Found a new bike for my daughter who will be 5 next week. She was beginning to need something bigger. She tried it and decided she wanted the training wheels switched from her old to her new one. I switched them and then she tried riding her old bike without the training wheels. She's now zipping around on the old 2 wheel bike with no help. It amazed me when she just got on and zipped off without any help or hardly any practice. WOW!

We were at a friend's place on the weekend and my daughter was playing downstairs with their kids. Suddenly their daughter came tearing up the stairs shouting something about our daughter...

Run downstairs expecting the worst... she has climbed up into their bathroom sink, retreived the nail scissors from the medicine cabinet and proceeded to hack big chunks of hair from her noggin...

My wife was pretty upset with her but it was all I could do to keep from laughing...

It doesn't look that bad... but she did hack off quite a bit.

I did that more than once as a kid, haha. The worst was when I knew better but cut the underside of my hair to make it less voluminous...my mom had to shave part of my head.

My wife was going to take her to get it all cut off but I convinced her that she could get away with it the way it is...

I wish I had that excuse... but it was just a miscommunication between the barber and me, and now my boy has a crew cut. My wife is not pleased.

I had a classic situation with a friends child when we were at baseball. It was my turn to sit for an inning and he was crawling all over me. I was giving him "horsy" rides, and he was having a ball. And then he asks how old I was, and I said that I was 20, and I'm sure we all know what he said next, "wow, you're old." And then he explained that he was three. It cracked me up, this has happened a couple of times to me, but it's funny everytime.

My daughter is on a roll with "uh-oh" these days. It started with my wife saying it when my daughter dropped her pacifier. Very soon, my daughter picked it up. Now she says "uh-oh" then drops the pacifier (then smiles really big)

She's up to mama and "Bawa" ("Bawa" is our cat, Buster - she only ever says it when she crawls after him so the cat just got re-christened!)

My little girl is 15 months old, and today she came up to me and said "poo poo", and i took her and put her on the potty and she pooped. yes! she now done that twice now, and she wakes up with dry diaper now. Can't believe she is getting this already, very cool. think i screamed "effing right" while she went, not my best choice of words, but was caught up in the moment. ah the joys of a stay at home dad.

My 9 year old daughter took her brand new school tennies off and put on old ones before going out to play - without my even having to say a word! Oh, it was bliss when I noticed.

And not to leave out the boy - he's jazzed about being the oldest kid at his table this year (he's 2nd grade, and the school is set up in learning centers which group K - 2 together in the same class).

Just was giving my 17 month old some nekked time to run around without a diaper. She just peed on the cat. Walked right over, hovered over the cat and let it go. diaper is back on.....lmao.

Hey! I did the same thing, just this morning! :lol:


Ok... enough nonsense.


I couldn't find the car key this morning and called to my wife upstairs to see if she knew where it was... I was searching the front room when my 3 year old daughter bounced up and handed me the spare key, "Here ya go Daddy. Spare key!" and then bounced back to the kitchen to finish her breakfast. The space key is kept in a drawer in the kitchen.

It was very cute.

I am still laughing about peeing on the cat lol. Oh reading all these stories have been sooo great. I have a 5 year old daughter and almost 3 year old son and have been staying home with them for almost 5 1/2 years and have seen some amazing things but am also going stir crazy.

One of my fav daughter stories is still from when she was 2. She was in the bathtub and we were talking about her freckles and moles. We were pointing out all the ones we could find and she piped up with "I have so many dots, they should just call me Dotty Williams". We still call her that now and again but she doesn't like it so much now hehe.

Ever since he could sit up by himself, we've been playing this game with our son (10mo) where we throw our hands high up in the air and say "UP!", with the hopes that he will play along. It always got a smile, but yesterday he did it back to us. He even made an 'up' sounding noise. After a couple of goes, he started leading us. This went on for twenty minutes and we couldn't stop laughing!

I take my daughter (18 months) to the local library for toddler programs. Everything from singing and dancing to baby sign language. Today the teacher was teaching some basic animal signs, dog, cat..etc. Anyway the teacher was holding up pictures as she was going through various animals, and she flipped over a picture of an elephant and goes "now kids will not be able to pronounce this word until there older, but here is the sign for it". Before she could get to the end of her sentence my daugher yells out "ELEPHANT!". And then shouted out the colour of it (which was purple). The teacher looked amazing and said she was so surprised a child so young could say such a word.
I sat there and was beaming inside. Thought to myself fucking right on!
Then I though, big deal, she can do tons of animals, and there sounds, and tell you the colour. Made my day (nice to get outside praise on how well your doing!). Not to mention when the program first started some of the ladies in the class were insulting men's parenting skills and I heard one of them question if a stay at home dad was a good thing. Eat that!

Eat that indeed. What a completely ignorant thing for them to say.

We were at the Dollar Tree today. Some employee had the bright idea of filling an endcap with stemmed glassware. My daughter had chosen some glowstick necklaces to buy. While she continued to walk around and look at things she put the sticks in her shopping basket that she was carrying. They stuck out a good distance. I'm sure you can guess where this is going. - Yup the sticks caught a couple of the glasses off the bottom shelf and sent them tumbling. I came to help pick up and another customer commented that it wasn't a good place to have those glasses. The manager and cashier both came over to help pick up pieces of glass. Thankfully only one glass had been broken. My daughter wanted to help but was told not to touch the broken pieces for fear she'd get cut. While she stood by and watched she turned, set down her basket, pulled out her purse and said "I guess you better watch our for me when I've got some long stick like that (pointing to the glow stick package), I'm dangerous. How much do I need to pay?" The manager stopped and practically stared at her. Then said "What?" She repeated her question and he caught it that time. He answered her that she didn't need to pay for the glass, it shouldn't have been put there. It was ok. To which my daughter replied "Thankyou. I'm sorry I bumped them."
She is 5 years old.
Makes her Moma proud.

Wow...kiddo's sharp ain't she?

Just to give y'all an idea where these bright children are headed:
I took my 13 year old son to get his hair cut. Well, it got SHAVED. Nothing left but some fuzz, of which he was pretty mad.
Tonight at soccer, he came across an old coach, who said to him, 'What happened to your hair?? You in prison now?' To which my smartass son replied: "Yea. Left the jumpsuit home though". :lol:

Ok...everyday, when I pick my 3 year old son up from daycare, I give him a sandwich that I save back from my lunch for him. It's ritual now, and he enjoys it. Now, I'm one of the 4 people on the planet that actually likes pickle loaf. So, I give him half of my diagonal cut sandwich, and he munches happily. After a few minutes, I look over and see that he's eaten the bread, but left the meat. I told him to finish it. He looks at me, as though I've finally gone off the deep end, and says "Trash", while holding up the pickle loaf. I told him that it was meat, and that he should eat it. Now I get the look that tells me that all doubt has left him. His dad has finally crossed over into dementia. "No, Dad...this is not meat...this is trash.
Who made him a little lunch meat connoisseur?

Today my soon-to-be 2 yo was eating her pb&j. I asked her set the plate down. So she set it on the floor. (I was hoping she would put it back on the table.) Can't fault her, really.

Very smart kid.

I can't believe I've never seen this thread before! At any rate, though it happened a while ago now, Redlemon, I'd say that's pretty major. Some of the most simple joys in life are often overlooked. I can't wait until my Ethan jumps in his first puddle!

Not your usual 'my kid discovered how to blow milk thru his nose' precious moment :lol: , but I wanted to share this.
Daniel has taught himself Flash and does a lot of animation in it. This is his latest. I'm in awe of this kid's talents and he's only 13!!!!
Flash cartoon
He has a lot more in Deviant Art under 'geek-of-jersey'.

Advise appreciated. A week ago my 6 year old son was at his grandparents house after school and was on the computer on his usual sites of disney online and such. His grandparents are absolutely wonderful and very attentive so please no bashing on their behalf. They discovered shoved in the computer desk drawer, 6 full color printed pornography photos. (Pretty lewd. Even to my standards.) Well, his grandparents did not confront him and just told his mother and I about this. His grandfather did check the url history and it saw that he did actually type in a website. There were 3 other attempts to type in this website name correctly, thats how we know that it wasn't a pop up. His mother asked me to talk to him about this with him. I personally am 100% lost on how to aproach him on this issue. I mean he is only 6 years old! Maybe if he were like 13 or teen years I would have a better clue on how to go about this. Any advice?
-concerned parent

Ask him what did he think he was doing, first off, but not so accusatory that he attempts to lie. You don't have to go into a moral monologue of any length at that age. If he thought it was ok, he wouldn't have shoved them away, so he knows he did wrong right there. Points to the kid tho...not many 6 year olds would want to print out porn pix...they'd go EW, I think, no?
You: Son, we found some pix at grandma's and they aren't hers. Know anything about them?
Son: Uh.....*shuffles feet, looks at floor*...no...maybe....I dunno....
You: Son, you never have to lie. I just want to know why you wanted those pix?
Son: *sniffle*
You: You must have known you were not doing something your mother or I would like if you felt you had to hide it. And you are right. Now, next time you see something you're not sure about, I want you to ask me first, ok? Now, why'd you print the pix? *hands son a popsicle*....

Or....something like that.

I dont have kids, personally the thought of actually having one scares me but maybe someday... but I have an adoreable nephew to brag on...

Hes pretty advanced for a 5 year old. He LOVES the cell phone, he can use it better than my sister I think. So last Wednesday he calls me and he tells me that "I'm with mama in Wal-Mart and she said that we needed to call you so I did" I told him what a good boy he was and it was nice to talk to him(he doesn't talk a lot, he will call 10 different people and only talk about 3 min to each of them). He then told me that they were buying some flip flops for his brother Jordan(the hellchild) and some shorts for him to play in. I hear a kid screaming in the background and its interrupted by "If I was like that Mama would stop the cart, take me out and we would go to the car. I wouldnt get anything, hes a bad boy. Mama hes being a bad boy right?" I damn near lost it laughing because while my nephew is well behaved... he likes to push the envelope... but I didnt know he was THAT smart.

My nephew constantly amazes me with the things he observes. Like when I took him to the grocery store while I visited them over the summer he said "Aunt Megan, I have to pee" my reply was "ok kid, do you know where the bathroom is in this place" since I was not from there.. he said "I forget, let me think".."ok kid you think, but hurry, I dont want you to go in your pants"... "I dont pee my pants anymore, Im a big boy".. "ok kid... lets find the potty." Suddenly he sees one of the store employees and he RUNS up toher holding his crotch and goes "Hey nice lady can you please tell me where the potty is, I gotta go" We both laughed and she pointed in the general direction and by this point we could see the sign... at least he was polite..

My son is almost four months now, so he's learning how to grasp objects and bring them to his mouth to chew/suck on. He also just LOVES to suck on his fist and arm. He'll do it for hours and hours. He's even given himself hickies on his arm, hehe.

So today he was chillin' on my lap when he suddenly sticks his hand straight out in front of him. He rotates it for a little while, just staring at it like he has NO idea what it is, and then he makes this hilarious face like it's the most amazing thing to ever cross his eyes, right before he shoves it in his mouth as fast as he can. Then then proceeded to attempt to swallow half his arm. :lol:

It was too funny! :D

That's so cute it makes me sick. Lol. :)

This made me laugh today. I cleaned the living room, where my son (age 3 1/2) has a majority of his toys. I did this while he was in preschool. Usually, he gets mad at me for moving everything around and proceeds to make a huge mess. This time, he comes in and says "Great job Mom. You really cleaned up good." It made me feel appreciated.

After about 2 months of being able to walk, but not having the confidence to go more than a few steps without holding one of our hands, something clicked, and our 16mo old son is suddenly walking solo like a pro. It's all he wan't to do. He never ceases to amaze us.

My just-turned-3 year old was eating a pretzel and she bit off one "ear" and the bottom and held it upside down. "Daddy," she says, "Look! It's a chrysalis!" Wow. So I say, "Oh yeah, what's a chrysalis?" "It's where a caterpiller goes to be a beautiful butterfly!"

So, yeah, she's smarter than many adults (my dad didn't know what a chrysalis was when I told him the story).

My 11-year-old son went to the dentist yesterday. He officically has no more baby teeth and his 12-year-old molars are coming in... he's no longer a baby.

This morning I was driving Poxy Cleopatra (my 3-year-old with Chicken Pox) to a friend's place to stay for the day. The stop and go traffic made her car sick. She told me she had to barf and the only thing I had for her to barf in was the bag with my Tim Horton's doughnut... The sacrifices we make.

She got it all in the bag... what a trooper.

why didn't you take the doughnut out first? more room in the bag for puke then...

TALENT!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

I don't have any kids of my own but I have a 7 year old niece. She is being raised in a non-religious home but goes to a Catholic school (they have a great French Emmersion program).

The other day she, my mother and I were driving around town and we decided to pop through the drive through at Tim Horton's for a snack. My niece asked if we could get her a couple of Tim-bits and we said sure. She explained earnestly that she had to have Tim-bits because she gave up doughnuts for Lent. :lol:

For those non-Canadians out there - Tim-bits are doughnut holes. Obviously she has not figured that out.

Mom & I were extremely proud of ourselves that we did not laugh outloud.

Either that, or she's on her way to becoming a lawyer with that loophole-detecting ability!

When you are facing the prospect of cleaning the car, the car seat, her clothes and everything else in the path of barf... a doughnut is a minor sacrifice.

Had I taken the time to remove the doughnut, I wouldn't have made it in time.

My son spent the afternoon at my dad's house, playing in his garden and looking under bricks for bugs. My dad is a huge cactus fanatic, and he keeps them in pots in the yard. My son was playing in front of one, found a bug, and turned around to go find my dad. Unfortunately, he forgot there was a cactus right behind him, and he bumped into it and fell right on top of it. I wasn't there, but my dad said he took it like a champ and didn't cry, even while my dad removed the thorns that became embedded in his stomach and his leg. Ouch!

Ok, I don't have little ones anymore. In fact, my 14 year old son is 6ft tall and will probably be over that in a week.
Anyway, he's a HUGE computer nerd. I have bragged about him and his talents many times and shown his artwork probably enough to gag chatters for days. That being said.....
He has outdone himself in the humor dept. In Myspace, he built a page for 'Bob the Stick'. It's his little experiment to see how many people would sign in as a new 'friend'. In less than 48 hours, he's gotten 109 new friends. :lol:
Take a look: http://myspace.com/asticknamedbob If you have an account there, you can check out his 'girlfriend' and his 'self-photo'. He showed me this and I choked from laughing so hard.

I can't wait to get home so I can check this out! (Can't access myspace from work.)

My son defeated the airport security system.

Tigger is "three AND A HALF", as he will tell you emphatically. We flew out of Newark International about a week ago, and they had one of those high-tech metal-and-explosives-and-who-knows-what-else detectors. (EDIT: it's an IONSCAN® SENTINEL II:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v3...Sentinel_2.jpg
)

Anyway, Tigger steps into the detector as requested, and it starts humming and blowing air across him. He freaks, and runs out of it and back to Mom. (They really should allow small kids to go through with a parent.)

It turns out that the machine doesn't like people exiting the detector before the cycle is finished. It starts beeping, and the TSA people can't figure out how to reset it, so after a couple of minutes, they give up and send everyone through the normal metal detector.

Fortunately, it was 6 am on a Sunday morning, so there were only a couple of people behind us in line.

That's kinda how our mom got us potty trained... special panties. We got to pick them out, they could be whatever we wanted (we picked the laciest things in the store), and when we learned to use the potty, we could wear them. Made it a treat. =)

ROFL

I'll have to remember that one for someday. =)

I remember when my nephews discovered the joy of splashing in the bathtub. Their mom and I wound up soaked!

Best signature EVER!

Reminds me of training my nephews to raise their arms when they wanted to be picked up. I'd put my hands down in the "going to pick you up" motion, hold them out for a few moments, then pick them up. They got to the point of putting their arms up when I put my hands down. Like sign language for babies. =)

Well, he's up to 194 friends as of now, but his girlfriend (who is 75 years older than him, and doesn't have a name), only has 4, so I requested both of them. =)

So 4 weeks ago I got CJ (my 10 y.o.) involved in shooting .22 target rifles. These aren't your typical run of the mill .22, these are single shot, bolt action, professional grade, Anschutz rifles. He's shooting prone, from 50 feet (about 16-17 meters for those of you from Canuckistan) with open sights (which means no scope). to give you an idea of the size of these targets they are roughly 1-1/2 in diameter (38.1 mm, again for the Canuckistani's). You can't even see where your hitting till you pull your target. The two center targets don't get scored, you have three practice shots to take at the center two targets.

http://myweb.cableone.net/msjcichon/cjtarget.jpg

Tigger's new favorite song is "Love Shack" by the B-52s. Of course, he adapts the lyrics to fit his understanding of the world, "so hurry-up, and bring your juice box money"!

There is something truly magical about this thread. I'm not a father yet, but I've shared many similar moments with my younger cousins. Keep this up, guys! I love seeing the experience of kids getting more and more in touch with life. :)

My daughter just came home from school (8th grade) and announced that (it must be a mistake, Mom!), she scored 10th in the school on the state math proficiency tests. She HATES math. Her score, 269 out of 285. So I asked her brother, who is in the Math Olympiad and came in second for that, how'd he'd do? 271:thumbsup: Guess he came in 8th or 9th :D
I'm in shock!!

Ethan learned how to sit up!!! Overnight! Last Thursday he couldn't sit up, and Friday he could!

I'm so proud! :D

:D :D :D this is a great thread!

Being that I don't have kids, I'll share a little story about myself when I was one. My parents and grandparents tell me about myself occasionally. My favorite: When I was 5 years old and helped with grocery shopping, and if by chance they happened to walk by firetrucks... I used to say "Firefucks!" and pointed at them in excitement... because at the time I didn't know how to pronounce the 'tr'. Needless to say, that usually embarrassed whoever was pushing the cart along. Yeah, go me. :D

This morning, while we were making breakfast, Tigger (now, almost 4) corrected my grammar. :thumbsup:

"Tigger, can I have some of your cereal?"
"Yes, Dad, you may."

My son (now 20mo) likes to press his forehead against the glass section of our screen door, and then slide it down as low as he can go.

Sometime his head slides along nicely. Other times it bounces along with a staccatto "Bap, Bap, Bap, Bap..." all the way down. When this happen he lets out the most infectious belly laugh.

It's even funnier from the opposite side where you can see his forehead and nose smushed up against the glass.

Boy we have some great kids out there. And some of these made me laugh so hard I had to sit back before I could continue. I have plenty of funny moments, like when my 14 year old daughter, who was 5 at the time, saw this rather 'overweight' woman in line at the grocery store in front of us who started to back up a bit. My daughter's comment?
"Look out mommy! Her backup beepers not working"

(I used to drive a utility truck)

Talk about EMBARASING because the woman heard her, and we would have all died if looks could kill!

But to the bragging, advance up to last school year(8th grade) and Similar to the earlier post, Her FCAT scores came back, and she scored HIGHER than 80% of high school JUNIORS. Talk about a proud papa!

My son is working on another Flash: daniel's latest Make sure your speakers are turned up and note the synchronization of the music to the animation.
His work astounds me.(He's 14)

I don't have kids, but I work in child care. We've got this ADORABLE 1 to 1 1/2 year old boy named JJ, and the last time I saw him he didn't know all his colors, he just called everything "BLUUUU" and "YALLOW." So cute! So now, HE KNOWS HIS COLORS! I thought that was the greatest thing. According to his mom he's all kinds of excited about it too, pointing out the colors of EVERYTHING! He's the greatest kid :)

Oh Lord, how funny kids are! Not a parent also, but when my little nephew was recently teething - a spitty, snotty, snarley mess - his whole household was disrupted. My brother and his wife knew they had to do something when my three-year old niece, the offending tyke's older sister, came up to them and said, "Daddy, we shouldda' got a better baby from the hospital". :)

Well you know they say to watch what you say around your kids because they are like parrots and will repeat whatever you say.

Well my wife, myself and my 3 year old son were at a friends house for a get together with several other friends and their kids. The kids were playing in the family room together and the parents were in the kitchen/dining area talking.

All of a sudden my friend's 3 year old son knocks my son down for no reason. I didn't want to step in just to see what my sons reaction would be. To my horror he stands up looks right at me and says..."That fuckin kid hit me!"

Everybody laughed but I was so disappointed in myself for talking that way in front of him. I know he'll eventually learn all these words but I don't want him learning them from me.

By the way, the only time I cuss is usually in the car. I'm not a violent person, but I do have road rage that presents itself with me cussing up a storm.

Funny moment of the week from working in the after school program:

This 6 yo kid, TJ, is bouncing a ball off of the wall in the gym. Ball bounces up and whacks him in his crotch. TJ turns around, grabs his crotch, and says "MY WEINER! MY WEINER HURTS!"

I swear it took all my self control not to burst out laughing :)

I don't have kids yet, but at Macdonald's today I saw this cute kid moment that is priceless..
I heard him giving out little screams around the corner, and was wondering what was going on, so I turned around and this 3 or 4 year old cute boy was running towards the batroom, holding his rear end with one hand and screaming, his mom running behind.
It was so cute, I couldn't help chuckling.

The other day driving home with my daughter (who is seven) after picking her up from after-school care she asked if, when I went to school, it was in one of those one-room schoolhouses. And I laughed and said no, that I went to a school very much like hers. Then she was quiet for a few seconds and asked if we used paper when I went to school and I laughed again and said "of course, what else would we use?" And she said, "little chalkboards." And I laughed and laughed and said, "honey, I didn't go to school that long ago...that was in the old, old days." And then she said, "so you just went to school in the old days?" I laughed the rest of the way home...or maybe you just had to be there. Hope this makes sense the way I wrote it. :)

Mixedmedia, you are obviously Laura Ingles in her mind.....

when I was very young (still in diapers and just learning to talk), my parents were in a restaurant with me. They'd been going through the whole, "who am i? "mama!" and so on to get me to say mama and daddy. My mom reached down and tugged on a sock, saying, "what's this?" and i said, very happily, "shit."

Apparently my mom was at a loss for a moment, and my dad thought it was hilarious. He kept leaning over and happily encouraging me, "what is this??" and again and again i'd repeat "shit. shit! shit!" as he tugged on my foot. Apparently there was a lot of nearby chuckling from other patrons.

Another time, maybe a year older, my mom honked the car horn at someone for cutting her off in traffic, and I apparently reacted immediately to the horn, blurting out, "asshole!" I don't think she cursed in traffic again until I was in high school. lol

Reminds me of that baby in Meet the Fockers.

Two reactions to Valentine's Day, by my 4 year old son:

1. "Cupid is bad. He carries a bow and arrow and he shoots people."

2. "I'm confused - isn't Cupid one of Santa's reindeers?"

My daughter is going on 3 and has picked up on a lot of shit that we didn't fully realize until she started saying certain things.

Whenever she hears a horn, she tends to blurt out "Fucking bitch!". Apparently my wife has a little road rage problem.

Also, she tends to watch the original Star Wars trilogy before going to bed. The other night it was at the part in Empire where Leia calls Han a "stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf herder", and naturally my daughter screamed "nerf herder" as loud as she could. Of course, my wife and I laughed so hard we almost cried. She is gonna have her pick of the nerds when she gets older. :)

My son always calls me Dad or Daddy, but now when he makes his stuffed animals talk to me, they use my real first name.

My oldest, Lily, just turned 5. When she was about a year old my husbands parents stayed with us for christmas. I was making cookies.. or pie.. either way I was baking, and i heard the doorbell ring, so I picked up Lily from her high chair and went to the door. I opened it and there was my mother in law. So I smiled and pointed to her, looked down at Lily and said, WHO'S THAT LILY?! With a big smile waiting for her to say Gramma! Like she does with my mother.. Nope. She Points to my mother and law, Says, "Bitch!" And starts giggling. My father in law dropped the suitcases and nearly fell on the side walk he was laughing so hard.

My other daughter Ava is quite the character. She used to crawl around the floor chasing after spiders yelling "CUTE COME BACK! CUTE!!!" lmao. I Hope when she gets older she still thinks they are cute.. I hate spiders!

Or another time she would ahve been roughly two.. She's an escape artist, and one morning I was walking by her bedroom and noticed she was again, out of her crib lying on the floor. I stood at the doorway for a second smiling to myself, when she lifted her head up, eyes wider than the grand canyon, and in a panic said, " I"M DEAD!!! *takes deep breath* NOPE! I'M ON THE FLOOR!"

I Fell over laughing. I still have no idea how she comprehended being "dead" but i guess waking up on the floor triggered being dead.

:lol: That's hilarious!!!!!

My 19-month old son is learning to count (so far we know 1, 2, 3). So we're sitting on the couch reading a book, and he points to a picture and says, "Eyes, two!" We went on to count other things in the book, then I took him upstairs for a diaper change.

As I'm changing him he's blabbing away, in a very good mood. I wipe him and he immediately grabs his penis and yells, very loudly, "ONE PENIS!!!!"

That's my boy.

Tigger is now a big fan of Spoonerisms. Generally, that's OK. However, we sometimes let him have junky cereal as a snack. His favorite is Corn Pops.

(pause for effect)

The best part when he asked for Porn Cops was the look on my wife's face -- "Um, how do we handle this one?!" while trying not to laugh. I went for the easiest out -- pretending to have misheard -- and asked if he wanted pork chops.

My wife told me a funny story yesterday and I thought of this thread. My eldest son is almost 4yo. My wife was picking him up from pre-school and he was doing the usual 4yo thing (jumping climbing etc.).

She says to him to "Be Careful" and he replies with a straight face "Careful is my middle name".

He comes out with the funniest things at times :)