What came first? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

neddy65 · 11-21-2003, 03:34 PM

Ever wonder what came first, the asshole or the sweet girl he's dating? I think we can turn the question around too and ask what came first, the bitch on wheels or the nice guy she dates?
can anyone enlighten me on the science of such unions, cause I don't get it at all.

Rodney · 11-21-2003, 04:08 PM

Well, there are a whole lot of people in this world who believe that love means doing what the other person wants, without regard to self. Some of them are built that way, some of them were warped into that mold by family and friends or even culture. "If you love me, you'll....." When somebody tries that on you, run -- or break them of it. But some people don't know to do that. They feel that it's up to them to "prove' their love, and that by staying with this other person, they'll help them eventually get better.
And don't you know that real assholes and users of both sexes are real good at zeroing in on people like this, and pushing all the buttons?

That's the short version, and maybe not the only reason. But much of the time, this is the heart of the good guy/bad girl - bad guy/good girl dynamic.

dragon2fire · 11-21-2003, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Rodney
Well, there are a whole lot of people in this world who believe that love means doing what the other person wants, without regard to self. Some of them are built that way, some of them were warped into that mold by family and friends or even culture. "If you love me, you'll....." When somebody tries that on you, run -- or break them of it. But some people don't know to do that. They feel that it's up to them to "prove' their love, and that by staying with this other person, they'll help them eventually get better.
And don't you know that real assholes and users of both sexes are real good at zeroing in on people like this, and pushing all the buttons?

That's the short version, and maybe not the only reason. But much of the time, this is the heart of the good guy/bad girl - bad guy/good girl dynamic.

well said

rockzilla · 11-21-2003, 05:28 PM

Rodney's got it right.
A good guy/girl may stay with a partner out of fear of being alone, maybe they think that thier love will change thier evil partner's heart, maybe the bad guy/girl gives them just enough love and affection at just the right times to put off a breakup.

Some people are good at using others, and some just always end up getting used. (That's almost a Eurythmics lyric)

Mephisto2 · 11-21-2003, 06:07 PM

And quite often it's the perception of the "jealous" or "resentful" third party.

"Gee, I could treat him/her much better than that..."

Mr Mephisto

rogue49 · 11-21-2003, 08:32 PM

You're born good.

You learn bad, or at least it's not taught out of you.

neddy65 · 11-23-2003, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mr Mephisto
And quite often it's the perception of the "jealous" or "resentful" third party.

"Gee, I could treat him/her much better than that..."

Mr Mephisto

Nothing like that Mr Mephisto. I just observe things and this thread adressed an obvious generallization on my part but the question, i think, was valid. The situation exists in couples I don't know and have no stake in. Couples should treat each other well all the time. Maybe it's just me, I dunno.

yournamehere · 11-23-2003, 09:39 AM

As long as there are prey, there will always be predators.

skysooner · 11-24-2003, 08:24 AM

It has been said before, but you can't have a very successful relationship until you are comfortable with yourself first alone. Many times we define ourselves through our relationships. This is a bad way to be as if the relationship should fail then it could only be because of you

The key to a good relationship is to know who you are and your relationship is an extension of that (and not the foundation). This does not mean that the removal of the relationship through outside means (i.e. death) wouldn't rock you, but the core of you will still be there. Some people are never ready for this. It took me about 6 years into our marriage before I figured this out. A close friend of ours died this weekend (he was 77 and had a heart attack). He was married to a woman who was 52, and she knew this was going to happen eventually. She regretted not saying, "I love you" the last time before he died (it was a sudden death). My wife said to me that isn't it good to know that even if we died that the other would have no regrets about having said I love you, and I had to think that she was completely correct. We say it every day with meaning, and I would have no regrets if something took either one of us.

Sho Nuff · 11-26-2003, 08:05 AM

an asshole always cums first. the sweet girl often doesnt cum at all.

anti fishstick · 11-26-2003, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by yournamehere
As long as there are prey, there will always be predators.

pretty much said what i was thinking.
it's simple.
the submissives and dominants always pair up. this of course, all on a subconscious level. they are attracted to eachother. i should know =/ *sigh*

wilbjammin · 11-26-2003, 02:21 PM

Quote:

The submissives and dominants always pair up. this of course, all on a subconscious level.

Not always on a subconscious level. Especially with the dominating types. But, like I always say - it doesn't matter if it is conscious or unconscious. What matters is making it conscious, and then doing something about it.

11-21-2003, 03:34 PM	#1 (permalink)
neddy65 Loves green eggs and ham Location: I'm just sittin' here watching the world go round and round	What came first? Ever wonder what came first, the asshole or the sweet girl he's dating? I think we can turn the question around too and ask what came first, the bitch on wheels or the nice guy she dates? can anyone enlighten me on the science of such unions, cause I don't get it at all. __________________ If you're travelling at the speed of light, and you turn the headlights on, do they do anything? My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die! Drink Dickens' Hard Cider because nothing makes a girl smile like a Hard DIckens' Cider!

11-23-2003, 09:39 AM	#8 (permalink)
yournamehere Invisible Location: tentative, at best	As long as there are prey, there will always be predators. __________________ If you want to avoid 95% of internet spelling errors: "If your ridiculous pants are too loose, you're definitely going to lose them. Tell your two loser friends over there that they're going to lose theirs, too." It won't hurt your fashion sense, either.

11-26-2003, 08:05 AM	#10 (permalink)
Sho Nuff Addict Location: Harlem	an asshole always cums first. the sweet girl often doesnt cum at all. __________________ I know Nietzsche doesnt rhyme with peachy, but you sound like a pretentious prick when you correct me.

11-21-2003, 04:08 PM	#2 (permalink)
Rodney Observant Ruminant Location: Rich Wannabe Hippie Town	Well, there are a whole lot of people in this world who believe that love means doing what the other person wants, without regard to self. Some of them are built that way, some of them were warped into that mold by family and friends or even culture. "If you love me, you'll....." When somebody tries that on you, run -- or break them of it. But some people don't know to do that. They feel that it's up to them to "prove' their love, and that by staying with this other person, they'll help them eventually get better. And don't you know that real assholes and users of both sexes are real good at zeroing in on people like this, and pushing all the buttons? That's the short version, and maybe not the only reason. But much of the time, this is the heart of the good guy/bad girl - bad guy/good girl dynamic.

11-21-2003, 05:28 PM	#4 (permalink)
rockzilla Junkie Location: The Kitchen	Rodney's got it right. A good guy/girl may stay with a partner out of fear of being alone, maybe they think that thier love will change thier evil partner's heart, maybe the bad guy/girl gives them just enough love and affection at just the right times to put off a breakup. Some people are good at using others, and some just always end up getting used. (That's almost a Eurythmics lyric)

11-21-2003, 06:07 PM	#5 (permalink)
Mephisto2 Junkie	And quite often it's the perception of the "jealous" or "resentful" third party. "Gee, I could treat him/her much better than that..." Mr Mephisto

11-21-2003, 08:32 PM	#6 (permalink)
rogue49 Loser	You're born good. You learn bad, or at least it's not taught out of you.

11-24-2003, 08:24 AM	#9 (permalink)
skysooner Registered User Location: Oklahoma	It has been said before, but you can't have a very successful relationship until you are comfortable with yourself first alone. Many times we define ourselves through our relationships. This is a bad way to be as if the relationship should fail then it could only be because of you The key to a good relationship is to know who you are and your relationship is an extension of that (and not the foundation). This does not mean that the removal of the relationship through outside means (i.e. death) wouldn't rock you, but the core of you will still be there. Some people are never ready for this. It took me about 6 years into our marriage before I figured this out. A close friend of ours died this weekend (he was 77 and had a heart attack). He was married to a woman who was 52, and she knew this was going to happen eventually. She regretted not saying, "I love you" the last time before he died (it was a sudden death). My wife said to me that isn't it good to know that even if we died that the other would have no regrets about having said I love you, and I had to think that she was completely correct. We say it every day with meaning, and I would have no regrets if something took either one of us.