The "Guess what my kid did!" thread

Ok, stories of silly things they said, silly events, amazing experiences, grand milestones, etc.
Celebrate it here!




-We were reading a bedtime story and there was a rainbow with a character sliding down on it on the page and Drew says "Rainbows are slippery!"

-My 4 yr. old son practically knows all the characters on all Star Wars Movies (1, 2, 4-6), recites half of all the movies, and knows which of his many lightsabers are which characters'.

-After a shower/bath with his daddy, I take him in his room to get jammies on and he lies down and grabs his area and said "these are testicles! and balls!" Gee, I wonder what they talked about in there?.......

[PorscheBunny]

Helen (18 months) says "Hi!" and "Bye!" to everyone right now.

In Wal-Mart this evening, some teenage boy told her to shut up when she said hi. She got a angry look on her face and said to him "BITCH!"

I wonder where she got the attitude problem. (She and I are both redheads.)

[Redlemon]

When I get my 16 month old out of his crib in the morning, the first thing he does is point to the stereo. Sure, he has a huge wet diaper on, but the tunes are of primary importance.

He also knows how to open the front of the Bose stereo and which button turns it on, in case the music isn't on in the living room.

[lurkette]

Originally posted by PorscheBunny
Helen (18 months) says "Hi!" and "Bye!" to everyone right now.

In Wal-Mart this evening, some teenage boy told her to shut up when she said hi. She got a angry look on her face and said to him "BITCH!"

I wonder where she got the attitude problem. (She and I are both redheads.)

Funniest image - this cute little toddler copping a 'tude and saying "bitch!" Good work!!!

And redlemon - glad to know your kid has his priorities straight!

[mb99usa]

When she was about 18months my little girl caught on to one of my favorite phrases "oh shit" and knew how to use it properly. Took a lot of training on both our parts to end that.

[raeanna74]

My favorite story was when she was 1 (she's 3 now) and she was in nursery at church. There were 2 boys and about 4 girls in there besides her. One of the boys decided to pester the girls. Even to pulling their hair, pushing them down and knocking them on the heads with toys. I was one of the nursery workers that day and there were 2 others - one in the room off ours with the infants. We triwed everything we could to calm this little boy down. He had pushed Laura twice and once she shook her finger at him saying "No No." Second time She stood up and pushed him and said the same. Then she happened to see him across the room walk up to one little girl and grab her hair. Us workers weren't near enough or fast enough. Laura saw it and took a running dive, tackling this boy on the floor. She then stood up, shook her finger and said "No No!" again. He looked at her in surprise but didn't cry. From then on he stopped his harrassment. My girl is the tough cookie. lol

My son got his very first progress report in preschool. He has done very well, the only thing we are told he needs to work on is his listening skills. No surprise there!

[clavus]

During a polite visit with friends whom we had not seen in ages, my three year old son inturrupted the conversation with -

"I have an idea. Let's look at my penis!"

Yup. That's my boy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have been quite sad lately over the death of a friend whom I had known since I was 5. I tried to act normal around my kid, and didn't say anything about it to him. But there is no fooling him. He and my wife were at the store, and out of the blue he suggested that they buy me a flower to cheer me up.

What a wonderful flower it is.

What kind of a 3-year-old thinks like that?

^^^^ lmao. You sound like my husband when those things happen!

Age 3 is amazing.

[Grondar]

Originally posted by clavus
During a polite visit with friends whom we had not seen in ages, my three year old son inturrupted the conversation with -

"I have an idea. Let's look at my penis!"

Yup. That's my boy.

very cute, and very funny too!

[macmanmike6100]

Originally posted by PorscheBunny
Helen (18 months) says "Hi!" and "Bye!" to everyone right now.

In Wal-Mart this evening, some teenage boy told her to shut up when she said hi. She got a angry look on her face and said to him "BITCH!"

you have to admit that she was so right :-)

[raeanna74]

PorscheBunny I told hubby about the "Bitch" story. He got a good laugh out of it. He asked me "So how did the teen boy react to that?"

Clavis - those were great. Thanks for sharing.

[PorscheBunny]

He walked off acting like he ignored it. (kinda anti-climatical I know)

[Reese]

I don't have kids of my own but I thought this was too good not to share.

Yesteday, My 3 year old sister came running up to me and said "Guess what I have in my butt!" I smiled and said I don't know and she said "QUARTER!" a few minutes later she comes back and says "Bubba, Guess what I got in my butt" I don't know.. "FINGER!"

Funniest moment EVER!

[Symphony]

What is up with a little boy and his penis? My son, Ocean (grade K) want's to show it to all his friends! I've been told by one parent, and his teacher 3 times (All different kids too). Maybe it's because I'm a woman that I don't get it???? As soon as he no longer needed to wear diapers, he began sticking it out of the top of his shorts or pants! Did I do this as a little girl and now just don't remember it? Anyone with girls out there?

[PorscheBunny]

It isn't just little boys, it's all males regardless of age. They just change the phrasing from "wanna see my pee-pee" to "oh baby, you're making me harder than Chinese algebra."

Girls don't have anything sticking out of their bodies. Boys are fascinated as it is an obvious extension that is very noticable and fun to play with. It's almost like a toy to them and what's so great about it is that they are comfortable with their body parts- let them be!

[Symphony]

Originally posted by :::OshnSoul:::
they are comfortable with their body parts- let them be!

Oh man do I try to let it be; (I don't want him to think it's wrong or anything) this boy just needs firm limits on the time and place for said activity!!!! He makes other people uncomfortable! (And yes especially me). 3 christmas parties, 2 birthdays, and 5 times at school, not to mention the number of times at home... always when we have company oh, and there's friends houses... don't get me started on that one! Now that he's a bit older it is happening with less frequency. Whew!

Back to: Guess what my kid did...
didn't mean to loose topic, well I guess this sort of applies.

[mystmarimatt]

I'm no parent, but my folks told me that when i was a baby, I would cry so much, that one day, annoyed out of his wits by me, my older brother, then 3, demanded

"Mom! Put the baby back!"

[housedude]

About boys and the penis thing:
My boys are 10, 7, and 16 months, so I've lived it and seen it!

I think the crux of it is that the penis is where the ACTION is. The thing is always at work peeing - and it sure does feel good to that little one! My 16 month old starts playing as soon as the diapers off. It just plain feels good. What agreat mystery! here's this handle on my body that lets out nice warm liquid, and I feel good while it's happening! The ears just don't give that kind of sensation!
Then, as they grow, even more sensations start down there! Too cool! Ever see a little baby hard on? Must feel great to them.
Then the kicker sets in. Adults say you should keep it to yourself! Adults don't single out the ears, nose, arms, etc for that kind of special treatment. So it gets even better...

[fatboss]

Last Christmas the shops were the usual madness. We were trying to stop our youngest son (4) from being the devil child that he can be by saying 'Father Christmas is watching you, he won't bring you any pressies if you don't behave.' the usual parent bribery thing.
Walking out of this particular store, who should be standing there at the door, but Father Christmas!
We start giving it 'see we told you he was watching' and the guy dressed as Santa plays along too.
My son looked extremely sheepish, but just as he was out of the doorway he turns around and shouts at Santa at the top of his voice, 'SLAP HEAD!!!'

Mum and Dad were speechless to say the least!!

[japhyryder]

My little girl is just starting on the DaDa MaMa and bye-bye with the wave

11 months--- seems like yesterday

[grumpyolddude]

You guys may have made a mistake starting a "brag about the kid" thread! I will try to restrain myself, but...

My 15 year old son in a 2 time state Jr. chess champ, won national action singles in 2002. He is a USChess certified instructor and teachers the game in several school districts, and privately.
He averages over 190 in two different bowling leagues, shot 731 last week and his team leads the city YABA tournament.

He's my middle child. His older brother and younger sister are remarkable as well, but I'll save some for later.

(I'm chuckling at the stories being told here. You are reviviing memories of some very good times. Enjoy and cherish all of these moments. My youngest is now 12 years old, but it was only a blink ago that she was the cutest toddler ever! Tempus Fugit!)

My 3 year old girl insists that she is a boy and could argue with you for hours about it...
of course the arguement goes something like...

Me: you're a girl
Her: NO! Im a boy

She also loves Spiderman and we will probably have to resort to putting her in Spiderman underwear to get her potty trained.

[whawhawha]

Originally posted by mtn_biker30
She also loves Spiderman and we will probably have to resort to putting her in Spiderman underwear to get her potty trained.

Hey whatever works -- it's all good...

I had to bribe my oldest with M&Ms. She went 30 times a day, but I didn't object as long as there were no diapers to change.

She's 13 now and more often than not, she goes without the M&Ms.

[hrdwareguy]

My son who is 2 1/2 has discovered that he can gain an erection by doing certain things while at other times it just magically happens. The other night, my wife was giving him a bath in the tub and he was playing in the water. He rolled onto his stomach and scooted around a bit playing with his toys. He then stands up, realizes he has a hard on, looks at my wife and says, "Me big like daddy!!"

She had to leave the bathroom so he did not see her laughing.

[txgirl]

Well i have two stories...we all know that as mommies we kiss ur little ones little pains and scratches away to make them feel better. Well one day when my son was 4 and he was on the potty and his little wiener got hard and he said it was sore and YELLED mommy my wiener is sore can you kiss it better...timing as it was, my husband at the time was in the other room...asking the same thing....thru his laughter of course.
Second, JUST the other day, my now 9 yr old looked at me in front of my bf and said...mom you have something up your nose...got get rid of all those hairs. I thought i was going to die...of course while running to the bathroom to check..which of course, there weren't...My bf was too laughing...so ladies...i doesn't get any better as they get older..they just can express it differently!

[toxic515]

okay, I finally have one that's worth posting..
My son's 9 and in Little league baseball.. Tonight, his coach had a special guest, a former pro pitcher, who came and gave the kids tips on throwing, and so forth, but at the end of the practice, he threw 3 pitches to each kid. Much faster than anything they'd ever swing at. (not pro-speed, but damned fast).. My sone hit all 3 pitches, fowling the first, a good base hit on the 2nd, and out of the field on the 3rd.. He's never played before, and this is their 3rd practice.. Some of the other kids got it once, but nobody else hit it more than one time. All the dads and coaches got REAL excited...

this may be a fun thing for me as a dad afterall...

Last week we took our son to gymnastics right after him attending a trial Tae Kwan Do class. Half-way through his gym class, I decide to go to the shoestore to hunt for new shoes for our daughter. So, my husband stayed and watched him. I come back and he's out of class, getting his shoes on. I see a smirk on my son's face and an embarrased look on my husband's. Apparently, my son decided to take off his pants and run around the gym. Glad everyone had a good laugh- I am sure I couldn't even keep a straight face if I saw that.

[cali]

Reading all of the posts are so funny, I have just 2 funny little stories to tell about my son (soon to be 18).

When he was about 2,he had learned to go potty like daddy and was very proud of this accomplishment, I was cooking dinner and was racing around the kitchen trying to finish up and I had to pee like a racehorse, but could'nt go b/c of dinner on the stove, he walks into the kitchen and asks me"momma, can I help? and just out of the sheer need to pee really bad, I said" baby, momma needs to potty , but can't go , would you go for me? and went right back to finishing up dinner. Next thing I know here he comes running down the hall yelling "momma, do you feel better, I pee pee for you! At that point I sat down in the floor and told him "yes, I feel better, thank you. so innocent.

My husband and I always told our son that if he told a story that it would show up on his forehead, and we would know that he did. fast forward to 1st grade, Teacher calls me and tells me that he kicked a boy, ( he was learning tae kwon do) so that afternoon I always met him at the bus stop, and would ask him how was his day at school,

That afternoon, I'm waiting at the bus stop, he gets off with his hand covering his forehead, I try not to bust into laughter, and walk over to him hug him and ask him how was his day. He still his hand covering his forehead, and says to me, I had a good day momma and walks on to our house. I fell out laughing right there in the yard.

TIME GOES BY SO INCREDIBLY FAST WITH CHILDREN, TREASURE EACH AND EVERY DAY, AS IF IT WAS YOUR LAST, MAKE MEMORIES, MAKE TIME, SHARE WHAT YOU KNOW. SO THAT WHEN THEY HAVE THEIR OWN, THEY WILL REMEMBER, AND YOU WILL HAVE STARTED A BEAUTIFUL AWESOME CYCLE.

THEY WILL REMEMBER YOU FOR THAT SPECIAL GIFT

My 4 yr. old son just drew not only once, but twice, the most amazing picture of a 'monster'. All I did was draw the teeth. But both times he drew them quickly, and exactly the same. I don't even think I am being biast- if you saw it, you may think it is great work for a 4 yr old who usually doesn't draw! It LOOKS like a monster!
He might just take after his daddy!

Our son spilt water on his pants at dinner time, so here he is with no pants on while I get a new pair. Well, he's on the couch and he starts playing with himself- poking and pinching and pulling- and all of the sudden he's got a huge stiffy. He starts using both hands and rubbing up and down and cupping it and stroking it just like masturbating!! We couldn't help but laugh hysterically- and he was giggling as well. Then we initiated the "if you want to play with yourself, go to your room. but you at least have underwear on while you're just haging around the house".
Ah, it was too funny.

[sexymama]

On the way to our latest gymnastics meet, the girls were fighting over who got to go first in the next car game. I suggested we pick a number between 1 and 100. Both girls and grandma picked numbers, then I said, "14." My youngest says, "what was the number mom?" I reply, "14." She says, "oh, you won." I start laughing. Then the eldest says, "breathe mom, breathe." This causes me to laugh even harder as they have no idea what I'm laughing about. Of course it helped that grandma was busting up too. I wonder how long until they figure out I cheated. They are bright girls normally.

[ngdawg]

My son was prone to temper tantrums as a toddler and one day in Walmart, he started one just as we got to the check-out line. Customers were starting to stare as I tried not to lose it and calm him down. I finally told him to stick out his tongue. Sobbing, he did so. Then, I told him, now sing your ABC song. Through tears, he began, AthBTH THee....everyone around us starting laughing and pretty soon, so did he.
Second quick one: with twins, quiet is not normal. At 16 months,they were in the playroom (i kept a child gate at the doorway) and it got pretty quiet except the faint sound of a Nintendo 64 game. I grabbed the video camera(I taped them every day for several minutes) sneaked in and saw my son sitting there in front of the tv, controller in hand, playing a game he put into the console and, after saying 'uh-oh, I got killt', would hit 'reset' and go again. And this was a kid who, when he spoke, didn't say anything anyone could understand!!(he is now, at 12, a major computer whiz)

awwww, lol

[Fishin Musician]

Cool thread, thought I would share a couple of mine… some of my favorites have come out of my daughter…like they say “kids say the darnest things”

One when she was about three we were going into the gas station and a young lady was walking up to the door, so being polite I open the door and let her go first. My daughter pipes up and says.”Why did you do that Dad, was it because shes a babe?”

Another one that we still tease her to this day (she’s 14 now) was she has always liked music, grew up listing to mom and dads music…so when she was about 8 or 9 she was going through the cd’s and you could tell she wasn’t finding what she was looking for. Asked her what cd she wanted? She says “I am looking for the Harold Smith cd” the wife and I was looking at her thinking “who’s Harold Smith??” Then it hit me, I said do you mean “Aerosmith” We still ask her if she wants to listen to Harold Smith? She just gives us the look…LOL

One day at the park, the state police have a station right next door, and they were talking to kids and showing them the police cars. My wife takes our daughter (about 4) over to see the cars, and was talking to the trooper; he noticed that our daughter has on a pair of "Lion King" shoes on. And he comments about her shoes, she whips around and pulls her pants down and says” look I have "Lion King" undies too”. The wife about died…LOL

But my all time favorite…when she was five, I stopped by the cemetery to visit my Dad’s grave. Was telling her about her grandpa (he died before she was born). At the cemetery, Dad has a headstone at the top of the grave and a military plaque that is at the foot of the grave. She was asking what the headstone was and what the other one was and I was explaining it to her. When the cemetery placed them on the grave, they only put the two stones about four feet apart. So after a bit of looking and thinking about the stones, she looks up at me and says, ”your Dad wasn’t very tall was he” I busted up, Dad would have loved that one.

[imkeen]

My 4 yr old daughter and I were heading home one night after I picked her up from daycare and I had National Public Radio news on the radio. She told me that "Dad, I don't think about adult stuff, but when you play this music it makes me think."

I think she's the coolest...

oh, wow- that'a a pretty mature line for a 4-yr-old. My 4 yr old son amazes me with his thought process and big words too.

[raeanna74]

I am enjoying this thread. I keep coming back to check it out again. I can see it sticking around for a long time. Our kids are always surprising us with new stuff. Some of thing things mentioned here are so funny. Thanks all for sharing.

[agball]

My son who recently turned 3 made up a song called the Itsy Bitsy Poopie Spider. We were at my folks house & he just started singing:

"The Itsy Bitsy Spider climbed up the Poopie spout, down came the rain & washed the Poopie out, out came the sun and dried up all the Poop and the Itsy Bitsy spider climbed up the Poop again"

It came out of nowhere so it was hystircal.