Sion

a member of the "Mafia"?

ok, so saturday I'm going to a big family reunion. there will be in excess of 200 people there, most being relatives I've never met. well, a couple of the expected attendees have long been rumored to have ties to, if not direct connection with, the "mob". (one branch of my father's family traces its roots back to Sicily.)

so, my question to you all is this:


IF I should find myself in conversation with one of these people, what should I say? What would YOU say? What question(s) would you ask, or want to ask?

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He's the best, of course, of all the worst.
Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz

I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...

spectre

Well, considering a quarter of my family has last names ending vowels, yes, I do know some of these people. The best thing you can do, don't bring anything up about the mob, they're really not going to want to talk about it, especially if you've never really talked with them before. Just act like you would with other members of your family.

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No goddamn slave
I will be different" ~ Machine Head

Slims

Don't 'say' anything. Treat them like every body else unless you are absolutely that they are dirty. Then you should probably just avoid them.

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Jim Kata

Don't ask for any favors!

Im looking at it like this. If you were somewhere that had celebrities would you go on about how cool they are or how much you liked their album or movie? I know I wouldn't and haven't. Thats gotta get annoying to them. They are just people like you and me. So treat them like that. I'm sure they don't want to be asked all these questions by someone they don't even really know.

Rodney

I agree. Nothing. Limit questions about their life to "how are you," and "how's the wife and kids/ you still single?" Which is basically all anybody wants to answer, anyway.

I went to a family reunion lastweekend where one my cousins talked briefly about his new life managing bars, nightclubs, and "a commercial website" in the Phillipines. I just didn't want to know any more, especially with his mom standing right there.

BAMF

Make jokes that make them uncomfortable, but that you find funny. Ask them if they ever killed someone? Then laugh when they dont answer.

MSD

Don't mention it. They won't. Trust me on that one.

MacGnG

maybe, but would they let you know?

went to this really good italian bakery in NYC. limo out front, it was easter weekend, so i dunno. lotsa ppl buyin stuff. your guess is as good as mine

Mael

finish every other sentence with "badda bing, badda boom."

bermuDa

make them an offer they can't refuse, homemade pie!

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JStrider

ask them if theyve sent someone "to sleep with the fishies"

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-=JStrider=-

~Clatto Verata Nicto

tikki

No one directly, but my dad does have striking similiarities to Big Pussy. makes you wonder....

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Take notice. Take interest. Take me with you.

nicion

Nothing new to my comment, but I feel the need to reiterate on points made by others.

Treat them as you would any other family member. If they wish to discuss their involvement in the underworld (and they don't), let them bring it up. This won't happen at a family reunion. You've nothing to worry about.

erion

I was at a wedding in April (My wife's Brother's) that felt like I was at a Soprano's cast party (Bride's Family, mostly). It was weird at first, but then later it was just funny seeing how many of the stereotypes have a basis in fact.

It was a very nice, very fun affair.

Sion

update: the members of the family with the alleged ties to organized crime didnt show up, so it was a non-event in that regard. still, was a nice affair with lots of good pasta. mmmmm, I LOVE pasta and homemade meatballs.

__________________
He's the best, of course, of all the worst.
Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz

I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...

zztzed

Maybe if you hadn't blown their cover...

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"It seemed to me that if humanoids eat chicken, then obviously they'd eat their own species, otherwise they'd just be picking on the chickens."

pixelbend

Look for the name sticker -

Hi, My Name is...
GUIDO

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But I don't want ANY Spam!

tolinka

"How you dooooin?"

Wouldve worked just fine.

Acmeadventure

Look for the black sunglasses and bodyguards

discuss the dead, they are paying honor

surely you know what honor means

geodaro

Just tell them that you like their boots.........and your glad that they didn't bring you any concrete one's to try on!!!

lurkette

I grew up in an extremely small, rural town in Minnesota. When I was about 6 my dad told me about the Mafia - told me all these horror stories, and then told me that you can never tell who's a member. That even if he (my dad) was part of the Mafia I'd never know. I got totally suspicious of everyone (in our tiny cow town) and decided that the old guy who ran the barely functioning grocery store that never did any business (all the stock was dusty and half of it was expired) but still managed to stay open, was part of the mafia. I was sure anybody who went in there was part of the mafia too. I think I was 11 by the time I figured out my dad was full of shit, and the mafia would have no interest in a small farming town in rural MN.

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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France

frankx

Yep. Met one recently, but she didn't tell me until our third date that her uncle was in the "family". Didn't make much difference to me - She's nice and cute, we're both on the right side of the law and we have lots of fun together.

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Cynthetiq

I worked in the garment center in NYC... met plenty of the family before Guiliani gave them a Federal Vacation. They are people like everyone else, just famous for the wrong reasons.

Like with everyone you encounter, you show respect and congeniality.

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bparker805

I would only ask three questions:

1) Where do I sign up? and,

2) Could you pass the sauce? and,

3) C'mon, I won't tell anybody... Where did you guys hide Gotti?

laxative

Hit on their wives.

koli70

Well my dad worked for Jimmy Hoffas right hand man, they're not exactly mafia but they had ties to em. That would be sorta cool to have family in the mob, talk about the hook up. Get some free stuff

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Woman is a danger cat

Mephisto2

People earn respect.

I don't respect people who murder, torture, extort and steal.

They're scum.

You can respect "gangsters" if you wish. To me, they are nothing more than common criminals. Nothing less than an embarrassment.

Mr Mephisto

tj2001cobra

The receptionist I hired has a very Italian last name. I talked to her about it and she laughed, but said it was true. Her husband's name is Tony and when they get together for family events, all the men go off together and meet while the ladies stay behind and act like nothing is going on.

wry1

I'm a guy who's Great Uncle ran a Sand & Gravel company in New Jersey - you tell me....

Personally, I have NEVER asked anything about it with the guy. I love hanging out with him - he and his wife throw some of the best dinner parties I've ever been to - and anything else doesn't matter as far as I'm concerned.

FlorentinoAriza

just fogeddaboudid

they're just normal people. ok, they might have a "strange" job, but if nobody told u, you wouldn't even notice they are criminally challenged people.

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Rodney

My wife used to manage a steak house for a retired Mafia guy "somewhere in Arizona", many years ago. He showed up for work every day in a suit, black shirt, black tie, and diamond tie-clasp. Had TV cameras in the employee area and all other areas, so he could watch things from his office. Brought his connected friends around. He took a "fatherly" interest in my to-be-wife,: which made her skin crawl.

Once he brought his family to the restaurant to introduce them to everybody: his wife and kids, and his mistress and _her_ kids. The whole scene down there was retirees, so nobody ended up in the desert with the back of their heads blown off or anything. But she says it was still creepy.

Now, _why_ would you want to talk to these people?

cowlick

I grew up in an affluent area of rural New Jersey. We had plenty of connected people in my town. I actually knew a few connected guys who were students of my karate teacher. They were just normal every day guys.

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"It's a long story," says I, and let him up.

bundy

ask them.

if they don´t trust you, then they´ll deny it.
if they like you, and you are family... they may hook you up with some tasty work.

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Ohayo!!!

Thagrastay

I became a close acquaintance with a man and his brother who owned a lot of Gravel companies and earth moving equipment in the area. One day I asked him if he had any job openings running his equipment or such. He told me to come around at the office to talk about it. I went to his office and there was his "Accountant", a very sicillian gentleman who did nothing but glower at me the whole time. The conversation about doing work for my acquaintance soon turned into a lecture about loyalty and commitment to the company and he jokingly added that people who weren't loyal were made to disappear by his brother. We all chuckled. Then My acquaintance conferred very quietly and in italian with his accountant and they told me to come back in a few months to see whether any jobs opened up. I didn't check back and am very grateful for that.

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"That's it! They've got the cuffs on him, he's IN the car!"

Darkblack

Here is what you say.

"Hey, Uncle Loui, how you's doin eh? Me, eh forget about it, I'm lookin for work though." Then walk away. He will have someone get in touch with you in a week or two after he checks you out.


Here is what you don't say.

"Are you like, in the mob or something?"

baaa

Say "Hey Mafia boy, the turnip grows onderground"

World's King

They're normal people. Treat 'em that way.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

air45

one time, i meet this mafia man and i make a big mistake of saying 'hey you make the offer i can refuse?'

the mafia man smile and then hit me in the testes! very power in the punch!

i scream like an animal and he walk away. this was a long time ago.

nostalgic1

i'm with mr. mephisto on this one....

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I dare you to forget the marks you left across my neck from those nights when we were both found at our best. Now I could make this obvious, and you..you could deny me all in one breath. You could shrug me off your shoulders. Just forget me.. it's that simple.