Advice on a sketchy situation. - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

The.Lunatic · 10-15-2003, 08:43 AM

Okay. The situation is as follows:
My Girl and I broke up
Various reasons mostly my fault, but none of which left any animosity between us.

Regardless i took it pretty hard, and i needed some time away from her which is hard because my friends were sort of her friends when we starting going out and they all became decent friends when we did go out. (like a year)

Bassically it just made me miserable to be around her, she pussified me i'm over that now though. So now that i not only don't want her back, but wouldn't take her back if she asked me too. I'm wondering how to proceed from here.

She wanted to be friends from the get go, and even considered friends with benifts there for a while, untill her morals kicked in

but I've been a real douche to her for the last month and a half, and now being around eachother is really aqward and hostile.

Basically i told her before that i needed time away from her, i took that time and i can't believe it, but all that time i took to sort things out actually worked.

I do want her as a friend, as i think it would be a wicked asset to have a friend that is a girl whom i could talk to about things that i wouldn't talk to about guys, especially one who knows me so well.

Then there is also this minor issue that i'm in college, and paying my own way. Thanks to alaska dividends i won't be in debt when i get out of college, but i don't have a car, and its getting fucking cold outside when i go to class on my bike. She does have a car and last year we planned our scheduels together so i could hitch rides.

I can get a car, but i'd prefer not to as it would make money very tight.

However i think that if I start trying to be all buddy buddy with her when the snow hits she'll think that i'm just useing her for her car. (shes got gnarly issues with being used)

So i'm thinking that i need to clue her into my situation soon so that she doesn't get it in her head that I'm just using her, which i have no intentions of.

Bassically i don't want her in that way anymore, but she's still a really cool person (usually), and it would be a loss, all be it an acceptable one if she faded from my life.

jimk · 10-15-2003, 09:02 AM

sounds to me like you should just give the wacky honesty ploy a shot: it took you some time to get over the breakup, during which you were occasionally a prick, but now you've healed up & come to your senses and are pretty sure you would value her a lot a friend.

worth a try, and a lot less confusing for both of you than trying to figure out what each other is feeling without talking about it....

hu-man · 10-15-2003, 09:06 AM

I agree with jimk. Take time to talk to her, under friendly circumstances. Tell her the deal like it is - you think she's too cool to lose, but you're not interested in getting jiggy - add the part about it being great that you can talk to her about anything, and you should be all set, I hope. Good luck.

The.Lunatic · 10-15-2003, 09:12 AM

Okay sounds good, She's all GnaL stubborn though so either

This will work - that would be sick

-unlikely

Tottally back fire - she'll probobally try to turn it around on me and make me feel bad or feel like an ass or find someway to put herself on top of the situation, she does that shit sometimes when it feels like losing to her.
In that case their might be another thread,

but most likely i'll just say whatever if you want to be friends in the future the doors open.

-Likely

She'll take some time to come around.

-Most likely she's a damn toe dipper.

This however is the worst case senerio, because i'm going to seattle in 2 weeks, and i want to get a car their if she's not going to come around.

Leviathan[NCV] · 10-15-2003, 09:54 AM

Aight, I'm going to assume by the post time this is the non-drunk version of the story I got the other night.

With that in mind, it all depends on how much of your pride your willing to give up, and dont give me shit about you don't have any. You're being quite bitter about the situation, and it may have ruined your chances at the possible help.

As you know I've got an attitude from hell and would rather ride my bike through the snow then go down to ask for help. But, this is a choice you're going to have to make.

Oh yeah if you get a car here that mean you'll take me to van with ya?

Darkblack · 10-15-2003, 10:20 AM

Tell her exactly what you told us in your first post....

tekaweni · 10-15-2003, 10:31 AM

<b>Darkblack</b> makes sense.

And offer to share petrol costs.

The.Lunatic · 10-15-2003, 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Leviathan[NCV]
Aight, I'm going to assume by the post time this is the non-drunk version of the story I got the other night.

With that in mind, it all depends on how much of your pride your willing to give up, and dont give me shit about you don't have any. You're being quite bitter about the situation, and it may have ruined your chances at the possible help.

As you know I've got an attitude from hell and would rather ride my bike through the snow then go down to ask for help. But, this is a choice you're going to have to make.

Oh yeah if you get a car here that mean you'll take me to van with ya?

Dude vancovers going to be fucking sick this weekend and yes this is the non-drunk version of this story.. However i'm going to van this weekend

going to seattle AGAIN in 2 weeks from this weekend i think or maybe 3 regardless car in seattle > car selection in dink ass idaho.

The.Lunatic · 10-24-2003, 10:12 AM

Heh, if Levi reads this I got myself an explorer, but its in alaska so i need to go get it sometime.

Regardless this is a follow up. I'm a pussy, so i sent her an e-mail about it instead of talking to her, because i didn't think she'd give me her time or attention, regardless i havn't heard anything back, so i send another one asking if she recieved it that kind of thing. Again no response. So the other day i had to go fix her computer as we share internet and she fuct it all up, but she seemed okay with me, but apprehensive with my presens at the same time.

I let our mutual friends know the situation, so hopefully it will get around to her.

Regardless, it sucks, because someone who i can really relate to, and i trust almost completely has me on their shit list, because it took me some time to get over our breakup.

I think my main beef is she's like the only person in the world who i can think of who really hates me i'm like george from sienfiled everybodys got to like me.

Leviathan[NCV] · 10-25-2003, 03:36 AM

Why in hell would you get anything from that God forsaken frozen wasteland?

numist · 10-25-2003, 09:33 PM

well. if your not going to get a car... balls up and use your bike or feet... itll be cold but chances are it wont kill you.

As for her - tell her, simple as that, and let things go, she may have made her own decisions about you by now as well. Providing the being used issue - dont even ask for a ride once, if it is offered, take it then.

10-15-2003, 08:43 AM	#1 (permalink)
The.Lunatic Psycho Location: Somewhere just beyond the realm of sanity...	Advice on a sketchy situation. Okay. The situation is as follows: My Girl and I broke up Various reasons mostly my fault, but none of which left any animosity between us. Regardless i took it pretty hard, and i needed some time away from her which is hard because my friends were sort of her friends when we starting going out and they all became decent friends when we did go out. (like a year) Bassically it just made me miserable to be around her, she pussified me i'm over that now though. So now that i not only don't want her back, but wouldn't take her back if she asked me too. I'm wondering how to proceed from here. She wanted to be friends from the get go, and even considered friends with benifts there for a while, untill her morals kicked in but I've been a real douche to her for the last month and a half, and now being around eachother is really aqward and hostile. Basically i told her before that i needed time away from her, i took that time and i can't believe it, but all that time i took to sort things out actually worked. I do want her as a friend, as i think it would be a wicked asset to have a friend that is a girl whom i could talk to about things that i wouldn't talk to about guys, especially one who knows me so well. Then there is also this minor issue that i'm in college, and paying my own way. Thanks to alaska dividends i won't be in debt when i get out of college, but i don't have a car, and its getting fucking cold outside when i go to class on my bike. She does have a car and last year we planned our scheduels together so i could hitch rides. I can get a car, but i'd prefer not to as it would make money very tight. However i think that if I start trying to be all buddy buddy with her when the snow hits she'll think that i'm just useing her for her car. (shes got gnarly issues with being used) So i'm thinking that i need to clue her into my situation soon so that she doesn't get it in her head that I'm just using her, which i have no intentions of. Bassically i don't want her in that way anymore, but she's still a really cool person (usually), and it would be a loss, all be it an acceptable one if she faded from my life. __________________ Proud memeber of the Insomniac Club.

10-15-2003, 09:02 AM	#2 (permalink)
jimk Addict Location: Chicago	sounds to me like you should just give the wacky honesty ploy a shot: it took you some time to get over the breakup, during which you were occasionally a prick, but now you've healed up & come to your senses and are pretty sure you would value her a lot a friend. worth a try, and a lot less confusing for both of you than trying to figure out what each other is feeling without talking about it.... __________________ raw power is a guaranteed o.d. raw power is a laughin' at you & me -iggy

10-15-2003, 09:12 AM	#4 (permalink)
The.Lunatic Psycho Location: Somewhere just beyond the realm of sanity...	Okay sounds good, She's all GnaL stubborn though so either This will work - that would be sick -unlikely Tottally back fire - she'll probobally try to turn it around on me and make me feel bad or feel like an ass or find someway to put herself on top of the situation, she does that shit sometimes when it feels like losing to her. In that case their might be another thread, but most likely i'll just say whatever if you want to be friends in the future the doors open. -Likely She'll take some time to come around. -Most likely she's a damn toe dipper. This however is the worst case senerio, because i'm going to seattle in 2 weeks, and i want to get a car their if she's not going to come around. __________________ Proud memeber of the Insomniac Club. Last edited by The.Lunatic; 10-15-2003 at 09:15 AM..

10-15-2003, 10:31 AM	#7 (permalink)
tekaweni It wasnt me Location: Scotland	<b>Darkblack</b> makes sense. And offer to share petrol costs. __________________ If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten

10-24-2003, 10:12 AM	#9 (permalink)
The.Lunatic Psycho Location: Somewhere just beyond the realm of sanity...	Heh, if Levi reads this I got myself an explorer, but its in alaska so i need to go get it sometime. Regardless this is a follow up. I'm a pussy, so i sent her an e-mail about it instead of talking to her, because i didn't think she'd give me her time or attention, regardless i havn't heard anything back, so i send another one asking if she recieved it that kind of thing. Again no response. So the other day i had to go fix her computer as we share internet and she fuct it all up, but she seemed okay with me, but apprehensive with my presens at the same time. I let our mutual friends know the situation, so hopefully it will get around to her. Regardless, it sucks, because someone who i can really relate to, and i trust almost completely has me on their shit list, because it took me some time to get over our breakup. I think my main beef is she's like the only person in the world who i can think of who really hates me i'm like george from sienfiled everybodys got to like me. __________________ Proud memeber of the Insomniac Club.

10-15-2003, 09:06 AM	#3 (permalink)
hu-man The one that got away Location: Over the hill and far away	I agree with jimk. Take time to talk to her, under friendly circumstances. Tell her the deal like it is - you think she's too cool to lose, but you're not interested in getting jiggy - add the part about it being great that you can talk to her about anything, and you should be all set, I hope. Good luck.

10-15-2003, 09:54 AM	#5 (permalink)
Leviathan[NCV] Well... Location: afk	Aight, I'm going to assume by the post time this is the non-drunk version of the story I got the other night. With that in mind, it all depends on how much of your pride your willing to give up, and dont give me shit about you don't have any. You're being quite bitter about the situation, and it may have ruined your chances at the possible help. As you know I've got an attitude from hell and would rather ride my bike through the snow then go down to ask for help. But, this is a choice you're going to have to make. Oh yeah if you get a car here that mean you'll take me to van with ya?

10-15-2003, 10:20 AM	#6 (permalink)
Darkblack Banned Location: Pennsytuckia	Tell her exactly what you told us in your first post....

10-25-2003, 03:36 AM	#10 (permalink)
Leviathan[NCV] Well... Location: afk	Why in hell would you get anything from that God forsaken frozen wasteland?

10-25-2003, 09:33 PM	#11 (permalink)
numist Banned Location: UCSD, 510.49 miles from my love	well. if your not going to get a car... balls up and use your bike or feet... itll be cold but chances are it wont kill you. As for her - tell her, simple as that, and let things go, she may have made her own decisions about you by now as well. Providing the being used issue - dont even ask for a ride once, if it is offered, take it then.