Turning 35 this year. I think something is wrong. - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

chriswin8 · 09-07-2010, 03:44 PM

So this year is going to be my 35th birthday. I have been thinking a lot about this. I don't know why. I have never pondered getting another year older before. I know we all do it, but for some reason I am having a hard time with this one. Its kind of strange. I have been thinking a lot about the past and the difference between where I wanted to be and where I am. For some reason every time i look myself in the mirror I find myself wanting.

I find myself wondering if this is normal, or if there may be something wrong with me. Is this what is known as a midlife crisis.

I am finding that I want to change everything there is about me. However I am not sure where to begin, or even if i should.

Has any of yo ever felt this way. What did you do about it?

noodle · 09-07-2010, 04:20 PM

Hello, mid-life crisis.
Everyone does it.
Age is jsut a number, mentality is what matters.
If things really need to change, change them.
If not, roll with it, baby.

Pearl Trade · 09-07-2010, 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by noodle

Hello, mid-life crisis.
Everyone does it.
Age is jsut a number, mentality is what matters.
If things really need to change, change them.
If not, roll with it, baby.

Mid-life crisis at 35? I don't know if I'd call it a mid-life crisis at that age.

What Noodle said.

Esco · 09-07-2010, 05:19 PM

Sometimes a small but unique change is all it takes to get you back in your groove. I had a friend shave his head which totally changed how people viewed him. It grew back and the change allowed him to step outside of his comfort zone.

TheDragonlady · 09-07-2010, 06:28 PM

I loved being 35. It's a great age! Enjoy it! Sounds like you're in a bit of a rut though. Trying something new may be all you need to get the blood pumping and enjoying life again. Go out on a Saturday night to a dance club and get your groove on. Take a trip to Vegas. Buy a sports car! Like noodle said, 35 is just a number. You're still young, btw!

Charlatan · 09-07-2010, 07:38 PM

We all go through this type of shit at some point. Some of us go through it again and again.

StanT · 09-07-2010, 07:43 PM

A new motorcycle worked for me.

Cimarron29414 · 09-08-2010, 05:28 AM

Just to be clear - since your mom gave birth to you, one big rock has spun around a big ball of gas X number of times. I don't know, it's sort of hard to get worked up about that. Just pick another rock that hasn't been around the big ball of gas as many times and you should feel fine.

Jinn · 09-08-2010, 06:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pearl Trade

Mid-life crisis at 35? I don't know if I'd call it a mid-life crisis at that age.

What Noodle said.

Average age for a man in the United states is something like 77; 37.5 would be apropos, but 35 is close enough.

Amaras · 09-08-2010, 07:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cimarron29414

Just to be clear - since your mom gave birth to you, one big rock has spun around a big ball of gas X number of times. I don't know, it's sort of hard to get worked up about that. Just pick another rock that hasn't been around the big ball of gas as many times and you should feel fine.

Therein lies some good perspective. Change your headspace.

Wes Mantooth · 09-08-2010, 11:07 AM

I think a lot of it just the shock of looking at the number. 35!!!! I mean you spend you're whole life thinking 35 is OLD and when you hit it well you're suddenly old too. When I turned 30 I spent a few days being reflective about how old I was, had I accomplished enough for being 30, did I make the most out of my 20's, that sort of stuff. I found that it went away pretty quickly when I couldn't avoid my normal routine and it dawned on me that I'm no different at 30 then I was at 29 and that was the end of it. I'm were I'm at in life and that's that.

Have fun on you're birthday and give it a little while to sink in if it hasn't gone away then maybe its time to think about making some changes...but see how you feel the morning after first.

I hope that made even a lick of sense.

high_jinx · 09-08-2010, 01:33 PM

36.5 here... and the main thing i've noticed the last year or so is that even though i look young and get carded still constantly, when i go out to a bar or club, everyone has started looking so YOUNG. even people like cops and stuff look like kids to me now, and while it's gotten much less awkward talking to older folks now (no more parent vibe), it's hard to be social with people less than 25 and not feel like i'm coming off as a creep.

Craven Morehead · 09-08-2010, 05:25 PM

I'm going to be 58 in a couple of weeks. No mid-life crisis here, I refuse to grow up. Try it, it works!

chriswin8 · 09-09-2010, 08:51 AM

Thank you all. I can't tell you how much this thread has helped me. I now know what i have to do. I am going to change a few things and see how that goes. First i am going to pull my Camaro out of of storage, and get that up and running again. In the end i want to be someone completely different then i am now. We will see how well this journey will be.

SirLance · 09-09-2010, 06:45 PM

Youth is fleeting, but immaturity can last a lifetime... I turn 50 on Sunday.

If you are happy when you look in the mirror, then you are happy, and if you aren't then you aren't, and your age ain't a factor. At least you have the courage to look, and while you draw breath you have the time to change what you don't like.

I think your attitude is commendable.

Eddie38 · 09-10-2010, 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by high_jinx

36.5 here... and the main thing i've noticed the last year or so is that even though i look young and get carded still constantly, when i go out to a bar or club, everyone has started looking so YOUNG. even people like cops and stuff look like kids to me now, and while it's gotten much less awkward talking to older folks now (no more parent vibe), it's hard to be social with people less than 25 and not feel like i'm coming off as a creep.

Haha...yep. It didn't help that my last gf was 25. So all her friends were young, her sibs were young and her parents looked at me like a dirty old man. I'm 38, btw.

I think at around 35+ you really start to consider whether or not you're living the life you always wanted and if you've accomplished some of the things you wanted to accomplish. It's an age where you can either dig in to your rut and live that way for the next 25 years or break out and pursue a dream. It's an age that presents a bit of a fork in the road.

xepherys · 09-27-2010, 02:53 PM

Man, I feel your pain. I'm 33 and have recently been having what seems like a mid-life crisis to me. I have two boys, 15 and 4, that are basically the reason I live and breathe every day. After my divorce from TotalMILF, I was still doing pretty well. We found mutual ground for ending our marriage and it all seemed okay (and still does between her and I). I got involved with another girl and was with her a bit over a year, by far my shortest adult relationship. I fell head over heels, but things didn't work out and now I basically feel broken. There are job, money, education, and general life issues at hand as well, but the relationship front is really keeping me down.

I have an ex... the girl I was with before TM. In a lot of ways, despite the time we've been apart, I wish we could find our way back to each other. Unfortunately that's extremely unlikely to happen. I kind of don't really want to put myself out there again. I feel like I'm damaged goods.

I'm back in school, this is my 3rd year back. I'm happy that I'm putting forth the effort, but I don't know what end it's a means to. I've been running a lot - 5 miles a day, 3 days a week - to get back in shape, but I'm not sure if I'm doing it for myself or just to fill a void. I have a job that I enjoy, despite the pay being medicore, but I'm not sure if I still want to be in this industry (IT). I'm deeply questioning every aspect of my life, and I keep coming out of those introspectives with nothing - like I don't really know who I am anymore, or what I want out of life.

It's been a few months like this now, basically it started in April and has become worse rather than better...

So, yeah, not helpful except to point out that you aren't alone.

09-07-2010, 03:44 PM	#1 (permalink)
chriswin8 Tilted Location: Buffalo NY	Turning 35 this year. I think something is wrong. So this year is going to be my 35th birthday. I have been thinking a lot about this. I don't know why. I have never pondered getting another year older before. I know we all do it, but for some reason I am having a hard time with this one. Its kind of strange. I have been thinking a lot about the past and the difference between where I wanted to be and where I am. For some reason every time i look myself in the mirror I find myself wanting. I find myself wondering if this is normal, or if there may be something wrong with me. Is this what is known as a midlife crisis. I am finding that I want to change everything there is about me. However I am not sure where to begin, or even if i should. Has any of yo ever felt this way. What did you do about it? __________________ I reject your reality, and substitute my own.

09-07-2010, 05:19 PM	#4 (permalink)
Esco Insane	Sometimes a small but unique change is all it takes to get you back in your groove. I had a friend shave his head which totally changed how people viewed him. It grew back and the change allowed him to step outside of his comfort zone. __________________ The user formerly known as BlingBling

09-07-2010, 07:38 PM	#6 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	We all go through this type of shit at some point. Some of us go through it again and again. __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

09-08-2010, 05:28 AM	#8 (permalink)
Cimarron29414 Still Free Location: comfortably perched at the top of the bell curve!	Just to be clear - since your mom gave birth to you, one big rock has spun around a big ball of gas X number of times. I don't know, it's sort of hard to get worked up about that. Just pick another rock that hasn't been around the big ball of gas as many times and you should feel fine. __________________ Gives a man a halo, does mead. "Here lies The_Jazz: Killed by an ambitious, sparkly, pink butterfly."

09-08-2010, 11:07 AM	#11 (permalink)
Wes Mantooth Junkie Location: Tennessee	I think a lot of it just the shock of looking at the number. 35!!!! I mean you spend you're whole life thinking 35 is OLD and when you hit it well you're suddenly old too. When I turned 30 I spent a few days being reflective about how old I was, had I accomplished enough for being 30, did I make the most out of my 20's, that sort of stuff. I found that it went away pretty quickly when I couldn't avoid my normal routine and it dawned on me that I'm no different at 30 then I was at 29 and that was the end of it. I'm were I'm at in life and that's that. Have fun on you're birthday and give it a little while to sink in if it hasn't gone away then maybe its time to think about making some changes...but see how you feel the morning after first. I hope that made even a lick of sense. __________________ “My god I must have missed it...its hell down here!”

09-07-2010, 06:28 PM	#5 (permalink)
TheDragonlady Upright	I loved being 35. It's a great age! Enjoy it! Sounds like you're in a bit of a rut though. Trying something new may be all you need to get the blood pumping and enjoying life again. Go out on a Saturday night to a dance club and get your groove on. Take a trip to Vegas. Buy a sports car! Like noodle said, 35 is just a number. You're still young, btw!

09-07-2010, 07:43 PM	#7 (permalink)
StanT © Location: Colorado	A new motorcycle worked for me.

09-08-2010, 01:33 PM	#12 (permalink)
high_jinx Psycho Location: venice beach, ca	36.5 here... and the main thing i've noticed the last year or so is that even though i look young and get carded still constantly, when i go out to a bar or club, everyone has started looking so YOUNG. even people like cops and stuff look like kids to me now, and while it's gotten much less awkward talking to older folks now (no more parent vibe), it's hard to be social with people less than 25 and not feel like i'm coming off as a creep. __________________ -my phobia drowned while i was gettin down.

09-08-2010, 05:25 PM	#13 (permalink)
Craven Morehead Custom User Title	I'm going to be 58 in a couple of weeks. No mid-life crisis here, I refuse to grow up. Try it, it works!

09-09-2010, 08:51 AM	#14 (permalink)
chriswin8 Tilted Location: Buffalo NY	Thank you all. I can't tell you how much this thread has helped me. I now know what i have to do. I am going to change a few things and see how that goes. First i am going to pull my Camaro out of of storage, and get that up and running again. In the end i want to be someone completely different then i am now. We will see how well this journey will be. __________________ I reject your reality, and substitute my own.

09-09-2010, 06:45 PM	#15 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	Youth is fleeting, but immaturity can last a lifetime... I turn 50 on Sunday. If you are happy when you look in the mirror, then you are happy, and if you aren't then you aren't, and your age ain't a factor. At least you have the courage to look, and while you draw breath you have the time to change what you don't like. I think your attitude is commendable. __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

09-27-2010, 02:53 PM	#17 (permalink)
xepherys <3 TFP Location: 17TLH2445607250	Man, I feel your pain. I'm 33 and have recently been having what seems like a mid-life crisis to me. I have two boys, 15 and 4, that are basically the reason I live and breathe every day. After my divorce from TotalMILF, I was still doing pretty well. We found mutual ground for ending our marriage and it all seemed okay (and still does between her and I). I got involved with another girl and was with her a bit over a year, by far my shortest adult relationship. I fell head over heels, but things didn't work out and now I basically feel broken. There are job, money, education, and general life issues at hand as well, but the relationship front is really keeping me down. I have an ex... the girl I was with before TM. In a lot of ways, despite the time we've been apart, I wish we could find our way back to each other. Unfortunately that's extremely unlikely to happen. I kind of don't really want to put myself out there again. I feel like I'm damaged goods. I'm back in school, this is my 3rd year back. I'm happy that I'm putting forth the effort, but I don't know what end it's a means to. I've been running a lot - 5 miles a day, 3 days a week - to get back in shape, but I'm not sure if I'm doing it for myself or just to fill a void. I have a job that I enjoy, despite the pay being medicore, but I'm not sure if I still want to be in this industry (IT). I'm deeply questioning every aspect of my life, and I keep coming out of those introspectives with nothing - like I don't really know who I am anymore, or what I want out of life. It's been a few months like this now, basically it started in April and has become worse rather than better... So, yeah, not helpful except to point out that you aren't alone. __________________ The prospect of achieving a peace agreement with the extremist group of MILF is almost impossible... -- Emmanuel Pinol, Governor of Cotobato My Homepage