Corneo

Well, I share an apartment with 4 girls. One of those girls have the most annoying high pitch laugh I ever heard. She watches TV 11pm and laughs loud as hell. She is inconsderate of others when it comes to trash. We worked out a deal for whoever to take out the trash one week. She refuses to take her trash out the last day of her week and leaves the next person to do it for her, ie. me. It has gone beyound talking to one another. The lines have been drawn and its war now. Anyone wanna give me ideas to maker her life like hell before my lease breaks?

anti fishstick

get to know her but use it to your advantage.
she into pop music? blast death metal
can't live without her cell phone? hide it
those are just examples but be creative :-D

i had a roommate that was the complete opposite of me. total born again christian and she would constantly listen to her christian music... or country. o_O bugged the hell out of me. her side of the room vs. my side were very distinct. she had a big bible poster on our door. i thought about buying a radiohead poster where thom is flipping off the camera and putting it directly across from the bible poster. because.. i like radiohead and it was the only other place to place a poster. bwahahahah.

i didn't though.

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cj2112

I once threw a cat in the shower w/ my roomate, it was payback for him setting my newspaper on fire...while i was reading it.
Those were good times

Corneo

Well she is complete addicted to talking online to her folks. I think I should mess with her computer.

taliendo

You have to go entirely juvenile in cases like this. Put her hand in a bowl of hot water while she's sleeping. Let her wake up covered in shaving cream.

Nothing too destructive, or things that will cause permanent physical/emotional damage. Other than that, be creative. . .happy hunting!

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empu

Don't escalate. Call her out on the problems she's causing. If you let her get away with it that's on you as much as her.

numist

the cat is hilarious...

I dont have any wars, but my friend and I are pranksters, I went to his place once to use his comp, and he has been up for 2 days straight, so when he went to bed, I duct taped him to his bed (covers were over his head at the time), set his alarm, and duct taped the clock to the wall, out of his reach.

Mael

a couple years ago, i had a big problem with my roommate/best friend. i've got pics taht i took with my webcam of the garbage that he wouldn't take out, it was piled over 1 foot higher than it was, plus with shit on the side. since there was just two of us, there was stuff i could do that wouldn't affect any one else. so becareful not to piss the other roommates off, if you can, get them in on it.

if i were you, after you and your roommates have showered, put some soup boulion (sp?) cubes, or some life savers, in the shower head. so now when the bad roomie showers, the water will dissolve the soup cube or life saver, and she'll have a hard time washing/rinsing them off. it'll be a sticky/smelly day for her.

rockzilla

You're an evil genius.

See if you can get the other roommates in on something, and maybe just all start leaving your trash in her room or something. If her name's not on the lease, tell her she has 1 week to shape up or all her stuff will be on the sidewalk.

World's King

My old roommate had blonde hair and blue eyes. He was a big meat head kinda guy. When we got in a fight (the last one we had before I left) I called him the "poster child for the Aryan race." He knocked me out... then I moved out.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

VitaminH

http://barneystyles.tripod.com/thing.../50roomate.htm


could be helpful methinks

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WarWagon

Things done to date in the past 2 months alone:

400lbs log in the bed.
Lemon juice in contact solution.
Toothbrush, stapler, pen drive in buttcrack.
Several small magnets placed inside monitor.
Urine coffee.
Wallet in microwave.
Highs and lows reversed on speakers.
Pummeled with wads of wet toilet paper while having sex.
Backpack thrown out a 23 story window.
Cell phone put into rotary vending machine (have to pay to get it out)
Yokozuna'd in sleep by other roomate wearing dirty female thong of origins unknown.

ickma

Everything is funny but that one. As a contact wearer I know that even a small amount of salt from the solution drying up will almost send you into a seizure. Have some pity please.

MSD

Freeze a can of shaving cream in a Ziploc bag (freezer at 0°F for 36 hours, or liquid nitrogen from a school science lab will do it,) carefully peel the split can off of the block of shaving cream, put this block in a condom, tie off the end, put it in one of her drawers at night. For added effect, leave the drawer open 8 inches and put the block in the back so that the clothes are pushed out as it defrosts. This will also work if placed in the bottom of her garbage can (if she has a personal one.) Either way, in the morning, a watermelon-sized latex baloon filled with shaving cream will be almost impossible to remove from the drawer or can without bursting, all of the contents of the drawer of trash can will be on the floor, and there will be a mess to clean up when the condom/balloon inevitably ruptures before she gets it to the bathtub or outside, which are the only two places it can go without causing a mess.



A little-known fact about the human nervous system:

1: If a slippery substance, such as Vaseline, is placed between the toes during sleep, the brain will keep moving those toes during sleep until teh substance rubs off. Vaseline can not be removed without large amounts of soap and water, and certainly not by rubbing the coated surfaces together.
2: If the brain spends the entire time asleep moving slippery toes, it will not perform any normal sleep functions that lead to a well-rested feeling. Result: the person might as well have been awake.

Oopsfix

whats aryan?

JoenOcoee

I'm a fan of the 'Upper-Decker'
That's when you take a shit in the tank of the toilet instead of the bowl. I also recomend eating a large array of nuts, corn, and other fibre products.

But that might be too extreme especially if you share a bathroom. Why not put the garbage she leaves in her bed? or at least her room.

Lastly, If you are REALLY REALLY pissed at her, next time she leaves and hasn't done her chores, go immediately to a pay phone and call 911. Say that you are her and someone just stole your car. You should know all of the info on her and you can even tell the police what the driver was wearing. The police will pull her over and get her out of the car at gunpoint. FYI It just confuses the cops even more when she says this is all just some big mistake. It also helps when 911 is trying to make you stay on the line to tell them you need to call your parents and you will call right back, otherwise those pesky cops just want you to hang on the line forever.

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Remember kiddies, panic attacks can be fatal

JStrider

aryan race was hitlers idea of a "perfect race"...


as for things to piss off the roommate...
my friend did this last weekend...
http://www.rohan.sdsu.edu/~currin/revenge.htm
took the guy like an hour to get out and hi missed his first class of the day...

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~Clatto Verata Nicto

Anomaly_

Am I only the one who thinks all these ideas are a tremendous waste of energy?

Corneo

Some of these ideas are great, I think I will have to do something drastic to her though. I think I will put crickets in her room the week before finals. Thos damn things can last for a very long time without food.

yellowgowild

I've heard that standing in your roomates doorway with a large erection and an axe in your hand while they sleep is a really good way to get them to move out faster. Make sure your breathe heavily too.

Mael

no no no no no... not a good idea... once they're loose, there's no way to keep them in her room...

some piss in her hair care products might be fun too, but she'd probably never realize it.

fuck her boyfriend. nothing says stop being a bitch like that. and do it in her bed, no less.

neddy65

OMG you guys are cruel!!

how about rubbing alcohol in the grout lines of the bathroom floor, wait till she goes in and toss in a match--- pretty blue flames for a couple seconds.

soak the carpet in her room at the start of a long weekend and toss around some grass seed---she'll have a nice lawn started by the time she comes home.

but seriously you guys are so cruel!

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My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die!

Drink Dickens' Hard Cider because nothing makes a girl smile like a Hard DIckens' Cider!

Corneo

She has been asking for it. She trys to make me do all the stuff and then crys that she is being taken advantage of by me. Haha I got some measure of revenge today, she had a really important phone call to make with her boss, she came into my room and stole my cordless phone. I unplugged the phone every time she uses it. Yet she stills comes and steals it from me.

World's King

Nazis... to a point.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

wry1

Want to piss-off your roommate?

Simple....PISS ON YOUR ROOMMATE!!!

Just a thought.

Or: Go to a pool supply store, buy a half-gallon (or gallon, if you're feeling particularly vengeful) of Muriatic acid. Get a large mixing bowl and pour equal parts Muriatic Acid and Bleach into the bowl...then get the hell out of there!!!! When the two combine, it creates a dense fog which smells awful! The smell will linger for weeks and she won't know what caused it - as the two dissipate if mixed in equal portions.

When you know she's gonna' be the only one using the bathroom, find some excuse and go Saran-wrap the toilet bowl! That'll make one hell of a mess....

Report her credit cards as stolen. All you need is the name of the bank which issued them, and then call the toll-free directory (if you're in the U.S., it's 800-555-1212) and get the number for their Customer Service division. Tell them you're her, and that your wallet was stolen. No, you don't have your account number with you, and no, you don't remember your Social Security number or anything else...you're too shaken up by the mugging. To be on the safe side, they'll close her accounts, and it'll be maddening when she tries to use one and it comes up Hold: Stolen Card at the store!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Call the IRS from a pay phone and tell them that she's been cheating on her taxes for the past 3 years....refuse to give your name, as you wish to remain anonymous - they'll audit her. It takes time, but it's probably the most vicious of the ideas I gave you....since they'll also keep an eye on her future returns for the next 5 years!

BonesCPA

I think that was a Chasing Amy reference: "What's a Nubian?" (Or I just watch too many movies.)

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Back into hibernation.

cartmen34

yes. just unplug her modem/broadband line.

a.k.a - 50 things an insane person does to get commited.

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"The problem with quick and dirty, as some people have said, is that the dirty remains long after the quick has been forgotten" - Steve McConnell

seethreepo

take a screeen capture of her pc's desktop ie with all the icons and such , then set that image as the wallpaper.

it will take her quite a while to figure it out.

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rub it and see.

ratbastid

I had to google that word.

Yokozuna: Sumo Wrestling grand champion.

Thanks. The picture just got so much more vivid for me.

dragon2fire

a yokozuna is when your put your ass on a persons face and yell yokozuna

WarWagon

Bingo, right on the money. How's THAT for vivid

obelix

these are all great ideas, but i like the shaving cream in the condom idea best. i'd say that's worth a shot at work in one of the boss's drawers. ive always like the packing foam in the cubicle idea too, although it is just way too much effort to get all that crap together.

<3 this thread

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no substance

asudevil83

for some reason that just made me laugh my ass off for a few minutes. i might have to try that on someone just for kicks, and if it works, my god.....it'll be my new most favorite practical joke.

having someone wake up dead tired, with slippy stuff between their toes has to be the most confusing situation to be in. it must be done BY ME!!!

orange monkeyee

Ok, these jokes are amusing. Ok, first, kidnap her. Take her far away, then trash her apartment room, then unkidnap her and leave her at her trashed out apartment. keep her locked in her room and play loud music .Then feed her pancakes under the door for the next week and acting disgruntled. then open her room door and throw macaroni and cheese at her, while its still hot.

oberon

Man, I'm SO voting for the "Fuck her boyfriend in her bed" cruel joke.

Oh, oh, and post it to the TFP.

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arael

Originally posted by MrSelfDestruct
[B
A little-known fact about the human nervous system:

1: If a slippery substance, such as Vaseline, is placed between the toes during sleep, the brain will keep moving those toes during sleep until teh substance rubs off. Vaseline can not be removed without large amounts of soap and water, and certainly not by rubbing the coated surfaces together.
2: If the brain spends the entire time asleep moving slippery toes, it will not perform any normal sleep functions that lead to a well-rested feeling. Result: the person might as well have been awake. [/B]


omg... that's awsome.. i gotta do that to someone... there must be some people in the dorm that i don't like .. the problem is sneaking in when they are asleep and doing it wihtout wakinng them

Stare At The Sun

*shrugs* I would just call her a fucking bitch, and tell her to do her shit, otherwise, things are gunna get nasty in the house.

Death metal=good idea. Cannibal corpse and Killswitch engage make for 2 good bands to start with. Either that, or just put all the trash in her bed, and tell her to deal..

Hard8s

Just piss in her Corn Flakes!!!

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punx1325

I've done the duct tape the door shut to my roommate which I completely hate. The next idea is to get a 10 gallon trash can and once I move out for christmas fill it with water and lean it against the closed door. Bang on the door really loud, he opens the door and splash!

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If something seems too good to be true, then it probably is....

ReggErving

I lived with two other guys and one one very annoying to ther guy and I. We used to receive porn cataloges for DVD and VHS every month, so what we did was take all of these ads and cataloges and put them under his bed until the night came when we had a house full of people. We directed this household of people to his room and lifted his mattress where we stashed the shit and he was the butt of the joke.

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