Would you look for your biological parent? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Xiangsu · 10-08-2003, 08:18 PM

I was raised by my mom. My mom and dad divorced when I was two and then my dad disappeared. I think I might try to find him, but I dont know if I should. I mean, my dad wasn't real bad. What would you guys do?

telekinetic2 · 10-08-2003, 08:40 PM

Did you have a father figure growing up?

Your signature quote seems telling, btw...based on that it might be helpful for you to resolve the unknown and meet him. How old are you know? 20's? 30's? If you're fresh out of high school, maybe give it some time...if you're confident in who you are and just want to fill in a gap, go for it.

Xiangsu · 10-08-2003, 08:44 PM

Not really, maybe my grandfather. I am confident in who I am but I dont know if it is the right thing to do. Has anyone here met their father/mother and was really happy that they did it?

XenuHubbard · 10-09-2003, 02:23 AM

Biology means nothing.

I've seen people getting more unhapp from meeting their biological parents.

lurkette · 10-09-2003, 05:25 AM

I think my answer would be different depending on the situation. If I had been adopted, I think I would leave well enough alone - I know who my Parents are. They're the people who raised me and shaped my personality.

But the situation you describe is somewhat different. What would you hope to accomplish by finding him? Do you just want to see what he's like? Ask him why he left? Establish some kind of relationship with him? Are you prepared for whatever you might find? He might be an asshole, mentally ill, dead, have another family, etc. I'd think hard about what you want to get out of this, and be sure that you're prepared for anything, before you go looking.

quadro2000 · 10-09-2003, 12:26 PM

We discussed this last month, click here for more insight and opinions.

fuzzix · 10-10-2003, 04:59 AM

I wouldn't bother, personally...

Dano069 · 10-10-2003, 06:45 AM

I'm searching now, at 41, but in a different situation. I found out last year at 40 that I was adopted. Both my adoptive parents had been dead for at least 11 years. I found mom, but, she doesn't want anything to do with me. I have no way of tracing down dad since he's not even on the birth certificate. They only way I can get his name is to get in touch with mom. Since she doesn't want contact though, it makes that impossible.

Konichiwaneko · 10-11-2003, 10:34 PM

I think it would be closure to find your dad.

View Poll Results: Would you look for your biological parent?
Yes	4	28.57%
No	10	71.43%
Voters: 14. You may not vote on this poll

10-08-2003, 08:18 PM	#1 (permalink)
Xiangsu Addict Location: Illinois	Would you look for your biological parent? I was raised by my mom. My mom and dad divorced when I was two and then my dad disappeared. I think I might try to find him, but I dont know if I should. I mean, my dad wasn't real bad. What would you guys do?

10-08-2003, 08:44 PM	#3 (permalink)
Xiangsu Addict Location: Illinois	Not really, maybe my grandfather. I am confident in who I am but I dont know if it is the right thing to do. Has anyone here met their father/mother and was really happy that they did it? Last edited by Xiangsu; 10-08-2003 at 08:47 PM..

10-09-2003, 02:23 AM	#4 (permalink)
XenuHubbard Cute and Cuddly Location: Teegeeack.	Biology means nothing. I've seen people getting more unhapp from meeting their biological parents. __________________ The above was written by a true prophet. Trust me. "What doesn't kill you, makes you bitter and paranoid". - SB2000

10-09-2003, 05:25 AM	#5 (permalink)
lurkette My future is coming on Moderator Emeritus Location: east of the sun and west of the moon	I think my answer would be different depending on the situation. If I had been adopted, I think I would leave well enough alone - I know who my Parents are. They're the people who raised me and shaped my personality. But the situation you describe is somewhat different. What would you hope to accomplish by finding him? Do you just want to see what he's like? Ask him why he left? Establish some kind of relationship with him? Are you prepared for whatever you might find? He might be an asshole, mentally ill, dead, have another family, etc. I'd think hard about what you want to get out of this, and be sure that you're prepared for anything, before you go looking. __________________ "If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France

10-08-2003, 08:40 PM	#2 (permalink)
telekinetic2 Loser	Did you have a father figure growing up? Your signature quote seems telling, btw...based on that it might be helpful for you to resolve the unknown and meet him. How old are you know? 20's? 30's? If you're fresh out of high school, maybe give it some time...if you're confident in who you are and just want to fill in a gap, go for it.

10-09-2003, 12:26 PM	#6 (permalink)
quadro2000 All Possibility, Made Of Custard Location: New York, NY	We discussed this last month, click here for more insight and opinions. __________________ You have to laugh at yourself...because you'd cry your eyes out if you didn't. - Emily Saliers

10-10-2003, 04:59 AM	#7 (permalink)
fuzzix Psycho Location: Australia	I wouldn't bother, personally... __________________ I'm most definately not 'lovin' it'.

10-10-2003, 06:45 AM	#8 (permalink)
Dano069 is Nucking Futs! Location: On the edge of sanity	I'm searching now, at 41, but in a different situation. I found out last year at 40 that I was adopted. Both my adoptive parents had been dead for at least 11 years. I found mom, but, she doesn't want anything to do with me. I have no way of tracing down dad since he's not even on the birth certificate. They only way I can get his name is to get in touch with mom. Since she doesn't want contact though, it makes that impossible. __________________ I may look attentive, but I'm taking peeks down your blouse faster than the human eye can follow.

10-11-2003, 10:34 PM	#9 (permalink)
Konichiwaneko The Dreaded Pixel Nazi Location: Inside my camera	I think it would be closure to find your dad. __________________ Hesitate. Pull me in. Breath on breath. Skin on skin. Loving deep. Falling fast. All right here. Let this last. Here with our lips locked tight. Baby the time is right for us... to forget about us.