and courteous.

Sometimes the jobs were just as simple as being a receptionist and directing people. Sometimes it was answering someone's phones and just taking messages.

Those pay more than minimum wage and will lead to more than just a bunch of other kids who can't help you network your way to another job.
__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.
Cynthetiq is offline  
Old 05-11-2004, 07:14 PM   #21 (permalink)
Filling the Void.
 
la petite moi's Avatar
 
Location: California
Yeah, I applied to a chiropractor's office as a receptionist.
la petite moi is offline  
Old 05-11-2004, 07:58 PM   #22 (permalink)
Tilted Cat Head
 
Cynthetiq's Avatar
 
Administrator
Location: Manhattan, NY
well take the time to go to a placement center.

they will test you on many things such as typing speed, ability to file, attention to detail (picking out similar and dis-similar number sequences) reading comprehension, knowledge of Word, Excel, Powerpoint, Access.

good luck!
__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.
Cynthetiq is offline  
 

Tags
overwhelmed

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 05:01 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360