Rude people - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

neddy65 · 08-30-2003, 07:35 AM

I work in retail and deal with the public at large each and every day. I have found that people are getting ruder every day. When I go out to do anything I wait patiently 'cause I know how things work. I am no more Important then the person ahead of me and The person waiting on me has as much right to civility as anyone else. We do not have the right to treat people badly because we are running late or we've had a bad day. We do not have the right to park in handicap spaces because we are "only going to be a minute", or use the ten items or less checkout when we clearly have more than ten items because we have to be somewhere, and if you are placing multiple or complicated orders, don't use the drive thru.
We need to put ourselves in the shoes of others and treat them with the respect they deserve and we expect.

Thank you,

Have a great day

mindy · 08-30-2003, 10:23 AM

I agree with you about rude people. I do not work in retail, but I have a tough time finding anyone to help in retail stores these days. It used to be that they were happy to get my business but now it is more like "I'll just do what I have to then you go away".

One of the things I have started doing in ALWAYS asking for the manager or writing a letter to the store when I get good service. If more people would do that it might help.

pinniped · 08-30-2003, 10:38 AM

Rude breeds in any public space. Just visit a popular tourist destination. All you have to do is introduce a large group of people to mass appealing entertainment and everyone seems to forget common decency. I find it easier to deal with rudeness if I liken it to ignorance - and remain patient.

i_t_man · 08-30-2003, 12:13 PM

I agree. For some reason we have evolved into a group of people that feel we should never, ever have to wait for anything...EVER!

This applies to small things such as waiting in line at the store but also larger life issues. I can't tell you how many college grads I've talked to that expect to graduate with a dregree in whatever and think they should be making six figures a month after graduation.

Waiting just seems to be something that people will no longer tolerate, look at road rage, it's often caused when a driver feels slighted because the driver in front of them dared to only drive 65-70 mph and not 100.

glophead · 08-30-2003, 12:38 PM

I also find internet communities are getting really rude and its filling up with more jerks everyday. This is the first jerk-free community I have been to in a long while. In nearly every online game I play or forum I visit, there are people who think they are more important than everyone one else and can treat everyone however they want. I hate this feeling of being anonymous.

Rodney · 08-30-2003, 09:43 PM

Well, whenever somebody says something like , "the world is going to hell, people are more (fill in negative attribute here) than ever before, " I'm usually the one to say, "No it was this bad 30 years ago."

Except that it wasn't. There have always been a lot of rude people, but we as a nation have gotten even ruder than I remember -- and I did work fast food and retail 25-30 years ago, so I have a basis for comparison. What's the problem? Could be several things.

First, we don't live in tight communities anymore. Used to be, people lived and shopped near where they worked, and did business with people they already knew, or friends or relatives of those people. If you were a shithead, it got around. That tended to restrain some people. If you piss off some sales clerk and it's your brother-in-law's poker buddy, you're going to hear about it. But we don't have that anymore. You probably have no connection to any of the people you see on the street or in stores even in a mid-sized city or 'burb. So what's to stop you from being an asshole? Nobody you know is ever going to hear about it.

Second, no-bullshit kind of guy I used to know liked to say, "Where the fists are slow, the mouths are fast." In other words, no matter what the papers say, we live in a world where everyday fighting, use of force, whatever you want to call it, is not an option for anybody who's got anything to lose. You could not only get arrested, you could get sued. Even for restraining somebody without hitting them. So once again, there's not even the threat of a downside for being rude.

Finally, everybody's so wrapped up in themselves that they don't see other people as people anymore. I think it's really sad. It's like some people feel that they don't need anybody else anymore -- because they've got money, or are important, or whatever -- so there's no reason to be nice to anyone.

There are always going to be people who are good to others, because they see everybody as a person who's got a life to live, and realize that we all need to work together to make society work. But then there've always been those guys who only obey the social rules because of social pressure. These days, that pressure is off.

pagoda · 08-30-2003, 10:45 PM

I hate working retail, you deal with so many assholes. It's unfortunate when the pricks rub off on you, and in turn you treat the nice people worse than you normally would.

I actually had 2(!) people talk to managers about me giving good service today, and I have to say it's been a long time coming, I bust my ass to give good service and not enough people make the effort to let you know. People just expect retail workers to bend over backwards for them like they deserve it. It's good to see people who actually appreciate it, and it motivates me to try and stop that negative attitude...I get paid shit money, I'm expected to do more and more with less and less daily. Being appreciated by someone is one of the few things that brightens my day. People treating me like a piece of shit because I have a nametag on, just see where that gets you pal...

Unfortunately, in todays world of pussyfoot managers, it gets you pretty far

neddy65 · 08-31-2003, 08:38 AM

People need to understand that service takes a backseat to the bottom line today. It is all about wage percentages now and how much you can get less staff to do without having to raise thier pay or offer any incentives. When you go into a store and have trouble finding anyone to help you it is probably because the store is way understaffed and the staff that is there is trying to do the job of 2 or 3 people. I often have people approach me while i am waiting on a customer to ask that 1 little question that cannot wait until I am done with the first customer. If i stop to answer the question I am not looking after customer #1 and if I don't stop to answer the Question then I am a rude prick who won't stop to help a customer in need. The irony lies in the fact that if I was waiting on the second customer he/she would be very upset by me stopping to answer a question from someone else. Waiting can be hard but it is a fact of life and we have to calm down and deal.

BubblegumTeflon · 09-01-2003, 02:08 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Rodney
So once again, there's not even the threat of a downside for being rude.

At least in the US, isn't there a clause in the Constitution about "fightin' words"? They aren't protected speech so you can receive a free no obligation beating if you say some really nasty things. I agree on everything else, population growth makes the price of being rude go down. "jerk deflation". The more jerks there are, the less unusual rudeness gets.

prosequence · 09-03-2003, 03:28 PM

I like smiling and nodding politely, then when they are done... KICK EM IN DA GROIN!!!!!
Then yell at the top of your voice "You gonna cry? Big cry baby gonna cry?"
As they leave in a loud voice say "If you ever touch my kid there again, I'll kill you!"

Use them separately or as a group. try them out and let me know how they work for you.

baaa · 09-04-2003, 12:12 PM

Sometimes people just start out angry with you. me no likey that

World's King · 09-04-2003, 12:16 PM

When someone starts out being rude to you... be even more rude right the fuck back.

Fight fire with fire... or is it water... or maybe it was Kool-Aid.

glophead · 09-04-2003, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by World's King
When someone starts out being rude to you... be even more rude right the fuck back.

That would just perpetuate the vicious cycle of rudeness, causing even more rudeness to run rampant in our streets. What you should do is either pretend that they arent being rude, or just ignore them (in a non rude way)

nostalgic1 · 09-04-2003, 07:59 PM

there are tons of rude people out there... all you can do is grin and bear it...

...or faceplant them into some pavement.

but i wouldn't recomend the latter.

athleticsfan615 · 09-04-2003, 09:00 PM

I hate people that act like they are too important for everyone else. One of the best things that I have happens to me everyday (I'm a college student) is have someone look at me funny after I actually wait a couple of seconds and hold the door for them. Even if they are 100 feet away. I don't have an incredibly pressing schedule so I can take 3 seconds of my day to help someone else. Just my take on things.

Booboo · 09-04-2003, 09:38 PM

Yea thats always cool.. until you get one of those people that just walks by without a glance and their nose stuck up in the air.. which has happened to me a few times when I try to be curtious.
It gets really annoying, but besides slamming the door in their face theres not much you can do. =P dont worry I havn't done it. just thought about it.

BUT on a possitive note, on the rare ocasions the people do notice, it reminds me that there are still some damn nice people in the world

jimk · 09-05-2003, 04:41 AM

unfortunately, the squeaky wheel seems to get greased. whoever pisses & moans enough gets service first - mainly just to shut them the fuck up. but this teaches them that their annoying self-centered bitching works. so, whenever i can, if someone is pulling that shit with or around me, i just try to ignore them. it seems to be working on my 3 year old, anyway.........

Cynthetiq · 09-05-2003, 08:52 AM

"do you know who I am?" mentality...

08-30-2003, 07:35 AM	#1 (permalink)
neddy65 Loves green eggs and ham Location: I'm just sittin' here watching the world go round and round	Rude people I work in retail and deal with the public at large each and every day. I have found that people are getting ruder every day. When I go out to do anything I wait patiently 'cause I know how things work. I am no more Important then the person ahead of me and The person waiting on me has as much right to civility as anyone else. We do not have the right to treat people badly because we are running late or we've had a bad day. We do not have the right to park in handicap spaces because we are "only going to be a minute", or use the ten items or less checkout when we clearly have more than ten items because we have to be somewhere, and if you are placing multiple or complicated orders, don't use the drive thru. We need to put ourselves in the shoes of others and treat them with the respect they deserve and we expect. Thank you, Have a great day __________________ If you're travelling at the speed of light, and you turn the headlights on, do they do anything? My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die! Drink Dickens' Hard Cider because nothing makes a girl smile like a Hard DIckens' Cider!

08-30-2003, 10:45 PM	#7 (permalink)
pagoda Upright	I hate working retail, you deal with so many assholes. It's unfortunate when the pricks rub off on you, and in turn you treat the nice people worse than you normally would. I actually had 2(!) people talk to managers about me giving good service today, and I have to say it's been a long time coming, I bust my ass to give good service and not enough people make the effort to let you know. People just expect retail workers to bend over backwards for them like they deserve it. It's good to see people who actually appreciate it, and it motivates me to try and stop that negative attitude...I get paid shit money, I'm expected to do more and more with less and less daily. Being appreciated by someone is one of the few things that brightens my day. People treating me like a piece of shit because I have a nametag on, just see where that gets you pal... Unfortunately, in todays world of pussyfoot managers, it gets you pretty far __________________ "It's good to be back in Burbank." "Goulet!"

08-31-2003, 08:38 AM	#8 (permalink)
neddy65 Loves green eggs and ham Location: I'm just sittin' here watching the world go round and round	People need to understand that service takes a backseat to the bottom line today. It is all about wage percentages now and how much you can get less staff to do without having to raise thier pay or offer any incentives. When you go into a store and have trouble finding anyone to help you it is probably because the store is way understaffed and the staff that is there is trying to do the job of 2 or 3 people. I often have people approach me while i am waiting on a customer to ask that 1 little question that cannot wait until I am done with the first customer. If i stop to answer the question I am not looking after customer #1 and if I don't stop to answer the Question then I am a rude prick who won't stop to help a customer in need. The irony lies in the fact that if I was waiting on the second customer he/she would be very upset by me stopping to answer a question from someone else. Waiting can be hard but it is a fact of life and we have to calm down and deal. __________________ If you're travelling at the speed of light, and you turn the headlights on, do they do anything? My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die! Drink Dickens' Hard Cider because nothing makes a girl smile like a Hard DIckens' Cider!

09-03-2003, 03:28 PM	#10 (permalink)
prosequence Psycho Location: YOUR MOM!!	I like smiling and nodding politely, then when they are done... KICK EM IN DA GROIN!!!!! Then yell at the top of your voice "You gonna cry? Big cry baby gonna cry?" As they leave in a loud voice say "If you ever touch my kid there again, I'll kill you!" Use them separately or as a group. try them out and let me know how they work for you. __________________ And now here I stand because of you, Mister Anderson, because of you I'm no longer an agent of the system, because of you I've changed...

09-04-2003, 12:16 PM	#12 (permalink)
World's King Here Location: Denver City Denver	When someone starts out being rude to you... be even more rude right the fuck back. Fight fire with fire... or is it water... or maybe it was Kool-Aid. __________________ heavy is the head that wears the crown

08-30-2003, 10:23 AM	#2 (permalink)
mindy Upright	I agree with you about rude people. I do not work in retail, but I have a tough time finding anyone to help in retail stores these days. It used to be that they were happy to get my business but now it is more like "I'll just do what I have to then you go away". One of the things I have started doing in ALWAYS asking for the manager or writing a letter to the store when I get good service. If more people would do that it might help.

08-30-2003, 10:38 AM	#3 (permalink)
pinniped Upright Location: New York, NY	Rude breeds in any public space. Just visit a popular tourist destination. All you have to do is introduce a large group of people to mass appealing entertainment and everyone seems to forget common decency. I find it easier to deal with rudeness if I liken it to ignorance - and remain patient.

08-30-2003, 12:13 PM	#4 (permalink)
i_t_man Tilted Location: Seattle	I agree. For some reason we have evolved into a group of people that feel we should never, ever have to wait for anything...EVER! This applies to small things such as waiting in line at the store but also larger life issues. I can't tell you how many college grads I've talked to that expect to graduate with a dregree in whatever and think they should be making six figures a month after graduation. Waiting just seems to be something that people will no longer tolerate, look at road rage, it's often caused when a driver feels slighted because the driver in front of them dared to only drive 65-70 mph and not 100.

08-30-2003, 12:38 PM	#5 (permalink)
glophead Crazy Location: Springfield, VA	I also find internet communities are getting really rude and its filling up with more jerks everyday. This is the first jerk-free community I have been to in a long while. In nearly every online game I play or forum I visit, there are people who think they are more important than everyone one else and can treat everyone however they want. I hate this feeling of being anonymous.

08-30-2003, 09:43 PM	#6 (permalink)
Rodney Observant Ruminant Location: Rich Wannabe Hippie Town	Well, whenever somebody says something like , "the world is going to hell, people are more (fill in negative attribute here) than ever before, " I'm usually the one to say, "No it was this bad 30 years ago." Except that it wasn't. There have always been a lot of rude people, but we as a nation have gotten even ruder than I remember -- and I did work fast food and retail 25-30 years ago, so I have a basis for comparison. What's the problem? Could be several things. First, we don't live in tight communities anymore. Used to be, people lived and shopped near where they worked, and did business with people they already knew, or friends or relatives of those people. If you were a shithead, it got around. That tended to restrain some people. If you piss off some sales clerk and it's your brother-in-law's poker buddy, you're going to hear about it. But we don't have that anymore. You probably have no connection to any of the people you see on the street or in stores even in a mid-sized city or 'burb. So what's to stop you from being an asshole? Nobody you know is ever going to hear about it. Second, no-bullshit kind of guy I used to know liked to say, "Where the fists are slow, the mouths are fast." In other words, no matter what the papers say, we live in a world where everyday fighting, use of force, whatever you want to call it, is not an option for anybody who's got anything to lose. You could not only get arrested, you could get sued. Even for restraining somebody without hitting them. So once again, there's not even the threat of a downside for being rude. Finally, everybody's so wrapped up in themselves that they don't see other people as people anymore. I think it's really sad. It's like some people feel that they don't need anybody else anymore -- because they've got money, or are important, or whatever -- so there's no reason to be nice to anyone. There are always going to be people who are good to others, because they see everybody as a person who's got a life to live, and realize that we all need to work together to make society work. But then there've always been those guys who only obey the social rules because of social pressure. These days, that pressure is off.

09-04-2003, 12:12 PM	#11 (permalink)
baaa Banned Location: ville	Sometimes people just start out angry with you. me no likey that

09-04-2003, 07:59 PM	#14 (permalink)
nostalgic1 Insane Location: Location: Location: Location:	there are tons of rude people out there... all you can do is grin and bear it... ...or faceplant them into some pavement. but i wouldn't recomend the latter. __________________ I dare you to forget the marks you left across my neck from those nights when we were both found at our best. Now I could make this obvious, and you..you could deny me all in one breath. You could shrug me off your shoulders. Just forget me.. it's that simple.

09-04-2003, 09:00 PM	#15 (permalink)
athleticsfan615 Upright Location: Boone, NC	I hate people that act like they are too important for everyone else. One of the best things that I have happens to me everyday (I'm a college student) is have someone look at me funny after I actually wait a couple of seconds and hold the door for them. Even if they are 100 feet away. I don't have an incredibly pressing schedule so I can take 3 seconds of my day to help someone else. Just my take on things.

09-04-2003, 09:38 PM	#16 (permalink)
Booboo Insane	Yea thats always cool.. until you get one of those people that just walks by without a glance and their nose stuck up in the air.. which has happened to me a few times when I try to be curtious. It gets really annoying, but besides slamming the door in their face theres not much you can do. =P dont worry I havn't done it. just thought about it. BUT on a possitive note, on the rare ocasions the people do notice, it reminds me that there are still some damn nice people in the world __________________ "Your life is yours to live, go out and live it" - Richard Rahl

09-05-2003, 04:41 AM	#17 (permalink)
jimk Addict Location: Chicago	unfortunately, the squeaky wheel seems to get greased. whoever pisses & moans enough gets service first - mainly just to shut them the fuck up. but this teaches them that their annoying self-centered bitching works. so, whenever i can, if someone is pulling that shit with or around me, i just try to ignore them. it seems to be working on my 3 year old, anyway......... __________________ raw power is a guaranteed o.d. raw power is a laughin' at you & me -iggy

09-05-2003, 08:52 AM	#18 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	"do you know who I am?" mentality... __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!