kryoptic

How does one go about starting a conversation with a stranger? By stranger I mean someone in your class/gym/insert preferred activity. In attempt to kill two birds with one stone, how do you accomplish this in a club/bar type setting? I mean, what do you say and talk about? I suppose in a normal social setting where you have something in common you'd talk about that, but what about at a club? I have this unusually strong urge to be more social than I am but don't know how this works.

The_Dude

if it's a class, you're bound to find something similiar with them and then start a conversation off of that.

say like "i liked your views on [insert topic here]"

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tj2001cobra

It depends where you are at. Try to talk about something related to where you are. Obviously, if you are both there, you both have THAT same interest in some way. If you are in a sports bar, for instance, start talking about one of the games that is on, or if you hear them order a wierd type of drink, ask them about that. Then, just add your side of the conversation whether they ask or not. It will be easy to tell really quickly if they want to talk or not.

I sometimes make fun of the situation I am in, like if you are in the grocery store waiting for meat to be cut, or something to be packaged, I usually joke about it. Making someone smile right off the bad makes them feel comfortable and it takes the anxieties away.

Try to find someone else that is alone or not talking to the people they are around. Usually, people are just waiting to be talked to. They didn't go somewhere to be bored out of their minds.

kryoptic

Thanks. I think I'll try this out tomorrow when I hit up the retro night. I guess it helps not to care so much about what other people think. I think this might be the most difficult part.

giblfiz

My approch was always to just start telling jokes. But then I have some very funny jokes, or I tell them well or something because I always get some laughs. Anyway, once people are laughing with you the rest will just flow.

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denim

I find I can talk to someone just about anywhere. I have no idea what I come off like, though.

MacGnG

FOR SURE!

hobo

Most of the time I wait for someone to talk to me. I'm a wimp like that. I am slowly getting better at talking to strangers. I need to try harder.

mingusfingers

Even with people I have been introduced to, I have trouble starting up conversations with. Just awkward silence. I'm a nut with my friends though. /shrug

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Othello

For the most part, I won't start conversations with strangers when I don't have something specific to say or ask.

Just today I was at a drugstore and walked out to see the new Porsche SUV parked beside me. The owner was still sitting inside so I started a convo with him asking about his ride.

Now on the flipside, there is a girl at my gym who I see there every Sunday. I want to walk up and introduce myself and hopefully get to know her better but I don't want to seem like those guys who go to the gym just to pick up people so I just glance in her direction every once in awhile to see that she is also looking at me .......ah well, next week I'll introduce myself and either get rejected, laughed at or kicked out for fratinizing

hobo

I never have anything to talk about. That is partly why I can't talk to strangers. I tend to lose my ability to think and talk about something stupid, or rant. I need to get help from friends or something.

angela146

It sometimes helps to ask about something that the other person seems interested in. In other words, ask her what she's reading or whatever.

drawerfixer

You are right. Not caring about what people think about you is the key to talking to strangers. However, this doesn't mean be a complete dick. I had a friend who took this _way_ over the line. I'm sure you know what's right though. Good luck.

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denim

And if she's not reading anything, what good is she??

jadedgrin

a good way to break the ice is to see why they are bored, if your waiting on line or if they are just sitting down at club.........then you can say why arent you dancing, or you dont like this song much do you, if they are pissed then you can say something laong the lines of oh, i see it must be your birthday

either way relax and if they just push you off, well.... you didnt know them anyway, just dont be an asshole on purpose.

remember, the world is cruel, everyone is at least a little lonely but probably too much of a coward to talk to strangers and make new friends....what can i say, im jaded

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aintyoboyfriend

I find it easiest to talk to people when I see something about them that I know about, a hat or a shirt with a logo, or whatever.

If that isn't the case, then I just walk up and say hello to them. The conversation will progress. shit if you have to talk about the weather, or the place you are in.

If it is a girl that you are trying to approach, try something like this: "I saw you from over there, and I had this incredible intuition that I
should come over and talk to you. But now that I'm here, my mind
has gone completely blank. So can I just introduce myself. My name
is ..."

Its way better than a pick up line, and it shows the woman that you have confidence, while still maintaining a real personality.

Cynthetiq

i usually start with, "hello..."

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GoldenOuroboros

I got a shorter version on Cythetiqs "Hi.."

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skysooner

Most people aren't very comfortable approaching strangers. It all depends on the environment, but hello works well generally. I always hated all the games that were played in bars, and if a girl wouldn't respond to a simple straightforward hello, then she wasn't the one for me. If we are just talking strangers in general, it is even easier as you don't have all of the hormonal, horny thing getting in the way when you are trying to talk with someone you are physically interested in.

kenshee

What's a good approach for like talking to a nice girl on a bus? I asked around and most girls aren't comfortable being approched by strangers.