What do you do when you see parents beat their kids in public? - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

anleja · 11-01-2003, 09:35 PM

My friend works at a WalMart portrait studio, today (before he got to work, this happened with his co-worker) a 4 year old wasn't smiling good enough or something and the dad slapped the kid across the face. My friend said that if it was him taking the pictures that he would've told the guy to get the hell out of the studio. I'd like to say that I would do the same thing.

I have a stepson who is 2 and a half, if he is misbehaving we usually make him sit in his "time-out" chair, although it is getting to the point where he will stop if we say "do you want to sit in your chair?" However, sometimes the message doesn't get through to him and he gets spanked. If he won't listen, that is the next best way to get your point across. We only resort to this when he is doing something that could get himself injured.

(this thread is closest to a "BabyCenter.com" website posting than any other TFP thread I've ever seen.)

jbrooks544 · 11-02-2003, 05:48 PM

I don't think it is ever ok to beat or spank a little kid. I have a (just turned) 3 year old and a 5 year old. First, I think for the most part, very little kids do not respond to "negative reinforcement", which spanking qualifies as. No, I'm not some theoritical, P.C. idiot - I've studied graduate level "psychology of learning" at one of the top 2 psych schools in the country - but more importantly, I have just done a decent amount of research (reading good books) on how to raise kids. Real books - not pop sci. crap. I have no reason to believe that spanking is a valid method. It is pretty much illegal anyway, so why even debate or consider it. Do you want to go to jail or lose your kid? All it does is traumatize the kid. If I saw someone "beating" a kid I would consider calling the police. I would not get involved personally or say anything unless I thought the kid was actually being hurt or in danger.

Lasereth · 11-02-2003, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jesus Pimp
I think if you need to result to spanking or hitting, you don't know how to raise your kids.

There's a big difference in raising a kid bad and the kid being a little brat. People are different. People have different mindsets, and this definitely includes kids. What if you tell your kid happy birthday, and he hits you in the face as hard as he can and laughs when he's 6 years old. Or what about when the kid paints the walls, or runs out in the road? Do you think lack of parenting causes this? No, because it happens with every type of parent. There is no single method of parenting that works with every type of child.

I don't agree with beating, and I'm not sure if I agree with spanking (I don't have kids). I was spanked as a child, and I honestly took no harm from it besides the temporary sting.

The bottom line is that there isn't a single method that solves all parenting issues. If a child does something "worthy" of a spanking, that doesn't mean the parent is doing something wrong. It does sometimes, but in other cases, the child is simply confused/doesn't care/being bratty. If there was a parenting method that works for all kids, it would have been discovered by now.

-Lasereth

Coolidge · 11-02-2003, 09:14 PM

Unfortunately there's not much you can do. There's such a fine line between discipline and abuse that even courts have sided with discipline after seeing a security camera tape of a child being smacked repeatedly in the face.

All you can really do is pray

dy156 · 11-03-2003, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mr Mephisto
Beating and spanking are two different things.

I've come across a little kid out of control and thought the kid deserved a spanking, but never across someone who was beating their kid, i.e. hitting them somewhere other than their behind. Having said that, I'd rather the kid get that spanking at home, because I don't want to see it, and hopefully no one else does either.

gabshu · 11-03-2003, 02:39 PM

I was spanked plenty as a child, I absolutly deserved it. But my parents were not effective at all, they would spank me but I would still throw a big enough fit and they would get me whatever I wanted, so I dont think that just spanking a child is effective by itself.

There was one other time when my dad slapped me, I was 17 and I called his girlfriend a whore (she really was), I slapped him right back. I don't think spanking is the magic answer for kids that are being a pain in the ass, and I don't know if I'll spank my children.

Eldaire · 11-03-2003, 04:48 PM

Shouldn't get involved?! I would step in right then and there! Are you kidding? A fully developed adult essentially bullying a little kid around? The parent issue is no issue. That's the time for action.

krwlz · 11-03-2003, 07:30 PM

There is the childs personality to take into consideration. 18 here, and Im glad my parents spanked me every now and then. I deserved it. Im better for it. And after I got bigger, Ive even been slapped once or twice.

Ill admit its insulting, but when you mouth off to your anyone, much less your mother, you should expect nothing less.

la petite moi · 11-05-2003, 10:32 AM

it definitely is not right if the parents are seriously hurting the child. a quick smack on the bum should be the most a parents should use for physical discipline.

however, as a victim of abuse myself, i know exactly how you feel. i see kids in the market with their parents and i just wanna cry if i see them yelp after a tap on the rump. just the weird memories, i guess. i'm sure you know what i'm talking about.

ps: have you seen the film called 'mommy dearest'? that movie's previews made me cry.

bender · 11-07-2003, 10:57 AM

It depends on the severaty (SP) but if I see it as too much I will say somthing and if that causes a deflection of the rage form the kid to me then all is good and well, as I can take whatever they want to dish out where as a child typically can't.

11-03-2003, 02:39 PM	#46 (permalink)
gabshu Psycho Location: The capital of the free world??	I was spanked plenty as a child, I absolutly deserved it. But my parents were not effective at all, they would spank me but I would still throw a big enough fit and they would get me whatever I wanted, so I dont think that just spanking a child is effective by itself. There was one other time when my dad slapped me, I was 17 and I called his girlfriend a whore (she really was), I slapped him right back. I don't think spanking is the magic answer for kids that are being a pain in the ass, and I don't know if I'll spank my children. __________________ Go Kool Aid. OH YEAAHH http://www.retrocrush.com/archive2003/koolaid/

11-01-2003, 09:35 PM	#41 (permalink)
anleja disconnected Location: ignoreland	My friend works at a WalMart portrait studio, today (before he got to work, this happened with his co-worker) a 4 year old wasn't smiling good enough or something and the dad slapped the kid across the face. My friend said that if it was him taking the pictures that he would've told the guy to get the hell out of the studio. I'd like to say that I would do the same thing. I have a stepson who is 2 and a half, if he is misbehaving we usually make him sit in his "time-out" chair, although it is getting to the point where he will stop if we say "do you want to sit in your chair?" However, sometimes the message doesn't get through to him and he gets spanked. If he won't listen, that is the next best way to get your point across. We only resort to this when he is doing something that could get himself injured. (this thread is closest to a "BabyCenter.com" website posting than any other TFP thread I've ever seen.)

11-02-2003, 05:48 PM	#42 (permalink)
jbrooks544 Addict	I don't think it is ever ok to beat or spank a little kid. I have a (just turned) 3 year old and a 5 year old. First, I think for the most part, very little kids do not respond to "negative reinforcement", which spanking qualifies as. No, I'm not some theoritical, P.C. idiot - I've studied graduate level "psychology of learning" at one of the top 2 psych schools in the country - but more importantly, I have just done a decent amount of research (reading good books) on how to raise kids. Real books - not pop sci. crap. I have no reason to believe that spanking is a valid method. It is pretty much illegal anyway, so why even debate or consider it. Do you want to go to jail or lose your kid? All it does is traumatize the kid. If I saw someone "beating" a kid I would consider calling the police. I would not get involved personally or say anything unless I thought the kid was actually being hurt or in danger.

11-02-2003, 09:14 PM	#44 (permalink)
Coolidge Tilted	Unfortunately there's not much you can do. There's such a fine line between discipline and abuse that even courts have sided with discipline after seeing a security camera tape of a child being smacked repeatedly in the face. All you can really do is pray

11-03-2003, 04:48 PM	#47 (permalink)
Eldaire Loser Location: Davidson College, NC	Shouldn't get involved?! I would step in right then and there! Are you kidding? A fully developed adult essentially bullying a little kid around? The parent issue is no issue. That's the time for action.

11-03-2003, 07:30 PM	#48 (permalink)
krwlz Fledgling Dead Head Location: Clarkson U.	There is the childs personality to take into consideration. 18 here, and Im glad my parents spanked me every now and then. I deserved it. Im better for it. And after I got bigger, Ive even been slapped once or twice. Ill admit its insulting, but when you mouth off to your anyone, much less your mother, you should expect nothing less.

11-05-2003, 10:32 AM	#49 (permalink)
la petite moi Filling the Void. Location: California	it definitely is not right if the parents are seriously hurting the child. a quick smack on the bum should be the most a parents should use for physical discipline. however, as a victim of abuse myself, i know exactly how you feel. i see kids in the market with their parents and i just wanna cry if i see them yelp after a tap on the rump. just the weird memories, i guess. i'm sure you know what i'm talking about. ps: have you seen the film called 'mommy dearest'? that movie's previews made me cry.

11-07-2003, 10:57 AM	#50 (permalink)
bender Addict Location: around the corner	It depends on the severaty (SP) but if I see it as too much I will say somthing and if that causes a deflection of the rage form the kid to me then all is good and well, as I can take whatever they want to dish out where as a child typically can't.