03-05-2004, 06:36 AM | #1 (permalink) |
Fledgling Dead Head
Location: Clarkson U.
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Friend Question...
In english comp today we read an essay about friends. Basicaly, it detailed that women have friends, people they share everything with, including the most embarassing parts of their lives. They are together, no matter what it may be doing. It tends to be more intimate.
Where as guys... We have buddies. We have work-buddies, baseball-buddies, football-buddies, car-buddies... and so on and so forth. Guys tend to hide the embarassing parts of their lives frim their friends. We would take a bullet for the guy, but not share something we cried about. We do things with our friends though, as opposed to simply being with them as females do. With all the differant groups, we can hang out with whatever group we feel like doing that activity with. Also points out that a man may only talk to his "best-friend" once a month. My question to you is... Do you think this is true? And if so.. WHy? |
03-05-2004, 06:47 AM | #2 (permalink) |
Tilted Cat Head
Administrator
Location: Manhattan, NY
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I talk to my best friend less than once a month. That stems from me living in NYC and him living in LA. If we lived in the same city and driving wasn't so far, we'd probably see each other several times a week.
As far as buddies? I don't call my wife my buddy, she's my TRUE best friend. I have close male friends here in NYC. For ALL my close circle of friends which includes my immediate family, I talk about my feelings with them. We don't just hang out at a bar, do sports type things, play games, and the like. We spend time together communicating and discussing things together.
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03-05-2004, 07:25 AM | #3 (permalink) |
My future is coming on
Moderator Emeritus
Location: east of the sun and west of the moon
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I think it depends on the person less than on their gender. I have some friends (male and female) I would share anything with, and some friends (again, both genders) I only call when I want to do something fun. Most people I know are pretty much the same, regardless of whether they're men or women. Maybe there are some tendencies of men to bond with "buddies" and women to have "confidantes" that are based on fading stereotypes about gender and expression of emotion, but I think they're probably less prevalent than we'd believe.
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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France |
03-05-2004, 09:11 AM | #5 (permalink) |
Americow, the Beautiful
Location: Washington, D.C.
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While I agree that it depends on the person, I think there may be a little something to the generalization. From my experience, it would seem that there are more women on average that keep close groups of friends who spend time together regularly. As for sharing personal things, that has also been attributed to a difference between men and women (in some study I don't remember) - something about natural tendencies for men to have an I-it approach and for women to have an I-thou approach. The way we are socialized probably has an effect on this as well; I know my brothers were always expected to be "men" and be "strong" no matter what.
So, yes, I tend to agree about this slight difference, but I never assume that somebody will act a certain way JUST BECAUSE they are a woman or man.
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"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." (Michael Jordan) |
03-07-2004, 10:26 AM | #7 (permalink) |
An embarrassment to myself and those around me...
Location: Pants
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Going to agree with lurkette as well. It's never as black and white as that, personalities vary to greatly. I talk to one of my best friends maybe once a month, but I'd pretty much share anything with him, including things that really upset me, etc...
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03-07-2004, 09:36 PM | #8 (permalink) |
Here
Location: Denver City Denver
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I agree but the Internet as been helping with leveling that out. I can now come on TFP and talk to guys about my problems and not feel like I'm breaking the "Code of Man." It's really nice.
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