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-   -   30 is the new Big Boy age. (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-life/173382-30-new-big-boy-age.html)

Plan9 06-04-2011 10:23 PM

30 is the new Big Boy age.
 
Mmm, let's say I turned 30 a few days ago. It just recently dawned on me as I was looking at daily reports.

Question: What did turning 30 mean to you, TFP? Were your 30s better than your 20s?

...

I got to thinking: 30 is a helluva lot better than 20. I've got everything now. I'm ready.

My 20s were a turbulent decade of figuring out what to do with myself, constant comparison to my peers, the military experience, marriage and divorce, slamming through college to the point that it was no fun, money worries, desperate serial monogamy, etc. Fuck that noise.

Totally over all that shit. Military is done, college is done, I'm relatively single (girlfriends don't count), I've got a lucrative job in my field of choice with stupid amounts of upward mobility in my near future. All the preparation to be a Big Boy is... done. Now that I'm a Big Boy and can pretty much do whatever the hell I want (Napoleon Dynamite-style), it's just a matter of, well, figuring out how I want to spend my time and money until I get tossed in a pine box. The structure of the previous institutions (military, college) is totally gone and I'm left with my own path. It's incredibly liberating because there is no down side to any of it. I'm the same grade of retard mentally and while I've got some extra wrinkles from the sun, I'm still basically in the same physical shape I was a decade ago (waistline, run times, etc.).

Anybody have some perspective or stories? I don't know what to make of it. I'm not sure whether or not I should be excited.

Ten years totally means nothing. I'm still the same dude with the same shit taste in music and weird diet. I don't feel different.

And yet ten years totally changed everything. I never imagined I'd be where I am right now doing what I do. Just surfin' through life.

I guess if I had to summarize it, I'd use some Tropic Thunder humor: "I know which dude I am."

...

I realize this is an incredibly inane middle class existential white guy topic but, yeah, I don't see a helluva lot else being posted on here.

Baraka_Guru 06-05-2011 05:35 AM

Some of us never seem ready.

At least 30 gives one more time to establish oneself. I think before that, it's easy to take yourself too seriously. I think it's a bit silly to have a "career crisis" before 30, unless you're in a long-track path like a doctor, lawyer, or other profesh.

My disposable income is still the same as it was when I was a full-time student, as are my living arrangements and expenses.

Man, I feel like such a man-child.

snowy 06-05-2011 07:39 AM

Maybe I'm weird, but I'm excited for my 30s. I turn 29 in less than a month.

With my current plan, I'll be eyeballs-deep in my teaching program when I turn 30. My hope is that the economy will improve so I will be able to find employment (though middle school jobs don't seem too hard to find :lol:). My husband will either be gainfully employed or working on his Master's.

As I see it, my relationship with my husband can only get deeper and more intimate, more wonderful as time goes on, and so for me, that is a huge thing to look forward to.

And what I'm really excited about will disgust 9er, but I'll share anyway: kids. I see us establishing our family in our 30s.

I guess one thing that helps is that I don't physically feel any older than I did when I was 20. That's kind of sweet.

noodle 06-05-2011 08:06 AM

When I turned 30--almost five years ago--I didn't feel any different at all.
Miraculously, however, people started taking me more seriously, simply because of a number.
Nothing about my knowledge base or arguments had changed, but somehow those two magic numbers, a mere 3 and a 0, made me more trustworthy, knowledgable and relatable.
And this gave me confidence. "Oh, look, maybe I DO know what I'm talking about!"
Along with that came more responsibility and more scrutiny. So I guess, in essence, turning 30 helped me grow up more because people took me more seriously.
And I took full advantage. :D

eribrav 06-05-2011 10:20 AM

I'll go out on a limb and say that when you look back in 10 years, you will find that you are much different at 40 than you were at 30.

LordEden 06-05-2011 10:28 AM

I am glad that I'm almost done with the 20-ish part of my life. I am in a better situation, but not to the point of being "ready". I'm coping better with the overwhelming anxiety and suffocating depress that plagued me most of my life. I have a career goal and I know which path to take to complete that goal. I've never been divorced and I don't have any kids, I'm starting off my 30's with a better background than most I know.

I turned 29 this past april and wonder what life holds in store for me in my 30's. I have plans, goals, and dreams lined up for the future.

Martian likes to point out that I don't work with "Big Boy Servers" and that I should be. That's what I first thought of when I saw this post (besides "Hey look, it's the 9er"). I know that there is a path towards that and it involves a lot of grunt work.

I think that I know a lot more about myself now as compared to my early 20's, but I'm not to sure how ready I am for my 30's. Maybe I'll learn EVERYTHING I need to know before I'm 30 in one year. Do a little hollywood training montage towards the end and BAM, I haz skils.

I'm still waiting for my brain-racking moment of clarity that will instantly prepare me for being an adult.

filtherton 06-05-2011 11:01 AM

I am astonished by how much of a stupid little shit I was ten years ago. And thankful that I didn't knock up any of the ladies with which I was having the intercourse (and also thankful that I lacked the social awareness to get laid as much as I maybe could have, since I was apparently quick to eschew protection if the situation required).

Even though my life is super busy and I never have enough time for myself, I am very happy with where I'm at. I'm married to a wonderful lady and have two amazing kids. I just got an awesome job with a lot of potential for growth, I'm halfway through an MS program.

I am somehow accidentally pretty much exactly where I wanted to be when I was in my early twenties. Here's hoping it lasts.

I wonder how this post will look in ten years.

uncle phil 06-05-2011 01:29 PM

when i was 30, i thought i had the wold by the balls. after numerous back-and-forths, i still feel great about whatever accomplishments i may have been credited for. life's been good to me but what a long, strange trip it's been...

MeltedMetalGlob 06-05-2011 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plan9 (Post 2906319)
30 is a helluva lot better than 20.

True- and this is coming from a guy who's careening recklessly close to 40 soon.

My 20's weren't bad (certainly a helluva lot better than my teen years) but there's nothing I did in my 20's that I didn't surpass in my 30's. :cool:

Martian 06-05-2011 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LordEden (Post 2906397)
...Martian likes to point out that I don't work with "Big Boy Servers" and that I should be. That's what I first thought of when I saw this post (besides "Hey look, it's the 9er"). I know that there is a path towards that and it involves a lot of grunt work...

That would be because working with real servers is where the money's at. Fuck that $13 per hour point and click shit. Get some Linux creds for mid-to-high five figures or (if you're exceptionally lucky and can land one of those cushy contractor gigs) even low sixes.

You've got the talent for it, but you still need the knowledge and the experience. Make it happen!

At 27 I feel like things are coming together nicely for me here. I'm not doing admin work currently because I'm waiting for an opening on the systems team, but I'm making reasonable money on the support desk in the interim. Three years from now I'll almost certainly be part of the NOC group and making bank doing work I love doing. Buying a house five years out might not be realistic, but eight should be easily achievable, and certainly before I'm forty (assuming the market is amenable, of course).

I don't know if it was always the case, but I feel like after watching myself and most if not all of my acquaintances, the decade between teenager and 'real adult' is time that's being used to find oneself, whatever the hell that means. It seems like a lot of people in their twenties don't really know what they want to do with their lives, but that by thirty most folks figure something out.

My mother went to University at 31, and she's doing fan-damn-tastic now. Thirty really isn't very old anymore.

aberkok 06-07-2011 03:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martian (Post 2906430)
Buying a house five years out might not be realistic, but eight should be easily achievable, and certainly before I'm forty (assuming the market is amenable, of course).

Dear boy... haven't you heard? We live in a post-home-ownership world... (try multiplying your estimates by at least 2... or 10).

Of course I'll be glad to be proven wrong when you invite my sorry piano lesson income earning ass to a vegan barbecue on your brand new patio in the year 2020.

Leto 06-07-2011 04:38 AM

30? seems like so long ago now. I can remember to the last detail almost every moment of my 20's, but my 30's are a blur. I put that down to raising a family. My first born son came along when I was 30. My second at 33. my third at 38. In between I was not just raising a family, I was trying to hold onto my job in the turbulent recession plagued '90's. It was only because of the market crash in '87 and the subsequent deep recession of the early 90's that i was even able to afford to buy a house.

But the profession that I fell into did me well - I was a fairly decent COBOL/CICS programmer and the mainframe world = decent $$$

I look back at my 20's as very carefree and wonder how I managed to navigated the pitfalls successfully.

My 30's were enriching but i can barely remember them!

Daniel_ 06-07-2011 10:20 AM

My thirties was spent in a job that went sour, followed by a marriage that ended, and topped off with a bout of depression. Things got a lot better at the end of my 30's, and so far my 40's have included a happy new marriage, and great new job.

Let's just say that my 40's are better so far...

Cynthetiq 06-07-2011 01:21 PM

My 20s were awesome. I made all the goals that I had for hitting 30 by the time I was 27-28. My early 30s were a complete autopilot followed by actually make some things happen in my life like get married and buy my 2nd property which became my primary residence. My later 30's I straightened up and stopped doing all the partying I had done in my 20s to early 30s.

I'm glad that I got to do this in my 30s instead of my 20s because I got to achieve more with a better direction rather than just flying by the seat of my pants.

40s so far, pretty awesome.

Ourcrazymodern? 06-07-2011 02:52 PM

So, next time I tell you I love you, you'll accept it like a fellow man? My 20's were ridiculous, & my 30's weren't much better, but I haven't managed what I wanted.

I love you.

match000 06-08-2011 07:41 AM

Howdy everyone. haven't been back here for a while: "You last visited: 06-17-2008 at 11:36 PM"

hehe. Glad to see old names that I recognize and chatted with a long time ago on here (!)

As for my two cents, I'm 27 now and starting my career.. I'm still immature for my age but I'm hoping that I'll mature quicker and catch up, as I have to start living in the real world.


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