Love in the workplace? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

neddy65 · 01-21-2004, 02:08 PM

I am not involved in any sort of relationship at my place of work, but there are several office romances, in various stages, going on there.
How do you feel about these relationships and why?( of course I don't mean the ones at my workplace but these types of relationships in general)

Cynthetiq · 01-21-2004, 02:17 PM

don't fish off the company pier.

don't shit where you eat.

don't pick flowers from the company fields.

that said, I met my wife at the office, we didn't date until after she stopped working here and then when we were dating she started working here again. So long as the company is large enough and you don't have to spend your whole day together also...

but be ready for people to talk about your relationships inside the office.

also if it's a manager/subordinate relationship it's very frowned upon, and can lead to possible sexual harassment charges if not handled well from the get go. I have a friend who had someone working for him, and all things office related had to have a third party witness to make sure there was no favoritism. Now they've moved on and it's the other way around where she's his manager...

moonstrucksoul · 01-21-2004, 02:23 PM

i dated a woman from my work once and when we broke up it made an awkward relationship, but alas she moved on to a better job shortly after.

neddy65 · 01-21-2004, 02:23 PM

It just seems that when the relationships are in bloom very little in the way of work gets done and although I have no personal stake in any of this I can't stand the lunchroom gossip and inuendo.

Rodney · 01-21-2004, 03:33 PM

There are a lot of potential problems, and it's better not to. That said, it's also natural be to attracted to someone at the workplace. For a lot of people, it's the only place where they're likely to meet a lot of other people and get to know them well.

I'd say that if the company is fairly large and the two people work in different departments and don't have to see each other all day, employee dating is probably pretty safe. I used to contract in the operations division at Sun Micro, and there was this one senior design architect who'd been married three times and was working on a fourth. _ALL_ his ex-wives and his fiancee had been, and still were, employees of Sun, some in his division. But it was a big outfit and they didn't work directly with him. So it worked out.

But romance inside your own department, or in a small business, there's a real possibility for trouble especially in the aftermath of a breakup. And of course if one party is the manager and starts showing favoritism to the other party, it just gets ugly for everybody.

*Nikki* · 01-21-2004, 05:38 PM

I also dated a coworker once and it did not work out. After that it was almost impossible to work with him and remain professional. Much less speak to him!! It was horrible, I don't recommend it at all.

ratbastid · 01-21-2004, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cynthetiq
don't fish off the company pier.

don't shit where you eat.

don't pick flowers from the company fields.

Aaaand my favorite:

Don't dip your pen in the company ink.

Seriously. Don't. It's a bad idea.

Exceptions include the fast food and telemarketing industries, or if she's really, really hot.

fhqwhgads · 01-21-2004, 06:27 PM

When you're just starting out in the relationship, seeing her will be the highlight of going to work...

Now imagine that relationship turns sour, and consider the reverse to be true as well...

johnnymysto · 01-22-2004, 06:09 AM

Same as above. At my last job a girl and guy got together and it was good for a while, but it turned south and she was miserable. Never go beyond flirtation at work.

Bookman · 01-22-2004, 08:11 AM

I agree 110% with the "DONT DO IT" replies...it is the smartest thing to do. I am proud to claim that I am "CHEAT-FREE" and I dont plan on looking outside my relationship.

But on the Fantasy note....WOW would it be so exciting to get involved where you shouldnt...work being on the extreme side of the shouldnt.

sipsake · 01-22-2004, 08:23 AM

There's a lot of sense to the "don't do it" argument. Workplace breakups can be nasty. Supervisor/employee relationships are usually forbidden by most companies as severe moral and legal issues can result.

That being said, I met my wife at work. We kept the relationship quiet for a while, but it became pointless to try and hide it. After that, it became a bit of a joke around her department. She is in development and I'm the computer guy. I used to find excuses to crawl around under her desk and fix her computer. Got to be a hassle for my wife after a while because whenever someone wanted something done with the computer they'd call her to request my attention.

All in all it's worked well for us. We work in separate buildings so don't see each other much during the day.

Bookman · 01-22-2004, 09:03 AM

When I worked for UPS this was the forbidden fruit. Enter at your own risk. VERY TEMPTING!

Cynthetiq · 01-22-2004, 09:58 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by sipsake
There's a lot of sense to the "don't do it" argument. Workplace breakups can be nasty. Supervisor/employee relationships are usually forbidden by most companies as severe moral and legal issues can result.

That being said, I met my wife at work. We kept the relationship quiet for a while, but it became pointless to try and hide it. After that, it became a bit of a joke around her department. She is in development and I'm the computer guy. I used to find excuses to crawl around under her desk and fix her computer. Got to be a hassle for my wife after a while because whenever someone wanted something done with the computer they'd call her to request my attention.

All in all it's worked well for us. We work in separate buildings so don't see each other much during the day.

yes, that's EXACTLY what happened to me... even when she left the company I still help out at her new place and with her collegues.

absorbentishe · 01-22-2004, 10:41 AM

My wife and I worked together at Kmart when we met. She was in a different department, and we only saw each other once in a while. She quit shortly after we became serious though. All the other employees always kidded us that if we got married, we'd have to have the blue light there. We didn't but you get the drift.

gilada · 01-22-2004, 12:46 PM

I met my wife at work... we didn't tell anyone except my best friend and her best friend, both of who worked with us as well. Kept it a secret, especially since she was my boss.

To move to the next level, I quit and got a better job.

Best moves of my life.

anleja · 01-22-2004, 09:41 PM

I met a girlfriend at my restaurant job a while ago. I bussed tables and she was a cashier. Everyone knew, but big deal, its not like we were business executives or anything.

At it was awesome getting a blowjob in the breakroom, with my head craned around the corner to look out for oncoming co-workers.

01-21-2004, 02:08 PM	#1 (permalink)
neddy65 Loves green eggs and ham Location: I'm just sittin' here watching the world go round and round	Love in the workplace? I am not involved in any sort of relationship at my place of work, but there are several office romances, in various stages, going on there. How do you feel about these relationships and why?( of course I don't mean the ones at my workplace but these types of relationships in general) __________________ If you're travelling at the speed of light, and you turn the headlights on, do they do anything? My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die! Drink Dickens' Hard Cider because nothing makes a girl smile like a Hard DIckens' Cider!

01-21-2004, 02:17 PM	#2 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	don't fish off the company pier. don't shit where you eat. don't pick flowers from the company fields. that said, I met my wife at the office, we didn't date until after she stopped working here and then when we were dating she started working here again. So long as the company is large enough and you don't have to spend your whole day together also... but be ready for people to talk about your relationships inside the office. also if it's a manager/subordinate relationship it's very frowned upon, and can lead to possible sexual harassment charges if not handled well from the get go. I have a friend who had someone working for him, and all things office related had to have a third party witness to make sure there was no favoritism. Now they've moved on and it's the other way around where she's his manager... __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

01-21-2004, 02:23 PM	#3 (permalink)
moonstrucksoul hovering in the distance Location: the land of milk and honey	i dated a woman from my work once and when we broke up it made an awkward relationship, but alas she moved on to a better job shortly after. __________________ no signature required

01-21-2004, 02:23 PM	#4 (permalink)
neddy65 Loves green eggs and ham Location: I'm just sittin' here watching the world go round and round	It just seems that when the relationships are in bloom very little in the way of work gets done and although I have no personal stake in any of this I can't stand the lunchroom gossip and inuendo. __________________ If you're travelling at the speed of light, and you turn the headlights on, do they do anything? My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die! Drink Dickens' Hard Cider because nothing makes a girl smile like a Hard DIckens' Cider!

01-21-2004, 03:33 PM	#5 (permalink)
Rodney Observant Ruminant Location: Rich Wannabe Hippie Town	There are a lot of potential problems, and it's better not to. That said, it's also natural be to attracted to someone at the workplace. For a lot of people, it's the only place where they're likely to meet a lot of other people and get to know them well. I'd say that if the company is fairly large and the two people work in different departments and don't have to see each other all day, employee dating is probably pretty safe. I used to contract in the operations division at Sun Micro, and there was this one senior design architect who'd been married three times and was working on a fourth. _ALL_ his ex-wives and his fiancee had been, and still were, employees of Sun, some in his division. But it was a big outfit and they didn't work directly with him. So it worked out. But romance inside your own department, or in a small business, there's a real possibility for trouble especially in the aftermath of a breakup. And of course if one party is the manager and starts showing favoritism to the other party, it just gets ugly for everybody. Last edited by Rodney; 01-21-2004 at 03:38 PM..

01-21-2004, 05:38 PM	#6 (permalink)
Nikki ~~~~~~~ Location: Charleston, SC	I also dated a coworker once and it did not work out. After that it was almost impossible to work with him and remain professional. Much less speak to him!! It was horrible, I don't recommend it at all.

01-21-2004, 06:27 PM	#8 (permalink)
fhqwhgads Junkie	When you're just starting out in the relationship, seeing her will be the highlight of going to work... Now imagine that relationship turns sour, and consider the reverse to be true as well...

01-22-2004, 06:09 AM	#9 (permalink)
johnnymysto Overreactor Location: South Ca'lina	Same as above. At my last job a girl and guy got together and it was good for a while, but it turned south and she was miserable. Never go beyond flirtation at work. __________________ "I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request." - Capt. Barbossa

01-22-2004, 08:11 AM	#10 (permalink)
Bookman Insane	I agree 110% with the "DONT DO IT" replies...it is the smartest thing to do. I am proud to claim that I am "CHEAT-FREE" and I dont plan on looking outside my relationship. But on the Fantasy note....WOW would it be so exciting to get involved where you shouldnt...work being on the extreme side of the shouldnt.

01-22-2004, 08:23 AM	#11 (permalink)
sipsake Psycho Location: Memphis	There's a lot of sense to the "don't do it" argument. Workplace breakups can be nasty. Supervisor/employee relationships are usually forbidden by most companies as severe moral and legal issues can result. That being said, I met my wife at work. We kept the relationship quiet for a while, but it became pointless to try and hide it. After that, it became a bit of a joke around her department. She is in development and I'm the computer guy. I used to find excuses to crawl around under her desk and fix her computer. Got to be a hassle for my wife after a while because whenever someone wanted something done with the computer they'd call her to request my attention. All in all it's worked well for us. We work in separate buildings so don't see each other much during the day. __________________ When life hands you a lemon, say "Oh yeah, I like lemons. What else you got?" Henry Rollins

01-22-2004, 09:03 AM	#12 (permalink)
Bookman Insane	When I worked for UPS this was the forbidden fruit. Enter at your own risk. VERY TEMPTING!

01-22-2004, 10:41 AM	#14 (permalink)
absorbentishe Boy am I horny today Location: T O L E D O, Toledo!!	My wife and I worked together at Kmart when we met. She was in a different department, and we only saw each other once in a while. She quit shortly after we became serious though. All the other employees always kidded us that if we got married, we'd have to have the blue light there. We didn't but you get the drift.

01-22-2004, 12:46 PM	#15 (permalink)
gilada Psycho Location: Dallas, Tx	I met my wife at work... we didn't tell anyone except my best friend and her best friend, both of who worked with us as well. Kept it a secret, especially since she was my boss. To move to the next level, I quit and got a better job. Best moves of my life. __________________ Hey, this isn't rocket surgery. See my futurephone pics at: http://gilada.textamerica.com See my DVD's at: http://www.dvdprofiler.com/mycollection.asp?alias=gilada

01-22-2004, 09:41 PM	#16 (permalink)
anleja disconnected Location: ignoreland	I met a girlfriend at my restaurant job a while ago. I bussed tables and she was a cashier. Everyone knew, but big deal, its not like we were business executives or anything. At it was awesome getting a blowjob in the breakroom, with my head craned around the corner to look out for oncoming co-workers.