How to be a good conversationalist? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

kenshee · 05-04-2003, 04:19 AM

I think my conversation skills are getting dull. Having those odd "silent moments" lately. Any tips? Advice? Thanks in advance.

guthmund · 05-04-2003, 04:41 AM

I find it's a better conversation if you're confortable in the 'silent moments.' Once I was comfortable with the sounds of silence the conversations were always a little better and didn't seem quite so forced.

Cynthetiq · 05-04-2003, 05:10 AM

silent moments are just an evlolution of converstaion. One cannot just yammer awy for hours and hours. It also give someone time to digest what was said and formulate thoughts and impressions.

Minx · 05-04-2003, 12:52 PM

I think the key to being a good conversationalist is to be a good listener first. And to not be afraid to say the words "I don't know". Amazing how much you can learn if you can admit that.

*Nikki* · 05-04-2003, 06:53 PM

Know a little bit about everything. That way you will always have something to contribute even if it only a sentence or two.

Study, read, learn.

Craven Morehead · 05-04-2003, 08:36 PM

"I think the key to being a good conversationalist is to be a good listener first."

Bingo. Listen intently, nod while you're doing so. Ask questions that can not be answered with one word. Listening can be work and it doesn't come naturally to some people. Take some time and develop this skill.

clavus · 05-04-2003, 10:10 PM

Great advice. I'd like to add -
Ask questions about the other person. People love to talk about themselves.

moko · 05-05-2003, 01:14 AM

All my advice has been stated already. Listening to others, asking questions that show you're listening and letting them know you are genuinely interested are keys to being a good conversationalist IMO. Having said that, you'll no doubt come up against some poor communicators who just want to blather at you for hours at a time. For them, try your active not listening skills.

gibber71 · 05-05-2003, 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by moko
Having said that, you'll no doubt come up against some poor communicators who just want to blather at you for hours at a time. For them, try your active not listening skills.

I like that. Listen to what's important and just hear all the rest.

kenshee · 05-05-2003, 06:05 PM

Thanks for the wonderful advices!
I learned a lot. Now I won't be afraid to say "I don't know". That's very helpful.

-Ever- · 05-07-2003, 04:31 PM

Of how true I find the other advice to be, I think it's most imporant to be a good listener (which I suck at sometimes), and to also be natural. Yeah somepeople hate an akward silence, but I get really bugged by smalltalk as well. I think you should just go about yourself naturally. I find that most quiet people, after they feel comfortable to talk, have some pretty interesting things to say because they're busy thinking instead of flapping their lips

TrollInvestigtr · 05-07-2003, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by clavus
Great advice. I'd like to add -
Ask questions about the other person. People love to talk about themselves.

That could be a fatal mistake with the wrong person (especially one of those Jappy girls)

reverendjay · 05-12-2003, 07:57 PM

One of the easiest ways to keep a conversation going is to ask questions. The best way to do this is to take something that they just said, or said a minute or two ago, and incorporate that into the question.

Them: "I love working with animals."
You: "Animals eh? What kind are your favorite to work with?"

This works for one of two situations... First, you are customizing the conversation to find out more about them, as well as proving that you are listening and paying attention which is important because you like and respect them and want to know more. The second situation is that they're basically a blathering idiot and you don't want to have to pay any more attention to them than absolutely necessary.

05-04-2003, 04:19 AM	#1 (permalink)
kenshee Tilted	How to be a good conversationalist? I think my conversation skills are getting dull. Having those odd "silent moments" lately. Any tips? Advice? Thanks in advance.

05-04-2003, 04:41 AM	#2 (permalink)
guthmund big damn hero	I find it's a better conversation if you're confortable in the 'silent moments.' Once I was comfortable with the sounds of silence the conversations were always a little better and didn't seem quite so forced. __________________ No signature. None. Seriously.

05-04-2003, 05:10 AM	#3 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	silent moments are just an evlolution of converstaion. One cannot just yammer awy for hours and hours. It also give someone time to digest what was said and formulate thoughts and impressions. __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

05-04-2003, 12:52 PM	#4 (permalink)
Minx Junkie Location: Up yonder	I think the key to being a good conversationalist is to be a good listener first. And to not be afraid to say the words "I don't know". Amazing how much you can learn if you can admit that. __________________ You've been a naughty boy....go to my room!

05-04-2003, 10:10 PM	#7 (permalink)
clavus pow! Location: NorCal	Great advice. I'd like to add - Ask questions about the other person. People love to talk about themselves. __________________ Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

05-04-2003, 06:53 PM	#5 (permalink)
Nikki ~~~~~~~ Location: Charleston, SC	Know a little bit about everything. That way you will always have something to contribute even if it only a sentence or two. Study, read, learn.

05-04-2003, 08:36 PM	#6 (permalink)
Craven Morehead Custom User Title	"I think the key to being a good conversationalist is to be a good listener first." Bingo. Listen intently, nod while you're doing so. Ask questions that can not be answered with one word. Listening can be work and it doesn't come naturally to some people. Take some time and develop this skill.

05-05-2003, 01:14 AM	#8 (permalink)
moko Upright	All my advice has been stated already. Listening to others, asking questions that show you're listening and letting them know you are genuinely interested are keys to being a good conversationalist IMO. Having said that, you'll no doubt come up against some poor communicators who just want to blather at you for hours at a time. For them, try your active not listening skills.

05-05-2003, 06:05 PM	#10 (permalink)
kenshee Tilted	Thanks for the wonderful advices! I learned a lot. Now I won't be afraid to say "I don't know". That's very helpful.

05-07-2003, 04:31 PM	#11 (permalink)
-Ever- Junkie Location: San Francisco	Of how true I find the other advice to be, I think it's most imporant to be a good listener (which I suck at sometimes), and to also be natural. Yeah somepeople hate an akward silence, but I get really bugged by smalltalk as well. I think you should just go about yourself naturally. I find that most quiet people, after they feel comfortable to talk, have some pretty interesting things to say because they're busy thinking instead of flapping their lips __________________ Embracing the goddess energy within yourselves will bring all of you to a new understanding and valuing of life. A vision that inspires you to live and love on planet Earth. Like a priceless jewel buried in dark layers of soil and stone, Earth radiates her brilliant beauty into the caverns of space and time. Perhaps you are aware of those who watch over your home And experience of this place to visit and play with reality. You are becoming aware of yourself as a gamemaster... --Acknowledge your weaknesses-- Last edited by -Ever-; 05-07-2003 at 04:34 PM..

05-12-2003, 07:57 PM	#13 (permalink)
reverendjay Insane Location: Baltimore	One of the easiest ways to keep a conversation going is to ask questions. The best way to do this is to take something that they just said, or said a minute or two ago, and incorporate that into the question. Them: "I love working with animals." You: "Animals eh? What kind are your favorite to work with?" This works for one of two situations... First, you are customizing the conversation to find out more about them, as well as proving that you are listening and paying attention which is important because you like and respect them and want to know more. The second situation is that they're basically a blathering idiot and you don't want to have to pay any more attention to them than absolutely necessary. __________________ I'm married now, so the only thing in my house that pulls out now is the couch.