Am I a sociopath?
 

I felt nothing when my grandmother died. But I faked the emotions I was supposed to very well.

I think I compulsively lie. That is, I often lie for no or little reason, or I lie for minor effects. Just so I'm seen in a slightly better light. I am really really good at this, do it automatically, and feel no guilt over it. I always leave out small parts of the truth, and am very quick and aware of it.

I manipulate people as an experiment. Even my own family members. I feel no guilt for this.

When I was a kid I loved killing animals (but not my own pets.) If someone elses pet threatened anything in my domain though (such as my pets) I wouldn't feel any remorse in killing them even though someone surely loves them.

I am a good thief. Never been caught. I feel no remorse over stealing from most stores or people. Won't steal from family members though.

If someone ever gives me reason enough (such as raping my mother) I'd love to hunt them down and torture them to death.

I don't care *at all* about people suffering in other countries or other parts of my country, like during major disasters.

I fantasize about stalking someone and raping them.

Hate comes easily. I find my friends more useful than "connected" with them. When something bad happens to them or their family I don't care at all and fake an emotional response.

I care almost nothing for the rights of others (only how they affect me) and will disregard them if I can get away with it.

I can't tolerate boredom.

I think of most consequences as how they'll affect me, rather than others.

I've never felt anything for either sex, romantically (just lust.)

Reasons I'm uncertain I'm a sociopath:
I've never tortured animals
violence sometimes freaks me out
I like my pets
Loyal to family in my own way

Am I just a well-adjusted (i.e. non murdering) sociopath?

The only thing I haven't done in your list is kill animals (except insects, I fucklin hate insects).

And maybe the lying, I stopped lying when I turned 17. You see, you don't have to lie to make yourself look better, cause no one (I mean NO ONE in this planet of 6 billion people) gives a shit what your stance on abortion is. That said, I still lie during job interviews and convince my prospective bosses that I really am baby Jesus.

I also wonder how old you are, anon, I honestly believe you will start developing and understanding complex emotions as you get older like myself. I too have been in a position when I only cared about myself. And don't get me wrong, you only care about yourself. The relationship you have developed with your family and emotional bonds with your pets is derived from a sense of continuous gratitude. They keep you so you keep them. If you are old and/or never change and they fail to provide you with whatever emotional sustenance that you need ... you will drop them like a hot potato. Even your mom, who it appears you will do anything for, if she fails you in some way and you no longer feel the love, that too, will change.

What I am trying to say is, if you don't change, then yes, you are and will remain, a sociopath.

I think it would depend on your answers to a couple of questions.

1. How old are you?

2. Do you believe that you're well-adjusted and otherwise without issues?

Sounds a bit sociopathic. Only a professional could tell for sure.

I am nearing 30 years old.

Not sure how to answer the second question jewels. I think fairly highly of myself.

You say you 'loved' killing animals but didn't torture them.
How many have you killed & what methods did you use to kill them?

Pellet guns and knives. Sometimes I'd pull their heads off. I must have killed 100s if not close to a 1000. From birds, squirrels, to frogs and snakes.

It seems like you have a pretty good idea of what can be considered anti-social personality traits & have spent some time looking it up on the net & such?

What is your biggest concern?
Are you worried that you might tip over into more violent or destructive behavior?

As Zeraph..said, Seeking professional advice would be wise.

A few of the sociopaths that I have known, hated the fact that they were like this & also
wished that people could..'see them coming' so to speak.

I'm not sure what else to say or ask.

I'm afraid to seek professional help cause I might be labeled. Can't think of a much worse label.

I just want to know for my own sake. If I am a sociopath then I can work toward being a good sociopath. Not for the sake of society but I fear the consequences of what might happen to me if I let my more violent impulses take control.

Heh, I just had a small chuckle because a little girl fell and hurt herself (crying loudly.) They always make so much noise and annoy me.

But I keep the facade up, I always give them their toys/balls back when they accidentally go over our fence.

Also, my cats missing. I don't really care. It'd be easier for him to disappear since he's getting old. Won't have to deal with putting him to sleep and vet bills.

Your a sociopath.

Now it seems as if you are posting to get a rise out someone.

I just had a small chuckle because you can see who is posting to this thread if you look at "who's on line." You are not cloaked there.

Goodbye.

Nope, not posting to get a rise. Its just freeing to tell the truth for once. And I also want to know for sure. Just giving more examples as some people still seemed unsure.

err is that a threat? I think this is exactly what anon posting is for.

---------- Post added at 08:42 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:27 PM ----------

SociopathWorld: Do sociopaths know they are sociopaths?

If you are posting to "get a rise", enjoy. I know there's an option to log on invisibly, so I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt; besides, the powers-that-be know. I enjoy playing shrink, so sue me. I wanna have fun, too.

IMO, you're not a sociopath but a pure narcissist. Lying and manipulation are experiments for you. People are here so you can test your own power. I think that killing animals may have been the same for you. Testing your strength and worth. The fact that you didn't torture them or talk about the joy it brought you gives us that subtle difference.

Thinking you're better than others is a trait that semi-intelligent people share. I say semi because most of y'all are much more educated than I am, but I still think I'm better/smarter than most people I know IRL. I think you probably come here because there are quite a few brainiacs here and you enjoy learning and sharing. That's another clue.

Not feeling a family member's death -- numbness. It could be that you just didn't like/love her, didn't know her, you're in denial, or you're glad she's no longer aging/in pain/whatever or most likely, you don't care. No matter which, it feels immature and egotistical. Not sociopathic.

You would care if someone raped your mother. Not sociopathic behavior. Rape fantasies? I've always had them. Sorry to disappoint, but nothing new. Boredom? Immaturity. Or a boring life? Back to pathological narcissism. For me, that's even scarier. I'm pretty sure it's considered a psychopathic behavior, but it should be treatable.

BTW, I don't believe that even you think you're sociopathic since you're afraid to go for help due to a potential label that you are attempting to put on yourself. A sociopath wouldn't fear a label. Granted, I'm not a psychiatrist, psychologist or social worker, so take my amateur analysis for what it's worth. However, I'd urge you to go see one since your post appears to be a cry for help.

I'm not. Ask Cynthetiq (spelling?) Cyn know who I am as I needed help posting anon. I've never once trolled or posted to get a rise. I'm a long time member of the tfp.

It brought me great joy to kill all those animals. I dissected a lot too, some were already dead. It was my favorite hobby.

err a clue for what? Yeah I'm a college graduate and usually play games that are considered "smart". A clue which way? I'd think sociopaths can be dumb or smart.

It definitely wasn't numbness. I cared not at all. Nor have I felt even a spark of caring any time her name is brought up and there is a moment of silence or something. The only thing I felt was annoyingness because I had a project to work on and I'd have to "console" my family and act all sad when all I wanted to do was homework.

Care because she is with me. She is mine. People shouldn't fuck with me if they want to live.

No, I'm honestly afraid of the label. It would ruin my charade. I'm not sure why you don't believe me. I'm not 100% sure I'm a sociopath because I'm not a psychiatrist and they have many labels but as time goes on and I think of more examples and I think I am.

If I really am a sociopath/psychopath no one must ever find out.

The times I mistook for empathy where either lust, or disgust, or something similar but not sympathy/empathy.

If I had the option to sacrifice everyone, including my family, on this world to gain immense power I would do it in a heart beat with no remorse.

Oh one more thing. I am definitely a sadist and a dom. Not saying they correlate or don't correlate to sociopathy. Just saying.

Even with pets I enjoy I like to hold them down sometimes until they freak out and yelp for help.

Boy these signs are pretty clear now. I can't believe it took me so long to see them.

Just not sure if I should seek professional help. I really don't want that label. Its worse than sex offender.

why bother with the vet bills?

cant you just take the cat out the back and pull out the pullet gun and dissecting knife?


is your reluctance for vet bills a sign that you're actually human?

Maybe, I don't know honestly. That's why I brought up this subject. Is it the risk of getting caught that stops me? Or actual emotional connection? Or a PTSD incidence. Don't know.

I don't believe that there's a Sociopath Registry. Still not getting what it is about the nomenclature ... perhaps you can enlighten further?

I found this interesting:

I Am a Sociopath. Can I Ever Learn to Love?

Well, I'm glad you posted anon. I have zero tolerance for people who hurt animals for fun.

I couldn't care less about what strangers do to each other, but animals? That's unacceptable.

You lack compassion, yet you are not devoid of it.

Can you seek to build on that?

Also, you've spoken at some length about your perspective of others. What do you think of yourself?

If you're not full of shit then you need to get yourself some professional help.

How can being labeled a sociopath be worse than being labeled a sex offender? You haven't actually done anything illegal (except for the things with the animals, which is illegal, of course). But the problem is not your fault, it's not because of something you've done. It's a neurological condition.

Posting all of this here is probably a game for you as much as anything else. We can't help you.

So, yeah, I'm not a shrink, but most of the things you describe sound like they were lifted straight from:

Antisocial personality disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Of course, just like a lot of psychiatric problems, many, many people could look at this list and say "Oh, that's me!" ('promiscuity' for instance). So, if you really want to know, check it out with a shrink. Unless you convince him that you're about to go on a raping/killing spree, or tell him about crimes you've committed (save those for your priest), you'll be fine. The killing animals thing you'd probably get a pass for, as it sounds like you did it as a minor.

Consider it a challenge...it sounds like you aren't interested in getting help from a shrink, just a diagnosis. That should be easy enough if you're as good at manipulating people as you think you are.

What will you if you go to a shrink and he says "Yep, you're a sociopath."?

You are a sociopath, that simple, read a definition and you can check off everything you just said. Get therapy only thing I can say. It will not do anything for you except help monitor you, they can not build emotion that does not exist.

For those who experience empathy, it's difficult to imagine being in the mind of someone who doesn't. & vice versa.
As mixed so very well said: The problem is neurological.

I definitely have empathy for those who don't.
Interesting irony there.
I imagine living a life without feeling connected to my fellow humans beings in any way....being very lonely, frustrating & anger inducing.

People have varying degrees of anti-social behavior,
but when it gets to this point:

"If I had the option to sacrifice everyone, including my family, on this world to gain immense power I would do it in a heart beat with no remorse.".....

I focus my energies towards helping others stay safe from this type of societal menace.

Mr. Anonymous. I hear you. When you say you don't want the label of 'sociopath'
it's because you don't want anyone to interfere with your modus operandi.

It's a cruel neurological condition,
much like schizophrenia & other organic brain syndromes.

Hopefully one day.......we can fix this.

A source I trust says sociopaths cannot be treated by any form of therapy. The only effect therapy has on a sociopath is to make said sociopath more adept at working the system to their benefit. Therapy only builds a better (read conniving, sneaky, "cured") sociopath.

It makes sense, really. The general run of people have an enormous investment in energy, drive and intelligence that we allocate towards being interactive social animals. A sociopath by definition bypasses all that frou-frou of caring, empathy, yadda yadda yadda. Which means a sociopath can pour this surplus energy and focus into their own pleasure, interests, drives . . . really gives them an edge, actually.

I think the only real option for the OP is to research lines of work where high-functioning sociopaths are both successful, and cause the least amount of negative fallout from their own particular self-directed life arc. I recommend attempting the least amount of fallout course for the simple, selfish reason that it would cause them (i.e. the sociopath population) less grief in the long run. It is a poorly executed series of choices that result in spending their declining years locked into a cell 23 hours a day until they die. Trust me, society will hunt you down and lock you away if you don't show a certain degree of control and restraint when it comes to sharing this planet with us regular folk.

One problem with the ego of sociopaths is apparently their confidence in their own intelligence, and the soft-minded weak-willed stupidity of the sheep they live beside. Sociopaths often forget that we sheep have our own breeds of hunters who thrill at the prospect of tracking down and nailing oxygen thieves to the wall.

Actually I don't see a reason for the OP in the first place, except (as others point out) it is indulging in a form of trolling/game playing by Mr. Anonymous. But there is an interesting discussion taking place, and the links that ring referenced are reading for some cold winter's night.

Insightful great post, Kramus.
Thanks.

No, you're probably not a sociopath.

Go see a licensed therapist and get diagnosed so you can be properly treated. You won't regret it.

It looks like somebody's been doing some homework because half the shit you posted is on a bulleted list on the sociopath wikipedia page!

If what you say is true, you are all kinds of fucked up and need help. If you've really killed almost 1000 animals then you need to be doped up or something. Go to the doctor. Yes I know you love getting responses from us but if there's a chance you'll listen to my advice then I'll go for it.

I hate animal killers but from your point of view and your posting I can almost sympathize with you. You do these things and enjoy them and you know that it's not normal but how are you supposed to simply drop the feelings you have? How do you change who you are? Maybe 100mg of something will do the trick. Seriously, go talk to someone.

get thee to a professional and while you are out, check out a clergyperson too...

Do you fear discovering who you would be if you weren't a (whatever label is appropriate)? Do you wonder what parts of your personality would be left?
-----
Coming back, I have another thought. Perhaps it doesn't matter if you are a sociopath or a narcissist or something else. Those are just labels. Reading through your statements, it appears to me that you lack empathy. That is a condition, not a label. Even your reasoning in your mother-rape scenario has nothing to do with her; it has to do with you ("She is mine").

Can empathy be learned? I have no idea. But I believe that it would be a good place for you to start.

You're not a sociopath. You may be anti-social, a bit of a twat, and fancy yourself as being manipulative but you're not a sociopath. Sorry. I'm fairly certain you're just up to your characteristic self-indulgent games.

obviously you know this person...he is the kool aid in the poison at ugyana but not the poison...but non the less it killed the people. But he fancies himself as the agent who did the killing. What a tard...

I don't actually know this individual...but a leopard can't change it's spots. I could also be completely wrong.

Thanks guys. I don't take the negative feedback personally. I'm pretty sure a psychiatrist can't screw me over if I'm labeled a sociopath. I think I will seek help. Though I doubt I can change. Luckily I've already adjusted to this life. I no longer kill animals or anything like that (or very rarely). Although I see animals and humans on the same level and wouldn't mind...nevermind. Might be too incriminating.

Let's just say its been very tempting to 'pull' a Dexter (the tv show). However I am not admitting to anything. These are just fantasies....

I would move rule #7 to # 1


"Thirteen Rules for Dealing with Sociopaths in Everyday Life

1. The first rule involves the bitter pill of accepting that some people literally have no conscience, and that these people do not often look like Charles Manson or a Ferengi bartender. They look like us.

2. In a contest between your instincts and what is implied by the role a person has taken on -- educator, doctor, leader, animal-lover, humanist, parent -- go with your instincts.

Whether you want to be or not, you are a constant observer of human behavior, and your unfiltered impressions, though alarming and seemingly outlandish, may well help you out if you will let them. Your best self understands, without being told, that impressive and moral-sounding labels do not bestow conscience on anyone who did not have it to begin with.

3. When considering a new relationship of any kind, practice the Rule of Threes regarding the claims and promises a person makes, and the responsibilities he or she has.

Make the Rule of Threes your personal policy. One lie, one broken promise, or a single neglected responsibility may be a misunderstanding instead. Two may involve a serious mistake. But three lies says you're dealing with a liar, and deceit is the linchpin of conscienceless behavior. Cut your losses and get out as soon as you can. Leaving, though it may be hard, will be easier now than later, and less costly.

Do not give your money, your work, your secrets, or your affection to a three-timer. Your valuable gifts will be wasted.

4. Question authority.
Once again -- trust your own instincts and anxieties, especially those concerning people who claim that dominating others, violence, war, or some other violation of your conscience is the grand solution to some problem. Do this even when, or especially when, everyone around you has completely stopped questioning authority. Recite to yourself what Stanley Milgram taught us about obedience. (At least six out of ten people will blindly obey a present, official-looking authority to the bitter end.) The good news is that having social support makes people somewhat more likely to challenge authority. Encourage those around you to question, too.

5. Suspect flattery.
Compliments are lovely, especially when they are sincere. In contrast, flattery is extreme, and appeals to our egos in unrealistic ways. It is the material of counterfeit charm, and nearly always involves an intent to manipulate. Manipulation through flattery is sometimes innocuous and sometimes sinister. Peek over your massaged ego and remember to suspect flattery. This "flattery rule" applies on an individual basis, and also at the level of groups and even whole nations. Throughout all of human history and to the present, the call to war has included the flattering claim that one's own forces are about to accomplish a victory that will change the world for the better, a triumph that is morally laudable, justified by its humane outcome, unique in human endeavor, righteous, and worthy of enormous gratitude. Since we began to record the human story, all of our major wars have been framed in this way, on all sides of the conflict, and in all languages the adjective most often applied to the word war is the word holy. An argument can easily be made that humanity will have peace when nations of people are at last able to see through this masterful flattery.

6. If necessary, redefine your concept of respect.
Too often, we mistake fear for respect, and the more fearful we are of someone, the more we view him or her as deserving of our respect.

I have a spotted Bengal cat who was named Muscle Man by my daughter when she was a toddler, because even as a kitten he looked like a professional wrestler. Grown now, he is much larger than most other domestic cats. His formidable claws resemble those of his Asian leopard-cat ancestors, but by temperament, he is gentle and peace-loving. My neighbor has a little calico who visits. Evidently the calico's predatory charisma is huge, and she is brilliant at directing the evil eye at other cats. Whenever she is within fifty feet, Muscle Man, all fifteen pounds of him to her seven, cringes and crouches in fear and feline deference.

Muscle Man is a splendid cat. He is warm and loving, and he is close to my heart. Nonetheless, I would like to believe that some of his reactions are more primitive than mine. I hope I do not mistake fear for respect, because to do so would be to ensure my own victimization. Let us use our big human brains to overpower our animal tendency to bow to predators, so we can disentangle the reflexive confusion of anxiety and awe. In a perfect world, human respect would be an automatic reaction only to those who are strong, kind, and morally courageous. The person who profits from frightening you is not likely to be any of these.

The resolve to keep respect separate from fear is even more crucial for groups and nations. The politician, small or lofty, who menaces the people with frequent reminders of the possibility of crime, violence, or terrorism, and who then uses their magnified fear to gain allegiance is more likely to be a successful con artist than a legitimate leader. This too has been true throughout human history.

7. Do not join the game.
Intrigue is a sociopath's tool. Resist the temptation to compete with a seductive sociopath, to outsmart him, psychoanalyze, or even banter with him. In addition to reducing yourself to his level, you would be distracting yourself from what is really important, which is to protect yourself.

8. The best way to protect yourself from a sociopath is to avoid him, to refuse any kind of contact or communication.
Psychologists do not usually like to recommend avoidance, but in this case, I make a very deliberate exception. The only truly effective method for dealing with a sociopath you have identified is to disallow him or her from your life altogether. Sociopaths live completely outside of the social contract, and therefore to include them in relationships or other social arrangements is perilous. Begin this exclusion of them in the context of your own relationships and social life. You will not hurt anyone's feelings. Strange as it seems, and though they may try to pretend otherwise, sociopaths do not have any such feelings to hurt.
You may never be able to make your family and friends understand why you are avoiding a particular individual. Sociopathy is surprisingly difficult to see, and harder to explain. Avoid hi/her anyway.

If total avoidance is impossible, make plans to come as close as you can to the goal of total avoidance.

9. Question your tendency to pity too easily.
Respect should be reserved for the kind and the morally courageous. Pity is another socially valuable response, and should be reserved for innocent people who are in genuine pain or who have fallen on misfortune. If, instead, you find yourself often pitying someone who consistently hurts you or other people, and who actively campaigns for your sympathy, the chances are close to one hundred percent that you are dealing with a sociopath.

Related to this -- I recommend that you severely challenge your need to be polite in absolutely all situations. For normal adults in our culture, being what we think of as "civilized" is like a reflex, and often we find ourselves being automatically decorous even when someone has enraged us, repeatedly lied to us, or figuratively stabbed us in the back. Sociopaths take huge advantage of this automatic courtesy in exploitive situations.

Do not be afraid to be unsmiling and calmly to the point.

10. Do not try to redeem the unredeemable.
Second (third, fourth, and fifth) chances are for people who possess conscience. If you are dealing with a person who has no conscience, know how to swallow hard and cut your losses.

At some point, most of us need to learn the important if disappointing life lesson that, no matter how good our intentions, we cannot control the behavior-- let alone the character structures-- of other people. Learn this fact of human life, and avoid the irony of getting caught up in the same ambition he has-- to control.

If you do not desire control, but instead want to help people, then help only those who truly want to be helped. I think you will find this does not include the person who has no conscience.

The sociopath's behavior is not your fault, not in any way whatsoever. It is also not your mission. Your mission is your own life.

11. Never agree, out of pity or for any other reason, to help a sociopath conceal his or her true character.

"Please don't tell," often spoken tearfully and with great gnashing of teeth, is the trademark plea of thieves, child abusers-- and sociopaths. Do not listen to this siren-song. Other people deserve to be warned more than sociopaths deserve to have you keep their secrets.

If someone without conscience insists that you "owe" him or her, recall what you are about to read here-- that "You owe me" has been the standard line of sociopaths for thousands of years, quite literally, and is still so. It is what Rasputin told the Empress of Russia. It is what Hannah's father implied to her, after her eye-opening conversation with him at the prison.

We tend to experience "You owe me" as a compelling claim, but it is simply not true. Do not listen. Also, ignore the one that goes, "You are just like me." You are not.

12. Defend your psyche.
Do not allow someone without conscience, or even a string of such people, to convince you that humanity is a failure. Most human beings do possess conscience. Most human beings are able to love.

13. Living well is the best revenge."

If you are a sociopath I would expect you to act in your own self interest.

Posting on this forum about your 'problems,' hinting about murder, or even committing murder a la Dexter is not pragmatic, it's dumb.